What does this move mean?

[Don_Jaime]

Hey guys I had been ****ing this chick from work for about a few months and her IL was VERY high. She would always answer my calls, make me food and leave it for me at work. She would do anything I tell her to do(make my bed, make me a sandwich lol) We would have great sex and we would always have a great time when chilling. Well, the past few weeks her IL has seemed to drop, because she hasn't called or anything. I tried to call her last week, to pound, but she did not answer my phone call for the first time ever. I called at like 6 pm and did not hear back from her. So next day, I get a text saying that she is sorry she missed my call, but she was sleeping, which I think was bs. I kinda felt like I was being played. Maybe she was with someone else, maybe not. either way I do not care if she is ****ing someone else, cuz I **** other chicks too. Ok, well maybe I do care a little cuz I started to take a liking to this chick a little bit. I am human after all.

Anyway, I do not respond to her text. I decided to pull some no contact for a while, and let her be the one to contact me and chase. I believe it will show her true colors and if she does, I know she misses me and wants to continue our relationship, but if she does not then I know she probably just moved on. Another reason I pulled the no contact/ganji game card, is because I felt she was getting too comfortable with our relationship, seeing how I usually was setting up a date once every week and I was putting in some work to see her, which I did not mind since we had fun. I felt she starting taking it for granted a little bit, so I want her to chase now.

Today when I get to work, I notice she left my sweater I let her use and wear on one of our dates. What could this mean from a womans perspective? Is she trying to tell me something by giving back my sweater? Could it be she misses me and was thinking about me and put it there so I could call her? Or is she trying to say she has moved on and just giving it back so I dont contact her for it? Or could I just be overanalyzing?

I am not gonna lie. I kinda miss her and want her to be in my life. BUT only I only want her to be there as long as I have the power in the relationship because she is the kind of girl where if you lose your power with her then she will act disobedient and will not respect you anymore. Now I do not want to call her because I will be giving up the power and she will feel in control and obviously that is not good? Any advice?

 

[zekko]

Maybe she was with someone else, maybe not. either way I do not care if she is ****ing someone else, cuz I **** other chicks too.

Just curious here. Is it possible she found out about you screwing other girls and was upset about that? Maybe she had higher expectations for you.
Or maybe she just found someone else. You know her, which do you think is more likely?

 

[killahpl]

I say good call on the 'no contact' thing.

The sweater thing could mean anything, there's no point in overanalyzing it, although if I had to guess, I say it was her cutting of contact with you.

 

[Don_Jaime]

Shes doing it to see your reaction, its a **** test.

Do not even mention it!!!!

Also this is usually a sign if a girl doesn't want anything to do with you anymore.
unless its your clothes you ****ed her in the night before.

What is the **** test???? To see if I will call her asking what is wrong or what?

 

[katatonia]

She is baiting you to see if you will talk to her again. She wants your attention. Or it could also be a test to see if you'll chase her. As aaronlava said do not bring it up to her at all.

 

[jophil28]

Your decision to go NC after she did not pick up was a tactical error. All you achieved was doubt and confusion - so much so that you needed to post here.

When a woman's behavior changes like that it is in your interest to discover why. If she is cooling off because of something that you are doing, or not doing, then you need to find out. If she has met someone else and HE is her focus, you need to know that to make your decision to compete or retreat.
Going NC instead cut off the flow of intel.

NC has specific uses but this situation called for other actions. Now you are just floundering and bewildered.

If you asked me to guess, I would say that she has met someone else. That is why NC did not achieve the desired result - she is gaga over some other guy.

If she brought that sweater in from her house, then she is indirectly saying, "It's been nice, see ya around."

 

[Don_Jaime]

Your decision to go NC after she did not pick up was a tactical error. All you achieved was doubt and confusion - so much so that you needed to post here.

When a woman's behavior changes like that it is in your interest to discover why. If she is cooling off because of something that you are doing, or not doing, then you need to find out. If she has met someone else and HE is her focus, you need to know that to make your decision to compete or retreat.
Going NC instead cut off the flow of intel.

NC has specific uses but this situation called for other actions. Now you are just floundering and bewildered.

If you asked me to guess, I would say that she has met someone else. That is why NC did not achieve the desired result - she is gaga over some other guy.

If she brought that sweater in from her house, then she is indirectly saying, "It's been nice, see ya around."

I agree that she probably met someone else, however I do not believe that going NC was a bad move. It keeps me in control and not being the chaser. thats what you want as a dj...We don't chase em, we replace em'.

Imagine if I would have kept calling and she did not answer AGAIN. that puts her in position of power and feeling like she has me under her thumb.

NC is just helping me to kickback and put the ball in her court and if she chases it shows me she really likes me, if she does not chase, then I know was not worth it.

Thats why I do not trip if my girls meet other guys. If he has something better to offer her then let her go to him. Of course her disobidience will not go unpunished, but its whatever. I know I am a high value guy and am secure in that. I know I can get any girl I want so I does not faze me. Sure I will miss her a little bit, but of course I am logical and know there are other chicks.

 

[WhitePimp]

Yeah, I don't really see a sh!t test here. I think she found someone else and you know how easy it is for girls to drop a dude once they go nuts over someone else. If she's being this cool and distant, then I believe her IL has gone from high to non-existent

 

[iliketennis]

she has a new guy and doesn't want your clothes in her place

 

[Kailex]

I'm curious, but you say NC gave you control back of the situation?

How?

It seems like she's holding the frame over her head like John Cusack held that boombox over his head in "Say Anything".

She's got you posting here asking about what a sweater means... If you TRULY didn't care, you'd just be saying "Oh sweet, I got my sweater back". But instead, you're asking us the meaning of a sweater.

Whether it's a **** test or not, I take it you might not be finding out.

And obviously, there's someone else she is seeing and making sandwiches and the bed for now. Just be happy you actually got a sweater back.

 

[Don_Jaime]

Ok so here is the low down on this now-akward situation.

Ever since this post, I have not spoken to this chick at all. She never attempted to call me, as well as myself.

I know that she found someone else, which is fine.

Thing is, now she works night shift with me, and now I have to see her, as before we never seen each other at work.

Should I just act indifferent towards her and just keep it professional and only speak to her when it has to do with work only?

It was really akward seeing her for the first time and to be honest brought up some bad feelings since we ended on bad terms.

I am sure I could hit it, since we are all alone here at night( I work at a hotel). but not sure if I really even want to now...

The past few weeks my life has gotten great, I am moving into my own apartment tomorrow and start school on tuesday and feel that i am moving on up and just simply put, improving myself in every way.

Any suggestions?

 

[Don_Jaime]

And also right now, part of me wants to tell her get your ass over her and then grab her and kiss her, (there are no cameras), but part of me feels that I should just leave her alone and let her suffer for trying to play games with me.???kinda confused...

 

[SchoolBoy]

Your decision to go NC after she did not pick up was a tactical error. All you achieved was doubt and confusion - so much so that you needed to post here.

When a woman's behavior changes like that it is in your interest to discover why. If she is cooling off because of something that you are doing, or not doing, then you need to find out. If she has met someone else and HE is her focus, you need to know that to make your decision to compete or retreat.
Going NC instead cut off the flow of intel.

NC has specific uses but this situation called for other actions. Now you are just floundering and bewildered.

If you asked me to guess, I would say that she has met someone else. That is why NC did not achieve the desired result - she is gaga over some other guy.

If she brought that sweater in from her house, then she is indirectly saying, "It's been nice, see ya around."

I agree with Jophil. She sent you a text apologizing, then there shouldn't be a problem. NC is used in specific scenarios where you are actually trying to next a girl. NC isn't meant to play mind games, which is a side effect of NC.

I suggest to act like nothings wrong and continue what you guys have. I have a feeling there isn't a problem at all and it's only built up in your head. The fact that you need constant reassurance of attention/affection from this girl means you're not in control.

I can't assume that she met someone without any evidence of sort and you shouldn't jump to conclusions either. You obviously seem like you're quite interested in this girl, more than you claim to be.

Sometimes women just pull back without even thinking about it. It happens. This is crucial that you don't chase them, but don't completely withdraw either. Leaving her alone won't make her suffer. Girls don't have problems finding new FB's.

She hasn't called you, big deal, pick up the phone and call her and set up a time to get together if you're still interested. Being a DJ isn't about mind manipulation and playing mind games with people. It's about being a confident self-respecting individual.

As of now she hasn't done anything to "disrespect" you, she did send you a text saying she was sorry and asleep as opposed to not contacting you back at all. From experience I can tell you that women's IL go from high to medium to low and back to high, it always fluctuates. Wanting her to have high IL for you at all times constantly while dropping everything to be with you is ridiculous.

So change your way of thinking and quit trying to manipulate the situation. Talk to her and don't show her any of this affected you, like nothing ever happened. As long as you don't chase, and show any needy behaviors.

Remember, you can't control others, but you can control yourself.

Just my 2 cents

 

[frizzr13]

Another reason I pulled the no contact/ganji game card, is because I felt she was getting too comfortable with our relationship, seeing how I usually was setting up a date once every week and I was putting in some work to see her, which I did not mind since we had fun. I felt she starting taking it for granted a little bit, so I want her to chase now.

Just a question but have you read this tip
http://www.sosuave.com/articles/at/investing.htm

Ik it really helped me out and i'm sure it will help you out immensly as well

 

[Don_Jaime]

Ok so here is what happened last night lol. I decided to lead and start a conversation with her. Asked her how she has been and what has she been up to. After bringing up some good times we had, she starts throwing IOI's at me and I go in and kiss her. She moves her head away and says no, that she has a boyfriend now and that she is faithful to him. lol. I knew she still wanted me by her body language though so I went in again and basically dominated her and kissed her and at first she was resistant, but after a couple seconds she starting joining in. So I see a pic of her and her "boyfriend" on her phone and I mention he looks like a nerd and she says he lives like 5 hours away in sac town, so I am like how the hell did you end up with this goon?

I tell her lets go on a break, so we proceed to go into one of the hotel rooms and I **** her brains out. Bringing back all sorts of emotion for her. She tells me after that she missed me and I just smile. she tells me her boyfriend is already in love with her and they only have been dating three weeks! What a AFC!. She says he is no challenge, so it makes me wonder why she is with him. She is all over me at this point, sitting on my lap, keeps kissing me, basically we act how we do when we used to chill. I told her to make me a hot pocket and she complies like she used to.

I know she would dump this guy for me, but I think she believes that I am a player and have lots women so that is why she was scared to pursue a relationship. I do not know now though that I would want to pursue a ltr with a girl who just cheated on her bf and let me **** her brains out.

Its funny she would try to boss me around and tell me to do **** for her, while I laughed and put her in her place and told her that she cannot control me and she knows it. but anyway, fun night, glad I decided to talk to her and not be a weenie and just ignore her forever.

 

[SchoolBoy]

Proud of you buddy, great work!! I liked how u just plowed through her resistance like a man.

Ignoring her with NC would of been an AFC move.

The way I see it is that guy's loss for being a total AFC and falling in love after only 3 weeks!!

I hope you tread carefully for the LTR subject.. She did just cheat on her current b/f, AFC or not.

If she did it to him, she could also do it to you..

Well goodjob and a pat on the back for ya, keep up the good work!

 

[AMDG]

If she did it to him, she could also do it to you..

Worse - she gets the ego fix from two places now, and the OP is into sharing her. There are risks associated with such a behaviour