What do you think?

[manfromitaly]

If you find some aspect of her behavior undesirable, or some of her thinking to be aberrant, it's incumbent on you to communicate your objections to her. Out loud and directly

If I feel like seeing her and talking to her I definitely will

 

[manfromitaly]

She wrote to me now if I want to talk soon (she will finish work soon) I don't understand this "Let's talk" Either she wants to continue seeing each other or she doesn't what does she want to talk about lol

 

[BaronOfHair]

...what does she want to talk about lol

-Her day at work

-The latest season of House Of The Dragon

-Discovering that her mother has Stage 4 colorectal cancer

-The significance of The Epicureans being consigned to The 6th Circle of Hell, in Dante's Inferno


The list of subjects she might possibly wish to discuss with you is infinite, hombre. You won't know for sure, until and unless you converse with her

 

[manfromitaly]

-Her day at work

-The latest season of House Of The Dragon

-Discovering that her mother has Stage 4 colorectal cancer

-The significance of The Epicureans being consigned to The 6th Circle of Hell, in Dante's Inferno


The list of subjects she might possibly wish to discuss with you is infinite, hombre. You won't know for sure, until and unless you converse with her

Definitely, but I don't feel like it now, here it's 11.20 in the evening. I told her I can't now

 

[The Diver]

Ok guys I know what I did doesn't make much sense, but really why not. She hadn't written to me anymore so this morning I sent her a message and now I'll show you the conversation. I repeat, I seem needy, in reality for me it was a way to make her understand that she didn't behave well. I don't care if I seem needy, low value or whatever, what you think. Do you want to try again or do you want to tell me that you are no longer interested in me? Couldn't you tell me by text?
Me: Anyway I don't understand why all those demands, I wish he didn't smoke, and the condom, and then disappear like that.
It was enough to say it, it's not that I was offended
Her: But it seems to me that you are offended, if you want we can talk today or whenever you can and we will solve this whole mess.
Me: I continued to write to you and you began to refuse invitations without asking me again another day
Her: Then I propose it to you
Me: I'm busy today I'll let you know
Her: Let me know and let's go out for a quiet chat
I don't want to upset you
__(That I don't want to upset you made me suspicious so I replied)
Me: But don't worry me, I just want to know your intentions, if that's not what I'll find another one, you can do whatever you want for me
Her: wow thanks for the beautiful vulgar words
Me: You disappeared without giving any explanation
I just said I'd rather know
I don't see any vulgar words
I already told you, if I see that a person isn't looking for me, responds after hours, refuses invitations, I think they've changed their mind.
Her: ok all the fault is mine, I forced you to have a relationship with me
I already said that I want to resolve this in person and talk to you, but it seems like you want to discuss it more than resolve it
Me:No, it's okay for me to talk about it
Her: Ok whenever you want

In my opinion the chat was too long and accusing. What the point of it?

I will say something short and to the point like:
"I feel there are some issues we should talk about and I prefer to do it face-to-face. Let me know when you are free for a chat?."

Done.

Texting long massages can be minefield if you're not really good at it.

 

[manfromitaly]

Update: After not making myself available a couple of times we finally met:

as has happened before she tried to blame me, saying she thought I had changed my mind.

She thinks she's smart, she tells me a lot of lies, I know for a fact that she's in touch with a lot of other guys (she's on tinder, and I was able to see that she always follows a lot of new men on Instagram) I had to notice these things because at first I thought she wanted to a serious story but she's not serious at all.

So now I know who I'm dealing with and all I have to do is not think about it too much, try to see her when I feel like having sex, without obligation.

 

[manfromitaly]

Update on this girl:

The morning after we met she texted me, how are you and **** like that.

She contacted me again a few days later telling me that we should organize something together, I said okay, we arranged to have breakfast together (I would have preferred to see her immediately in the evening but she finishes work late and I didn't want to wait until 1am so I accepted)

We spent half an hour together and exchanged a kiss before leaving.

I wrote to her a few days later, she replied, I wrote to her again and she disappeared.

She contacted me again 2 days later with a long message telling me that she was too busy, that she doesn't go out anymore, that she's working a lot, that she's tired and that she thinks I need to find another girl who is more available.

Of course I know she just found another guy or doesn't want to see me anymore and I didn't even respond.

Not because I felt bad about it, I don't care, I had already lost interest, I just wanted to have sex at least one more time.

All this makes me smile because I knew it would end like this, she had already lost interest some time ago.

But I don't understand why she wanted to push the envelope so much, she could have already told me a few days ago

 

[Agamemnon43]

She was probably disappointed with you. You didn't escalate.
And whats with this breakfast bullsh*t? Why would you accept a breakfast with her if you wanted to have secks with her?
I don't even wanna listen to myself while having breakfast, let alone to a woman. Should have suggested a date late at night instead.

But seems like you already knew the outcome, so I'm glad you get your suspicions and theories confirmed. Yes, it usually works out this way... it's a valuable experience anyway.

 

[Learning Curve]

She contacted me again a few days later telling me that we should organize something together, I said okay, we arranged to have breakfast together (I would have preferred to see her immediately in the evening but she finishes work late and I didn't want to wait until 1am so I accepted)

You will have time to get plenty of breakfasts when you are 80years old and you are with your woman in the house trying to find that viagra to get it hard.

If you don't want to do something don't do it. "You have preferred" but you still went on with it. What you should have done is decline, and arrange another day in the evening when she is free. So there is your red strike one.

We spent half an hour together and exchanged a kiss before leaving.

Escalation? (Hey, let's go to my place?) etc? Where?

This is weakness from your side. You don't lead. You hessitate.

I wrote to her a few days later, she replied, I wrote to her again and she disappeared.

She did, because you did not escalate she got bored.

She contacted me again 2 days later with a long message telling me that she was too busy, that she doesn't go out anymore, that she's working a lot, that she's tired and that she thinks I need to find another girl who is more available.

What she is telling you is that she has placed you in friendzone, she is bored of you. Basically you lost the game.

Of course I know she just found another guy or doesn't want to see me anymore and I didn't even respond.

It does not matter, forget about your ego. Improve.

Not because I felt bad about it, I don't care, I had already lost interest, I just wanted to have sex at least one more time.

You do care, because you post about her here. Also you just wanted to have sex at-least one more time. Here is your problem.

You wanting to have sex "at least one more time" shows in the way you behave and the way you are handling this whole situation. When a woman senses weakness and that all you want is your little penis to get inside her without creating proper context of time-place-escalation you are out of context and out of your game completely.

 

[manfromitaly]

No I don't care, I only posted to expose the fact that in the end it was what I thought and to underline how sometimes women don't have the courage to end relationships but wait for you to do it.

She had already lost interest before, and probably wanted to keep me quiet because for example she works in a friend of mine's restaurant.

Seeing her again also helped me understand whether I was attracted or not and whether it would have been worth waiting until 2 am to have sex.

I'm sorry but I'm also starting to get fed up with the fact that it's always us men's fault, I had mine, the sex was good. If she changed her mind, too bad for her.
.As I already said in another post, thanks to social media, women are now full of men hanging around them.

Evidently I wasn't the best choice for her and this pushes me to improve aspects of my life but I haven't lost anything special

 

[manfromitaly]

Escalation? (Hey, let's go to my place?) etc? Where?

This is weakness from your side. You don't lead. You hessitate.

She had to go to work

 

[manfromitaly]

When a woman senses weakness and that all you want is your little penis to get inside her without creating proper context of time-place-escalation you are out of context and out of your game completely.

This is why I chose to have breakfast and not see each other in the evening. You are contradicting yourself my friend but thanks for your opinion anyway

 

[Learning Curve]

She had to go to work

You change the day, you don't go on that day.

You go out with her on the evening when she is free (off)

 

[Learning Curve]

This is why I chose to have breakfast and not see each other in the evening. You are contradicting yourself my friend but thanks for your opinion anyway

You don't even understand your own answer.

You said you wanted to have sex for "one last time" yet you schedule a breakfast with zero context behind it to end up in a sex.

In order to have sex you should have scheduled your date in the evening in a different day when she is completely free. Creating an opportunity for sex to happen.

Don't tell me, i contradict myself when you are the one aiming to have sex for "one last time" yet you say you are not interested.

If she lost interest or not it does not matter. If she talks to other guys or not it does not matter.

All the matters is the end result, which is you masturbating at the end of day.

I'm not harsh with you, i'm real.

 

[manfromitaly]

You change the day, you don't go on that day.

You go out with her on the evening when she is free (off)

I think that at this moment she would not have accepted, she works in catering, she works 2 shifts a day and she hasn't had any rest for 3 weeks.

Honestly, I proposed to her that we meet in the evening and she told me that we could have breakfast so she had already rejected the invitation (maybe here I should have understood that she was no longer interested in sex), and I repeat I accepted to see if I was still attracted from her, I want to mention that I was the one who lost interest at some point but she insisted on talking to me.

Surely you can always do better, but I think I had already lost before.

I don't even want to think about it too much because she's only 21, who knows what's on her mind, she's on Tinder, she must be at the stage where she wants to have fun with more men

 

[Learning Curve]

I think that at this moment she would not have accepted, she works in catering, she works 2 shifts a day and she hasn't had any rest for 3 weeks.

That's fine, let it go. Arrange it next week. No need to push or rush for a breakfast with no end-result.

Honestly, I proposed to her that we meet in the evening and she told me that we could have breakfast so she had already rejected the invitation (maybe here I should have understood that she was no longer interested in sex), and I repeat I accepted to see if I was still attracted from her, I want to mention that I was the one who lost interest at some point but she insisted on talking to me.

That's fine, but since you knew that she rejected the evening and proposed a breakfast you already knew deep inside that this is toasted. Actually, if you had rejected that and said "Not interested for breakfasts, but if you are up for some drinks let me know" you had the potential to increase your chances and set the stage for her that either it's drinks and sex or get lost.

Because at this stage you just went along with it, again i understand that "you lost interest" but here we are examining her behaviour.