What do you think happened?

[SamMason92]

What do you think happened? Please Help!

Recently, I told my gf of 9 months that a girl had tried to kiss me and I had said no and walked off. I asked her if this had happened to her. She said yes, I asked what happened and she said she gave him her number.

I pushed and pushed and she said she had been out at a friend’s birthday drinks 2 months ago and a guy had tried to kiss her, she pushed him off and said she had a bf, she was so drunk that she continued to talk to him for 2 hours and that at some point they were outside waiting for other people and he grabbed her and said “give me a kiss”. She was so scared he would try to kiss her again so she said, “if I give you my number will you leave me alone”? She gave him her genuine number, he text her the next day and she deleted the text. Her friend told her 2 weeks later, that the guy liked her but she said no she has a bf. She couldn’t remember his name and he was disgusting.

Eventually over a week it came out in this order. Firstly, she does know his name and had withheld it from me so as not to upset me. Secondly, she found him attractive and that she was flattered. They did in fact leave at some point and went to get fast food but had come back as it was busy (my friend works on that street and has said there are no fast food places, so the reasons her friends left is because they were on another street). Everyone had jumped in a taxi by that point so they were alone so he put his hands on her waist for about 30 seconds asking for a kiss. She said- no but I will give you my number. She typed her number into his phone. 2 weeks later, her friend who knows both of them said- **** keeps asking about you and wants to meet you. She knows that her and I were together for 6 months at that point.

I however still wasn’t satisfied and kept on digging as the story didn’t add up. She said that night she went home and cried as she knew she had wronged me by doing that but honestly thought that giving him her number would in fact stop him trying to kiss her again. Why would you cry and be distraught about that? She text me at 3am saying- I miss you.

2 days ago I was round hers and we were looking at old photos on her phone and I noticed a photo of that night was on there, it wasn’t of anything in particular but I said- what else is on here? Please just tell me. She said go ahead and look. So I looked at her messages and nothing was on there. Then I looked at a message app she has that duplicates every text you have. The text was still there! She grabbed it and swore she didn’t know it was on there. But she also got angry and said "if you're so perfect, why don't we look through your phone"? She gave it back and the message was him saying Hey Kitten, great night, great laughs and chat. I’m around this afternoon if you want to meet for a coffee. How did she miss it over 2 months? But why would she keep it over this week knowing how nosey I was being? I put on my coat and tried to leave but she was crying and begging me not to go. I felt so bad so I stayed.

I stupidly have asked her to message him and ask him what happened. The message she sent sounds rather weighted: nothing happened did it? (that sort of thing). We are waiting for a response. However, she says that I should prepare for the worst. He may make something up to break us up or just ignore it. She says she knows nothing happened but that it may have and simply she can’t remember. She admits now she has a drinking problem, she passes out drunk whilst out and doesn’t remember anything. It has happened 5 times this year already. We are going to the doctors to discuss this.

I know I shouldn’t have gone through the phone nor asked her to contact him but I know in my heart that the story just doesn’t add up.

If nothing happened then it would be awful to walk away from the woman that I love but part of me feels like I am being too gullible. I just want this nightmare to end.

What hurts me if she withheld it from me, that she has lied consistently over a week and that her reasoning for it was that I was distant at that time and the relationship wasn’t going great. However, I had family issues that I simply couldn’t ignore, I was still in contact with her and seeing her as much as normal, I was however a bit quieter I imagine and I was so worried about my family member.

Her past is quite troubling though. She broke up with her ex bf 3 years ago and then seemed to lose it. She had 10 unprotected one night stands with strangers. It makes me sick to think of. She saw two guys for a few months but both of them left her. She is begging me not to go.

We are both 26 and this is my first relationship. She is very pretty, loving and an amazing job. I don't honestly think I could do better.

What do you think happened?

 

[ImTheDoubleGreatest!]

Dude. Dude. Dude. She is cheating on you. Why else would she feel guilty? And she is trying to hide something from you. That is how you know she is not innocent. Why would she keep 2 month old messages too? Just leave her already man. I remember reading a posy here before that went like this: when a woman says or does something that doesn't make sense, it isn't that it doesn't make sense. It's just the simple fact that THEY'RE BULLSH!TTING YOU.

There is a lot more stuff to this but that is the gist of it. Leave the Girl no matter how hard it is and no matter how much she begs you. Don't give in. Anyway, read the stuff here too. At the bottom left part of the screen you will see something called the 'DJ Bible'. Click on it and read it, as much as you can. And read The Book of Pook too: http://www.returnofkings.com/misc/The_Book_Of_Pook.pdf
Oh yeah and by the way, welcome to the forums.

 

[mikey2012]

Recently, I told my gf of 9 months that a girl had tried to kiss me and I had said no and walked off. I asked her if this had happened to her. She said yes, I asked what happened and she said she gave him her number.

I pushed and pushed and she said she had been out at a friend’s birthday drinks 2 months ago and a guy had tried to kiss her, she pushed him off and said she had a bf, she was so drunk that she continued to talk to him for 2 hours and that at some point they were outside waiting for other people and he grabbed her and said “give me a kiss”. She was so scared he would try to kiss her again so she said, “if I give you my number will you leave me alone”? She gave him her genuine number, he text her the next day and she deleted the text. Her friend told her 2 weeks later, that the guy liked her but she said no she has a bf. She couldn’t remember his name and he was disgusting.

Eventually over a week it came out in this order. Firstly, she does know his name and had withheld it from me so as not to upset me. Secondly, she found him attractive and that she was flattered. They did in fact leave at some point and went to get fast food but had come back as it was busy (my friend works on that street and has said there are no fast food places, so the reasons her friends left is because they were on another street). Everyone had jumped in a taxi by that point so they were alone so he put his hands on her waist for about 30 seconds asking for a kiss. She said- no but I will give you my number. She typed her number into his phone. 2 weeks later, her friend who knows both of them said- **** keeps asking about you and wants to meet you. She knows that her and I were together for 6 months at that point.

I however still wasn’t satisfied and kept on digging as the story didn’t add up. She said that night she went home and cried as she knew she had wronged me by doing that but honestly thought that giving him her number would in fact stop him trying to kiss her again. Why would you cry and be distraught about that? She text me at 3am saying- I miss you.

2 days ago I was round hers and we were looking at old photos on her phone and I noticed a photo of that night was on there, it wasn’t of anything in particular but I said- what else is on here? Please just tell me. She said go ahead and look. So I looked at her messages and nothing was on there. Then I looked at a message app she has that duplicates every text you have. The text was still there! She grabbed it and swore she didn’t know it was on there. But she also got angry and said "if you're so perfect, why don't we look through your phone"? She gave it back and the message was him saying Hey Kitten, great night, great laughs and chat. I’m around this afternoon if you want to meet for a coffee. How did she miss it over 2 months? But why would she keep it over this week knowing how nosey I was being? I put on my coat and tried to leave but she was crying and begging me not to go. I felt so bad so I stayed.

I stupidly have asked her to message him and ask him what happened. The message she sent sounds rather weighted: nothing happened did it? (that sort of thing). We are waiting for a response. However, she says that I should prepare for the worst. He may make something up to break us up or just ignore it. She says she knows nothing happened but that it may have and simply she can’t remember. She admits now she has a drinking problem, she passes out drunk whilst out and doesn’t remember anything. It has happened 5 times this year already. We are going to the doctors to discuss this.

I know I shouldn’t have gone through the phone nor asked her to contact him but I know in my heart that the story just doesn’t add up.

If nothing happened then it would be awful to walk away from the woman that I love but part of me feels like I am being too gullible. I just want this nightmare to end.

What hurts me if she withheld it from me, that she has lied consistently over a week and that her reasoning for it was that I was distant at that time and the relationship wasn’t going great. However, I had family issues that I simply couldn’t ignore, I was still in contact with her and seeing her as much as normal, I was however a bit quieter I imagine and I was so worried about my family member.

Her past is quite troubling though. She broke up with her ex bf 3 years ago and then seemed to lose it. She had 10 unprotected one night stands with strangers. It makes me sick to think of. She saw two guys for a few months but both of them left her. She is begging me not to go.

We are both 26 and this is my first relationship. She is very pretty, loving and an amazing job. I don't honestly think I could do better.

What do you think happened?

You can always do better. Soft next her and see what happens.

 

[salinechow]

Ok. Here you go. The keys to the city. From a recovering beta to another.

She cheated on you. She has probably done it more than once.

And you know what, despite what everybody might say, its not even the physical stuff that is so weighted and important.

She "cheats" you every day. Because she has too little respect for you man. She pity’s you for how much she used to care about you and that now you allow her so much. She pity’s the man she thought you once were. Then she pity’s herself for her own bad behavior and that she cant get the guts to outright leave you to find a better man.

There are many ways to be intimate in this world man. Emotionally(someone who speaks to her passions), intellectually(someone who challenges her ideals and calibrates her thinking), and physically (without sexuality)(gives her a hand massage or hugs her in a way that makes her swoon. Rubs her shoulder blades while doing it). Meaning connection. If you really think about it, all that should piss you off just as much. I assure you when a woman has lost respect for you she will allow it to happen with other guys, A LOT. Yet, because she eventually comes home to you, you think you are still in the win column. YOU ARE NOT. She has disconnected with you and her socket is waiting for another plug.

You found out about one time. Yet, my friend, there have been a multitude of "cheats" since whenever you actually lost her. She "cheats" your character every day since and, its because you allowed it to happen. There is NO love, NO relationship, without respect. Do not confuse pity with respect or love. She is. Rise above her level. This girl has her hand on the ripcord and you need to pull it for her. At least go out with respect. You will save a little face at least.

You’re bent out of shape about the physical cheat most of all right? Yet, you should be just as concerned about every time she wished she could be with someone better because they made her laugh or connected with her in another way that would lead her mind to sex with them. If she had a MAN in her life she would not do this or it would be fleeting and she would recommit herself better to you when she saw you. She would do this out of respect and love instead of pity.

I challenge you. Look at her the next time you see her. Really look at her and into her if you can. Ignore yourself and CONNECT with her energy. Like you used to when you first met. What do you see and feel now? If you are not to far gone, your being and your core will sense the truth. She has contempt and pity. Even if she doesn’t know it her actions scream it. Even if she doesn’t know it, your primal flight or fight response will sense the danger of staying with this woman any longer.

I know I sound harsh. You need harsh. Actually that’s why you came here. You came for answers, like I did. The truth my friend is never easy, but let me tell you, it doesn’t change because of what you believe to be the truth. The truth remains the same despite your perception of it. The truth is, you lost this girl already.

Even her begging you not to go shows me she has no respect for you. She thinks you are weak enough to listen. If she still had respect for you she would realize that you WILL go no matter what she says. And, you should.
Finally, you are dealing with a girl that has Borderline personality disorder. These guys here all know what I am talking about. Now, you need to look it up. More truth for you to consume. You cannot save her buddy. You cannot even ever truly love her. Even if you feel you do, she will never receive it in the way a woman should from a guy whom loves her.

This. Is. Finished.

Up to you how long you suffer through the end.

You will suffer no matter what. We understand this. We are sorry. We have all been there. However, you do have control over the timeline of how long that suffering lasts.

Now, for the advice of what to do about it.

First, break up with her in a way that leaves it over for good. NO friends. No doors for her to sneak back in and beg. You have to sever ties man. YOU HAVE TO!

Next, if you do not already, you will go to the gym and go all out there. You will pour all your energy into it. When the body suffers the emotions suffer less. Your physiology will prioritize healing your body and you will think less of your emotional pain. While this is happening the bodies healing mechanisms will help to heal you all around. Brain chemicals will balance and testosterone(as well as countless other chemicals) will increase confidence and clarity. As a side benefit you will start to look better than you ever did. Here is a challenge: Spend the same energy in the gym that you spent on her. HAHAHA. Bet you cant do it. If you do anything even close though you will heal so much faster than you ever imagined.

You will immediately download Tinder and begin to communicate with other woman. This is not to necessarily to meet someone new. This is just to start to have place holders and company and some fun. This will be the fastest way for you to start spinning other plates. This is a pillar of your new foundation. YOU MUST DO THIS. Tonight! Who cares if the girls you line up for now aren’t comparable to this chick. Doesn’t matter right now. You are rusty. You are a supplicating AFC. Your game is weak and needs work. Got to walk before you run. Just talk to a harem of other woman as fast as you can. Communicate with all types of other girls and someone might actually surprise you. New connections of all kinds will begin to open your world again. Help you to focus outwards instead of inwards.

Feeling lonely, read this forum. READ IT. You are not alone sir. Surround yourself with other MEN and you will become a better one.

Still feeling lonely, call anyone but her. Friends, cousin, sister, grandparents, exs, Tinderellas, a f^cking movie listing hotline if you have too. Just do not cave. You sir are going No Contact. You need to remove the cataracts that blind you.” I cant find someone better. “ WTF! Any girl that doesn’t cheat, lie and disrespect is better. You are better. Go No Contact and each minute that passes will begin to pull back the vail of how stupid that statement is.
If I was you I would be pissed that being with this girl got that to ever leave your mouth. In writing no less!

I PROMISE you, you will find someone better. As a matter of fact, she will find you. BUT… will you be ready for her? To not repeat your past when she does?

Read and heed the advice on this website and you will indeed be ready. And, you will be happy.

Next, you will do everything you can to excel at your current employment. Again, taking the wasted energy you once gave to someone who didn’t deserve it and applying it to your own success. Clean your desk, brainstorm a new idea, and create a plan to get promoted, go the extra inch or mile every day at work.

Volunteer or join a club. This is awesome. Sounds corny right? That’s because you focus is to narrow. I like to always throw out Fire and EMS because its fun. Its manly. You meet great people and you will receive lots of respect for doing it. It will be good for you to feel that again. You will respect yourself too. What does this girl do? Does SHE give anything selflessly to strangers? Not such a great girl after all huh? Or, if that doesn’t float your boat. Join a club or organization of interests you have. Learn a new language, join a gun club, yoga(great for meeting hot girls) salsa, rotary club, debate, books, flying lessons. I don’t know ANYTHING. Anything to fill your time from pining over the past.

Each of these things will chip away at your suffering.

In 30 days you will be 100% better.

In 60 days 100% better than that.

Dump this girl. Swallow the red pill. Begin your life as it is supposed to be.

We are here to help. We are doing it with you.

You ARE NOT alone.

 

[Between_The_Lines]

Knocked it out of the park salinechow.

You must spread some reputation around before giving it to salinechow again.

Read and re-read and re-read that response OP.

 

[RangerMIke]

Salinechow... spot on, rep +1. Good advice, hope the OP heeds.

 

[SamMason92]

Thanks mate.

I will do everything you advised.

I have already got back on tinder and have a date for Monday night.

I have signed up to the gym.

I volunteer in law enforcement on the weekends so I will do more shifts.

I have spoke to my boss and he has said that 2015 is my year if I want it to be. I still am aiming to be on six figures by the time I am 30 so I am still hoping for that.

The only problem I find is that my ex was pretty darn good. She was a doctor, went to the best university, got top grades, was beautiful and very giving in affection and time. She was lovely, regardless of what happened.

So I have some questions for you if you have time to answer them.

1) Will everything always remind of her? Every movie has a doctor, every road sign has a hospital, there are ambulances everywhere, with the police I am in hospitals a lot. Will I always be reminded of her when this occurs?

2) I have found out recently that the guy lives really close to her. So am I reading to much into the idea that the- "I'm around this afternoon if you want to grab a coffee" probaly is literal?

3) Finally, what do you think happened that night? Salinechow- You seem to be a very wise man. Going by what I said what do you think actually happened?

I know from knowing his address and knowing he got a bus home where they must have gone to which is the next major street a long. Hence I know now that her friends went because they literally could not see them. I suspect they actually left far earlier than she let on, maybe went to another bar.

Talking to older people like my parents, they think that she is in fact telling the truth and me digging the way I did and not accepting anything probaly caused her to slip up and in reality she did just like she said.

Therefore, are the following grounds sufficient to dump someone you really love?

-Not walking away from a guy who tried to kiss you.
-Leaving a bar with the same guy to be alone.
-Letting him touch her waist (I have never been drunk and touched a girls waist and kept my hands just there).
- Giving him her number.

I really don't think she text him back, and had I not dumped her I believe she would have never have contacted him again. But it is too late now.

I think part of this is down to the fact that I am a late bloomer. I am 26 and this is my first breakup. Most of my friends went through this 10 years ago.

I am so hurt and angry by what she did. Part of me wants to go and knock this guy out, but I don't blame him. I probaly would have tried it if I was single.

Again, thanks for your advice, I will follow it.

 

[Mr_Maximus]

It all boils down to this

She left the bar with him so they could be alone and she gave him her number. ---> [her track record with strangers]

If she wanted him to leave her alone she would not have left with him alone.

 

[jc_80]

Damage has been done. You're never going to forget this. You're always going to wonder what really happened and if there's more to the story. You can't trust this woman, and it's her fault, not yours. Even if she didn't get physical with this guy, it shows she's the type that puts herself in risky situations that create opportunity for cheating. Do you really want to have this nagging suspicion and anxiety eating at you, making you insecure? You know what's going to happen - you'll be monitoring her, interrogating her, insecurity will be oozing from your skin so bad she'll literally smell it, and she'll eventually dump you for it and make you think you're mentally unstable, and she probably wouldn't be too far off the mark because you would be, because she made you this way by being a sh!thead.

 

[Moroder]

@Salinechow
You, sir, have kicked some major-league a$$. What a glorious booster for morale.

 

[salinechow]

I cant post back. It says.

The message you have entered is too short. Please lengthen your message to at least 3 characters.

Anybody know why this is happening?

 

[blind_one]

Salinechow great job!

OP, seriously if you follow through you will also be a hero for many.

Be a man and develop yourself into greatness.

Surround yourself with good and you will forget what is bad. After some time you might still remember the ''good'' from that dysfunctional relationship. Write down everything that was wrong. Over time we tend to remember only the positive so as long as you keep the ''****-list'' with you to remind yourself in the right moment how evil she was you'll laugh at yourself with a sly grin and strike forward into yet unconquered future.

Stick around, absorb the environment keep on truckin.

 

[salinechow]

Responce

Thanks mate.

I will do everything you advised.Good. Do it ASAP. Proud of you already. Follow through.

I have already got back on tinder and have a date for Monday night. Now THIS I am encouraged by! Don’t be discouraged if she is not everything you ever hoped. Appreciate her for whoever she is. You are there for you. Maybe you have to friend zone her. No prob. Good to know lots of people. Never know what she can offer you later in life. Connections have just as much value as money in this life. If she is a complete troll just drink alot and laugh. You got a good story. If she is not and you get the vibe, close the deal. You’re back!

I have signed up to the gym.#1 thing you can do in this life. Im serious. 1st you have nothing without your health they say. Second, there is NO OTHER relationship you will ever enter into that will give you what exercise does. Think about it. Anything you give to fitness, it will give back. Give 120 percent thats what you will give back. give 46 percent effort, well, thats what you get back. Now, give a girl 120 percent what will you get back? Almost always less. Exponentially less. Give a girl 46 percent and what will you get back? Almost always b!tching and whining and lies and cheating and nagging. This kinda pertains to most people really. The gym...the gym will never let you down. You will ALWAYS receive what you give.

I volunteer in law enforcement on the weekends so I will do more shifts.I tip my cap. Bless you sir. You are already better off than most around here.

I have spoke to my boss and he has said that 2015 is my year if I want it to be. I still am aiming to be on six figures by the time I am 30 so I am still hoping for that.I am so glad to hear this. But do not rest in other peoples words. MAKE IT SO. Sounds great though. She is fading already.

The only problem I find is that my ex was pretty darn good. She was a doctor, went to the best university, got top grades, was beautiful and very giving in affection and time. She was lovely, regardless of what happened.Look, man, I don’t know the braud. She sounds lovely. That’s why other guys like flirting with and touching her. She has it all put together right? That’s the OUTSIDE. She has less character and good will then you think. Otherwise she would have had a person to person talk with you and said she was unhappy and wanted to meet other people and left you. She would have respected you enough to treat you like a human being and a MAN. Instead of skulking around in the shadows of half truths and lies. She would have respected her own dignity enough to not taint her good name and all her accomplishments with becoming labeled a liar(to someone we would like to think is of very significant importance in her life and timeline of life). Dude, she obviously doesn’t REALLY care about what you feel or how you think about her. That’s low. Hurting someone else is one thing. Yet, when you stop caring what another person thinks about your own good name and dignity and character that tells me you have no respect for that person, contempt for them, and the same for yourself in the situation. No pride in who you are as a person to someone else is darkness.

continued in next post

 

[salinechow]

Cont

So I have some questions for you if you have time to answer them.

1) Will everything always remind of her? Every movie has a doctor, every road sign has a hospital, there are ambulances everywhere, with the police I am in hospitals a lot. Will I always be reminded of her when this occurs?

Yes. I hope so. Or you have brain damage. Seriously though. Yes it will.
Now, it will be much less vivid after a while and it will happen less often. However, fear not, you have some control and input here. This is how to fix it. When you take ownership of the future you can be thankful of the past. You should be thankful for every breath you took while you were with her. I know sounds crazy but thankfulness will always defeat regret but regret will always defeat you. The past was wonderful Im sure. Go back and a do it again then..? Oh wait.. Exactly. Enjoy those memories allow them to show up and enjoy them. You can think about those moments with her, you can even do so fondly, you should. It was a blast when it was good. You were a 50% participant in the wonder. They couldn’t have happened without you. Its not all her. Dont throw out the baby with the bathwater dude.

However, what I do suggest is to not think about what SHOULD have happened or COULD have happened. If you are reminded of her in a positive way allow that in. Dont suppress it or it will show up in a way that is not as nice. If you are reminded of her and you start to regret actions or think about what could have been, then that is when you suppress.

2) I have found out recently that the guy lives really close to her. So am I reading to much into the idea that the- "I'm around this afternoon if you want to grab a coffee" probably is literal?

WHO the f^ck cares where he lives. You are still hung up on physical stuff. Proximity is just another version of it. You are blinded by weakness and being in this relationship. You are blinded by love, lust, and limerence. SHE F^CKED YOU OVER. Doesn’t matter if it was with her p^ssy, her goosebumps, her laughter, her time, or her sacrificing her dignity for whomever gave her a rise. Forget about her box. She gave out her # and LIED. She held hands with. She got in another dudes car bro(in a romantic fashion im talking)! WTF! Listen, we all love p^ssy, great stuff. Like I said before though there are a 1000 ways to be intimate. I dont know about you but getting in another dudes car... his smell, his playlist, his confidence O GOD. Im sick over it for you.

Look, I know I am making this worse for you, but you need to swallow the red pill and see the truth of the matter here. If you are going to be jealous, be f^cking jealous over the whole picture please. This will get you angry enough to realize you need to disengage this chick forever and right away. Once you do that, then you no longer stay jealous and realize that you were glad it happened and you are looking forward to a bright future and wish her good things. And then you set up camp in that mind set.

3) Finally, what do you think happened that night? Salinechow- You seem to be a very wise man. Going by what I said what do you think actually happened?

See above. This is a question similar to the last. Ill answer a different way this time though.

Nothing happened. She’s a great girl with the utmost respect for you and everything you share together. The only reason she gave that guy her # was so she could lead him on over coffee and get him to piant your apartment while you made passionate love with her in the next room. She lied over and over because she wanted to surprise you with the new Mauve bedroom color. You are a jealous pest and she loves that about you. She never dreamed of having a guy who is so in tune with her that they go through each others phones. Your complete lack of frame as a man, and as an individual is exactly what every relationship should feel like. That is what happiness is all about.

Which answer do you believe in your heart?

Every sordid detail of what happened that night and all the nights you dont know about(yet) does not matter. What matters is what you do know. Anyone of those reasons is reason enough to break up with a "great"girl.

Do you know what I dont hear from you and sobbing over? This, "Saline, is any of this worth LOSEING MYSELF over!!!!!!!!!!

I know from knowing his address and knowing he got a bus home where they must have gone to which is the next major street a long. Hence I know now that her friends went because they literally could not see them. I suspect they actually left far earlier than she let on, maybe went to another bar.
Details deatails. Doesn’t matter. Your love of her is false also. No one can REALLY love another individual until they love themselves better than you have been doing. You both are lost. Stay away from each other. Let this other guy deal with her confidant exterior and her made of ashes interior. Dude just because this chick made you laugh and c#m and made you chicken soup when you had a cold doesn’t mean she is what you think she is.

Talking to older people like my parents, they think that she is in fact telling the truth and me digging the way I did and not accepting anything probably caused her to slip up and in reality she did just like she said.

Your parents don’t want you to see the truth because they don’t want to see you hurting. When they have private talks amongst themselves they probably say

Mom- "So, did you mean what you said down there or do you really think that girl cheated on him?
Dad- I dunno, I just didnt want him upset because that makes you upset. He will figure it out. It will be good for him. We cant codle him and give in all the answers forever. Hes a MAN now Clare. He has to figure these things out on his own.
Mom- Well it sounded so sincere. I dont usually hear you talk that way. It was very sweet.Come here you big lug.
Dad- No. You are old and gross and blocking the TV.


Therefore, are the following grounds sufficient to dump someone you really love

I definitely answered this already. See ALL sufficient reasons above?


-Not walking away from a guy who tried to kiss you.
-Leaving a bar with the same guy to be alone.
-Letting him touch her waist (I have never been drunk and touched a girls waist and kept my hands just there).
- Giving him her number.

Im not even a fully hatched DJ yet but...If that guy was me...TRUST me I at least finger blasted her for a while and then kicked her off my knob for giving terrible head.

I really don't think she text him back, and had I not dumped her I believe she would have never have contacted him again. But it is too late now.

I think part of this is down to the fact that I am a late bloomer. I am 26 and this is my first breakup. Most of my friends went through this 10 years ago.

I am so hurt and angry by what she did. Part of me wants to go and knock this guy out, but I don't blame him. I probably would have tried it if I was single.

In 4-6 months, when you look like a f^cking action hero with your shirt off and have a really beautiful Thurs night girl on your arm...If you still want to kick his a$$ you go right ahead. You really get ripped in prison.

Again, thanks for your advice, I will follow it. It not "my" advice. Its wisdom I gained from here. I just typed it out so that I may hear it for myself as well. The best way to learn is to show. Dont thank me. Thank those who have shown me.

Youve got this bro. You are in a better way than most around here. Maybe even me. Go forth into your "yet unconquered future" I loved that line Blind_One

P.S Look at the names that are giving me accolades that I humbly receive. Now go read a handful of their posts. Now come back. If that is the caliber of my advice it has a lot more weight than even I thought at first.

 

[SamMason92]

Just wanted to give an update to this. Since sending my last, I have upped my police shifts which has built my confidence quite a lot.

I also have signed up to a dating site and have a date set up for next week......with another doctor.

So my questions are:

1) How do I play it cool so that she doesn't catch on to the fact I know quite a lot of about doctors (she is applying for a new position and I know a lot about the process like interview dates, salaries etc).

2) Any tips on the date itself? This girl is way hotter than me plus she is 2 years older. I am a bit out of shape physically since I broke up with my ex.

3) What happens if they know of eachother, friend of friend etc. It is a small world and doctors only seem to hang with doctors.

4) She seems keen but also a bit resistant. Insists on not doing dinner for first date, which I never suggested. With a classy girl like this, do I kiss on the first date or play the long game?

5) Do I ever bring up my ex was a doctor as well? They are the same height, same hair colour, both petite and slim. Quite obvious I am just replacing, but I do have a type. This girl does seem to have a sense of humour though. And looks quite a lot more sexy than my last. Every time she gave me head I used to day dream about going to a museum or some funny **** I saw that day. So if I get to that stage with this one and I don't think about a military vehicle or some Roman engineering I know I am doing better.

6) How the hell do I keep getting them? I think Doctors seem to be a forgotten talent pool of women. They are both so hot and seem to really respond to intelligent conversation. I would say I am about average looking. I am definitely funny and quite smart. But nothing out of the ordinary. I just think guys are intimidated by their profession. But the second you strip away the God complex, most seem to lack a childhood as they have spent so long studying that they lack experience (probably why my ex went looking). Definitely check it out guys.

Also, a humorous tale. Got drunk the other night with a buddy. Sent the ex an email which wasn't too nice. Said she will take legal action if I do it again. So anyone reading this, if you are angry, don't send a email. If I do, I may get arrested by the guys I work with on the weekends. Emailing 'you are a slut, you gave me thrush, I pray you didn't give me HIV' is definitely not harassment as far as I can see though.

 

[Trump]

Got drunk the other night with a buddy. Sent the ex an email which wasn't too nice. Said she will take legal action if I do it again. So anyone reading this, if you are angry, don't send a email. If I do, I may get arrested by the guys I work with on the weekends. Emailing 'you are a slut, you gave me thrush, I pray you didn't give me HIV' is definitely not harassment as far as I can see though.

Bro if that's not harassment, what is? She could definitely sue you for that.

At least you didn't say I'm going to stalk and rape you for the way you treated me. :nono:

 

[PeasantPlayer]

I'm so happy I have never been in love

 

[Mike s]

Fred S Newengland is gay

 

[salinechow]

Just wanted to give an update to this. Since sending my last, I have upped my police shifts which has built my confidence quite a lot. Keep going. VERY encouraging. Just let me remind you though, cause I have seen this more than I would have liked. YOU are not a LEO. Serve, and do not let it get to your head. I am not saying you would or will. I have just seen this volley work get some people in trouble. Just a reminder.

I also have signed up to a dating site and have a date set up for next week......with another doctor.

So my questions are:

1) How do I play it cool so that she doesn't catch on to the fact I know quite a lot of about doctors (she is applying for a new position and I know a lot about the process like interview dates, salaries etc).Play it cool by being who you are. Its great that you will be able to chime in on this. She will be interested you for it. Demonstrating awareness and knowledge of a part of her dynamic will create comfort, attraction, and interest. HOWEVER, to keep that in your win colomn you need to not let her know HOW you know it. Either just shrug and smirk coyly, or if say say something, say, "I am just a very knowledgeable individual." Or" I read alot" or" I dunno I just have good listening skills when I meet people, must have picked it up somewhere"

2) Any tips on the date itself? This girl is way hotter than me plus she is 2 years older. I am a bit out of shape physically since I broke up with my ex.Girl typically dont see things that way. If she agreed to go out with you and follows through, she finds you attractive, the only thing that can happen from there is you making her believe she was right, or f^cking it up, and driving her attraction to you away. Girls are emotional. Thats how you win. Stimulate her. Be funny, and mysterious, but natural and normal. Be yourself, but dont give her everything(details) that is yourself.

3) What happens if they know of each other, friend of friend etc. It is a small world and doctors only seem to hang with doctors.THAT would have been perfect! Except for your lack of discipline send an EMAIL! Seriously dude, who does that. Smack yourself and your friend. You NEVER put anything in writing that you do not want the ENTIRE world to read. Your dad, granddad, pastor, girls you know, girls you haven’t met yet, the police, the FBI. NEVER, NEVER write anything down! JUst. Plain. Dumb.

Who cares if they know each other. It would work in your favor more than it wouldn’t. Plus, who gives a damn anyway. You haven’t even gone out yet. Dont overthink it to the ends of the earth. (taking my own advice would be nice right now!) How about just go out and enjoy YOURSELF, being out, with a pretty girl. Hopefully, while YOU enjoy your time with her, she does too. If not o well, its a blink in a long story.

4) She seems keen but also a bit resistant. Insists on not doing dinner for first date, which I never suggested. With a classy girl like this, do I kiss on the first date or play the long game?Your last girl was classy too right! Stop pedestaling girls, for their looks, or their profession. She is just a PERSON. She waits in line at the DMV, and her farts smell bad. She looks in the mirror and wishes things were different, and prays to a God she doesn’t love when her dog is sick or when she doesn’t want a ticket. She is just a person! Trying to figure out life the same as you. You know what, not only that, she has been driven her whole life to succeed Im sure. Yet, when she attained it, she still found herself wanting and rudderless. She is not resistant, she is scared. She is hiding behind a false poise of success. You want this girl? LEAD her. Ill bet anything she is weary of finding her own way and wants someone to give her a break from that driveness that protected her for so long. LEAD her to fun, laughter and comfort. LEAD her to the passion of your embrace and your bedroom. LEAD her to give up her pretentious attitude and then LEAD her to an Orgasm!

5) Do I ever bring up my ex was a doctor as well? They are the same height, same hair color, both petite and slim. Quite obvious I am just replacing, but I do have a type. This girl does seem to have a sense of humor though. And looks quite a lot more sexy than my last. Every time she gave me head I used to day dream about going to a museum or some funny **** I saw that day. So if I get to that stage with this one and I don't think about a military vehicle or some Roman engineering I know I am doing better.WTF! are you talking about. You are thinking of bored games and weapons while getting blown! Your f^cked up! Dude, enjoy the BJ!? When you get close TELL her to stop and then eat her box. I really need to tell you this? Then switch, then 69 her, than stop. Then pour wine. Take a break. Than pound her till she cumms. Then stop. Then smoke a butt. Then pound her again. Then switch. Dude, stop preforming and LEAD her!!!!! She will love you for it. Get out of your head and enjoy the ride. And brah, stop thinking about blow jobs when you haven’t even decided if you want one from her yet! HAHAHA. What if she has flu breath? Maybe a gag reflex? How about just take a sip of a ****tail with her and get to know one another before you start thinking about blow jobs and what world series youll picture in your mind. You can be kind of an idiot sometimes huh? Just go have some fun and be fun. Jeesh.

6) How the hell do I keep getting them? I think Doctors seem to be a forgotten talent pool of women. They are both so hot and seem to really respond to intelligent conversation. I would say I am about average looking. I am definitely funny and quite smart. But nothing out of the ordinary. I just think guys are intimidated by their profession. But the second you strip away the God complex, most seem to lack a childhood as they have spent so long studying that they lack experience (probably why my ex went looking). Definitely check it out guys.You said it yourself. You are awesome! (no sarcasm. You are. Keep that going.

Also, a humorous tale. Got drunk the other night with a buddy. Sent the ex an email which wasn't too nice. Said she will take legal action if I do it again. So anyone reading this, if you are angry, don't send a email. If I do, I may get arrested by the guys I work with on the weekends. Emailing 'you are a slut, you gave me thrush, I pray you didn't give me HIV' is definitely not harassment as far as I can see though. And just when I think you rule... You go and fail us both by this NONSCENSE! NEVER do anything like this EVER again. Lesson complete.

It most certainly is harassment. Cause the letter of the law will say any unwanted contact by her determination, is. It also, liable. You CANNOT write that without proof that it is so. If you were drunk and accidently introduces that to her network of other people in life she could most defiantly sue you. Your life would turn to misery fighting it. Do not do that again.

Go on your date without hope or agenda and enjoy yourself. Be outcome independent and live in the moment. Lead! The rest will follow.