What do you think Advice needed

[john1234]

Help with this issue pls.

My long term gf has just come back from a 1month trip (alone) in sunny europe( I could not go because I was looking for a job.) She's back only a couple of days and has accepted to go on a holiday with her best friend for a 1 week and suggested to leave me with her child (I diverted with reason.)

She knew, I am now working but she invited me to go on the 1 week trip (knowing I cannot go) and later said she will go without me, will go with her girl friend.

what do you think about this? and how can I avoid this?



HISTORY

She went on the 1st trip to Europe alone and puts the child with family and childcare so she can go places.
I got a work placement after she came back. She was upset for all sorts of reason mainly because she wanted a baby and work placement somehow changed the dynamics of this?but things settled once I put the law down.

Since she came back from the 1st 1 month holiday, I noticed she is quite different in attitude! I noticed she is more secretive and never leaves her phone out of sight! once day I came back early I couldn't find her laptop(she hide her laptop under sofa) bearing in mind before she left she was very very open with her phone and laptop.

I became suspicious and on Facebook see some guy posting pictures of her(taken from her page) and her liking his page and him liking her page etc. This guy is from where she went in Europe. I noticed that they contact each other on messenger too!

Before we got together I told her that her man friends must be known to me and vice-verse. I confront her about this mystery guy. She says he is just her friends,friends and he is in problems emotionally from a breakup so she referred him to a sports club and her friend is in-fact dating him (friend is married) and it perfectly innocent it is my paranoia working here!

Now my trust for her is low.I do feel as if she did not cheat and this guy is stuck in the friend zone. But another part of me feels as if she is a mega Wh0re and all her man & woman friends sleep around with each other(that what she tells me apart from her?)

I am not sure how to proceed with this mess! In 2months time I will be better financially to go it alone. Now I am living and paying the rent/bills in her place etc

 

[Zunder]

She's hiding her phone because the guy(s) in Europe that fvcked her are sending p.ov. videos to her of their c0ck sliding into her doggie style.

Wake up dude.

 

[Greasy Pig]

If you're that broke, hang in there until you're financially independent and then bail. She wants to dump the kid with you so she can go off having fun? Messaging some guy? Hiding her devices?
There is no respect here. The only way to regain it is to dump her azz cold and go ghost.
Fvck this bytch.

 

[Tictac]

While she's gone, make some new 'friends'.

 

[Scaramouche]

Dear John,
All the advice is good....There are soo many Red lights here...having a child is a big No-No....Every couple of weeks someone posts something on single mummies...but this girl is the dizzy limit,so selfish...seems even her indulgent parents have lost patience with her...be smart get out from under soon as possible!

 

[LorenzoVonM]

Listen to your gut dude, its there for a reason. Your subconscious is picking up erratic behavior, its not paranoia although she will try to mindf*ck you into believing that it is. You know the answer or else you would not have written the post.

It doesn't even really matter if she cheated or not. She is acting shady. Next.

 

[john1234]

While she's gone, make some new 'friends'.

one day, I came across a girl who had car problems, she gave me her number and wanted it even though she admitted having a bf.
In the end I just didn't follow this girl up as it would get too messy! and just talk to her.

She wants to dump the kid with you so she can go off having fun? Messaging some guy? Hiding her devices?
There is no respect here. The only way to regain it is to dump her azz cold and go ghost.
Fvck this bytch.

Tell me more about her agenda you sound right here
If this makes any sense we have been arguing lately

 

[Greasy Pig]

A woman who respects you and doesn't want to lose you wouldn't be giving you cause to doubt her.
That means she shouldn't be entertaining other men.
As for dumping the kid with you, a day or two at most would be reasonable but not for a whole week and definitely not so she can have a holiday without you. I think it's asking too much. If she had to work or something, that may be more understandable, but not just to make you an unpaid babysitter while she lives it up.
I think she's just using you and I'd be bailing unless there's a complete change in behaviour.

 

[Big Nuts]

I'm not the possessive type, but no one I consider my GF is going to fvcking Europe without me....for a month????

The naivete of the young guys here is startling.

I trusted her, right????? (famous last words)

She gobbled c0ck like a Thanksgiving turkey over there, u know it.

 

[john1234]

I'm not the possessive type, but no one I consider my GF is going to fvcking Europe without me....for a month????

The naivete of the young guys here is startling.

I trusted her, right????? (famous last words)

She gobbled c0ck like a Thanksgiving turkey over there, u know it.

She wanted to go to Europe, to her family home(a sort of break and holiday.)
What was I suppose to say without coming across possessive?

To be honest any tips will help, for good reasons I should tell her not to dump the kid with me so she can go on holiday!
If I say the truth she just says one is evil etc

 

[zekko]

She went on the 1st trip to Europe alone and puts the child with family and childcare so she can go places.

All else aside, what kind of woman dumps her kid off to go on a month trip, and then looks to dump her off for another trip as soon as she gets back?
What kind of woman is this? I would think she would be so glad to see her kid after being gone that long, that leaving again would be the furthest thing from her mind.

Posters here often warn about single mothers putting their children above the men in their lives. But I would think a woman NOT putting her child first would be a much bigger red flag, especially for a LTR. If a woman doesn't have loyalty to her own child, how do you expect her to have it for you?

 

[john1234]

All else aside, what kind of woman dumps her kid off to go on a month trip, and then looks to dump her off for another trip as soon as she gets back?
What kind of woman is this? I would think she would be so glad to see her kid after being gone that long, that leaving again would be the furthest thing from her mind.

Posters here often warn about single mothers putting their children above the men in their lives. But I would think a woman NOT putting her child first would be a much bigger red flag, especially for a LTR. If a woman doesn't have loyalty to her own child, how do you expect her to have it for you?

Dude I'm not trying to defend her, however I should have been a little clearer.
She took the kid to Europe and stayed in the parents house where she setup day-to-day child care for the kid so she can go out (she also did leave the kid with the parents when she wanted to go out.)

I think she cares about the kid some what, but i she when she wants to go out she wont hesistate to get child care or dump with someone she knows etc

 

[john1234]

I need good reasons to tell her that I aint going to wait about for her to go abroad alone etc.

I'm trying to buy more time to get my sh*t together and leave. The truth is I can't trust the B*** again. Like when I go to work I cant trust her! She always making fake excuses(he is depressed) to talk to her man friend during our time out and stuff!

 

[DAardwolf]

I need good reasons to tell her that I aint going to wait about for her to go abroad alone etc.

Hi John, I'm confused. Why do you need to come up with any reasons at all, other than you simply don't want to wait?

Are you tied to this woman financially, as in you'll end up homeless if you leave her?

If not, you don't need to explain or justify yourself. At all. Just do what you know needs to be done. I know, easier said then done.

Follow your gut.

 

[juliedhulem]

I would suggest to check her phone or her emails or anything if you get chance so you can clear all your doubts and if you feel find out anything suspicious, then you should just confront her rather than thinking about it and making your life miserable.

 

[Scaramouche]

Dear John,
With the best will in the World,you are a Train Wreck waiting to happen...Why make excuses for this slack arsved Bvitch?...Go out and spin plates,or wait around for the kick in the guts you will surely get!

 

[Colossus]

I noticed she is quite different in attitude! I noticed she is more secretive and never leaves her phone out of sight! once day I came back early I couldn't find her laptop(she hide her laptop under sofa) bearing in mind before she left she was very very open with her phone and laptop.

BAD sign. Trust me.

 

[switch]

bro tip:

if you make a thread about a girl, and its more than two sentences.....she is not your princess.

 

[glass half full]

you don't need a good reason for anything, to be discussed with her. Tell her you have decided that the lifestyle and type of relationship you two have is not your cup of tea. Then dump her. No more talk between you needs to be said, as she will act on your sensibilities. Women are way too good at this today. Be nice about it, but firm. That way it doesn't bite you in the azz later (reputation- girls talk.) Respect yourself, you have a right to the kind of relationship you want, and this is not it.

 

[john1234]

Are you tied to this woman financially, as in you'll end up homeless if you leave her?

If not, you don't need to explain or justify yourself. At all. Just do what you know needs to be done. I know, easier said then done.

Follow your gut.

Sort off I'm taking advice from the guy who said to make saving up my primary goal.

Things is I really looking at this and seeing things she does that irritates me.
like meeting her old gay buddies and talking pictures and splashing them all over internet!