What do you think about the so-called "Hookup Culture"?

[Bingo-Player]

7-8 or so years ago i was pro hookup but i was early 20's and enjoyed having sex with pretty much anyone or anything

Now i am older and wiser i dont view it so positively i don't think its particularly healthy for a male or female after about age 25 to be indulging themselves into too many one night stands

The odd one yea sure it happens but to go out actively looking for random people to sleep with isn't really conducive to a healthy lifestyle and that is from someone that has been there and done that

 

[pipeman84]

Now i am older and wiser i dont view it so positively i don't think its particularly healthy for a male or female after about age 25 to be indulging themselves into too many one night stands

IMO this is a big misunderstanding, namely that it's OK for females to, euphemistically put, 'explore their sexuality' (hoe around) up until the age of 25. Then they can just snap their finger and magically transform into Snow White ready to meet her prince and start a family. Say what?!

Based on upbringing, environment, own preferences and ideas about life, by the time they're 14-15 girls self select into basically 3 groups 1. putting high value on their sexuality and expecting to find a good guy for marriage/children 2. seeing their sexuality as something to profit from, generally speaking monetarily, more or less direct. 3. seeing sex as nothing more special than a physical pleasure, totally disconnecting sex from love. There can be quite an overlap between groups 2 and 3.

 

[Bingo-Player]

IMO this is a big misunderstanding, namely that it's OK for females to, euphemistically put, 'explore their sexuality' (hoe around) up until the age of 25. Then they can just snap their finger and magically transform into Snow White ready to meet her prince and start a family. Say what?!

Based on upbringing, environment, own preferences and ideas about life, by the time they're 14-15 girls self select into basically 3 groups 1. putting high value on their sexuality and expecting to find a good guy for marriage/children 2. seeing their sexuality as something to profit from, generally speaking monetarily, more or less direct. 3. seeing sex as nothing more special than a physical pleasure, totally disconnecting sex from love. There can be quite an overlap between groups 2 and 3.

Hasn't most of society now disconnected sex from love at this stage ?

I mean look the way society is these days most kids will have had some kind of sexual experience or encounter by the time they are 18 straight men can't do it with each other can they ?

I don't really buy into the whole men can bang as many as they want and have zero repercussions ..... if i could rewind the clock i would probably skip a whole load of my sexual encounters because they were so utterly underwhelming and pointless

I am also fairly confident if you took the sexual element ( aside from intent reproduction ) totally out of the equation i think people would be much happier and relationships would last a lot longer

Why do most relationships fail ? well 9/10 its usually because some has gotten a bit bored in bed and wants to spice things up a bit

Sex in general causes a lot of problems in society i can see now why religions forbid it outside of marriage

 

[pipeman84]

Hasn't most of society now disconnected sex from love at this stage ?

I don't think so, it may look like that because in the news, TV shows, movies we're exposed predominantly to women from groups 2 and 3.

I don't really buy into the whole men can bang as many as they want and have zero repercussions .....

Me neither, but there's clearly a difference between men and women.

Why do most relationships fail ? well 9/10 its usually because some has gotten a bit bored in bed and wants to spice things up a bit

IMO because they got together on wrong premises in the first place.

 

[HaleyBaron]

I didn't have sex till my late 20s, early 30s, so Im going into my "sex heavy" phase of life a bit late. Mostly because I was obsessed with my career and also knew little about game except from what I picked up from my surrounding male family. Then one day it clicked but I had to go through a rough break up first.

I was out this weekend and I was thinking of how many men are standing around and just staring at women. Some do go up to them and talk but then the girls pick up their glasses and leave elsewhere. Obviously a lot of guys come off too needy or obvious and you can see their amateur hour in how they are gaming. The women are all dressed up and ready to be dtf, but they only want the top, top dogs, like the tall muscled guy that walks in until they see he already has a woman with him. And women absolutely suck at game themselves. They'll be looking at a guy across the room but will never go over and talk to him. The conversations these girls have about wanting to **** so and so, but they don't have the courage to go and ask. It's amazing how similar women are to men when they suck at picking up the opposite sex.

Quite honestly, I cannot blame anyone for this. I only blame the current set up of society and how it restricts a lot of behavior. The bar game for example. A guy goes in. He wants some p*ssy. He sees some hot girls. He goes up to them, throws down his rap. They laugh then walk away. That guy feels rejected, and slows down cause he feels demotivated. This happens constantly. Here you are in this place to be social, and everyone around you is anything but.

One day @SW15 and I are going to meet up and go out on the town. And we'll both see all of this in action. He'll also get to see how girls react to me and he'll give his comment in the future [he may also push me to be more aggressive cause I dont pursue girls like I should with my looks. Im lazy].

 

[Stanley]

7-8 or so years ago i was pro hookup but i was early 20's and enjoyed having sex with pretty much anyone or anything
Now i am older and wiser i dont view it so positively i don't think its particularly healthy for a male or female after about age 25 to be indulging themselves into too many one night stands

I think a ons is a risky move frankly, but I think the sowing your wild oats phase is inherently different between each of the sexes. By 25 women often 'calm down' and reassess, they've been in their 'prime' for some years and change priorities the wall is real. Their sexual value begins to diminish and they move towards security. Whereas most guys in their teens and early 20s are invisible to attractive women. At 25 now most guys my age are just now getting into their 'hoe' phase as it were. They've had some time to get stronger, make money and hopefully already get their heart broken once and learned some game. If I go out to a club or nightlife setting the guys pulling the most seem to be late 20's early 30's consistently.

Hasn't most of society now disconnected sex from love at this stage ?
I mean look the way society is these days most kids will have had some kind of sexual experience or encounter by the time they are 18 straight men can't do it with each other can they ?

Media paints that picture, but I don't think so. Also, at least here in the U.S sex is becoming less common and male virginity is on the rise. It is a hard metric to measure, but most men here aren't having much of any sex. 1-3 U.S men under 30 had not had sex and that was a metric from pre pandemic...

I don't really buy into the whole men can bang as many as they want and have zero repercussions ..... if i could rewind the clock i would probably skip a whole load of my sexual encounters because they were so utterly underwhelming and pointless

Ok, what repercussions would there be? What correlations would be drawn from a man having lots of sex? The data points that a man can have numerous sexual partners which would have little affect on his ability to remain monogamous and pair bond. For women it is the inverse and the higher their count the 'worse' things get.

I am also fairly confident if you took the sexual element ( aside from intent reproduction ) totally out of the equation i think people would be much happier and relationships would last a lot longer

Why do most relationships fail ? well 9/10 its usually because some has gotten a bit bored in bed and wants to spice things up a bit

Maybe... but if there is one reason we know we exist it is to reproduce so moot point. And a hard disagree on why relationships fail being boredom in the bedroom. There are many other reasons why things don't work out, sex could be one of them though. You've got some interesting takes.

I think in general humans need to have a period of exploration sexually and romantically so they understand what they want and what they don't. It seems to go in phases and it depends on circumstance and timing. If you were a late bloomer or recently out of an ltr/marriage then one is likely to prioritize sexual flings or casual relationships, whereas if you were in a lengthy period of casual sex one is likely to eventually prioritize relationships, both are valid. I personally think hookup culture/dating apps have ruined dating and burgeoning relationships at large, but I simply stopped caring. The system is messed up so might as well take advantage of it and adapt around it.

 

[Bingo-Player]

The system is messed up so might as well take advantage of it and adapt around it.

I hear many people say this line

But if you eat too much tainted pie eventually it's gonna kill you right !?! metaphorically speaking

I see people everywhere that are dead inside like literally to the core because modern society has tainted them

Off topic but I am currently watching a documentary about the Kardashians these people to me are the root cause of many of todays problems from everything from consumerism to dating

I grew up in the 90's Sh1t was not like this back then

Something has got to be done.

 

[Stanley]

I hear many people say this line

But if you eat too much tainted pie eventually it's gonna kill you right !?! metaphorically speaking

I see people everywhere that are dead inside like literally to the core because modern society has tainted them

Off topic but I am currently watching a documentary about the Kardashians these people to me are the root cause of many of todays problems from everything from consumerism to dating

I grew up in the 90's Sh1t was not like this back then

Something has got to be done.

I agree brother, I was more or less playing devils advocate if that wasn't coming across. At large western society has collapsed and most people have the wool over their eyes. What's the documentary?

 

[SW15]

I was out this weekend and I was thinking of how many men are standing around and just staring at women. Some do go up to them and talk but then the girls pick up their glasses and leave elsewhere. Obviously a lot of guys come off too needy or obvious and you can see their amateur hour in how they are gaming. The women are all dressed up and ready to be dtf, but they only want the top, top dogs, like the tall muscled guy that walks in until they see he already has a woman with him. And women absolutely suck at game themselves. They'll be looking at a guy across the room but will never go over and talk to him. The conversations these girls have about wanting to **** so and so, but they don't have the courage to go and ask. It's amazing how similar women are to men when they suck at picking up the opposite sex.

That sounds like a lot of nightlife and a miserable experience.

I cannot blame anyone for this. I only blame the current set up of society and how it restricts a lot of behavior. The bar game for example. A guy goes in. He wants some p*ssy. He sees some hot girls. He goes up to them, throws down his rap. They laugh then walk away. That guy feels rejected, and slows down cause he feels demotivated. This happens constantly. Here you are in this place to be social, and everyone around you is anything but.

The rejections from failed approaches and failed app arranged first dates can be traumatizing. Those demotivation feelings are real.

One day @SW15 and I are going to meet up and go out on the town. And we'll both see all of this in action. He'll also get to see how girls react to me and he'll give his comment in the future [he may also push me to be more aggressive cause I dont pursue girls like I should with my looks. Im lazy].

If you're getting good ROIs, I would not fault you at all. If you're minimizing rejections and getting dates that lead to sex, then you're having success.

 

[Fortune_favors_the_bold]

The rejections from failed approaches and failed app arranged first dates can be traumatizing. Those demotivation feelings are real.

Solid concept, I would say that repeated experiences like those with no success or rewards are to men what being pumped and dumped is to women.

At some point many men lose the ability to invest or bond with women even if the solve the issue that prevented them to succeed.

 

[HaleyBaron]

I will like to add that pornography and decadence in men is also contributing. It's part of what we already discussed but very important. Boys and men are relieving themselves behind closed doors, so they lack the energy and motivation to pursue a woman for their sexual release. And because they lack it, they stay inside consuming more porn, bad food, and little exercise with video games and tv occupying their time. It becomes a cycle with little salvation.

 

[The Duke]

So what are the repercussions of a guy fuhking too many girls?

There are repercussions for a guy that doesn't fuhk any girls as well.

 

[Fortune_favors_the_bold]

So what are the repercussions of a guy fuhking too many girls?

There are repercussions for a guy that doesn't fuhk any girls as well.

I noticed my will/desire to commit or even put some work in it strongly decreased while my number increased.

You have anger and anxiety for those with low numbers while you have complacency for those with too high.

A guy with a low count would drive hours, book places and travel to meet a girl while one with a too high one wouldnt probably even make it quicker at the gym to meet her right after.

Both are wrong cause in the first case you cosume too much energy while the second one you risk to lose valuable women cause you're unwilling to put even a small effort.

 

[The Duke]

I was out this weekend and I was thinking of how many men are standing around and just staring at women. Some do go up to them and talk but then the girls pick up their glasses and leave elsewhere. Obviously a lot of guys come off too needy or obvious and you can see their amateur hour in how they are gaming. The women are all dressed up and ready to be dtf, but they only want the top, top dogs, like the tall muscled guy that walks in until they see he already has a woman with him. And women absolutely suck at game themselves. They'll be looking at a guy across the room but will never go over and talk to him. The conversations these girls have about wanting to **** so and so, but they don't have the courage to go and ask. It's amazing how similar women are to men when they suck at picking up the opposite sex.

Quite honestly, I cannot blame anyone for this. I only blame the current set up of society and how it restricts a lot of behavior. The bar game for example. A guy goes in. He wants some p*ssy. He sees some hot girls. He goes up to them, throws down his rap. They laugh then walk away. That guy feels rejected, and slows down cause he feels demotivated. This happens constantly. Here you are in this place to be social, and everyone around you is anything but.

Why would you ever put stock in what a bunch of strangers think of you? Not everyone is going to buy what you are selling and thats A-OK! Why take it personal? As good looking as you must be, your success rate must be 95% when you aren't feeling "lazy" as you call it. I call that something else.

And what do we call girls that approach guys as you have suggested? We call them wh0res and guys don't take wh0res seriously.

 

[pipeman84]

So what are the repercussions of a guy fuhking too many girls?

IMO, if one deals for too long with low quality women it will be hard to impossible to recognize and get into a relationship/have kids with a quality woman. On one hand he'll become resentful about women ( usual red pill stuff) and on the other hand, the approach and behavior used with those many girls he fvcked won't work on a clinically sane, family oriented woman.

 

[Modern Man Advice]

Jack Donovan calls it the Bonobo culture. It's a form of self-entertainment. We can now masturbate with another person's body. Sex is no longer a social bonding interaction with the underlying goal of community expansion and our own species' evolution.

It's why in some cases abortion is a break-free jail card from our own bad "grown-up" decisions.

 

[HaleyBaron]

Why would you ever put stock in what a bunch of strangers think of you? Not everyone is going to buy what you are selling and thats A-OK! Why take it personal? As good looking as you must be, your success rate must be 95% when you aren't feeling "lazy" as you call it. I call that something else.

And what do we call girls that approach guys as you have suggested? We call them wh0res and guys don't take wh0res seriously.

You misinterpreted most of my post. Which is becoming a trend.

 

[Kotaix]

Ultimately I think hookup culture is just plain bad for everyone. It provides nothing more than a cheap thrill for those involved, while at the same time both slowly ruining the quality of their personality and that of society as a whole.

Hookup culture is solipsistic and egotistical.

 

[HaleyBaron]

Ultimately I think hookup culture is just plain bad for everyone. It provides nothing more than a cheap thrill for those involved, while at the same time both slowly ruining the quality of their personality and that of society as a whole.

Hookup culture is solipsistic and egotistical.

The only reason I hate hookup culture is because it makes secretative sex less fun and less abundant. We got people literally lending out their wives and gfs these days. What happened to taking a random girl into a room during a wedding and ****ing her up against the door while your wife sits outside at the reception?

 

[Fortune_favors_the_bold]

The only reason I hate hookup culture is because it makes secretative sex less fun and less abundant. We got people literally lending out their wives and gfs these days. What happened to taking a random girl into a room during a wedding and ****ing her up against the door while your wife sits outside at the reception?

I dont know, maybe netflix removed that show?