What do you think about a woman discovering her fiancé really wanted her hot friend?

[MatureDJ]

www.slate.com/articles/life/dear_pr...ted_my_best_friend_will_i_get_over_this_.html

I met my fiancé at a house party. I was there with my best friend, who happens to be gorgeous. He began talking to us and kept talking to me after my best friend left. We made plans to hang out later, and over the next three months our friendship evolved into a wonderful relationship. Recently my fiancé and his good friend had a falling out, and in an act of spite his friend forwarded me a series of emails from around the time we first met. By reading them I learned that, initially, my fiancé only spent time with me because he wanted to have a shot with my best friend. He called me plain, repetitive, and mildly annoying. I know those aren't harsh criticisms, and that they come from the first few days of our friendship. But I'm still upset, because those are my worst fears about myself, and it hurts to know that the person I'm marrying thought those things about me too. My fiancé couldn't be more apologetic, and he's been very sweet and reassuring to me since I received the emails. (He didn't say those things out of hand, they were answers when his friend asked him about me.) I know he loves me so much. I still can't put those emails out of my mind, though—what can I do to get back to being a happy bride-to-be?

 

[Robert28]

her worst fears about herself were that she was mildly annoying? what?hahaha "oh no! I might be mildly annoying! what shall I ever do???". Answer: stop being annoying.

 

[Love's Orphan]

What a great friend the guy has...

 

[Findog]

It's understandable she's upset, but it shouldn't derail an otherwise good relationship. She needs to get over it.

 

[DJDamage]

Welcome to reality sweetcheeks.

Almost every person that gets married out there, is married to someone who wasn't their first choice. (That is often true for women who end up marrying the beta provider instead of the Alpha player).

Just be glad you were at the right place at the right time because your man could have done better then you.

 

[Rollo Tomassi]

So much for women claiming to appreciate and respect honesty from a man.

As I've always said, women claim to want truthfulness, but they NEVER want full disclosure.

 

[Who Dares Win]

So much for women claiming to appreciate and respect honesty from a man.

As I've always said, women claim to want truthfulness, but they NEVER want full disclosure.

Hey Rollo great work on your blog, I was wondering if in future you could analize in detail the relationship existing between two who are not engaged yet and are somehow too much for being friends and not enough for being lovers.

The dynamics of that explained in the same way you explained many others would be really helpful to young lads who upgrade from betaness but still are not "in" in alphadom.

I tried ask about this to both competent friends and this board but it seems something uncommon yet.
ex: http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=194929

 

[The Duke]

So much for women claiming to appreciate and respect honesty from a man.

As I've always said, women claim to want truthfulness, but they NEVER want full disclosure.

Most who claim they respect honesty can never take it when they do get it and that goes for men too. I always thought the world would be full of less bs and more people could get what they wanted out of life if folks would just be straight up and stop pretending. Let the chips fall where they do. Move on if you can't take it.

 

[speed dawg]

Man, Prudie actually had a pretty good answer for this one. Amazing.

Question is, where is the gorgeous best friend now? Did her fiance actually pursue her and get shot down, or did he actually choose this girl? Hmmm.

 

[Jitterbug]

So much for women claiming to appreciate and respect honesty from a man.

As I've always said, women claim to want truthfulness, but they NEVER want full disclosure.

Whenever a woman asks me to be honest (implied or otherwise), I run this line through my head first:

"Anything you say can and *will* be used against you. You have the rights to remain silence."