This is a post I did for another forum, and I think it'll help you out a ton.
The Transition
In pick-up the most common area of difficulty that I read about is transitioning. In the early stages of our pick-up careers, we learn how to open a set with ease and grace, but after that point, we have no idea what we should be doing. How should one transition from talking about magic spells to establishing a higher value with the set?
There are a couple of different things we need to talk about before getting into the specifics: stacking, rethreading, and locking in.
Stacking is the term we use for running multiple routines at one time. You can, in theory, run fifty different routines simultaneously, but you would quickly forget where you were in each. Normally when we’re stacking, we only run two or three routines at once.
Rethreading refers to replacing a routine with another, different routine. Most of the time, this is how opening works; you spit an opener, then you spit another one, then you change the subject to a game, then you tell a DHV story. Each instance of “then” in the previous sentence indicates a rethread.
Locking in is one of the most powerful tools of pick-up. It is how you become a part of the set, as opposed to an outside influence. When you lock in, you situate yourself so that you have become the center of attention. Rather than stand outside of the set, you are leaning against the bar with the set surrounding you.
These three things, working together, create your transition toolbox. When you open a set, be ready to stack your openers, rethread them when they die, while maneuvering a lock-in. Sound difficult? Well, sometimes it is. In the interest of small-chunking, let’s work on each of these skills as an individual, and then see how they’ll work as a whole.
Stacking:
Your openers should all be rooted. If they are not rooted, find some better openers. For the moment, let’s use some pre-made openers: Magic Spells, Guys Wearing Make-up and the Do I Look Gay to You Openers.
You begin the set with the Magic Spells opener.
You: Hey guys, do you believe magic spells work?
Them: Yes/no/maybe.
You: The reason I’m asking is, my brother, gayest boy in the parade, he was working at this construction site. And every day, these girls would walk past and check him out, and that’s no big deal. But this one girl tells him “I put a spell on you.”
At this point, you should have the sets attention. Here, we start in on the second opener.
You: By the way, is it cool for a dude to wear make-up? I’ve got this friend who thinks that wearing make-up helps him pick-up chicks. My brother thinks it makes him look gay. And he should know, right?
Them: Yes/no/whatever
You: Well what should I tell him? I mean, I don’t want him to get his ass kicked, but at the same time I don’t want to squash his individuality…
Them: Whatever
Here you can take one of two paths. You can segue into the third opener, as so:
You: You know what? You guys seem cool, so I feel comfortable asking you this: do I seem gay to you?
Them: Yes/no/whatever.
You: Because this guy was totally hitting on me on the other side of the bar.
Or you can go back to your first opener, as so:
You: So anyway, this chick is all like “I put a spell on you,” and my brother freaked right out. He went to bed that night, couldn’t stop thinking about her. Woke up the next day, couldn’t stop thinking about her.
The trick to stacking well is that you have to keep doing it. You have to reference old conversation threads while starting new ones. When a conversation thread dies, you either replace it (re-threading) or you converge to a single thread of conversation for a while, before introducing another stack.
Rethreading:
Rethreading is a lot like stacking in a lot of ways. The key difference between the two is your intent to return to previous topics of conversation. When you stack routines, you are putting one routine on top of another, referencing both through the scope of the conversation. Rethreading occurs when one thread of conversation dies, and another begins. It is preferable that you killed said topic of conversation, rather than let it run itself into the ground; it’s much more comfortable for all parties involved in the conversation.
A typical rethread is accomplished through segues. A segue is when you change the topic to a related topic, or change the topic through relating something unrelated to the topic (typically through emotionally contextual points of relation). As an example:
Her: I love scuba diving. It’s so much fun and so scary at the same time.
You: I feel exactly the same way about skiing. My feet are useless unless they’re strapped to boards. Hey. Can you dance? You should teach me how to dance…
The most common segues:
• Hey, speaking of X, what do you think about Y?
• Oh my god! <Nearly anything can come after this…>
• I feel exactly the same way about X.
• By the way, what do you think about Y?
Locking In:
I cannot stress the importance of locking in enough. When you are locked into a set, you stop being the creepy guy that’s hitting on the girls and start being That Guy We Met at the Club.
The difficult part about writing an essay like this is that I only have so much space. Locking in should be an essay all by itself. The basics are this: you need to be in the center of the group. If that means you need to pick one of the girls up and move her so that you can steal her seat, do just that. Then make a funny joke about how you just stole her seat.
Locking in allows you to move from stacking and rethreading into actual conversational threads. You can talk about things that have nothing to do with their opinions. You can begin to move into relate-reward cycles, teasing cycles, fun games and eventually isolation. All of this is way beyond your level if you’re still looking to transition properly, but if you begin to set it up now, you’ll have a strong base from which to build the rest of your repertoire.
How it All Works:
Instead of writing up an elaborate script that will never actually work in the field (none of those cute little scripts ever really go the way they’re supposed to; not even the best laid plans survive contact with the enemy), I will instead provide you a short map. Change the order of the steps however best suits your particular situation at the time.
Step One: Approach and Open
Step Two: Get the group’s full attention.
Step Three: Change the subject.
Step Four: Lock in.
Step Five: Return to original subject, finish current subject, or move on to third subject.
Step Six: First subject dies; replace it.
Continue.
The Biggest Secret:
The easiest way to transition is to not transition at all. Juggler suggests moving from topic to topic with no warning. Whenever one topic of conversation seems to be dying out, replace it immediately, without warning or preamble. “As soon as you know the topic is going to stall out ,” he says, “… just pick it up and move it to another topic which is fresh and hopefully, a lot different from the last.”
Personally, I switch. I’ll go from using planned transitions to cold subject changes as the mood suits me. Mostly, it is to keep the conversation interesting and dynamic; I even do this when I’m not involved in a pick-up attempt. Transitioning has become an invaluable tool for me in every aspect of my life. When you master it, you will notice you’ve always done it, you just never realized what it was.
