henrymiller50
Don Juan
- Joined
- Aug 28, 2023
- Messages
- 10
- Reaction score
- 5
Need help interpreting my GF behavior. A little background, we have been dating for 3 years, living together for about a year. We have a great relationship but she does weird things from time to time that make me anxious/suspicious. But can't prove any infidelity. Not even close. She is pretty trustworthy and does what she says she is doing. Just weird things like this every once and awhile. She is amazing to me and and we have so many things in common. Some of the weird things she does could be explained by the fact she's a little autistic (my diagnosis, but pretty spot on) and sometimes lacks emotional/social intelligence. Here is the latest. Is her explanation possible? A little background....We both work from home. We eat lunch together. I know where she is during the day and evenings we are always together including weekends. She does what she says and is pretty much a homebody like me. She's attractive and in shape. I'm in good shape and attractive for my age. She's pretty down to earth and trustworthy. She has a couple good girlfriends that she either has over once a month or meets them out for lunch. I mostly trust her. She is super into me and is not the flirtatious type.
But then this incident happened last week.
A month ago, a good girlfriend of hers asked her to go to her daughters high school picture photo shoot to occur last Thursday night at 6pm. It was to be held somewhere outside by a lake. Just the 3 of them with the photographer. So I fully expected her to get a bit fixed up for that. Again she was planning on leaving for that at 6pm. Also she did have another girlfriend of hers stopping over at 4pm that day to drop off some old home movies to her. But she just planned on dropping old movies off and saying hello for a minute and then leaving (which she did).
Also on that same Thursday, I had a contractor scheduled at 3pm to come out first time and look at a few things on our deck that need repair (I told her about the appointment a couple days prior to Thursday). So appt with contracter is 3 hours before she is set to leave for the photo shoot with her friend at 6pm (again the photo shoot is for the daughter, not my GF. but was fully expecting her to get a little fixed up for it). Btw she was not working that day. Just home getting things done.
Strange thing, whenever these contractor guys come over, she wants to come out and talk to them with me (I still don't understand why. most women are happy to let the guy take care of it. But I give her the benefit of the doubt. She is a little Tomboyish and maybe just wants to be involved in the process? Who knows.). So I'm in my upstairs office working from about noon to 2:55pm. I come downstairs at 2:55pm to go out and meet this new contractor. Never met him before. She found his contact online somewhere and sent it to me to set up an appt months ago. So I walk downstairs at 2:55pm and boom, I smell major essential oils (like perfume). I knew exactly what that was. She puts it on herself. It's wafting through the whole main floor of our house. As I'm a little stunned thinking WTF, she comes from out of the kitchen towards me and I immediately notice she is fully dressed up; Make up, Lipstick, Her nice necklace that she only wears on occasion, Nice blouse that she only wears on occasions. Nice skirt etc. I'm like blown away thinking why in the heck would she get all dressed up and ready at 3pm? My thinking is it was clear that it was no coincidence that she was all dolled up early right before this contractor is coming to our house (although to my knowledge she has never met him before and has no idea who he is) and she will be talking to him. I could somewhat understand her showering and doing her hair early but she could have at least waited to put the makeup, lipstick and necklace on before she leaves. He shows up and I say "oh he's here I'm going to talk to him". And of course she says "I'm coming right out!". So the three of us are out on the deck discussing the project. My GF is fully involved, showing him what she'd like done, getting his opinion etc. She is not flirting with him just listening, explaining etc. So he finally leaves. After he leaves I'm still thinking the worst (that she put all that on to flirt with him or get him interested etc). At the least I'm super confused why she got all dressed up at that time. I have to ask her.
I ask her why she got all dressed up for this guy? Of course, she tells my I'm crazy. She says she just got ready for the 6pm thing and wanted to be all ready. blah blah blah. HOW could I think it was for any other intention, she says. I try to explain that logically it makes no sense to me. Why would you be in full makeup and skirt and blouse and all this for this 3pm appt with the contractor? Again, she treats me like I'm insane and says she cannot even begin to understand how I would think that. She can't believe I'd think there is some other intention. It has nothing to do with him it was just a coincidence because she is going to the photo shoot later and she wanted to be ready for us (her and I) in the afternoon to hang out etc etc. She goes on...I don't have a bone in my body that could do anything deceptive to you etc etc. She is super convincing but my logic tells me it could have other flirting intentions. I feel like I'm getting gaslighted. Like I'm telling her I'm seeing the sky and it's blue and she tells me that not what I'm seeing, the sky is purple. I'm really confused.
I always give her the benefit of the doubt because of her slight autism but I just can't believe she is that clueless. That she wouldn't be aware that might arouse suspicion in me. For the life of me, I don't know what she is doing or what her intention is but it's odd to me. Most women would just stay away from that and certainly wouldn't plan their day around being ready in full make up and clothes when this contractor comes over. Could she be telling the truth about her intentions? Could this odd behavior just be part of the autism? Is there any other logical explanation than her doing it for him?
But then this incident happened last week.
A month ago, a good girlfriend of hers asked her to go to her daughters high school picture photo shoot to occur last Thursday night at 6pm. It was to be held somewhere outside by a lake. Just the 3 of them with the photographer. So I fully expected her to get a bit fixed up for that. Again she was planning on leaving for that at 6pm. Also she did have another girlfriend of hers stopping over at 4pm that day to drop off some old home movies to her. But she just planned on dropping old movies off and saying hello for a minute and then leaving (which she did).
Also on that same Thursday, I had a contractor scheduled at 3pm to come out first time and look at a few things on our deck that need repair (I told her about the appointment a couple days prior to Thursday). So appt with contracter is 3 hours before she is set to leave for the photo shoot with her friend at 6pm (again the photo shoot is for the daughter, not my GF. but was fully expecting her to get a little fixed up for it). Btw she was not working that day. Just home getting things done.
Strange thing, whenever these contractor guys come over, she wants to come out and talk to them with me (I still don't understand why. most women are happy to let the guy take care of it. But I give her the benefit of the doubt. She is a little Tomboyish and maybe just wants to be involved in the process? Who knows.). So I'm in my upstairs office working from about noon to 2:55pm. I come downstairs at 2:55pm to go out and meet this new contractor. Never met him before. She found his contact online somewhere and sent it to me to set up an appt months ago. So I walk downstairs at 2:55pm and boom, I smell major essential oils (like perfume). I knew exactly what that was. She puts it on herself. It's wafting through the whole main floor of our house. As I'm a little stunned thinking WTF, she comes from out of the kitchen towards me and I immediately notice she is fully dressed up; Make up, Lipstick, Her nice necklace that she only wears on occasion, Nice blouse that she only wears on occasions. Nice skirt etc. I'm like blown away thinking why in the heck would she get all dressed up and ready at 3pm? My thinking is it was clear that it was no coincidence that she was all dolled up early right before this contractor is coming to our house (although to my knowledge she has never met him before and has no idea who he is) and she will be talking to him. I could somewhat understand her showering and doing her hair early but she could have at least waited to put the makeup, lipstick and necklace on before she leaves. He shows up and I say "oh he's here I'm going to talk to him". And of course she says "I'm coming right out!". So the three of us are out on the deck discussing the project. My GF is fully involved, showing him what she'd like done, getting his opinion etc. She is not flirting with him just listening, explaining etc. So he finally leaves. After he leaves I'm still thinking the worst (that she put all that on to flirt with him or get him interested etc). At the least I'm super confused why she got all dressed up at that time. I have to ask her.
I ask her why she got all dressed up for this guy? Of course, she tells my I'm crazy. She says she just got ready for the 6pm thing and wanted to be all ready. blah blah blah. HOW could I think it was for any other intention, she says. I try to explain that logically it makes no sense to me. Why would you be in full makeup and skirt and blouse and all this for this 3pm appt with the contractor? Again, she treats me like I'm insane and says she cannot even begin to understand how I would think that. She can't believe I'd think there is some other intention. It has nothing to do with him it was just a coincidence because she is going to the photo shoot later and she wanted to be ready for us (her and I) in the afternoon to hang out etc etc. She goes on...I don't have a bone in my body that could do anything deceptive to you etc etc. She is super convincing but my logic tells me it could have other flirting intentions. I feel like I'm getting gaslighted. Like I'm telling her I'm seeing the sky and it's blue and she tells me that not what I'm seeing, the sky is purple. I'm really confused.
I always give her the benefit of the doubt because of her slight autism but I just can't believe she is that clueless. That she wouldn't be aware that might arouse suspicion in me. For the life of me, I don't know what she is doing or what her intention is but it's odd to me. Most women would just stay away from that and certainly wouldn't plan their day around being ready in full make up and clothes when this contractor comes over. Could she be telling the truth about her intentions? Could this odd behavior just be part of the autism? Is there any other logical explanation than her doing it for him?
