So I met this girl one night around town and got her number she seemed real interested..I just met up with her last night and we went for a walk and ended up chillin at her place outside for about an hour and just talking joking around with eachother and from the vibe I got we were both enjoying eachothers company...plus it was the first time hanging with her so ofcourse we were both feeling eachother out.. I was a little shy but still had balls and was joking with her and she was jokin back with me etc..last night she was talking about chillin tonight.. so I texted her tonight and she said she was just chillin at home and didnt know what she was doin for the night..so I said we should get a drink and chill..she said ok ill def let you know if I go out and that was it??? WTF last night we were having what I thought was a good time and I can usually tell if a girl is feeling me and now the next night its like she doesnt care?? should I pursue her this weekend or just say on to the next one?? consider she is pretty cute and I was kinda diggin her and I thought she was feelin me so im confused??
what do you guys think should I keep pursuing?
- Thread starter hustler69
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Evil_Muska
Don Juan
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- Feb 16, 2010
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Whoa whoa whoa.... slow down there buddy.
Your overreacting BIG TIME.
So you've known this girl for 2 days and suddenly her not texting you back one time is coming as a shock to you?
Chill.
You don't know why she didn't text you back right?
So you don't know if it was because she was ignoring you or just something else, right?
You gotta understand that she prolly has more important things going in her life than you at the current moment. There are untold amounts of situations that could have popped up that could have kept her from txting you back... HUNDREDS.
You need to lean back and enjoy the ride. Don't seem so needy.
You wunna know how long it took me to text the girl I'm dating right now after getting her number? 5 whole days (although my situation is different than others), and she's all over me right now.
If you come on too strong and overreact, she's gunna run.
give it more than 2 days before your worrying about her interest level.
Your overreacting BIG TIME.
So you've known this girl for 2 days and suddenly her not texting you back one time is coming as a shock to you?
Chill.
You don't know why she didn't text you back right?
So you don't know if it was because she was ignoring you or just something else, right?
You gotta understand that she prolly has more important things going in her life than you at the current moment. There are untold amounts of situations that could have popped up that could have kept her from txting you back... HUNDREDS.
You need to lean back and enjoy the ride. Don't seem so needy.
You wunna know how long it took me to text the girl I'm dating right now after getting her number? 5 whole days (although my situation is different than others), and she's all over me right now.
If you come on too strong and overreact, she's gunna run.
give it more than 2 days before your worrying about her interest level.
Some of the guys on here will break your post down line by line and tell you what you did wrong and how to fix it step by step.....
I'll do the "breif".....
Too much time Friending around...should have kept it shorter....should have been more sexual....not enough movement towards closing the deal ....
Plus trying for a next day repeat shows her you have nothing going on in your life....
So she now knows she has you hooked and you have nothing else.....
Sooooo.....
Soon your time with her will be spent writing poetry and watching chick flics as she friend zones you and turns you into an enslaved orbiter...
It sounds like you need to hit the bible and the archives.....
Follow the NEWB line on my signature....
Over and Out.
I'll do the "breif".....
Too much time Friending around...should have kept it shorter....should have been more sexual....not enough movement towards closing the deal ....
Plus trying for a next day repeat shows her you have nothing going on in your life....
So she now knows she has you hooked and you have nothing else.....
Sooooo.....
Soon your time with her will be spent writing poetry and watching chick flics as she friend zones you and turns you into an enslaved orbiter...
It sounds like you need to hit the bible and the archives.....
Follow the NEWB line on my signature....
Over and Out.
Evil Muska: Im kinda following you..idk maybe shes playin hard to get? so your sayin she still could be interested? how long should I wait then to contact her again?
Boomerick: not really following you..too much friending around? just met this girl and I did throw some sexual vibes out but im not gonna come off as a creep the first time..and trying to chill the next day and get a drink at night is needy? idk about that, thats usually how relationships start.
Boomerick: not really following you..too much friending around? just met this girl and I did throw some sexual vibes out but im not gonna come off as a creep the first time..and trying to chill the next day and get a drink at night is needy? idk about that, thats usually how relationships start.
Kailex
Master Don Juan
hustler, don't ask for advice if you're going to immediately try to find flaws in what people are saying to you. Boomerick made a very valid point.
If you knew what you were doing, would this post exist?
So please, don't be so quick as to discredit other people's advice.
Okay, so as far as the OP is concerned, you were friending around too much.
I would ask why, but I know why... yes, you had the comfort going and the rapport, but no attraction. At no point did you mention kino, at no point did you mention ANYTHING else other than "joking around" and "enjoying each other". Guess what, I do that with co-workers.
If she said that she wanted to chill with you on the following night and then when you texted (BTW, WHY TEXTING, grief.....) to go out, she pretty much put you off... then you definitely did SOMETHING wrong.
#1: Gave too much of a friend vibe
#2: Came across as too available/needy.
GUARANTEED it's one of those 2 with an additional:
#3: She found someone better to go out with.
If I go out with someone on a Wednesday, I'm not there to go out with them on Thursday too, specially NOT in the beginning. The only way I'd see said girl on Thursday is if I am kicking her out of my apartment in the morning.
If you go out with a girl on Wednesday and she says she wants to see you on Thursday, you say you are busy, and then you offer up Friday, or Sunday, or some other day.
That's what boomerick meant, and as far as I can see, he's spot on.
If you knew what you were doing, would this post exist?
So please, don't be so quick as to discredit other people's advice.
Okay, so as far as the OP is concerned, you were friending around too much.
So you went to her place, but you stayed outside?
I would ask why, but I know why... yes, you had the comfort going and the rapport, but no attraction. At no point did you mention kino, at no point did you mention ANYTHING else other than "joking around" and "enjoying each other". Guess what, I do that with co-workers.
If she said that she wanted to chill with you on the following night and then when you texted (BTW, WHY TEXTING, grief.....) to go out, she pretty much put you off... then you definitely did SOMETHING wrong.
#1: Gave too much of a friend vibe
#2: Came across as too available/needy.
GUARANTEED it's one of those 2 with an additional:
#3: She found someone better to go out with.
If I go out with someone on a Wednesday, I'm not there to go out with them on Thursday too, specially NOT in the beginning. The only way I'd see said girl on Thursday is if I am kicking her out of my apartment in the morning.
If you go out with a girl on Wednesday and she says she wants to see you on Thursday, you say you are busy, and then you offer up Friday, or Sunday, or some other day.
That's what boomerick meant, and as far as I can see, he's spot on.
Kailex: I see what your sayin, prolly right, but I dont think it was that bad thats why I wanted to chill again so I could make my move after feelin more comfortable..the first time I meet people im usually feelin them out not jumpin their bones haha..but yea you think Im done with this chick? or keep at it?
A girl playing hard to get after you text her 2 days in a row. Shocker!
Chill out, play it cool and wait a few days next time. You dont wana seem desperate after the first date, you are a super fly player with many girls on the go remember?
Its ok if you dont make a move on the first date.
Chill out, play it cool and wait a few days next time. You dont wana seem desperate after the first date, you are a super fly player with many girls on the go remember?
Its ok if you dont make a move on the first date.
Cockynfunny
Don Juan
dude why don't you chill with your friends and have FUN with girls?
wait and see, if she never replies, find someone else
wait and see, if she never replies, find someone else
Kailex
Master Don Juan
Call her up another day. NOT today.
BTW, yes, I said CALL.
Just wait a few days and give her a call and that way, you'll truly find out what's up with her or not. Just enjoy your weekend with your friends, but leave her alone for a few. If she's into you, she'll wonder where you are and why you haven't contacted her and it shows her that you aren't available all the time.
If you see her tonight, it should be strictly because you bumped into her, not because you planned it.
If that happens, she'll see that you have options, that you have friends, that you do other things NOT involving her.
There's nothing wrong with trying one more time, but definitely NOT this weekend.
And stop the texting crap. That's for women.
I'll say it again, I know a lot of guys set up dates by text, but personally, I never do it unless I have a certain comfort level with a woman that I can just skip the phone call. But you aren't at that point and it doesn't seem you are too confident to pull it off.
Set it up with phone calls for now.
It's because of the texts that you have this thread in the first place.
BTW, yes, I said CALL.
Just wait a few days and give her a call and that way, you'll truly find out what's up with her or not. Just enjoy your weekend with your friends, but leave her alone for a few. If she's into you, she'll wonder where you are and why you haven't contacted her and it shows her that you aren't available all the time.
If you see her tonight, it should be strictly because you bumped into her, not because you planned it.
If that happens, she'll see that you have options, that you have friends, that you do other things NOT involving her.
There's nothing wrong with trying one more time, but definitely NOT this weekend.
And stop the texting crap. That's for women.
I'll say it again, I know a lot of guys set up dates by text, but personally, I never do it unless I have a certain comfort level with a woman that I can just skip the phone call. But you aren't at that point and it doesn't seem you are too confident to pull it off.
Set it up with phone calls for now.
It's because of the texts that you have this thread in the first place.
Iceberg
Master Don Juan
hustler69 said:
No. It's not. Unless it's between two needy, desperate, relationship-obsessed people.
You don't go out on a first date with a girl and then try follow up with a second date the night after. That's always a bad move. It's a classically bad move. That's the move made by the nerdy character in a bad movie.
Should you follow up with her? Sure why not? It can't hurt. But come on, man. There's nothing less attractive about a person (male or female) than always being available. You think it's how relationships start....well let me tell you...not the healthy ones.
At the bottom of this very page is an underlined blue link -- The DJ Bible. (scroll down all the way)
Click on it and on the new screen that apears find the Book of POOK. (sounds foolish doesn't it?)
Open up the file and read it. (Yes, the whole thing. It's worth it trust me.)
I know it's over 200 pages and might take some time, but you seem to have plenty. (you can find 4 or 5 hours through next week to spend on making yourself better)
Consider it an investment in your self AND a beginning.....
A beginning of a new, more in control, less confused by women, (probably laid more often too )......YOU!
Over and Out.
EDIT --- When you finish with Pook try reading other stuff in there. You will be stupid surprised how well all this stuff works.
Click on it and on the new screen that apears find the Book of POOK. (sounds foolish doesn't it?)
Open up the file and read it. (Yes, the whole thing. It's worth it trust me.)
I know it's over 200 pages and might take some time, but you seem to have plenty. (you can find 4 or 5 hours through next week to spend on making yourself better)
Consider it an investment in your self AND a beginning.....
A beginning of a new, more in control, less confused by women, (probably laid more often too )......YOU!
Over and Out.
EDIT --- When you finish with Pook try reading other stuff in there. You will be stupid surprised how well all this stuff works.
You should of made a move while you all were outside or anytime for that matter, because what you described on your post, it was more of "friend" behavior and when you make a move you're not considered a friend or a wussbag.. With all these needy wussbag men nowadays women KNOW they can easily move on to another guy if one guy didn't catch their interest enough. Don't give up just yet though.. If your lucky you may just have another chance, but remember you should be the one DHV, act as if you're the prize.
In the meantime you should be going out and getting other numbers. Like they said in the previous posts call her some other time, unless she contacts you beforehand, if she does not respond to your call or dosn't contact you then yes stop pursuing her. Just stop overanalyzing and go out and get more numbers/spin plates....Also get some hobbies or something to occupy your time.. don't be all that available, because it is a major turnoff to women, and you'll never have them wondering what you're doing..Which is why we're all saying to call her but not right away, make her wonder what you may be doing..And do this with every woman from now on, embed it into your brain
In the meantime you should be going out and getting other numbers. Like they said in the previous posts call her some other time, unless she contacts you beforehand, if she does not respond to your call or dosn't contact you then yes stop pursuing her. Just stop overanalyzing and go out and get more numbers/spin plates....Also get some hobbies or something to occupy your time.. don't be all that available, because it is a major turnoff to women, and you'll never have them wondering what you're doing..Which is why we're all saying to call her but not right away, make her wonder what you may be doing..And do this with every woman from now on, embed it into your brain