What do you guys think about this?

[mr interesting]

This is my first post, but i've been reading the forum for months now. There is some amazing and inspiring advice from guys who really now what they're talking about.

Ok so here's my little situation. Ive been talking to this girl at my job for 9 months. Everything was cool, we were texting everyday, hanging out all the time, and all that good stuff. Then I went overseas on vacation. We emailed each other everyday, saying how we loved each other, how we couldnt wait to see each other, and how bad we missed/thought about each other.

Well when i get back from vacation she seems like a totally different girl. Instead of being really sweet and texting me throughout the whole day like she usually would, she just acted really distant : /

Like for the past few weeks we barely talk. I ask her whats wrong but she says nothings wrong. She claims that she is still in love with me but im having my doubts now.

So this girl basically went from really happy to see me to just being cold. I think my AFC ways were what killed it. I would pick her up from work, buy her nice things, basically go completely out of my way for her. Now i feel like she doesnt give a **** anymore. But it could just be all in my mind.

Im kinda confused about the situation. I know im gonna get alot of "just NEXT her!" but i wanna know your guys' input. Any advice and opinions are really appreciated.

 

[ARrocket]

Everything was cool, we were texting everyday, hanging out all the time, and all that good stuff. Then I went overseas on vacation. We emailed each other everyday, saying how we loved each other, how we couldnt wait to see each other, and how bad we missed/thought about each other....


....I think my AFC ways were what killed it.

Correct. Your VERY AFC ways. WAY too much contact with her. You know anything about economics? Think of it this way...your supply is WAY too high, and the demand is not even close.

You need to pull back. WAY back. Give her the gift of missing you a little. Stop calling her every day. Stop seeing her too much. Involve yourself with OTHER people and activities.

Are you two dating exclusively? Because it almost sounds as if there's another guy in the picture. Spin some plates...that solves like 96% of the problems around there

 

[L B]

Work and love? In general a no no..

Buying nice things, picking up from work, and even going out of your way? Calling, texting, and emailing everyday? Wow....this needs to be stop, now!

I think the main thing is that while you're on vacation, she probably realized that you're too much for her or even better...found someone that fits her needs better.

When interest level swing so drastically from one end to the other, it's time to move on. She will most likely not tell you about it and will give you drama or the cold shoulder until you get a clue and move on.

 

[CarlitosWay]

All I saw was a whole bunch about just "talking". Swear OP's post screams troll. If true, that relationship is a joke. You got used, she got bored and she moved on. Sounds like you haven't even kissed or slept with her.

 

[Wilko]

Hmm, been there, done that, i.e. went o'seas for work, made an effort to keep the home fires burning, came back to a cold, distant g/f. I confronted her about it, she broke down, admitted she'd been acting like a b!tch and then went right back to acting like a bratty child. Lol, I was so eager to dump her but I held out until after her birthday two weeks later, I'm not that heartless, well, I wasn't at the time anyway. She took it hard for someone who was supposedly so disinterested in me.

I probably throw the term around too much but what you're experiencing is textbook stuff.

1) Yes, as you already identified you were way too AFC.

2) Hollywood re-unions are total BS, girls will overwhelmingly give you the cold shoulder if you've returned from o'seas without them. It's their way of punishing you for leaving them behind, for pursuing your own goals instead of hers.

3) Trust her actions, not her words. She says nothing is wrong, says she still loves you, probably said she just needs more time too?. Judge her on her actions, act accordingly.

 

[Joe Stud]

I smell another man in her life...

 

[Ease]

Sudden unexplained drops in interest level mean another guy, almost every time.

She either started flirting with another guy, or already cheated with him.

But the problem really is that a girl sometimes waits until the appearance of this 'other guy', before she can properly show her disinterest. You missed the subtle signs for 9 months, but she's being very honest about what she thinks of you now.

 

[mr interesting]

wow so all you guys pretty much agree that shes talking to someone else? So Should i confront her about it? Or should i just say fuvk it and just completely move on?

 

[Wilko]

Could be jumping the gun to assume there's another man (don't rule it out though) there wasn't in my particular circumstance and it marries up very well with what you're describing.

I think it might be time for a "shape up or ship out" ultimatum, you tell her to start acting like a girlfriend or kiss your ass goodbye. It only works if you're prepared to walk, you need to have that iron resolve to make it effective. It's the sudden display of balls that she'll respond to, but you'll you'll have to be consistent afterwards, you can't cave an inch.

 

[SandHawk]

I'd just move on. I've been in your shoes in the past, and it's incredibly difficult to just move on. You're looking for ways where you justify yourself staying with her, aren't you?

You probably are, and so did I in the past. And you know what it was that got me? A broken heart that was invested in a girl that was absolutely not worth my time and attention. A girl that lied and cheated while I was abroad on one of my many travels and continued to lie when I came home. The question here is: Do you see yourself be with a girl that acts like this and do you accept that she is acting like this?

If the answer is no, then the solution is very simple: Move on.

 

[Captain]

Ive been talking to this girl at my job for 9 months.

Problem 1. The longer you leave things, the less likely you are to fvck a girl (unless you've really got your sh!t together.)

Everything was cool, we were texting everyday

,
Oxymoron here. Don't text everyday.

hanging out all the time

Give her the gift of MISSING YOU. Too much time together will suck out attraction (again, unless you have yourself REALLY together.)

Then I went overseas on vacation. We emailed each other everyday, saying how we loved each other, how we couldnt wait to see each other, and how bad we missed/thought about each other.

Too much attention!

Well when i get back from vacation she seems like a totally different girl. Instead of being really sweet and texting me throughout the whole day like she usually would, she just acted really distant : /

She's bored with you.

Like for the past few weeks we barely talk. I ask her whats wrong but she says nothings wrong. She claims that she is still in love with me but im having my doubts now.

OK... is this girl even your girlfriend? Fvck buddy? What is she? Have you kissed? Touched at all?

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