What do you do when you know with certainty that you are an orbiter to her?

[ColonelKilgore]

You are going after a girl/woman and you've come to a realisation that you are an orbiter to her. It's pretty clear, she likes your attention, she may go out with you, but she has someone who is a better prospect in her eyes. What do you guys do in that situation?

My natural instinct is to go ****ier, more aggresive (there were times i even ended up being rude, not every time). My philosophy was better to end communication with me being an as.shole than me being a nice guy. Is my behavior alpha or beta?

 

[Zapp Brannigan]

As Mauser96 said delete her from your phone and social media. You should also read the DJ Bible if you haven't already. I know "read the DJ Bible" is said often across this forum, but it'll help your confidence and self-worth immensely.

DO NOT go out of your way to talk to her ever again. If you talk to her at all, let her come to you, and even then play it mysteriously. Show that you deserve more respect than to be used for validation/ego boost. If there's a girl you're interested in hit on her to where the other girl can see, this will put a bullet through her ego.

Also if she ever tries any s**t tests on you, always decline them. NEVER give into her like that. She rudely asks for you to go out of your way for her, don't do it. She drops something and expects you to pick it up, don't do it.

I was in a similar spot, and it feels great to be free from an attention seeker like that. Especially feels good to decline a s**t test, and see the confused ego shattered look on their face afterward. Best of luck. You deserve better.

 

[Starwolf]

Delete her number
Delete her from all social media
Read about Anti-Dump's machine.

OP I was in the same situation and I followed the exact same advice above.

but she initiated contact after a few months. I foolishly took it for genuine interests only to become an orbiter again.

I have not deleted her after that but just observed for a while and I realized how They will literally check up on you every now and then. Responding to one of these checks is enough for her to confirm you're still an active orbiter.

So if you have a hard time following the above advice test this out yourself. It will be a valuable lesson to learn the hard way.

 

[VladPatton]

You don't let yourself become an orbiter. Simple as that. You ask for a date and if it doesn't happen you bounce, homes. If 50% of her orbiters do this over night, her ego would take a shıt the size of a Mayan temple.

 

[Trunks]

Stick your hand down there when you two are alone, no joke. At that point it's put up or shut up for her.

 

[Huffman]

Yeah, you've pretty much lost already, but before you go ghost and disappear, go down with a bang! Nothing to lose right? And you will smile about the crazy ballsy stuff for years to come... I know I do

 

[ColonelKilgore]

And you will smile about the crazy ballsy stuff for years to come... I know I do

Exactly. It's an enormous satisfaction to me ending communication on an almost offensive note with a girl who had envisioned you only as an orbiter.

 

[nismo-4]

You ask her out/ make a move. In other words, call her bluff. She'll either back down because she only was looking at you to be an orbiter, or see you as an alpha who gets it.

If she leaves, delete her from all platforms.

Case closed.

 

[Tilex]

I would do anything I can to make sure she hates me.
It's better to burn bridges and remain enemies than to be stuck in limbo with a chick that has no respect for you.
As Huffman put it, I would go out with a bang.

 

[bat soup]

The important thing isn't what you say or do, but that you stop caring and stop giving her your time and energy.

 

[CAPSLOCK BANDIT]

Before you give her the boot, you should run the Wingman game past her and see if you can build value with her while pulling some hot broads.

Women make good Wingmen, the validation of a woman goes a long way for a man with other women.

 

[tomfor]

Tell her how you feel. Or just leave and never know how your acquaintance could end.

 

[Robert28]

I would do anything I can to make sure she hates me.
It's better to burn bridges and remain enemies than to be stuck in limbo with a chick that has no respect for you.
As Huffman put it, I would go out with a bang.

I’ve actually done this and it’s genius! It’s better to be hated than forgotten. Hate isn’t the opposite of love, indifference is.

 

[Robert28]

Those aren't the only options, you know?

With that particular girl it was the only option. I have no regrets about it to this day. Wish I’d said more actually.

 

[andreihaha]

I would do anything I can to make sure she hates me.
It's better to burn bridges and remain enemies than to be stuck in limbo with a chick that has no respect for you.
As Huffman put it, I would go out with a bang.

I don't get this.
You just ignore her. No need to delete her, just forget about her.
Or tell her you're not feeling it and try to take her out as your wing woman. You either hook up with another one or she gets jealous and fks you instead. Or both and you get the 3some. Pretty much high risk/high reward.

 

[Robert28]

If you get yourself into a situation where you're chasing after a girl who doesn't want you, stop blaming the girl. If she wanted you, you wouldn't have to chase her.

It’s not always that simple. The guy isn’t always chasing after the girl, many times she’s the one texting him even though she isn’t interested. Women love to send mixed signals. One of the hardest things to learn for guys with little experience is to understand that a girl interested in you won’t send mixed signals. The same woman that doesn’t want to date you, will also get jealous and throw a fit when you start dating someone else. That’s confusing to a guy. So yeah, blame the woman who plays mind games and sends mixed signals. Absolutely tell them off and burn that bridge.

 

[Robert28]

If you think women know their own minds well enough to not be confused, themselves, about their feelings, then you don't know women very well, and telling her off just makes you look weak. Just don't respond to her texts, and stop being available, when she wants to just hang out, and for crying out loud, keep your wallet in your pants.

If I’m telling off a woman, I’m at the point that I could care less how she views me or how I come off to her. It takes ALOT for me to get to that point and by the time I do, I don’t care what her perception of me is.

 

[BeExcellent]

I like the idea of making her a wing woman. The problem is that if a man is an orbiter then he's invested in the outcome with the woman and therefore he cares too much already. It's harder for the guy who is orbiting to allow the chick to wing for him in many cases. He already wants HER and that's the problem right out of the gate. And even if she will wing for him, he's going to get weird when she flirts with some other dude.

Just distance yourself if you are orbiting a woman. Quit orbiting! She isn't choosing you, so find another woman who does choose you.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

It’s not always that simple. The guy isn’t always chasing after the girl, many times she’s the one texting him even though she isn’t interested. Women love to send mixed signals. One of the hardest things to learn for guys with little experience is to understand that a girl interested in you won’t send mixed signals. The same woman that doesn’t want to date you, will also get jealous and throw a fit when you start dating someone else. That’s confusing to a guy. So yeah, blame the woman who plays mind games and sends mixed signals. Absolutely tell them off and burn that bridge.

She wanted you to stay in position as her "ride to die friendzone soldier". You didn't have the experience to recognize it

 

[Bible_Belt]

Just learn to read interest, and don't take it out on anyone else, that you can't...yet

It's a shame that everyone who has you on ignore because of your political rants will occasionally miss good advice. I'll quote it so they get to see it.