what do you do if you get no interest from women, what's the problem?

[46and2aheadofme]

I have seen a handful of others like you that can get the females, one of them I met last summer and his gf was a 9. The thing about him was that when he talked everyone listened and he was very charming and interesting.
Also his posture and body language reflected something that I can't explain.
When he talked all the females eyes where glued on him, he wore a weird necklace and a funny looking hat. Ohhhh, he was doing the peacocking thing.
The peacocking thing is when you have some weird items on you that draw attention, I remember one of the big PUA guys talking about always having a weird item on them or something to make them stand out from the crowd and also be used as a conversation piece. I know that these things sound like gimmicks and tricks but they do work.
I used to always have a straight face, never smile, and look angry, until a few months ago, I started doing the smile thing and females where smiling back and paying attention to me. Some of them go out of their way to say hi to me if have smiled at them previously, some that I tought hated me for some unknown reason now melt when they see me, after I did what now I believe to be my most powerful "move", wich is:
Medium smile/smirk
Say "Hi"
Look at both of her eyes twice
Keep smiling
Say "how are you?" as if you have known her for a long time.
She will cut eye contact,(most of the times), you look somewhere else, still keeping the smile, "acting" a little shy.
Look at her eyes again.
Keep medium smile going.

You can try this with a store clerk, cashier, etc, just to practice but make sure that she is looking when you do this, after a while it will become normal to you, watching them melt in front of you is pretty cool.

This.

Most are unaware of how subtle things like smiling and body language affect those around them. I have heard that something like 70% of communication is non-verbal (posture, gestures, facial expressions, etc.

Make sure you are standing upright when you walk, keeping your neck straight, and puffing your chest out slightly. Then make eye contact with girls without breaking it and give them a smile. You don't need a reason to smile, although it might be a little awkward at first. Women WILL respond.

You also have to force yourself to have a different attitude. When I see a girl I am attracted to I just repeat ridiculous things in my head like "Wow, she is so into me. She would let 30 guys run train if I was promised to be one of them". And if they refuse to make eye contact I tell myself "she is just too shy and therefore sucks". Just assume that every girl around you is attracted to you and adjust your posture to be congruent with this.

I was like you once. I thought I was a decently attractive guy, but was severely frustrated at the fact that girls gave me very little attention. I made the conscious decision to work on my attitude and body language and it surprised me how well it worked.

Keep in mind that this is a confidence building exercise, and you probably won't be picking up girls simply by doing this. But after a while you will come to find that this is a great technique for identifying girls that are attracted to you. If you do it right at least one girl is gauranteed to smile back and give you those "I'd let you pillage me" eyes-- and then your golden.

 

[13stepscfh]

Its a bit of an enigma how some guys manage to pick up girls these days. I haven't had any indicators of interest for a while now. I haven't had a date in years.

Also you don't really get to meet any quality girls in my town and any of the good ones already have boyfriends. All the bars are full of blokes. I don't see any flirting from girls these days and yet I am told by a number of people that I'm good looking.

we are in the same boat my friend. i have been told so numerous times by people men and women alike who i believe were honest and weren't lying. when i look in the mirror i like my appearance (even though i could change a few things) and i can say i've seen much worse than me with women/enjoying women without having much difficulty, this i know for sure and i've seen it many times. you'd think this would make things easier for me and it's not the case. at the times i actually start to become negative and assume i must be hideous since i am constantly alone (but i know i'm not deep down). maybe it's similar for you where you doubt your own appearance?

This.

Most are unaware of how subtle things like smiling and body language affect those around them. I have heard that something like 70% of communication is non-verbal (posture, gestures, facial expressions, etc.

Make sure you are standing upright when you walk, keeping your neck straight, and puffing your chest out slightly. Then make eye contact with girls without breaking it and give them a smile. You don't need a reason to smile, although it might be a little awkward at first. Women WILL respond.

You also have to force yourself to have a different attitude. When I see a girl I am attracted to I just repeat ridiculous things in my head like "Wow, she is so into me. She would let 30 guys run train if I was promised to be one of them". And if they refuse to make eye contact I tell myself "she is just too shy and therefore sucks". Just assume that every girl around you is attracted to you and adjust your posture to be congruent with this.

I was like you once. I thought I was a decently attractive guy, but was severely frustrated at the fact that girls gave me very little attention. I made the conscious decision to work on my attitude and body language and it surprised me how well it worked.

Keep in mind that this is a confidence building exercise, and you probably won't be picking up girls simply by doing this. But after a while you will come to find that this is a great technique for identifying girls that are attracted to you. If you do it right at least one girl is gauranteed to smile back and give you those "I'd let you pillage me" eyes-- and then your golden.

like i said, i will consider this and try to look more pleasant to see if it has any effect. throughout the years i've actually had some men and women ask me why i looked pissed off/serious...was usually a shock to me because i wasn't and i told them it was just my routine face and didn't reflect how i felt at the time. i don't expect things to miraculously turn around and suddenly having the women stick to me like glue but it'll be one more option i can at least exhaust.

 

[morningbrew]

Count me in the stern demeanor crowd. I've had people ask me what I was mad about before and pretty much all my ex-girlfriends eventually told me they were initially afraid of me (which can be good in small doses). It was just my natural, neutral facial expression. It doesn't help that I'm tall and on the bulky/muscular side. I had to make a conscious effort for a long time to portray a friendlier, more inviting expression. Meditation helped with this as it relaxes you. Relaxed body language will appear more confident.

 

[Igetit!]

we are in the same boat my friend. i have been told so numerous times by people men and women alike who i believe were honest and weren't lying. when i look in the mirror i like my appearance (even though i could change a few things) and i can say i've seen much worse than me with women/enjoying women without having much difficulty, this i know for sure and i've seen it many times. you'd think this would make things easier for me and it's not the case. at the times i actually start to become negative and assume i must be hideous since i am constantly alone (but i know i'm not deep down). maybe it's similar for you where you doubt your own appearance?

You're NOT hideous dude,you just don't get it. You don't understand.

This just proves my point. You say that you've seen guys "much WORSE THAN YOU" with women/enjoying women without having much difficulty".

So in essence what you're saying is you've seen ugly guys with women,and this confuses you because you know you look better than them.



I used to think this way.



I have a cousin I used to hangout with a few years ago. He had women left and right. I would see him talk to girls and they'd have HUGE smiles on their faces with their heads slightly tilted to the side.





I'd see him do this,and I'd say to myself,"What the...how is he doing that? He has all these women and I don't have anyone,but I KNOW I look better than him".




He tried to explain some things to me,but back then I was too proud and thought I knew everything. I dismissed his advice,and he went right along his way dating all these women,while I went right along my way...being alone.


You seem to be dead set on this "appearance" issue. I keep telling you that women AREN"T LIKE US.



With women,it's about HOW THEY FEEL...PERIOD.



You're making the same mistake I used to make and that million of guys still make. You think that women are like YOU. You think that the way YOU'RE ATTRACTED to them is the same way they're attracted TO US.



Of course physical attraction plays a part,but not NEARLY to the degree you think it does.



You say that you've had this problem for a while,therefore I assume you been trying to fix it for a while but haven't been able to. You know why?

Because you keep looking in the wrong place.



If your car won't start and the battery is the problem,then guess what?

THE BATTERY IS THE PROBLEM.



If I change the alternator,but the battery is the problem,the problem remains.

If I change the fan belt,but the battery is the problem,the problem remains.

If I change the starter,but the battery is the problem,the problem remains.



Despite EVERYTHING you've done so far,the problem still persist.

Uhhh...could it be you're looking in the wrong place?



If I were you,I'd still dress nice and all,but I'd focus most on the woman's emotions than whether I look "hot" or not.

throughout the years i've actually had some men and women ask me why i looked pissed off/serious...was usually a shock to me because i wasn't and i told them it was just my routine face and didn't reflect how i felt at the time.

This seems to be more of what's going on than how physically attractive you are to women.



If course you aren't going to get these signs of interest you desire from women if they think you're pissed off or are serious all the time.



More than likely,they'll just avoid you. Goes back to what I said about women's emotions-you looking pissed off will make them "FEEL" uncomfortable. Heck,you seeming pissed off will make a guy feel anxiuos or uncomfortable as well.



Don"t you think it's about time you put your attention on the "battery" instead of changing everything else? If I'm wrong,then fine,but what difference will it make?



If you're alone now,you do what I said,then afterwards you're still alone,you won't be out anything.



For one second,just stop thinking that women are like us,and consider what I've said. And if it doesn't work,hey,you can always come back to whatever it is you're doing now.

 

[Maxtro]

This seduction shit is so tiring. There is nothing worse than a feeling that you are doing something wrong but have no idea what it actually is. Never mind, running out of hope feels worse. No hope leads to no motivation, which leads to not even trying anymore. Throw in a little fear of getting hurt and action is impossible.

I really don't know what I'm doing anymore. I haven't had a real conversation with a girl in months, I don't know how to get into situations where hooking up with girls happen.

I am starting to get very scared.

 

[13stepscfh]

that's fine i get it. ok, then how do i respond to/stir a woman's emotions

 

[Igetit!]

that's fine i get it. ok, then how do i respond to/stir a woman's emotions

Ok. Well first of all,it's not as simple as me giving you some words or phrases to say,then "poof!",everything's fixed. There are some concepts you'll need to understand. Since you've been stuck on the "appearance" thing for so long,A LOT of what I'm going to say will sound counterproductive and make no sense.



Understand these things...

1)Hurting or offending a woman when you first meet her WILL NOT KILL ATTRACTION. I don't want this reply to end up being a book. I don't want to have to explain every little detail,so just trust me on this.


I'm not saying to go around trying to offend girls on purpose. I'm just saying not to worry about it.


2)You need to already possess in yourself whatever it is you're wanting from the girls you approach.


What I mean by that is this:If you want a girl to be warm and friendly,then YOU NEED TO BE WARM AND FRIENDLY...FIRST..


If you want her to be open and easy to connect to,thenYOU MUST BE OPEN AND EASY TO CONNECT TO...FIRST.



Emotions are contagious. So whatever emotions you want her to feel,you'll need to be feeling it WHILE YOU'RE SPEAKING TO HER.



You ever have someone laugh and laugh and laugh while you're with them?Pretty soon,it'll make you want to laugh too...even if you don't think the thing they're laughing about is funny.


Their energy and vibe OVERRIDE your logical mind.


Logically you didn't think the thing they were laughing about was funny,but their emotional reaction was so strong,that it infected you,and made you laugh too.



You'll be saying with you mouth,"This is so dumb"...while at the same time laughing so hard you're almost crying.



That's how powerful emotions are.




But like I said before,the best way to help you would be for you to simply ANSWER THE QUESTIONS I asked in my first reply.


And you'll need to be DIRECT with the answers.



When I asked "What do you say to women?",the response I wanted was something like,"Well,when I walk up to a girl,I say______________".


Just answer the questions DIRECTLY.



Also,check out this reply. Don't worry,it's not 5 or 6 pages of another thread to read,it's just 1 single reply.


It should help to give you a different perspective on women.

 

[13stepscfh]

Ok. Well first of all,it's not as simple as me giving you some words or phrases to say,then "poof!",everything's fixed. There are some concepts you'll need to understand. Since you've been stuck on the "appearance" thing for so long,A LOT of what I'm going to say will sound counterproductive and make no sense.



Understand these things...

1)Hurting or offending a woman when you first meet her WILL NOT KILL ATTRACTION. I don't want this reply to end up being a book. I don't want to have to explain every little detail,so just trust me on this.


I'm not saying to go around trying to offend girls on purpose. I'm just saying not to worry about it.


2)You need to already possess in yourself whatever it is you're wanting from the girls you approach.


What I mean by that is this:If you want a girl to be warm and friendly,then YOU NEED TO BE WARM AND FRIENDLY...FIRST..


If you want her to be open and easy to connect to,thenYOU MUST BE OPEN AND EASY TO CONNECT TO...FIRST.



Emotions are contagious. So whatever emotions you want her to feel,you'll need to be feeling it WHILE YOU'RE SPEAKING TO HER.



You ever have someone laugh and laugh and laugh while you're with them?Pretty soon,it'll make you want to laugh too...even if you don't think the thing they're laughing about is funny.


Their energy and vibe OVERRIDE your logical mind.


Logically you didn't think the thing they were laughing about was funny,but their emotional reaction was so strong,that it infected you,and made you laugh too.



You'll be saying with you mouth,"This is so dumb"...while at the same time laughing so hard you're almost crying.



That's how powerful emotions are.




But like I said before,the best way to help you would be for you to simply ANSWER THE QUESTIONS I asked in my first reply.


And you'll need to be DIRECT with the answers.



When I asked "What do you say to women?",the response I wanted was something like,"Well,when I walk up to a girl,I say______________".


Just answer the questions DIRECTLY.



Also,check out this reply. Don't worry,it's not 5 or 6 pages of another thread to read,it's just 1 single reply.


It should help to give you a different perspective on women.

i actually read that post when you posted it and i completelyagree, believe me i'm not asleep or ignorant lol. i know plenty of guys who have nice things and struggle because they are boring and have no personality. i'm not saying how you make a girl feel isn't important...i recognize the importance in her emotions. i guess the question to ask after the post you directed me too and this reply here is how do you successfully go about creating attraction in a girl you don't know by effecting her emotions. i must be doin something wrong if i'm failing to get the right emotional reaction out of them

i saw your question but i didn't answer because it really depends. when i first meet a woman we usually just joke about **** mainly, sometimes i will make fun of her in a good way...it really depends on the situation were in and what i can use as an opener but it usually always go back to her. how they respond depends....sometimes they just outright blow me off but most of the time they are nice and we talk. usually things take a turn for the worse later on as things progress. i also typically get more nervous for some reason, i suspect this is because they start prodding me to see if i'm up to snuff. generally the majority of women i come across don't seem very enthusiastic, this is the way it's been as far as i remember. a woman who looks interested comes around every blue moon.

 

[Igetit!]

i'm not saying how you make a girl feel isn't important...i recognize the importance in her emotions.

No,I don't think you do.

Up to this point you've had 11 posts in this thread and the first 9 of them were all related to your appearance.


You didn't say a thing about women's emotions until AFTER I brought up the subject.

Trust me,it's a WHOLE LOT MORE IMPORTANT than you realize.

i guess the question to ask after the post you directed me too and this reply here is how do you successfully go about creating attraction in a girl you don't know by effecting her emotions.

I just told you. You effect her emotions by first expressing the emotions you want her to feel FROM YOURSELF.

THE EMOTIONS THEMSELVES will attract her to you. All you have to do is just guide her where you want her to go WHILE SHE'S FEELING THEM.


For example,let's say you just approached a girl,and you said something that made her angry. What do you do? Well while she's feeling the anger,throw out a sexual innuendo. Afterall,what is anger anyway?


It's just passion in a different form.


If you say something sexual whlie she's not feeling anything,you'll probably offend her (and not in a good way). If you say it while she's feeling an emotion,the emotion gets linked to the thought of sex...with you.

i saw your question but i didn't answer because it really depends. when i first meet a woman we usually just joke about **** mainly, sometimes i will make fun of her in a good way...it really depends on the situation were in and what i can use as an opener but it usually always go back to her.

So you joke and make fun of her. Well that's fine and all,but answer me this...do you ask her out?


How would she know you're interested in dating her? If you wanted to take her out on a date on Wednesday,how would she know that?

i also typically get more nervous for some reason, i suspect this is because they start prodding me to see if i'm up to snuff

Proves my point. We're right back to those emotions.


All I can do is keep repeating what I've already said until you "get it".


Emotions are contagious. If you're nervous when you talk to girls,they'll "sense" that nervousness coming from you,and it'll make them nervous too.

Uncomfortable is what it'll make them.


You think they'll want to date or be around someone who makes them uncomfortable? Of course not.


Women want a man who's strong and sure of himself,someone who can protect her.



Well if you're nervous and about to wet your pants simply because you're speaking to her,you think she'll feel safe with you?


I can understand if she pulled a gun on you,but just talking with her?


In my opinion,that's more of the problem than your appearance.



The negative emotions you give off while talking to a girl SPEAK LOUDER than any actual words you might say.

 

[Poonani Maker]

Dude, I'm like The Bomb, when it comes to looks, swagger, walk, not so much talk, but I'm better than I've ever been in that department, and I even don't get "looks" from 40% of the women, but women remember, they don't need us men anymore.

Every now and then, like at least once a day, I catch one looking at me, from afar, upclose, wherever, and that's when I know, she gets it. She understands when she sees the sh!t.

I'm not trying to brag, but that's just how I view myself. If a woman crossing my path doesn't oogle and ahhh then, she didn't get a good look at me. Some of them sh!t test the fvck outta me once they see what they want, you know, try to put me under control. I won't have it, and that makes witnessing girls desire me even more, Even though, they were real sh!tty to me on their first encounter with me. I let em know immediately, that's where I draw the line, and I ain't gonna let nobody control me. I may be apprehended by the cops, but my thoughts will forever remain MINE (to benefit me).

 

[13stepscfh]

i am going to give igetit's advice a go one more time. i have already tried being positive in the past and while it didn't make a whole lot of difference from what i remember he is right in the sense that a more positive outlook and if you can radiate it is more attractive than the opposite.

now to answer you igetit i do understand, really i do, i just made this topic and centered it around looks because most of these girls are deciding at first look they don't like me. now i know some will say "but you can't say that for sure without approaching" i do approach and i can say with confidence that in most of my encounters i am able to predict whether the girl will be interest or not often based just on a few looks. this is something that i think a lot of us can relate too because i think most of us on here who talk about these things are aware of all kinds of tiny nuances and pick up things along the way that the average person has no clue of if they aren't familiar what the community. i have done enough observation and been on the recieving end of rejection that many times i can usaully tell when a girl doesn't like me or is in the process of trying to turn me down. after a while you start to make note of every look, behavior, expression of theirs when it comes to a particular outcome (rejction) and it just connects because most of the time it follows one big pattern and it becomes increasingly clear with time that it becomes easy to spot. they train you well, you start to know their every damn move just about and can tell when the game is lost at a mere look and it makes no sense to play.

and yes, i do ask them out although lately (past 2 months) i haven't...see the above as to why.

but you said something that caught my eye poonani maker and i'm going to touch upon it because i suspect many others on this board may also feel the same way but won't mention because...well it's not something you really want to admit even on a board like this. you said women don't need us anymore...and you're right and that is part of the reason why they have been able to raise the bar in their expectations of men...by no mean do i believe they should have less of a choice or pick, don't believe in such a thing and a person being forced to do anything they don't want but i can't deny because of how competitive things are it's hard for me to feel like i'm worthy of some of these girls. i look around and see these girls, they don't even have to be super attractive even slightly above average looking one's have these confident, well adjusted guys chasing them and here i am, very little luck & experience and i'm supposed to feel like I can compete with these guys?

 

[Igetit!]

but women remember, they don't need us men anymore.

They don't need us? According to who?

Of course women need us. And we need them. We need each other.


The some of the reasons for needing us may have changed in the past 50 or 60 years,but they still need us.

And not only that,but they still WANT US.


What,you think them getting boob jobs,dressing provacitively,going out to clubs,getting on internet dating sites,and other such things ALL have nothing to do with men?



Women need men.


Someone might say,"They don't need men. They can go to a sperm bank to have children."


Really? Well where does the sperm come from?

It comes from us.




Someone might say,"Well a lot of women make as much money or even more than men. They don't need a man to provide for them".


That may be true,but can that money put it's arms around her and make her "FEEL" safe and protected?


If they don't need us anymore,then let all the men go to one side of the planet,and the women to the other side.

In 150 years,BOTH SIDES will be empty.


We need each other. I don't care how far women have supposedly come,how many rights they've abtained,how much money they earn now,or how high and mighty they think they are because of their beauty,THEY'LL NEVER BE INDEPENDANT OF US to the point where they can survive on their own.