When you're involved with a BPD, you will take emotional abuse from her. It may be a lot, it may be a little, but you will take emotional abuse from her.
Often times, this is something familiar to us from our childhood, where we would take emotional abuse from one of our parents. Many people have forgotten about these experiences...we're grown up now, we live and control our own lives, we are not dependent of our parents anymore.
But our subconcious remembers, even if our direct awareness doesn't. If the emotional battles and abuse you experienced with your parent were heavy and plentiful, these experiences have been etched into your subconscious. This often leads a person to be drawn to the same kind of relationships with "lovers" later on in life.
It's not really "you" who chooses them, it's not your conscious decision to pursue them. But your subconcious, which is beyond your control, is drawn to them.
My mom was a BPD and most of the women in my life were BPD as well. In a way, I feel "at home" when I'm dealing with those bytches, it feels familiar, it feels like I can only truly connect with them. That's because the first intimate connection that I've had in my life, the one with my mother, is a blueprint for all other intimate connections in my life.
This holds true for every person in the world. When you grow up and get involved with girls, you will simply project the connection with your mother onto them. If that connection with your mother was pathological, you will seek out pathological connections with women later on in your life as well.
The powers of your subconcsious are very strong. Just consider how a person has learned to read. You've been trained day in day out as a child, for years and years, to learn how to read. It started with the alphabet and simple words and got more sophisticated in college etc. It's become second nature and you cannot NOT read a word. When I write down the word ELEPHANT, the moment you see it you instantly know that I'm talking about that huge grey animal. You cannot force your brain to look at the letters objectively, as if there is just a combination of letters in front of your eyes. Your brain will automatically make sense of that combination of letters and give meaning to it, as it has been trained to do. You cannot untrain this and force yourself to NOT see the meaning of the combination of letters. When you were an infant and not in school yet, you would just see symbols there that didn't make sense to you. But you can never return to that state, reading has become an automatic process and it will happen when you see a combination of letters, whether you want to or not. That's because it has become a subconcous process.
Just like that, the connection to my mother has been etched into my subsconcious and when I meet a BPD, I will feel a strong connection to that girl whether I like it or not, because this is simply a subconscious, automatic response.
In order to not get involved with BPD's all the time, you have to make very deep changes in your own subconscious emotional core. Therapy is probably a good idea. Personally, I've been digging deeper into my childhood trauma, the relationship with my mom and all the emotional abuse I experienced as a child. I hate my mom from the bottom of my heart, the psychological terror she put me through as a child was unbearable. This hatred runs so deep, when I think of my mom I just become pure rage.
Now when I meet a BPD, I try to remind myself "That's her, that's just your mom in another body." And that's true. If you have been involved with many BPD's in your life, then you know how they are all actually just the same person, but in different bodies. It's not for nothing that all guys on here always feel like it was their own BPD when someone else talks about their BPD. Anyway, everytime I have been involved with a BPD it was such bliss at the start, but eventually the mask dropped and she started hurting me and putting me through emotional abuse, which would remind me of my childhood and the abuse I took from my mom. Then the hatred in me would finally appear, I would feel disgusted by the behavior of the BPD and kick her to the curb for disrespecting me and messing with my head.
Nowadays, when I meet a BPD, I make sure to remind myself of my mom and the abuse she put me though BEFORE I get involved with the BPD. I will not allow myself to fall for her sweetness and will eject before I get emotionally hooked on her. I was able to do that for quite some years until I foolishly fell for one again last year. It's the same as when you've been addicted to cigarettes, even if quit and haven't smoked one for years, you can still easily get hooked again if you smoke a few. You have to always keep making a conscious effort not to fall for the temptation.
But practise makes perfect, I guess. Everytime you're able to pull yourself away from the BPD temptation, is a victory and the more you repeat that succes, the better you become at it.
When you meet one, just remind yourself of the pain that previous BPD's caused you. You wanna go through that again? Of course not... The problem is that she won't cause you that pain right away. On the contrary, she wil put you in heaven when you first get involved with one. The pain will come later on... So you just have to keep that in mind and remind yourself of it STRONGLY. You have to make a conscious effort to stay away, while your subconcious will drive you to get close to her. You have t fight it, you have to battle your own urges.
Don't know if any of this helps you, I'm kinda thinking out loud here. Fvck those bytches, I'm going out in a few hours and try to pick up some hot chick at the club. You should throw your computer out of the window and do the same
