What do you bring to the table

[backbreaker]

In business, to really well.. survive. you have to bring something to the table. not only do you have to bring something to the table, it has to unique that seperates you from the pact. rather it be price, quality, or a special niche in a market.

name 5 things that YOU bring to the table that women should consider value and that set you apart from everyone else (within reason)

and no you can't say "i'm good looking".. genetic advantages dont' count

I'll go first

1. I take very good care of my body

2. I'm able to provide any woman I am with a very comfortable life style

3. I have a 2, 5 and 10 year plan laid out on my life, and I actually follow it. You date me you are dating a man that it literalry going places

4. i speak 3 lanaguages pretty fleuently (english, french, italian)

5. I can go on and on, but i'm going for uniqueness here.. i'm actually a very good jazz pianist.

 

[Truebrit]

In business, to really well.. survive. you have to bring something to the table. not only do you have to bring something to the table, it has to unique that seperates you from the pact. rather it be price, quality, or a special niche in a market.

name 5 things that YOU bring to the table that women should consider value and that set you apart from everyone else (within reason)

and no you can't say "i'm good looking".. genetic advantages dont' count

I'll go first

1. I take very good care of my body

2. I'm able to provide any woman I am with a very comfortable life style

3. I have a 2, 5 and 10 year plan laid out on my life, and I actually follow it. You date me you are dating a man that it literalry going places

4. i speak 3 lanaguages pretty fleuently (english, french, italian)

5. I can go on and on, but i'm going for uniqueness here.. i'm actually a very good jazz pianist.

You sound like your qualifying yourself - why not do a thread 5 things you look for in a women.

 

[MR_PERFECT]

In business, to really well.. survive. you have to bring something to the table. not only do you have to bring something to the table, it has to unique that seperates you from the pact. rather it be price, quality, or a special niche in a market.

name 5 things that YOU bring to the table that women should consider value and that set you apart from everyone else (within reason)

and no you can't say "i'm good looking".. genetic advantages dont' count

I'll go first

1. I take very good care of my body

2. I'm able to provide any woman I am with a very comfortable life style

3. I have a 2, 5 and 10 year plan laid out on my life, and I actually follow it. You date me you are dating a man that it literalry going places

4. i speak 3 lanaguages pretty fleuently (english, french, italian)

5. I can go on and on, but i'm going for uniqueness here.. i'm actually a very good jazz pianist.

The irony: All that's stated above will get you a woman, but that fact that you felt the need to post this will have her cheating on you in no time. Guys are always thinking of one thing and forget about the other thing.

 

[backbreaker]

my gosh you are missing the point. big time


YOU HAVE TO BRING SOMETHING TO THE TABLE.

call it qualifing, call it whatever.. where did we get this notion that we DESERVE smoking ass likcing hot HB 9.9999's and demand NOTHING from us?

I mean seriously?


what I am really trying to get you to do, is when you are in a club/resturant with all those guys that are dressed up.. and you go and talk to that chick that is hot... why would she be crazy not to talk to you

call it what you will.. I get laid and my GF isn't going anywhere.

 

[mikeraw]

backbreakers, I know what you mean, but I think at the rawest levels, chicks are just looking for those masculine traits that helped them out evolutionarily eons before things like musical instruments and even languages developed...

Like you, I speak several languages and am a badass on the piano and the guitar, but how much have these helped me? Not that much... in fact, almost zero... I come from a good family and have a great career and this hasn't helped me get azz... I was raised to be a nice, educated guy and I only hooked up by inertia... as soon as I started applying DJ principles, my booty count went through the roof...

 

[taiyuu_otoko]

Backbreaker, as long as you are using the sales model, you need to take it a step or two further. You could just list "features and benefits" and hope that what you think is important is also important to her.

The next step would be to explain why your "features and benefits" are important to her, or rather, how they fit into her world.

for example, while selling cars, I was taught to always list the features and benefits, followed by "and what that means to you is...."

and of course that would differ based on the customer.

If you want to take it a step further, you find out what is important to the individual FIRST, and then carefuly word the descriptions of the "features and benefits" so they match EXACTLY to the target/customer/girl/mark's criteria which you have elicited.

To take it even a step further than that, AFTER you've elicited the customers indivudual criteria, and matched your "features and benefits" to them to a T, THEN,,,THEN

you throw the ball back in her court. Basically you say (not in cold sales terms of course)

I've shown how i"m an exact match for what you are looking for, and here are MY criteria: BOOM.

Do YOU Qualify?


The trick is to develop enough positive GENERAL qualities (which I suspect was the nature of your post) so that you can match them to pretty much any person's criteria, so she will think you are gift from heaven, and she has to work her ass of to earn your attention.


So here are what I think are positive general male qualities:

BOLD Plan for the future (not a hope or a dream or a wish)
flexibility to learn from every interaction
see obstacles as opportunites
FANTASTIC communication skills, both verbal and non verbal
Leadership skills
Decision making skills (which means taking full responsibility for your decision)
Healthy lifestyle
Sense of humor

and NOT spending all goddamn day long on internet message boards.

 

[azanon]

In business, to really well.. survive. you have to bring something to the table. not only do you have to bring something to the table, it has to unique that seperates you from the pact. rather it be price, quality, or a special niche in a market.

name 5 things that YOU bring to the table that women should consider value and that set you apart from everyone else (within reason)

and no you can't say "i'm good looking".. genetic advantages dont' count

I'll go first

1. I take very good care of my body

2. I'm able to provide any woman I am with a very comfortable life style

3. I have a 2, 5 and 10 year plan laid out on my life, and I actually follow it. You date me you are dating a man that it literalry going places

4. i speak 3 lanaguages pretty fleuently (english, french, italian)

5. I can go on and on, but i'm going for uniqueness here.. i'm actually a very good jazz pianist.

Good looks do count, BB and if you've got it... you bring it to the table. What was your point for saying it doesn't?

 

[Bible_Belt]

name 5 things that YOU bring to the table


1. I make her feel attractive, desirable, sexy and help her become a more sexual person. This is where working out and being in shape helps, but it is not everything. The rest is cultivating her self-image; most women have low self-esteem, and as a guy, if you can raise that, then she will tend to make you very happy in return.

2. I make her feel loved. When a girl is treating me well, I try to do every little thing I can to make her life go well. It is not the task that matters, it is how she feels about it that counts. Bring her a can of soup when she is sick and let her think you are the man of her dreams if that is what she wants. If a woman wants to have fairy tale fantasies about you, and most of them do, then let her.

3. I have a good idea of what a woman wants in a man, and I display those traits. I am supportive, positive, strong, defend her when attacked, the leader when we are together, and basically take an interest in making her life go well to the extent that it infringes upon my own life.

4. I make her laugh. In surveys, women list "fun" as the one trait that they want in a man. You don't have to be a comedian or schedule every minute like her own entertainment coordinator, but at least be an overall positive person and also share with her whatever humor you find in life.

5. I engage her mind. This skill is important with smart girls.



Notice that my list does not read like a resume for a job interview. Another thing about every item on that list - no one can tell me any excuses. This site is full of guys who have some overriding excuse about why they can't succeed with women just yet, but the tangible accomplishments that guys think are such a big deal are not nearly as important as the feelings you elicit from a woman. How she feels is what really counts. And yes, tangible traits do matter, but like everything else, they matter because of how they make her feel.

 

[Irs88]

I don't see how this thread would help the new people here....like myself

We are still recovering from AFC-ness. When you bring up all this we realize we aren't good at anything. Don't get me wrong. Its just that we want that positive environment so we can change. This isn't a positive environment. When I read that the first post I tell myself "wow, i suck". Of course I bounce right back up because I know that this shouldnt bog be down. I stay positive and continue on with my life.

My point is yea, this might help you people up there, but for us people down here....its only going to discouarge us...which is quite wierd because we come to this board for just the opposite.

 

[TheLadiesMan]

1. I rent where I live.
2. I have a low paying job.
3. I'm old (39).
4. Ain't good looking (being honest), but in hella shape. Not Pitt, but not ugly either. (God's little joke on me.) I, personally, think I'm good looking though.
5. I got no money.
6. Car barely runs.

...I can go on and on but why? The only thing I can say is that I know how to fvck. I can burn up a relationship quicker than poop, but man, I can put a smile on women's face without breaking a sweat.

I wished I had focused more on the latter part, than being a stud in bed. *shrugs*

One more thing that I think stands out more than anything else... at the very least, I'm a good father.

 

[azanon]

1. I rent where I live.
2. I have a low paying job.
3. I'm old (39).
4. Ain't good looking (being honest), but in hella shape. Not Pitt, but not ugly either. (God's little joke on me.) I, personally, think I'm good looking though.
5. I got no money.
6. Car barely runs.

You really should work on some of these things (that you can). I'm not bothered so much that these are facts for you as I am that you seem to be content with it.

Man I couldn't hardly even think about women if the rest of my life wasn't firing on near all cylinders. But maybe that's just me....

 

[Sinistar]

I just bring myself to the table

 

[Drum&Bass]

I think its an interesting approach but I've found, I have been extremely lucky in life to meet women that were attractive, educated, Financially secure, well travelled, spoke different languages etc. and being with women like this has taught me something.

Some of these women had higher paying jobs and lived more fulfilled lives than I did. All of them were extremely attractive and could have gone for taller more muscular guys, or guys in better financial situations than me, yet for some reason I was always able to attract and form deep intimacy with them.

Do you want to know how I even got my foot in the door with these women and entertained an audience ??

For some, it was simply talking about documentaries that challenged the way our society functions, for some it was an just an intelligent conversation that showed we thought alike or had similar interests. It doesn't hurt that Im an in shape personal trainer but that usually seems to be noticed during times of intimacy later on down the line. Some women will notice my attractiveness first but those women are not the types that I stick with for long, or there good for sex only.

Its good to make a list like BB's in terms of figuring out your life for yourself and perhaps to help with your self esteem knowing in the back of your mind your accomplishments, but in terms of women...achievements and what you bring to the table mean nothing compared to...

connection

p.s. all of the women I keep company with are from Eastern Europe..there may be something in that as well..

 

[Colossus]

my gosh you are missing the point. big time


YOU HAVE TO BRING SOMETHING TO THE TABLE.

call it qualifing, call it whatever.. where did we get this notion that we DESERVE smoking ass licking hot HB 9.9999's and demand NOTHING from us?

I mean seriously?

I think you make a valid point. As much as we talk about entitlement here, it would be hypocritical to think we deserve the best women when we cant identify and explicate our own attributes.

Genetic advantages, however, DO count. They arent going away, and a hereditary advantage (e.g. good looks, good health, family history, intellect, etc) is still going to be viewed as something good you bring to the table. That's just life. We may all have the same structural blueprint, but we arent all equal in that respect.

It's funny how when you boil it down you see how much of our 'value' is determined by monetary endowment. Take for example, the guitar or piano. I've want to get a nice keyboard for years now, but I've never been able to put together that much money. In fact, there are at least a dozen things I would do and pursue on a regular basis if I had the money. Dirtbiking, paragliding, music, long-distance hunting trips, ballooning, and others are all thing I have truly wanted to do for years, and even have to some extent (otherwise how would I know I like them )...but due to being in school and other factors it's all a pipe dream to me at this point. It sucks, frankly, but I cant blame anyone for it.

My point is that I may appear a much more compelling guy to some women if I did all this cool stuff I want to do. They might see a more adventurous, interesting, and well-rounded guy; and none of these things have any woman-related motivations for me---I just want to do them. But it is almost entirely determined by money.

So money certainly gives you advantages separate from the intangibles.

BIBLE BELT did a great job of listing the intangible qualities he brings to the table. Not all men can do this...hell, there is a lot of men who cant do ANY of the things he listed!!

On a personal note, I am fairly deft at personal reflection and in delineating and classifying problems. I know I could bring good things to the right person, but I also recognize my "market share" is rather narrow. Most women gravitate towards men who are extroverted, sociable, funny, and who are good storytellers, or rather, entertainers. I am naturally introverted, a bit of a loner, and fairly quiet most of the time...and women tend to find this peculiar, as if they dont know what to do with it. I tend to not last long with the average woman, because frankly, Im not your average guy. I am always being asked why I am so quiet or what I am thinking, etc. I often struggle with the fact that all of my depth is beneath the surface--that is, I have a hard time conveying it in a social context. You could be the deepest thinker in the world, but if you cant engage others in some way, well, no one will ever know.

 

[Barefoot Boy]

1. I rent where I live.
2. I have a low paying job.
3. I'm old (39).
4. Ain't good looking (being honest), but in hella shape. Not Pitt, but not ugly either. (God's little joke on me.) I, personally, think I'm good looking though.
5. I got no money.
6. Car barely runs.

...

It is another way to say:

1. I'm not a sucker trapped in a 30 year mortgage with only 28 years left to go and the ARM interest rate about to reset.
2. I am not trapped by payments and status symbols.
3. Say I only have a few more years until I can declare mid-life crisis and buy a red sports car.
4. To woman: Here, feel my stomach, no beer belly.
5. I'm broke not poor. 'Cause poor is a mentality!
6. I'm not trapped by the balls because of my ego and 55 more monthly car payments.

:rock:

 

[STR8UP]

1) I know how to make a woman cvm HARD and OFTEN

2) I am at least decent looking and although I am 37 I look much younger

3) I am well traveled and "cultured" (in my own way...I'm not formally educated)

4) I possess the talents, skills, and resources necessary to become very wealthy

5) I'm smarter than the average bear

 

[Bible_Belt]

bump

everyone here had a good answer to the original question

 

[horaholic]

5.) i was 11th in the nation for the breaststroke.

Please tell me you've used that as an opener!

As for me:

1. I am very intelligent, and a great problem solver.

2. I am supportive and considerate (sometimes, too much so!)

3. I'm reasonably funny, laid back, becoming more social all the time, and a hell of a guitar player, who is usually in one of the top rated bands in whatever city I happen to live in.

4. Sexually... I'm always the best they've ever had. I am a jedi in the sack.

5. I am definitely a unique kind of person, in a good way. However, I dont dress like it.

 

[ketostix]

In business, to really well.. survive. you have to bring something to the table. not only do you have to bring something to the table, it has to unique that seperates you from the pact. rather it be price, quality, or a special niche in a market.

name 5 things that YOU bring to the table that women should consider value and that set you apart from everyone else (within reason)

and no you can't say "i'm good looking".. genetic advantages dont' count

I'll go first

1. I take very good care of my body

2. I'm able to provide any woman I am with a very comfortable life style

3. I have a 2, 5 and 10 year plan laid out on my life, and I actually follow it. You date me you are dating a man that it literalry going places

4. i speak 3 lanaguages pretty fleuently (english, french, italian)

5. I can go on and on, but i'm going for uniqueness here.. i'm actually a very good jazz pianist.

Well I think you have a valid point that you have to bring something to the table if you're going to out-compete your competition. You excepted looks out of it, so that makes it kind more of a list of personal achievements than what you bring to the attraction table.

Don't get me wrong a good quality is still a good quality, but I've seen a lot of guys that had a lot going for them but they didn't have the right, looks, appearance or presentation and so they didn't get far with women. Then I've seen reatarded acting going nowhere guys that did quite well. What I'm getting at is women's attraction seems to be based other things, and I think it's primarily appearance and presentation. Although other things don't hurt.

 

[Scaramouche]

Dear All,
What cold materialistic posts these are,some even mechanistic...Double entry bookkeeping has nothing on you guys,you ignore however the rogue card,in Love attraction is the Joker and if you can quantify this in dollars or psycho motor skills,"you'r a better Man than I am Gungadin"