what do women want?

[The Duke]

http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/insight-therapy/201308/what-do-women-want

the organizing principle of female sexuality is the desire to be desired. In her view, the delicate, tentative guy who politely thinks about you and asks if this is okay or that’s okay is a guy who may meet the expectations of your gender politics (treats me as an equal; is respectful of me; communicates with me) and your parents’ preferences, but he may well put you into a sexual coma--not despite these qualities, but because of them.

 

[Renegade357]

To make our life as difficult as possible.

 

[Stagger Lee]

In other words women are naturally wired to prefer be treated subservient. They just don't realize it or admit it. That's the shame that women strive to be treated as "equals" to men and to be treated nice or with care, but when they get that they don't like it.

Obviously women are not to be listened to or to dictate over men. In the past men use to ignore what women said and not take them seriously and did what they wanted to do. And women had no option but to go along with the man. Now with feminism and so many white knights women just run amok and don't have to acquiesce to any guy.

 

[Tictac]

'The desire to be desired' is not to be argued with. Accept it and work with it.

 

[Tictac]

'The desire to be desired' is not to be argued with. Accept it and work with it.

 

[SteR]

As a man who still believes in long-term monogamy/marriage, this bit stuck out in particular:

Moreover, the evidence suggests that women initiate divorce more often than men, and that they benefit less from marriage than do men on measures of health, happiness, and wealth. Additionally, as is well known to clinical psychologists and marriage counselors everywhere, many women who feel close to a loving partner nevertheless fail to feel passion for him. The Canadian researcher Meredith Chivers found that married women tend to lose their sexual interest in their husbands long before the husbands lose interest in their wives.

If monogamy, intimacy and communication are the engines of female desire, why do so many women fail to ignite with a familiar and faithful man? Why does their passion fizzle in marriage? Why will they seek to secretly graze in foreign pastures? Why do they not benefit in the monogamous arrangement more? Why do they break it up so readily?

Now my question here is whether monogamy is failing because women are biologically programmed to lose passion for their partners after a certain period of time or whether the modern man is failing to be a man and keeping his partner's desire? Considering all of this research is based off of modern research, is it really a surprise that married women are losing attraction to their husbands when the majority aren't even behaving like real men?

When I look around at most of the married couples I know, this generally seems to be the case. I know so many couples where the girl is the one wearing the trousers.. how can a woman lust after her partner when he's got no backbone?

What I'd be really keen to see is how a woman responds over a long period of time to a guy that really has his **** together and behaves like a man. If a man is acting as he should, then maybe that will maintain a woman's passion?

Thoughts?

 

[Alvafe]

As a man who still believes in long-term monogamy/marriage, this bit stuck out in particular:



Now my question here is whether monogamy is failing because women are biologically programmed to lose passion for their partners after a certain period of time or whether the modern man is failing to be a man and keeping his partner's desire? Considering all of this research is based off of modern research, is it really a surprise that married women are losing attraction to their husbands when the majority aren't even behaving like real men?

When I look around at most of the married couples I know, this generally seems to be the case. I know so many couples where the girl is the one wearing the trousers.. how can a woman lust after her partner when he's got no backbone?

What I'd be really keen to see is how a woman responds over a long period of time to a guy that really has his **** together and behaves like a man. If a man is acting as he should, then maybe that will maintain a woman's passion?

Thoughts?

if you think about the benefits woman get, simple woman want to marry tehn after they can divorce and no one out there will try to shame her like it happened before, a woman have a child? its ok her ex will pay for the child and most guys will just want to stay with her if she is hot (hell sometimes they don't even need to be), before a woman with child would be single for the rest of her life because no men of worth and valor would lose time with a woman like that now?

also media playing cards like you have to go after what you want, buy this and go for it does not help. everything today is jsut for a moment don't things are made to not be durable and will break after some times then they do same for marriages, they don't make shows of people choosing they weeding dress? my mom see one of these and when I was talking with her I heard things like this dress cost3k, 5k and so on. so tell me make a woman marry more tehn once would make her spend more? its all about to get and spend. in a world like this you really need to be something else to keep things good

 

[Stagger Lee]

As a man who still believes in long-term monogamy/marriage, this bit stuck out in particular:



Now my question here is whether monogamy is failing because women are biologically programmed to lose passion for their partners after a certain period of time or whether the modern man is failing to be a man and keeping his partner's desire? Considering all of this research is based off of modern research, is it really a surprise that married women are losing attraction to their husbands when the majority aren't even behaving like real men?

When I look around at most of the married couples I know, this generally seems to be the case. I know so many couples where the girl is the one wearing the trousers.. how can a woman lust after her partner when he's got no backbone?

What I'd be really keen to see is how a woman responds over a long period of time to a guy that really has his **** together and behaves like a man. If a man is acting as he should, then maybe that will maintain a woman's passion?

Thoughts?

I think the reason a lot of married women are like that is because a lot of them are out working and being hit on by other men and other people fill their head full of sh!t about you. Women who are stay at home housewives seem to be much more loyal, submissive and affectionate. Women out in the workplace simply see all this seemingly (but not really) greener pastures and bigger better deals.

Besides it shouldn't be a constant struggle with a woman about who wears the pants. The fact that a woman doesn't want to be submissive and subordinate is a sign she isn't really attracted to you, more than the other way around that she's not attracted because you are not making her be submissive and subordinate.

It's not easy being a married man or in a relationship with a backbone when the government and the whole society is saying men shouldn't dominate women. Add to that there's always some man willing to fvck your woman or someone trying to cause her to break up with you.

 

[Bokanovsky]

The basic premise of the article is that women want to be slvts but don't want to be though of a slvts. Nothing we didn't already know.

 

[Scaramouche]

Dear Howie,
"what do women want?".....Mate they don't know,so why ask us?
Last year I read "The Sex Diaries"by our own Bettina Arndt....The diaries written by couples details their most intimate feelings on a Day by Day basis...It was a very sad business,so few people are happy after a few years of marriage,even fewer have satisfactory Svex lives....The desperate sense of misery even futility in the thoughts of many of these poor wretches trapped in unhappy unfullfilling marriages made me even more certain,that with all its drawbacks the life of a Don Juan is the only way to go!

 

[sharkbeat]

Women want to be desired. Period (pun!).

There is nothing else that women want. She will respond the most to that burning lust you are giving to her. That look that mentally rips her shirt apart, and spreads her legs forcefully, as you pull her hair back, and those deep manly thrusts that tear all her logic and barriers.

Holy ****, I should write a romance novel.

 

[bluenorther]

I ditto SteR-- IMO, the Nice Guy Syndrome has to be THE leading cause of divorce in this country today. Robert Glover said it well: We're not just a generation of men raised by women, we're THREE generations, and working on a fourth.

"What women want" is a relationship where they don't have to do any of the hard thinking. They want "a man with a plan." He doesn't need to be an Alpha, btw. He just needs to know how to drive a relationship... which very few of us learn, starting out.
How many times have we heard "Where is this relationship going?" If they have to ask, then we're already in trouble.
Women expect a man to take the wheel and set things in motion, with a trip planned out and side tours along the way. If you're both in the back seat, waiting for the ride to start by itself, it never will.
Keep her mind too occupied to wonder "where is this going?" and she'll never have to ask.

 

[potato]

Women like a man who knows when to be a gentleman and when not to be a gentleman.

 

[Scaramouche]

Dear All,
Sure we all of us want to be desired.....Why do most people of all genders and races love Dogs....It's because a Dog shows unquestioning love and adulation...And importantly,Shows it...But seeing this as the universal reason for loving is a rather long bow to draw...Familiarity breeds contempt and you can fawn all you like to most Women,if they are bored or have more interesting prospects,they will just trample over the top of you to get what they want!

 

[sodbuster]

I take issue with the part of the study showing MEN benefit more from marriage. I'd say 75% of the divorced men I talk to have MORE money and happiness...even after getting screwed in Divorce court. It takes a couple years to get back to even, but then it's off to the races....

 

[Clench2465]

That is a million dollar question. All everybody here is doing is pretending to know. Since they're not logical creatures, nobody knows

 

[Zunder]

Who cares what women want?!
I no longer do, and neither should you.

Think of all the powerful men in the world in whatever field, good or bad--do you think they gave a sh!t what women thought of them, or what women wanted, as they rose to the top?

 

[The Duke]

Zunder, the more you know about your opponent, the more you can beat them at their own game.

 

[taiyuu_otoko]

There's a delicate balance between "wanting" her and "needing" her.

If you want her, but at the same time realize that she's easily replaceable, then it will come across as unbridled lust backed by insane confidence.

If you want her and only her, it could get creepy really quickly, especially if she hasn't decided she wants you and only you.

Of course, in order for the confident, unbridled lust to work, she's got to be comfortable feeling the heat of that lust. A lot of girls aren't.

Too shy, too self conscious, too worried about what people will think.

One size fits all never works anyhow. Just project whatever lust you're comfortable projecting, and find the girls that are comfortable accepting and enjoying that level of lust.

Plenty puzzy for everybody.

 

[Zarky]

Who cares what women want?!

Thank you, I've been saying this for years.

I don't care what they want, I care what it takes to get them to do what I want.