What do they have that most of us are lacking?

[TheGambino]

I appreciate this post because you seem to veer from the consensus that only fvucked-up guys join So Suave.

I've never understood the mentality that SS attracts losers. I was not a loser when I came here and I'm dam sure not a loser now. Wasn't bitter. Wasn't unsuccessful with women, either (though now I realize I could have done a lot better). I just have a much deeper and richer understand of the complexities of the male-female relationship. How many guys can say that?

No that's not what im saying. I said a lot here are hurt or had questions about a one oneitis woman who dumped or rejected him before they joined not saying 'losers'.

And the main thing I think is: We value women more then other guys do (Its just true, when I told my best buddy about sosuave he said what a waste of time i'd rather play call of duty and he will just jerk off thinking about that hb10 he saw in the mall and f*cking his uglyas hb3 current gf who he will marry eventually while he can do way better) , we want to invest in understanding them to develop our game in all ways. Main goal: Getting laid by all the girls you want and become the catch to them.

 

[zekko]

Monogamy is a fairly new system (100-150 yrs ago)

I don't know where you get this. 100 years? Monogamy has been around for thousands of years. Throughout history, there have usually been some sets of people practicing monogamy and others practicing polygamy.

Humans have a choice, they aren't locked into one lifestyle or the other. This is why humans have survived, they can adapt. They can choose whichever strategy works best for them, under the circumstances.

PUA theorists come up with some crazy sh!t sometimes.

 

[_sideways_]

It's not that we are lacking, the truth is:

We give more value to women overall. Yes we do. Also a lot on here are hurt or betrayed by ex's while believing in love. I also believe that we enjoy women more then other guys do. Other guys just find other hobbies or interests or wait it out til they meet the right girl, we want to get everything that's possible out of enjoying women. That's why we stick around on here. And guys don't say that doesn't count for you coz what are you doing here then everyday? The guys on here are just the guys that love women most and therefore invest in it. (sex, dating, attraction)

You had me at we enjoy/love women more.....other dudes are into other stuff.....like computers which is great....if Benjamin Franklin was out smashing chicks where would be? Probably celebrating some other dude but still....

 

[nismo-4]

I say stupidity because the less sharp a man is the easier it is for him to fall for female manipulations and view women in a positive light no matter what they do.

They need to spit out that blue pill!

I say unselfishness because these men often care more about making their woman happy and comfortable than they care about themselves. These are your "heros" who will jump in front of a bullet for a woman. I would never do that.

Bruno Mars says he'll catch a grenade for a woman. We would too, as long as the pin didn't get pulled.

Any man who cares more about women than himself is a man any woman is lucky to have --> Because she benefits greatly. If he is too stupid to see how he gets little out of the relationship outside of Facebook posts and other social status crap.. even better.

Hypergamy & Briffault's Law.

Read between the lines.

 

[Big Nuts]

OP: The worst error I made in life was your way of thinking.

Never assume everyone else is happy. The couples you see all happy in your circle of friends many times are in miserable, sexless relationships...if they're married, the guy is probably fuicked!

Kids??? Double fuicked

 

[Trump]

This seems like quite an obvious question and one that I've been asking myself for years. When I look at my close friends, acquaintances, people I've grown up with, many of my Facebook contacts, it strikes me just how many of them are in happy and secure relationships. They have no big dramas, they don't resort to crazy mind games or visit sites like this one for help. In fact, many of these guys we would consider to be beta males. Most of them are in average to poor shape, lack any obvious passion or adventure...in fact many of them look upto me for my creative talents and achievements, my size and physique, my social skills and my good looks.

You don't know they are happy. It's an image they have to project so they can improve their look and status to others. For the beta guys, being married means you can attract the opposite sex, who cares what goes on behind the scenes.

I realise that not everyone here wants that contented relationship that I talk of and this obviously doesn't apply to them, but what about those of us who keep getting knocked back by women we really like or getting dumped by our girlfriends?

Could it be that the information we learn from these sites/forums is not suitable for long term relationships? Could it be that we're just too eager to get women in our lives and try too hard?

In this day and age it's better to be married or have a girlfriend and be scared of her than be single.

 

[VladPatton]

Relax, man, don't buy into the hype. Everyone here made some excellent posts! Social media is complete büllṣhit. It's all smoke and mirrors so people can seem and feel like celebrities. Just focus on your happiness and ignore what everyone else is doing. Even the guy married to a Victoria's Secret model can be a no-puṣṣy-gettin AFC! You think he's Mr. Macho and bangin her all night? I don't. You have no idea what goes on behind their closed doors. Like so many things in life, there is a lot of büllṣhit out there.
Sad, but true.

 

[Pandora]

if Benjamin Franklin was out smashing chicks where would be? Probably celebrating some other dude but still....

I know what you mean bro but i gotta correct you on this one. Ben Franklin was smashing a lot of chicks. He was a playboy and known womanizer. He participated in group orgies and stuff like that. But i get what ur saying dont spend too much time chasing the tail at the detriment of accomplishment.

The fakeness of social media is why i deactivated my facebook. Facebook is the perfect blend of narcissism and voyeurism. Trust me bro...those dudes are not any happier than you are. On the bell curve of happiness most of us fall some where in the middle no matter what we do...single or miserably married lol.

 

[jglide123]

Jariel, I have actually asked myself the same question over the years, especially in my mid to late 20's, when most people are settling down. And like others have said, looks can be deceiving; you never know what goes on behind closed doors. However, I feel that the two main reasons people "put on airs" of happiness and contentment are:

1) The desire to impress others. They want the reaction from other people that you expressed from viewing their pictures on facebook. They want people to think, "Wow, what a happy couple! I wish I had that....(sigh)."

2) They post pictures and appear as the "perfect" couple for the same reason men buy expensive sports cars and women wear expensive jewelry: status. People, especially women, view marriage as an accomplishment. So many women look at celebrity couples such as Brad and Angelina or Prince William and Kate, and have ambitions of being perceived as a "power couple," especially if one person has a high-paying job. It is still a badge of honor for many women to marry up and date a doctor or lawyer. Whether the man has a 10 or the woman has a provider, people crave status and want other people to recognize what they have, hence the pictures on facebook.

Anyways, there are many other reasons. These are simply some of my thoughts on the subject. Hope that contributed!

 

[adam225]

It's not that we are lacking, the truth is:

We give more value to women overall. Yes we do. Also a lot on here are hurt or betrayed by ex's while believing in love. I also believe that we enjoy women more then other guys do. Other guys just find other hobbies or interests or wait it out til they meet the right girl, we want to get everything that's possible out of enjoying women. That's why we stick around on here. And guys don't say that doesn't count for you coz what are you doing here then everyday? The guys on here are just the guys that love women most and therefore invest in it. (sex, dating, attraction)

I see this forum more as a reality check and how to become a REAL MAN more than anything. Yeah, women are great fun, but at the end of the day my main concern is ME. You'll never catch me posting up FR's because I simply don't care enough to do so. I couldn't care less if I failed to pick up some SKANK. Each to their own....

 

[zekko]

I've seen a lot of threads like this posted over the years. Usually the reaction is "Those people act happy, but they're miserable behind closed doors". Well, I'm sure a lot of them are unhappy, but I imagine some of them are happy too. I was happily married until everything went to sh!t.

I think if you've learned anything from being around here, it's that "happiness" is more about the person himself than the circumstances that he is in.

 

[hockeyfreak79]

I've been calling FB, FAKEBOOK for awhile now.Yeah it might come off as a downer to plates but I could give to fvcks. There is tons of thruth in this thread. I was that guy for a good 5 years or so. Overall, I was pretty damn happy until it went to shvt.

 

[CHICAGO27]

No way!

My former college roommate is a typical miserable beta. His life mission was to "get a girl". He got a nice fatty who further emasculated him and now I rarely hear from him.

He has been married for about five years now and his former "fatty" wife has figured out that if she loses weight she can get the attention she wants.

I made the mistake to try to check in with him a few months ago and his response was a picture of his slimmed down wife.

LOL

I'm waiting for the call from him in the next year that she has "left him".

Men, it's better to be alone than be not!

 

[Serenity]

Nobody who announce their happiness is truly happy, those who do might be close but it will fade.

The only thing that will bring happiness is honesty and integrity. Getting there requires massive sacrifice if you have lived a life of lies. It requires you to face the harsh truths about yourself. The main thing that hold people back is fear, and that fear misuse your creativity to make excuses rather than solutions.

When you get deep enough you can "smell" peoples lies, you literally become a master of reading people. It's in the details of body language and expressions, but you look at the whole picture. You instantly notice if their words match their expression. This is not a rational process, it's more about listening to your gut feelings. It's not always accurate, but it's more accurate than average.

This takes a complex understanding beyond what words can clearly explain, but it seems that few get there. Because a man in his integrity gets criticized purely for being who he is. Some people in their right mind are able to recognize it and appreciate the honesty.

Many of the couples who seem happy have just given up. They are both betas who lie to each other and they accept it. They are unbalanced and unable to move forward efficiently. Eventually one of them figures out they can control the other, and the other just keeps accepting. Sooner or later the dominant part will get bored and leave or the submissive part will step up and walk away. There are millions of examples of this, and even the best of us falls for this.

Freedom comes at the price of your ego.

 

[JaegerPilot217]

OP: The worst error I made in life was your way of thinking.

Never assume everyone else is happy. The couples you see all happy in your circle of friends many times are in miserable, sexless relationships...if they're married, the guy is probably fuicked!

Kids??? Double fuicked

true even if they are not happy in the relationship at least they are getting laid, it gets boring having to rely on your hand all the time, not all of us want to go to a hooker or an escort, as for what they have and the ones that struggle don't have, I'm guessing it was up bringing, I think that was discussed in the mature thread, forgot how many pages back it is

 

[lanba]

Yes it's all about upbringing. My parents were basically antisocial with few if any friends, plus they were older than most parents when they had me and were not able to create a stable home life where I could bring friends round or go to other people's houses without worrying about them wanting to come to mine. They basically could not give a **** for social norms and this is at least a positive trait that has rubbed off on me, but it made childhood difficult to say the least.

I notice the popular kids had clean cut parents with apparently normal social lives. They all had identikit jobs with identikit homes and identikit children, and naturally all these unremarkable undistinguished people started having lots of sex with each other while people like me who came from the sidelines remained there.

 

[Who Dares Win]

Yes it's all about upbringing. My parents were basically antisocial with few if any friends, plus they were older than most parents when they had me and were not able to create a stable home life where I could bring friends round or go to other people's houses without worrying about them wanting to come to mine. They basically could not give a **** for social norms and this is at least a positive trait that has rubbed off on me, but it made childhood difficult to say the least.

I notice the popular kids had clean cut parents with apparently normal social lives. They all had identikit jobs with identikit homes and identikit children, and naturally all these unremarkable undistinguished people started having lots of sex with each other while people like me who came from the sidelines remained there.

Totally agree, the impact of your family in your early life is critic, I noticed the same.

All the kids getting good marks, being socially introduced and fitting in the hierarchy were all coming from stable families while at the opposite side you had kids from broken houses having lot of problems which created a snowball effect and made it even worse.

I guess the same applies in the dating, wedding field.

I come not from a disfunctional family but not even a decent one and had problems wll my life due to it, only recently I somehow managed to fix it up.

My gf comes from a stable loving family and I can see the difference, parents care about the sons and they care back about their parents, they have lunch togheter, help each other at the supermarket and so on.

One of the many reason why I like to stay with her its because while Im quitting casual sex with cute women (and right now I can), Im in the position to have that stability and love that came impossible for the first part of my life, even small things as getting up and finding her cooking for me and waking me up with a smile and a kiss make my life definitely better.

Just to know that somebody loves you take away a hugh weight from you, you can definitely work,study and perform better in such a state and this applies not only in studies or work but even in human relationships.

 

[lanba]

That's what I'm hoping to find for myself but I'm finding it hard.

 

[TheCWord]

The main thing that hold people back is fear, and that fear misuse your creativity to make excuses rather than solutions.

This inspires me and makes me feel like complete **** all at the same time.

 

[TheCWord]

Is this thread too cynical?

I don't ask that rhetorically, I'm genuinely curious if this is a fair assessment of the happy couples OP refers to or is this just a bunch of bitter guys being cynical? (Disclaimer: I don't think everyone posting on here is bitter, this is a good discussion with some smart posts)

What if one of us, such as Who Dares Win, becomes genuinely happy in a relationship? Will the rest of SoSuave accuse us of being fake?