What do men want from women, beyond sex?

[oceanlover1970]

It seems like most of these discussions are about how to get laid and how to not get played. What about after the chase, when it's down to the realities of being in a relationship with another human being? Beyond sex, what do y'all really want from us?

 

[Dirtheart]

I'm one of the guys looking for a long term relationship and I came here to learn how to make it work.

Maybe I'm in a minority when I say I'm not interested in casual sex or the quantity of women I can date. For me, honestly, the ultimate goal is to meet one woman whose company I enjoy and who I could happily spend my life with and, most importantly, a woman who feels the same about me.

 

[neobrood]

The personality of the chick is MORE IMPORTANT to me than looks.

Once upon a time, I was reduced from bad@ss hater to a nice puppy dog... by an average lookin chick. Once upon a time, I got so seduced that I'd do anything for that average looking woman...

Why? Cuz of her personality, the way she talks, the way she looks me in the eyes, and the way she smiles. She always in a happy mood and her happiness is contagious. I become good mood again even after a shltty day just talkin to her on the phone or chatting to her in msn. Her presence alone made me feel GENUINE COMPLETE happiness... I fell in luv with her. I wanted to marry her.

=============

But since she rejected me, and only LJBFed me, I'm out lookin for chicks right now. Flirting with every woman I can find... Talkin to em and all...

But I don't feel interest in ALL OF THE WOMEN I MET SO FAR. I don't feel "complete genuine" happiness. I only feel entertained and I only use em to practice DJ skills. They're all too typical and boring...


I AM LOOKING FOR QUALITY WOMEN!!! ANY IDEA WHERE TO FIND ANY OF THOSE?!?

 

[SourFox]

A very important aspect of her personality is her level of self-esteem. If she has low self-esteem, that you are going to have to treat her like a naughty 10 year old. I really hate doing that.

 

[ShortTimer]

Originally posted by oceanlover1970
What about after the chase, when it's down to the realities of being in a relationship with another human being? Beyond sex, what do y'all really want from us?

By the time a woman develops anything of interest about herself, she has become too old to be sexually desirable. The women who are the ages of most desirability have nothing else to offer but their holes.

Originally posted by neobrood
I AM LOOKING FOR QUALITY WOMEN!!! ANY IDEA WHERE TO FIND ANY OF THOSE?!? [/B]

I met one recently, she was eating ice cream with Santa Clause and the Easter Bunny.

 

[SuperFlex]

At this point in my life, i only want sex. But i'd be willing to have a short term relationship with a girl.

The way i see it is the girls are there for sex. If i wanna chill or have a laugh ill go and hang around with my mates. I'm only 18 i haven't got time for the bull**** of a ltr.

 

[maranathaman]

I LOVE SEX!!

SEX is great and one of the most important things to me.
However, I also very much enjoy affection, romance etc.
Also, if a girl looks hot, but she's got a crappy personality, I might be willing to put-up with her long enough to bone-her,
but that's all she's good-for in my book.

 

[NewMan]

Your 34 - you maybe better off posting in the mature forum.

 

[OzzyBoy]

I also think that personality is more important than looks. I would be lying if i said looks didn't matter - they do but not as important as personality.

 

[EveryGurlsWish22]

Beyond sex, women want a man whose in control of himself and his enviroment. Women also want a challenge. Provide a woman with these things and you'll be set for life. Oh yea, Women hate pussies because they have one. They need a man with some balls. Show yours and you'll have no stop *****.

 

[WestCoaster]

Let's be honest: Women don't know what they want

Look, I've seen 500 different responses on what women want. We don't KNOW, OK.

One of the first rules of DJism is to quit analyzing women and their actions (read "Kiss of Death" by Allen Thompson on this site). We don't know their motives, actions, and desires. We know they're flakey and illogical most of the time, that's it.

Some of you say they want companionship ... oh, is that why 90 percent of them are attracted to the bad boy, who is afraid of intimacy?

Some say they want good conversation ... you haven't met some of the airheads I've dated in the past.

And on another thread that is getting quite long, they (and the media) say they want a "best friend" ... and we know that is all out complete B.S.

We as men do NOT know what they want, period. Each woman is completely different than the other and it's virtually impossible to come up with a set of things that they want. Also, the second they tell you what they want, they're doing the exact opposite. Most guys I know are very consistent in their thinking and actions. If they're slobs, they're slobs and don't hide it. If they want a best friend, they have a best friend. If they want passion, they seek passion.

Women say they want companionship and actively seek the most unlikely person to provide this compansionship. And when they've been used up by these guys, they actively seek another guy just like him (see the term high divorce rate for more information).

So honestly, we don't know what they want.

Work on yourself, your inner qualities and don't worry what women want .. and certainly look how their actions don't tie into their words.

 

[Falcon Eye]

Re: Let's be honest: Women don't know what they want

Originally posted by WestCoaster
Work on yourself, your inner qualities and don't worry what women want .. and certainly look how their actions don't tie into their words.

Words to live by people. The only thing that we, as mature men, really need to seek are ways to facilitate personal and professional development. I've found that if I do this, good things usually follow, in all areas of life.

 

[WaterTiger]

The gymnastics on this thread amazes me! In 14 replies it's gone from "What do GUYS want?" to "Women don't know what the hell they want" (Sad, but true!)

OceanLover1970, your question sounded a little loaded to me. Why don't you tell us what YOU think a guy wants besides sex? What qualities should he be looking for?

 

[gentleman193]

good question

I'm looking for an intelligent, refined and loyal beauty. Someone I can take to U St. jazz clubs one night to soak in the scene and a high-level foreign policy debate downtown the next to add something interesting to the conversation. She ought to enjoy all kinds of outdoor activities, have a talented creative streak to match my own, and an equally interesting life without me.

I like women who are a bit fiesty -- no doormats, please -- but only when they understand that a relationship requires only one man, which at all times will be me, even if we are hopelessly lost and there is a gas station attendant who looks to her like he must know the answer to everything from the meaning of life to where we are headed tonight, probably due to the grease stain on his jacket. Sense of style is critical; so is compassion, justice, and good judgement in practical matters such as when to stop talking.

As far as physical qualities go, she just has to be shorter and weigh less than me. A beautiful face and nice tits are not optional -- but poise and grace may compensate for many other deficiencies.

So, your basic perfect woman. No surprise I'm single

Note: Contrary to popular myth I don't need a cook (I'm very good) or a housekeeper (they are cheap) nor anybody to dress me (I put on the fine threads when I feel like it and walk around in a wifebeater the rest of the day; no woman has ever improved on this formula).

As for sex, I can't see ever putting all my eggs in one basket. If you offer a woman sufficient value you can keep a hot intern/secretary/maid/etc. for hardcore fukking. If your woman has confidence in her own value she will see there is no real threat from the airhead. In fact, I think it's a matter of respect not to use your main squeeze to satisfy your most base needs. The answer to the madonna/vvhore syndrome that women gripe about is simple: a man needs one of each!

Additional note: If my perfect woman wanted to boff the waiter or poolboy to keep things even that would be fine with me. But in my experience I've never been able to negotiate this kind of deal where we each get to keep one hottie on the side. I think this foolish determination to find ONE perfect person for everything is what fukks up most LTR's. Then you are guaranteed to be disappointed -- or else you end up breaking the promise and creating hurt feelings.

Hmm, one final note to self -- these kind of posts are an absolute waste of time. Daydreaming . . .

 

[PuertoRican_Lover]

I want a woman who is a 'doormat' who says "Welcome" everytime I step on her and into my castle! One who obeys all of my commands as given and does not question the authority from which it came!! What else can a man ask for from a woman?????

 

[WaterTiger]

Re: good question

Originally posted by gentleman193
I'm looking for an intelligent, refined and loyal beauty...

...but only when they understand that a relationship requires only one man, which at all times will be me

Additional note: If my perfect woman wanted to boff the waiter or poolboy to keep things even that would be fine with me.

A loyal "one man" woman who has your permission to boink the pool boy...right.

I have no idea why you're single either. (Unless your pool boy is REALLY ugly)

 

[Austin Allegro]

'I think this foolish determination to find ONE perfect person for everything is what fukks up most LTR's.'

AMEN.

This is the what every agony aunt and AFC 'relationship counsellor' should be saying.

 

[WestCoaster]

Believe it or not, I like flaws

Oh, not flaws like b--chiness, meaness, lack of fitness or grooming, but I like little flaws that make people human. Lord knows I have my share.

I've dated a couple women with big noses, one was gorgeous, but she had a big schnoz ... it didn't bother me. Seemed human to me. I've dated women who have stumbled a bit in life and picked themselves up. I've dated overweight, too thin, tall, short ... no one is perfect. But it made all of them unique.

I like the humaness of people. As a DJ, whomever I'm with I feel good about and proud to be with them. I don't worry about what society thinks. In my AFC days I searched for perfection and it never works.

As for boinking the pool boy -- no thanks. I want a woman who wants one man.

 

[Draykers]

I want a woman that I can connect with on an intellectual level. She has to take care of herself though too; meaning no fatties, no smelly women, and she has to be beautiful. Charming is a word that is often used for a woman like that. That is the kind of woman I seek. If I go out to the gym it would be nice if she asked to go with. When I come home, I would like to be able to call her and talk about our days and if we felt like it, hook up later for some snuggling or hot fukkin. I want a woman that can take care of herself so that she doesn't always depend on me for every little thing. Last thing is, she has to respect me and my wishes as I would do for her, as long as it was all in reason.

 

[gentleman193]

>> I have no idea why you're single either. (Unless your pool boy is REALLY ugly)

LOL . . . or fictional