What do i do when she says....

[SIDEBOARD]

Alright so heres my situation, a few days ago I met this chick through a common friend, I did most of the techniques given on this site, and I'm seemingly scoring, since after the day I met the chick, we went to a concert, supposedly our common friend was coming, but backed out at the last minute, so it was only me and the girl left, and guess what, she didn't back out going with me alone. I've seen some indications of interest, and shes seen me indicating interest.

So here's the problem, i feel like in a few days time, shes gonna tell me something like this, "I like someone else" or something similar, so what do I do when she does say that?

 

[nicenomore]

Alright so heres my situation, a few days ago I met this chick through a common friend, I did most of the techniques given on this site, and I'm seemingly scoring, since after the day I met the chick, we went to a concert, supposedly our common friend was coming, but backed out at the last minute, so it was only me and the girl left, and guess what, she didn't back out going with me alone. I've seen some indications of interest, and shes seen me indicating interest.

So here's the problem, i feel like in a few days time, shes gonna tell me something like this, "I like someone else" or something similar, so what do I do when she does say that?

She came with you alone: major IOI...

but why the heck are you screwing up your head thinking what she might say(and note , that possiblity is actually quite less) The more you think that way , the more negative you'll act. Instead , think shes gonna say I love you and propose to you very soon. You'll be in a better frame of mind and react better. IMHO, you must slowly escalate kino. You'll surely never hear "I like someone else " again.

 

[SIDEBOARD]

She came with you alone: major IOI...

but why the heck are you screwing up your head thinking what she might say(and note , that possiblity is actually quite less) The more you think that way , the more negative you'll act. Instead , think shes gonna say I love you and propose to you very soon. You'll be in a better frame of mind and react better. IMHO, you must slowly escalate kino. You'll surely never hear "I like someone else " again.

Well technically her brother(who happens to be a friend) came but he knew that I liked her and left us alone during the concert, he like kept disappearing, but the chick didn't look for her bro except for when she needed him. I did some kino, when i was pulling her towards the front rows(i was pulling her first by the wrist, then the back(or shoulder) then the waist. Oh was it right for me to buy her a drink?(Iced tea only) and hold her bag when we were in the mosh pit?

 

[nicenomore]

Well technically her brother(who happens to be a friend) came but he knew that I liked her and left us alone during the concert, he like kept disappearing, but the chick didn't look for her bro except for when she needed him. I did some kino, when i was pulling her towards the front rows(i was pulling her first by the wrist, then the back(or shoulder) then the waist. Oh was it right for me to buy her a drink?(Iced tea only) and hold her bag when we were in the mosh pit?

read this article:

http://www.sosuave.com/articles/goodmen.htm

this well help you know whether buying iced tea for her was right or not..

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

...So here's the problem, i feel like in a few days time, shes gonna tell me something like this, "I like someone else" or something similar, so what do I do when she does say that?

I don't get it. Why do guys disqualify themselves without even attempting to make any headway? What's the purpose of just sitting around expecting to be 'nexted'?

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

...I did some kino, when i was pulling her towards the front rows(i was pulling her first by the wrist, then the back(or shoulder) then the waist.

Not bad but don't be afraid to take her hand to lead her. Her hand's reaction is an easy way to tell if she's feeling comfortable with you. This doesn't necessarily mean that she's interested in you, just comfortable (still a good thing).

Oh was it right for me to buy her a drink?(Iced tea only) and hold her bag when we were in the mosh pit?

NICE GUY ALERT!!! NICE GUY ALERT!!!

 

[asdfghjkl]

You should have made a move at the concert, she was with you, alone... she wanted you to kiss her.

Oh was it right for me to buy her a drink?(Iced tea only) and hold her bag when we were in the mosh pit?

No, based on what I'm reading about you, you seem like your head is in the right place but your still a nice little AFC. So, for you the best things to do would be don't do anything too nice like that. Tell her no, you won't hold her bag (unless she has a valid reason, and then only for a second) and don't even offer to buy her a drink.

 

[nicenomore]

I don't get it. Why do guys disqualify themselves without even attempting to make any headway? What's the purpose of just sitting around expecting to be 'nexted'?

totally true...

we often think we are unsuitable for them , even though it might be other way round.

Why do guys disqualify themselves without even attempting to make any headway?

Francisco , great line , I need to paste it somewhere

 

[SIDEBOARD]

Well, I knew she was gonna say something like "I like someone else" cause our common friend and her brother were warning me. And today it did happen, she didn't say "I like someone else" but it was totally different, but WAAAY harsher, if you'd have read my other thread, the one about my rep that's constantly getting thrashed and the thing that happened was this:

Just before I rode the bus, our common friend called me and told me to talk to her and so I did. She told me that she was hearing rumors about me, she told me about the stuff that I did but it was way off from how I saw it. According to me, I only told about what happened with me and her during the concert to my closest buds, I told them about how I kino'ed her and stuff, I even said to my friend, "You think holding her bag and buying her Iced Tea was fine?".

Now the stuff she said to me today, was distorted versions of what I told my buds(people who hate me probably heard our conversation and tada, smear campaign) among the stuff she said was, "Holding my bag was not a score(and read what I said to my friend, I wasn't sure whether that was right), another was, "I HEARD YOU WERE MOLESTING ME WITHOUT NOTICING"(referring to the kino's).

I think that she believes those rumors, now I didn't say a thing because mainly she was mad and stuff, so as not to incriminate myself in her eyes, I did nothing, and I plan to set things straight come Monday so thats she's cooled off hopefully(cause its Friday here).

Now what do I do?

 

[nicenomore]

Well, I knew she was gonna say something like "I like someone else" cause our common friend and her brother were warning me. And today it did happen, she didn't say "I like someone else" but it was totally different, but WAAAY harsher, if you'd have read my other thread, the one about my rep that's constantly getting thrashed and the thing that happened was this:

Just before I rode the bus, our common friend called me and told me to talk to her and so I did. She told me that she was hearing rumors about me, she told me about the stuff that I did but it was way off from how I saw it. According to me, I only told about what happened with me and her during the concert to my closest buds, I told them about how I kino'ed her and stuff, I even said to my friend, "You think holding her bag and buying her Iced Tea was fine?".

Now the stuff she said to me today, was distorted versions of what I told my buds(people who hate me probably heard our conversation and tada, smear campaign) among the stuff she said was, "Holding my bag was not a score(and read what I said to my friend, I wasn't sure whether that was right), another was, "I HEARD YOU WERE MOLESTING ME WITHOUT NOTICING"(referring to the kino's).

I think that she believes those rumors, now I didn't say a thing because mainly she was mad and stuff, so as not to incriminate myself in her eyes, I did nothing, and I plan to set things straight come Monday so thats she's cooled off hopefully(cause its Friday here).

Now what do I do?

Poof!!!! That’s one heck of stuff about you.....

My advice: don’t ever tell anything to your friends. Stuff spreads fast, esp. in High School/college. Same thing happened to me, told my buds about a girl I like and....tada... everyone knew about it.
Plus, no offence meant, but do you think your buds know “the game”??? Even my best friend doesn’t know of my online identity and that’s good, cuz it’s safe....You never know when it might be used against you. Plus the fact he still believes it’s good to pay for dates, at least you get an hour of company.

Now to the main problem: the girl

My advice: meet her on Monday. I'd best remove the doubts face to face than any other way. Take her to a common venue such as cafeteria etc if she agrees where there are people so that she will feel safe. I'd surely though ask her where did she hear all this stuff of "molesting" and "score" etc.
And of ours, you can say that’s all bull$h!t being spread about you. Plus ask her (that’s what I’d do) if she believes all that.(if she says yes , I'd probably walk away saying I dont want a harassment suit against me) In case if she tells the names of the guys, ask the particular guy/girl in front of her. You’ll know all the guys who back bite.

 

[SIDEBOARD]

I see, I had your advice in mind. Here's what I did today, after the incident. I tried to relax my mind and think of what to do and say to her come Monday, Heres what I came up with:

First I call/text/IM her asking permission if we can talk somewhere on Monday. If she says yes, I'm gonna first ask her where she heard those rumors. If she doesn't say I'll say this first. "Alright I'm gonna explain my side of the story, it's your choice to believe it or not, all I'm asking you is, are you willing to listen?" If she says shes willing to listen I'm going to tell her what I told my friends exactly(so I'm gonna tell you guys the story too). "Monday morning when I entered school, I had a smile like the greatest thing happened to me, of course my buds were interested and asked so I told them the about the concert, I was happy cause you came with me,(well I gotta tell her that since THAT was the reason I was happy) and I counted that as the score, now our common friend knew all about what happened with me holding your bag from your bro, so he joked about that(Ill tell her what the joke was) and I even asked (name of other friend) if holding your bag and buying you Iced tea was right, also I told them about the times I dragged you to the front rows of the pit. I don't know who you got the story that I was counting the bag thing as a score, I don't know who told you that me leading you deeper into the pit was me trying to molest you, and frankly I don't care, all I want you to do is trust me and don't believe the versions other people say."

That was the stuff I was thinking of saying today but couldn't cause it might have made her madder.

Oh heres another thing, a friend of mine(who gave me the link to this site) told me that I shouldn't talk to her and tell her my side since she didn't ask for my version of the story, If she did in fact have any interest in me she would have questioned the stories that was told to her. Now since she didn't ask me or question the story maybe I should move on.

So what would be the better course of action? Telling my side, or moving on?

Oh and by the way nicenomore thanks for the helpful hints man, really appreciate it.

 

[asdfghjkl]

I see, I had your advice in mind. Here's what I did today, after the incident. I tried to relax my mind and think of what to do and say to her come Monday, Heres what I came up with:

First I call/text/IM her asking permission if we can talk somewhere on Monday. If she says yes, I'm gonna first ask her where she heard those rumors. If she doesn't say I'll say this first. "Alright I'm gonna explain my side of the story, it's your choice to believe it or not, all I'm asking you is, are you willing to listen?" If she says shes willing to listen I'm going to tell her what I told my friends exactly(so I'm gonna tell you guys the story too). "Monday morning when I entered school, I had a smile like the greatest thing happened to me, of course my buds were interested and asked so I told them the about the concert, I was happy cause you came with me,(well I gotta tell her that since THAT was the reason I was happy) and I counted that as the score, now our common friend knew all about what happened with me holding your bag from your bro, so he joked about that(Ill tell her what the joke was) and I even asked (name of other friend) if holding your bag and buying you Iced tea was right, also I told them about the times I dragged you to the front rows of the pit. I don't know who you got the story that I was counting the bag thing as a score, I don't know who told you that me leading you deeper into the pit was me trying to molest you, and frankly I don't care, all I want you to do is trust me and don't believe the versions other people say."

That was the stuff I was thinking of saying today but couldn't cause it might have made her madder.

Oh heres another thing, a friend of mine(who gave me the link to this site) told me that I shouldn't talk to her and tell her my side since she didn't ask for my version of the story, If she did in fact have any interest in me she would have questioned the stories that was told to her. Now since she didn't ask me or question the story maybe I should move on.

So what would be the better course of action? Telling my side, or moving on?

Oh and by the way nicenomore thanks for the helpful hints man, really appreciate it.

I would definitely tell my side of the story, just to clear the air. She may not be interested in you, but if you tell her the rumors were fake at least she wont think your a creep.

But... why would you wait until monday to tell her, why not right now? I used to think like you (I would plan and plan in my head but no actions would ever come from it) until i realized no time is better than the present to do what you have to do.

Call her up, tell her your story, leave it at that for now and see what she does.

 

[GaryUranga]

my advice and its what i always do, ignore her and let her come to you, she will

 

[SIDEBOARD]

But... why would you wait until monday to tell her, why not right now? I used to think like you (I would plan and plan in my head but no actions would ever come from it) until i realized no time is better than the present to do what you have to do.

Well cause schools are different here in the Philippines, the government doesn't do much for education, like public schools are for the "squatters" only, if your family is well enough, you have to go to a private school, and hence I'm in a private school. So your type of schools aren't used here(The one like there should be one public school every district I think) Sure there are several private schools in one district, but there are like tons of other people from different districts that go to school in one private school. So She lives in a different district WAY far from I live, and I don't have a car yet, and of course I can't ask her to go to the nearest mall between us since she may be pissed.

 

[nicenomore]

I see, I had your advice in mind. Here's what I did today, after the incident. I tried to relax my mind and think of what to do and say to her come Monday, Heres what I came up with:

First I call/text/IM her asking permission if we can talk somewhere on Monday. If she says yes, I'm gonna first ask her where she heard those rumors. If she doesn't say I'll say this first. "Alright I'm gonna explain my side of the story, it's your choice to believe it or not, all I'm asking you is, are you willing to listen?" If she says shes willing to listen I'm going to tell her what I told my friends exactly(so I'm gonna tell you guys the story too). "Monday morning when I entered school, I had a smile like the greatest thing happened to me, of course my buds were interested and asked so I told them the about the concert, I was happy cause you came with me,(well I gotta tell her that since THAT was the reason I was happy) and I counted that as the score, now our common friend knew all about what happened with me holding your bag from your bro, so he joked about that(Ill tell her what the joke was) and I even asked (name of other friend) if holding your bag and buying you Iced tea was right, also I told them about the times I dragged you to the front rows of the pit. I don't know who you got the story that I was counting the bag thing as a score, I don't know who told you that me leading you deeper into the pit was me trying to molest you, and frankly I don't care, all I want you to do is trust me and don't believe the versions other people say."

That was the stuff I was thinking of saying today but couldn't cause it might have made her madder.

Oh heres another thing, a friend of mine(who gave me the link to this site) told me that I shouldn't talk to her and tell her my side since she didn't ask for my version of the story, If she did in fact have any interest in me she would have questioned the stories that was told to her. Now since she didn't ask me or question the story maybe I should move on.

So what would be the better course of action? Telling my side, or moving on?

Oh and by the way nicenomore thanks for the helpful hints man, really appreciate it.

u know what ..I wouldnt even tell her the fact that I told my buds. You'll come off more like "kis$ and tell" guys , who tell all. My advice , be discreet about women. I never tell my pals anything about the girls I meet, places I go etc.

I'd just ask her whether more than anyone did she think I was scoring with her , or that I was molesting her. If she didnt feel that way , then why listen to others. Plus how many guys of your school were there who actually saw it?
Just go over the story dude.

Or maybe as asdfghjkl said , call her up , instead of waiting the whole week end and just try to clear the air. My option would be more relevant if you were gonna see her the other day. At least you haven kept her waiting and made her madder by listening to more rumors. Plus , of course , she would be more willing to meet up with you on Monday.


Now for your second part , definately I'd tell my side of story. Nothing else , it clears the misconception and the rumors.

 

[penkitten]

with this girl :
ignore her a little. when people ask you stuff, just say "whatever" . stop telling them personal information because they will destroy you behind your back.

future fyi:
theres not much time for sipping on tea in a mosh pit. so save the tea for after you leave the pit.

men dont hold bags in a mosh pit and women with bags end up getting knocked down. (ive seen clothed chicks go in and come out nekkid before.)

next time, i suggest you make sure the hot honeys dont get crushed in the pit by getting right up next to them and kino'ing up the protection. just say "hey my name's xxx and i would sure hate to see such a tiny thing get crushed in here." dude, she wont leave your side.
and if that doesnt get her, when the pit starts pushing , push a muther off the chick.



ok whos ready to go pal around in a mosh pit with me ?

 

[nicenomore]

with this girl :
ignore her a little. when people ask you stuff, just say "whatever" . stop telling them personal information because they will destroy you behind your back.

future fyi:
theres not much time for sipping on tea in a mosh pit. so save the tea for after you leave the pit.

men dont hold bags in a mosh pit and women with bags end up getting knocked down. (ive seen clothed chicks go in and come out nekkid before.)

QUOTE]

totally true , especially about not telling your friends specifics. Jealousy is a powerful emotion.

also the fact that what are bags doing in a mosh pit???

 

[SIDEBOARD]

Well the concert was after school and it was to be done in the school gym(its a BIG gym) so she dragged her bag along. + we drank the tea when the band was preparing their equipment.

So I should tell her as soon as humanly possible? Yeah but wouldn't I come out as a desperate dude who wants her trust back(although I do)?

 

[nicenomore]

Well the concert was after school and it was to be done in the school gym(its a BIG gym) so she dragged her bag along. + we drank the tea when the band was preparing their equipment.

So I should tell her as soon as humanly possible? Yeah but wouldn't I come out as a desperate dude who wants her trust back(although I do)?

IMHO, gaining trust isn't bad at all. Just dont be desperate. Some wounds time alone can heal.

Its kind of like this, dont go overboard in clarifyng side. Once you do it , over,thats it. She may say that its fine etc, but only when she sees you more , spends time etc will she actually believe it.

That is what takes time.

 

[SIDEBOARD]

Could you give an example of being overboard?