What Are You Guys Thinking?

[Gipper]

I’m an understanding guy. No, really.

I consider myself very open-minded and willing to learn about new things. So, I’m kinda puzzled about some posts that have shown up consistently. Namely, I’m curious as to why some of you are so obsessed with pursuing one “special” girl.

As most of you guys know, I am a big proponent of dating more than one girl in order to weed out flakey chicks in a more efficient manner. This technique has worked wonders for me; I’ve dated about 15-17 chicks and over the course of about two years, managed to narrow my selection down to one chick that I enjoy being with. I haven’t really given up trying to talk you into pursuing more than one girl at a time, but I guess I need more background info in order to comprehend you guys better. I think seducing multiple chicks is great DJ behavior, but apparently most of you guys disagree with me.

So, what’s up with this guys? Help me understand. Why are so many of you unwilling to date more than one girl at a time? I promise not to flame you or mock you in any way (although I can’t speak for Giovanni Casanova, ha ha); I just want to understand.

Gipper


------------------
"There's nothing wrong with letting the girls know you're money, and that you want to party.
-Trent, from "Swingers"

"Keep your girlfriend away from me,
Just advice I’m giving you for free,
Wanna have every thing I see,
So keep your girlfriend away from me..."
-Local H, from "Here Comes The Zoo"

 

[Take No Dirt]

Hey Gipper! Great to see you!

While growing up, most of us dudes were conditioned by society and the movies to seek that "special" gal who would wow us and that we would marry and settle down to a life of bliss. This brainwashing has ordered the way we date girls. We're always looking for that knockout chick and we discount those girls that don't light up the bulb in our brain.

Now that we're at this DJ website and learning that there's no one particular special female but thousands out there who fit that special category, some of us dudes are dating multiple women. But, AFC habits are difficult to shake off. We may be dating 3 or 4 women at a time, but there's always that ranking in our mind, i.e., one girl stands above the rest of them. (It would be nice if all 4 women were about the same.) So, we concentrate on the top ranked one and we don't feel like spending the same time and effort on the others. That's human nature to want to date the No. 1 more than the less spectacular ones.

 

[Amlothi]

Gipper I totally don't disagree with you. Read my investment strategy post for my thoughts, I don't feel like repeating myself here.

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"There are no such things as mixed signals when it comes to women, there is reality and what the guy wants to be reality." - Don Phenom

 

[Don the Legend]

TND welcome back!

I haven't seen you posting in a while. Good to see you back.

Take Care,

Legend

 

[Matt ala Casanova]

I agree with TND, we do tend to follow the traditional role of finding 'the one!' Unfortunately, the one usually fvck's ya, marries ya, gives you a kid, then divorces your a$$ and takes all your money.

Not always....but some have to learn that way. I enjoy being un-married, but do like to have a woman who treats me right in my life. Yeah I keep the relationship going because she knows that I am being chased by other woman, I am tactful and don't throw it in her face, but its in the back of her mind. Being a DJ and being aplayer are two different animals, if your state of mind is of a DJ then you attract and project that and woman want that, well atleast most. Weeding out woman is a good way to just pick from the stock available, you should never limit yourself to just one...you'll wake up one day and realize you are married and you are very strapped down and wishing you could have that 10...hell you would subject yourself to a 1 if the relationship was that bad...thats why we stress to keep a copious amount of woman in your life. Its just good practice.

The 'one' will come...eventually..just don't make it right away..life is to short....enjoy its fruits!

M.A.C.

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"If you worry about tommorow and get mad about yesterday, you will piss all over today!"

 

[Don the Legend]

Hey Gipper,

Good Question!

I have in the past have had that mindset that there is "The One" out there. That has hurt me. Learn from my mistakes. You need to weed out the losers like a gardener. Date many women until you find a girl that proves herself to you. Your strategy has proven itself since you are a living example that it does indeed work.

Take Care,

Legend

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"As you walk down the fairway of life you must smell the roses, for you only get to play one round."... Ben Hogan

"The key to happiness in your life is "Your Life",... Don the Legend

 

[Gipper]

Originally posted by Amlothi:
Gipper I totally don't disagree with you. Read my investment strategy post for my thoughts, I don't feel like repeating myself here.

Good thoughts on the Investment Strategy, Amlothi. So far, however, I've heard from Master DJ's who know the score.

I would truly like to hear from some newbies. Don't be shy guys, I won't slam you.

Gipper

------------------
"There's nothing wrong with letting the girls know you're money, and that you want to party.
-Trent, from "Swingers"

"Keep your girlfriend away from me,
Just advice I’m giving you for free,
Wanna have every thing I see,
So keep your girlfriend away from me..."
-Local H, from "Here Comes The Zoo"

 

[Gipper]

Thanks for the replies so far guys!

And 'Hello' to Take No Dirt and Don the Legend, two of my favorite amigos! TND, where the hell have you been, dude?

Let's hear from some newbies!

Gipper

------------------
"There's nothing wrong with letting the girls know you're money, and that you want to party.
-Trent, from "Swingers"

"Keep your girlfriend away from me,
Just advice I’m giving you for free,
Wanna have every thing I see,
So keep your girlfriend away from me..."
-Local H, from "Here Comes The Zoo"

 

[moose100]

I concur with the previous posts....we have been brainwashed by society that we are to date just one special woman at a time...and this creates the AFC mentality that is so hard to break...our society frowns on dating multiple women...

What I know from painful experience is that the price of AFC behaviours is extremely high...Gipper has the right approach - date multiple women & weed out the flakes, nutbars users and psychos...

At 32 years old & having been burned many times before by my own AFC attitude, I don't see any other way but the DJ way....the older I get the more I see that it is a man's world.

MOOSE
(A recovering AFC)

 

[comote]

Gipper, there are basically two types of guys that come here.

1) The guy who was in a relationship with the girl of his dreams, everything was great and he was "in love" then his world got torn apart because she did not appreciate him and left him for someone else.

2) The guy who has never had a gf and thinks he is hopeless and comes here looking for a solution to his dateless life.

the first guy is the guy that is going to really be militant about dj'ing. He trusted once and swears he will never be taken advantage of again. He is not looking for just any relationship but a quality one. He knows the way to find this is to sift through many women.

The second guy is still going to have remnants of afc in him, why. It has not been beaten out of him. He will still beleive in "love" and will thus seek it out. He does not realize that no girl is better than a sh!tty girl.

------------------
The very first step to becoming what you want to be is to accept all responsibility for the situation you are in.
in short: quit whining!!!!!!!!!

Why should I care about her, because she looks good? She has given me no reason to care yet.

screw what's right, do what works.

 

[Gipper]

OK, I'm starting to get a consensus that society has brainwashed us into thinking that one woman at a time is the only acceptable method of dating.

Now, and I'd like to hear from some younger guys, who told you this? Parents? Friends? Movies?

Gipper


------------------
"There's nothing wrong with letting the girls know you're money, and that you want to party.
-Trent, from "Swingers"

"Keep your girlfriend away from me,
Just advice I’m giving you for free,
Wanna have every thing I see,
So keep your girlfriend away from me..."
-Local H, from "Here Comes The Zoo"

 

[Gipper]

Originally posted by comote:
Gipper, there are basically two types of guys that come here.

1) The guy who was in a relationship with the girl of his dreams, everything was great and he was "in love" then his world got torn apart because she did not appreciate him and left him for someone else.

2) The guy who has never had a gf and thinks he is hopeless and comes here looking for a solution to his dateless life.

the first guy is the guy that is going to really be militant about dj'ing. He trusted once and swears he will never be taken advantage of again. He is not looking for just any relationship but a quality one. He knows the way to find this is to sift through many women.

The second guy is still going to have remnants of afc in him, why. It has not been beaten out of him. He will still beleive in "love" and will thus seek it out. He does not realize that no girl is better than a sh!tty girl.

Thanks, comote. I definitely fit into the first category.

But why are we so afraid of dating more than one girl at a time, regardless of why we are here?

Gipper

------------------
"There's nothing wrong with letting the girls know you're money, and that you want to party.
-Trent, from "Swingers"

"Keep your girlfriend away from me,
Just advice I’m giving you for free,
Wanna have every thing I see,
So keep your girlfriend away from me..."
-Local H, from "Here Comes The Zoo"

 

[comote]

It is remnants of our afc days, I think the 1st category of people will be more likely to get over that.

------------------
The very first step to becoming what you want to be is to accept all responsibility for the situation you are in.
in short: quit whining!!!!!!!!!

Why should I care about her, because she looks good? She has given me no reason to care yet.

screw what's right, do what works.

 

[VeryBadGirl]

I agree with you Gipper.

In the course of a dating lifetime, you meet way more "OK but not so special people" than "Really freakin' special people." That is why you have to go for the quantity to find the quality.

Dating is about sifting through all those OK people to find that kick-ass person.

Sometimes is is hard for many to realize that the process and the end result are actually really different.

In some people's mind, the logic is: If the goal is one kick-ass person, then the process involves one person at a time. Societal influence, for sure.

 

[Take No Dirt]

Gipper, Don the Legend and all.

I haven't been online much the past month or so because I had been concentrating on my relationships with two women and devoting all my energies DJing them. Life is wonderful for me so far. Being a DJ has garnered me more respect from women than in my AFC days.

Like a few Master DJs who have taken an hiatus from this website, I, too, have considered taking a leave of absence. Newer DJs take over from those who have departed. It's like the changing of the guards so to speak. I'm saying that I won't likely be posting much in the future. I've learned so much from you DJs and the DJ Bible and it's thrilling for me to apply my knowledge to the real world. My entire mindset has been transformed for the better.

Many thanks to all you DJs and Donna Juanitas for all your helpful advice!

 

[Don the Legend]

Originally posted by Take No Dirt:
Gipper, Don the Legend and all.

I haven't been online much the past month or so because I had been concentrating on my relationships with two women and devoting all my energies DJing them. Life is wonderful for me so far. Being a DJ has garnered me more respect from women than in my AFC days.

Like a few Master DJs who have taken an hiatus from this website, I, too, have considered taking a leave of absence. Newer DJs take over from those who have departed. It's like the changing of the guards so to speak. I'm saying that I won't likely be posting much in the future. I've learned so much from you DJs and the DJ Bible and it's thrilling for me to apply my knowledge to the real world. My entire mindset has been transformed for the better.

Many thanks to all you DJs and Donna Juanitas for all your helpful advice!

TND,

I am very happy for you. Your advice has been great. I am sorry to see you go.

Keep in touch every once in a while either here or through my email.

I wish you the best.

Take care buddy,

Legend

------------------
"As you walk down the fairway of life you must smell the roses, for you only get to play one round."... Ben Hogan

"The key to happiness in your life is "Your Life",... Don the Legend

 

[DeepBlue]

Gipper wrote:
This technique has worked wonders for me; I’ve dated about 15-17 chicks and over the course of about two years, managed to narrow my selection down to one chick that I enjoy being with.


There you go. As you say, you've narrowed your selection down to one chick that you enjoy being with. That is exactly what people are talking about when they say "there's this one special girl". At least, that is the way I interpret that statement when I hear it.

DeepBlue

 

[Monkey]

I wouldnt mind dating a couple of girls at the same time but the main reason is the rarity of my type.

Where I live theres not that much choice when it comes to really great girls and I have a certain knack of weeding out unsuitable ones without even talking to them, hey, maybe my standards are too high? but I'm not desperate enough to lower them.

[This message has been edited by Monkey (edited 03-22-2002).]

 

[Azathoth]

Here's my view on the subject: A newbie view. Yea we're preconditioned to seek "the one" and blah blah blah, but is that even really it? For me, I dated this chick from work a couple times and she LJBF'd me, and i still want her while on the other hand i have a chick who basically told me we can f*ck, but not get attatched. So whats the problem? Not satisfied with what we can have? always want what we cant have? Morals: I personally grew up with a father who was the biggest f*cking cheater who i've ever seen and i vowed to never be like him, and it ALMOST seems like cheating if you have more than one woman. I don't know, I've gone through the nice guy -> jerk phase, and come back, and am trying to be the "great guy" But still getting out there and getting more than one will seem difficult. Maybe what people's problems are is that they work themselves up into a frenzy reading all the posts, and tips and DJBible, finally decide to get out there and test out the knowledge they've gained.. get rejected a few times, and when they finally get one who says yes, they throw up their hands and say "YES!! a woman! i dont have to work any more or be alone" I think most people have been screwed over way too many times and thats why they ended up finding this place.. they were searching for a way to get "the one" not how to get them all. anyways, thats just my 2 cents.

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There's only really two things about a man that matter: What he wants and what he'll do to get it. Everything else we pretend is important - whether you're tough or good-looking, smart, stupid, whatever - that's just details.
-Caine, The Blade of Tyshalle

 

[Gipper]

Originally posted by Take No Dirt:
Gipper, Don the Legend and all.

I haven't been online much the past month or so because I had been concentrating on my relationships with two women and devoting all my energies DJing them. Life is wonderful for me so far. Being a DJ has garnered me more respect from women than in my AFC days.

Like a few Master DJs who have taken an hiatus from this website, I, too, have considered taking a leave of absence. Newer DJs take over from those who have departed. It's like the changing of the guards so to speak. I'm saying that I won't likely be posting much in the future. I've learned so much from you DJs and the DJ Bible and it's thrilling for me to apply my knowledge to the real world. My entire mindset has been transformed for the better.

Many thanks to all you DJs and Donna Juanitas for all your helpful advice!

ARRRGGGHH! I come back from lunch and find out my bro TND won't be posting much any more. <Wipes tears from eyes>

OK, man, you will be missed, sincerely. You and Don the Legend were the two who inspired me to post when I first got here. Take care and I know things will be great for you.

And stop in and visit, ya hear?

"Black Arm Band" Gipper

------------------
"There's nothing wrong with letting the girls know you're money, and that you want to party.
-Trent, from "Swingers"

"Keep your girlfriend away from me,
Just advice I’m giving you for free,
Wanna have every thing I see,
So keep your girlfriend away from me..."
-Local H, from "Here Comes The Zoo"