What are the WORST things that have happened to you with a woman?

[Masculinity]

We are here to help fellow DJ's and request help when we are down. I see a lot of success on the site, but I'm curious to know what failures you guys have had!

For the fun of it, don't be shy and share what has happened to you. Maybe she:

Puked on you
Had a harry-azz hoo-hah
Slapped you across the face
Was wearing one of those fake JLO butts (haha)
Put you on the spot yelling in a public place
Wanted you to do something crazy freaky
She did something naaasty


Whether it was funny, embarrassing, awkward, strange, unbelievable, nasty, whatever...let's hear it and get a laugh out of it!:trouble:

 

[SamTheHobit]

In high school a girl was on a bet to see if she could date me.. We dated for a few hours :/

 

[SharinganUser]

A girl I took home from the bar got into a slap fight with a hobo. Then this Austrian guy who was with her friend started freaking out and kept shouting, in his Arnie accent "We must get outta here! More are coming! The Chinese they do not fight alone!" .

 

[Mike32ct]

Worst:

1. About five years ago, I went on a date 2 with this girl. She met this dude known as her "friend" at the restaurant. During dinner, she left with him.

2. Went out with this other woman. Towards the end, she said she was going to the ladies room. She headed right out the front door of the bar.

3. I hooked up with a fattie once. (Never again.) She got soooo sweaty in the sack. After sex, she told me that I NEEDED a shower lol.

4. I was at this girls house. She was 26, but lived with her parents because she was going to grad school. We had s*x. She wanted me to stay the night, but I didn't want to end up having breakfast with her AND her parents. Talk about awkward. (Hey I just b*nged your daughter last night. Pass the bacon lol.)

So after s*x, I tiptoed out towards her front door to leave. Her poodle (dog) started barking violently "ROOF ROOF ROOF." Her mom yelled from the other room, "Good night Mike." I just wanted to get the hell out of there lol.


Funniest:

1. I was in Vegas last year. I pulled this HB8 to my room. We had sex once. She wanted to go for round 2. I didn't have the energy, plus I was too drunk and Mr. Happy wasn't cooperating. So I decided to get her off manually.

I was looking in her eyes while attempting to finger her. (I wasn't quite paying attention to where my hand was.) All of sudden, she felt REALLY tight. (Way more than she was before.)

Mike: You nervous or something? (She really felt tight all of a sudden.)
HB: Uh Mike?
Mike: Yeah, what's up?
HB: Uh that's my a*s lol.

 

[RSanders219]

went to hangout with this girl for a first time.. pretty good looking girl, probably an HB 7.5. She was definitely the type I'm into, had tattoos pierced nipples nice ass nice tits. Well I went over her house expecting it was just going to be us there, then I come to find out her parents are there too and we watched tv with them for a few hours. Talk about a let down!

Made out with this girl the following week when I was drunk at a party, I was ready to bang and she wouldn't let me get down her pants. A few days later (On my birthday for fvck's sake) she calls me up and says that she needs to talk to me if anything is to go further. She let's me know she has HSV-2. I call it off with her. Still friends with the girl though

 

[AAAgent]

There aren't really any worst things that happened since i eventually move on from them but there were some things at the time i didn't like.

not numbered on a scale just for order:

1.)high school friend that was a mutual friend of one of my best friends was dared by my older friend to date me. She was an HB4 about 5'7 and 145+ with huge boobs for an asian girl. she asked me to movies, etc. that i thought were friend things until i found out it was just us two. She persisted for 3 months until she actually fell for me and i resisted for 3 months until i actually fell for her. Right when i asked her out she disappeared and ignored me.

2.) girl tried to rape me at a party, she was attractive but word was she got around and i didn't want to catch anything. Plus i was talking to my soon to be ex-gf at the time and didn't want rape girl to spread the word which she would have.

3.) ugly girl tried to rape me at her apartment. she came out to my birthday at a strip club then invited everyone over the next day. Everyone slowly left and she finally KICKED my ride home out and tried to lock me in. My friend came and got me. Rape girl 2 called and told me that i could stay in her sisters room and she wouldn't do anything to me. I said i had to do hw and my books were at home. She then told me to go home and get my books. I said no. boy was she persistent.

4.) friend tried to rape me. Rape girl 3 lets call her. drinking at her place a bunch of us and then everyone leaves except me and my friend (same friend that saved me from rape girl 2). she kicked out my friend and tells him to go home. I'm stuck in the apartment for about 2 minutes scared sh1tless because although an hb5 i was not attracted to her. friend luckily gets me out.

5.) rape girl 3 when drinking at a bar with her friend/girl i dated tells me straight out she likes me. I play it off like i didn't understand what she said.

 

[Credos]

Hahaha AAAgent you need to stop talking to these ugs, when a HB8+ tries so hard you wouldn't call it rape ...

My worse:

I was drunk out of my mind because of this crazy party. I go to the next bar alone and thought to try and pickup some women. Test some new openinglines me and my mates found funny.

I go up to this girl, I show her my index finger and my middle finger and ask her: Why do girls masturbate with these two fingers?
she goes: Dude wtf, get away from me creep!
me: because they're mine
she: *slaps me*

I turn 90 degrees towards her girlfriend:
me: hi
she: *creeped out*
me: If I was a watermelon, would you eat my seed?
She: *slaps me on the other cheek*

Alwayse good times with good pickuplines...
Bah I hate women with no sense of humor, but it was probebly because I stinked like beer that they instantly lost intrest, let alone how wasted I was... When I returned to the party both my cheeks had a red handform in it, my mates couldn't stop laughing when I told them I field tested the lines and that they work!

 

[Nimm]

1) Were at a party, this huge chick (200++ pounds) sits next to me on a couch. She starts too "sweet talk" to me, trying to cudel and sh*t. I`m not haveing it.. So i decide to move away, i then stand up... All of a sudden i feel a hand come down my pants and then a firm "grab".... :woo: Someone left early that night.....

2) Yet another party.. and yet another couch..... Sitting next to a friend and talking, Then he gets up and moves away... 5 sec later this other girl(hb4) plungs onto the couch and into my lap and starts frenching MAD with me...
Yet another night i left early :X

3) Went home with a girl i met at a bar... She shows me around her apartment and then says she just got to grab something. Ok i wait... 5 min later she hadnt returend, so i decide to look for her. She then comes out of a room with a huge knife in her hand, and tells me to sit down... She then proceds to hang christmas lights around me......

4) At a bar... Sitting with a friend and talking... this 50+ year old (NOT milf) sits down next to me, sticks out here toung out and licks me in the face :woo:

 

[xs_]

3) Went home with a girl i met at a bar... She shows me around her apartment and then says she just got to grab something. Ok i wait... 5 min later she hadnt returend, so i decide to look for her. She then comes out of a room with a huge knife in her hand, and tells me to sit down... She then proceds to hang christmas lights around me......

whoa whoa.. You gotta finish this one off, how did it end? Must have been quite the experience..

 

[Nimm]

whoa whoa.. You gotta finish this one off, how did it end? Must have been quite the experience..

I was scared.....(Yes i admit it!) so i just sat there looking like a christmas tree. Then she starts talking about music, i just play`d along the conversation.... She was really drunk.. so after an hour(Hearing about shi*tty bands) she passes out... then i snuck out

Thing is..... I don`t have a lot muscles on me... So figthing is really last resort for me.....

5) I was downtown, walking down the street. All of a sudden this girl walks up to me and screams a**hole! out of nowhere.

And yes.. I have become REALLY skeptical about women over the years....

I must have a really bad aura or something......

 

[Yachtie]

Stood up on NYE.

Maybe this wasn't the worst, since she did me a favor.

runners up:
- slept with one of my former best friends.
- went out for drinks with me after school, and went home with another girl.

...in hind sight, it sucked at the moment, but they all did me a favor and saved me from future trouble.

 

[JLW]

Worst:

1. my high school sweetheart cheated on me with a bunch of football team guys in the back of an SUV. She supposedly ripped her pants off and was in the back seat with this fat linebacker. Within a week of us breaking up, she had sex with the fat linebacker in the middle of a baseball dugout at night.

2. Had anal sex with a girl and she ended up crapping all over my floor and d1ck (this is the same girl as #1). This was actually like the third time we did it, the other two times were perfectly fine.


See if you guys can beat #1.

 

[powpow]

well a girl that Ive been talking to recently has been showing a lot of interest, texting me every day, bla bla bla.

supposed to go out tonight, until around 2 oclock I get a text saying she cant go out tonight because her pernicious anemia is acting up.

this sucks on two levels. either I convey myself as an utter idiot and she thinks telling ridiculous lies is funny OR she actually has pernicious anemia and I was digging on a girl with pernicious anemia.

told my mates, they had a good laugh

 

[Forty0ztoFreedom]

I was really wasted one night and some cougar (friend of a friend) wanted to dance and was being flirty. I was in a drunk fun mood and didn't care either way. I told her I was way "too wasted to get hard" that night. Keep in mind the conversation was not sexual in any way. Later on I said she should give me a hand job behind the dumpster out back. She acted all offended but kept leaning on me.

Months later I learned from a friend that she was only offended because she thought I was calling her ugly, and likely would have done anything I wanted.

 

[Pathgen]

I was 19 years old. Only slept with my high school girlfriend before so i was excited for this one....

I go out with my friend using a fake ID, to his exgirlfriends birthday party. We meet these two girls there that are around 24 and really hot. We start dancing and im basically getting her off on the dance floor, so things are going great. We find they have a hotel room and they seem down for us to go back with them to grab some drinks.

Then in comes the exgirlfriend who grabs my friend, and creates all this drama that ruins the whole night. I try to call the two girls, but they don't really respond that night and afterwards because they found out i wasn't 21 or something and lost interest.

Oh well....

 

[JohnnyStrabler]

She told me "I like you, but I dont know how much"

wtf does that even mean? anyway I admit I still have oneitis over her, but damn I dropped her like she is hot!

time to shake this off and move on!

 

[Nygard]

The worst thing I've done is not approaching, and also not taking advantage of my chances.

 

[Let's Get Real]

First girlfriend 4th grade: girlfriend for a day...gave her a ring. She kissed some other dude and then broke up with me.

5th grade: my girlfriend said that she had a dream last night that she broke up with me....and guess what? it's coming true.

7th grade: had my mom drive me to a highschool football game to pick up a girl i was talking to, she wasn't there...she was across the street at her ex boyfriend's house.

A few different upgrades and some even to my friends...

Had a girl call me and tell me that we never happened and don't ever call me again.

Got smacked by a woman's husband for dancing with her.

 

[Serialized3]

Got threatened with a pistol after I banged a guy's girlfriend and he found out through the grapevine

 

[Poonani Maker]

Condom broke, I came all in that junt, she started balling her eyes out telling me she was married with children, said that I was too rough with her toward the end (bullsh!t excuse for the breakage, she was just emotionally a mess and started accusing me of everything, almost rape), so I give her $$$ to go down to planned parenthood to buy AND take the morning-after pill. Thank God she did what I told her to do, cause I saw her a few months later and she wasn't pregnant. I could fvck her this weekend if I wanted to, but now I know she's married and don't want to go there again. She has a fine 110 lb body, semi-shriveled tatas (from the kids) and tight vag, decent face, but crybaby. It would be tempting to get with her again. I still see her to this day, but no fvcking. Also, my chances for fvcking a tall, athletic, and Adult (not baby like her) are very high for tonight. We've planned this date since Monday. I believe that she will not flake, but who fvcking knows? I haven't spoke with her since Tuesday. There are really No other girls though. It's just not happening for me right now. Although there's a medium-build early-twenties college girl who messaged me this morning about coming up to see me "one day."

OMFG, the one we'd planned since Monday, just called to cancel our date. Well, at least she called. She offered to go out in a week or so. I just told her that's fine by me, and that I understand her troubles. She (supposedly) has had a bad couple of days last couple of days. That's ok, cause this frees me up to pursue others, who I'd rather be with. I'm flexible as fvck and she's probably wondering why it sounded as no loss to my night tonight...well, there are better girls than her - she's 28 and getting older