What are the stigmas for single men over 35?

[Epicwinguy]

Correct, can confirm all true. People distance themselves from single males 33+. Get used to being alone and at a certain age you look too old for clubs.

Clubs =/= dive bars

 

[SW15]

It’s funny because I know a ton of people in their 30s and 40s who are single and plenty childless. Then again I hang out at bars.

I don't know that many 30s/40s men who are single and childless. I'm a late 30s single and childless guy. My similarly aged friends and acquaintances are married and cohabiting men.

 

[Who Dares Win]

I notice that married men comply and conform to the hive...kinda like being connected with the assistance of their wives.

It's true, social circles made of married people dont want single older men inside and single older men have no reason to join them.

I know plenty of men my age or older that are single and are completely open about it, the bond with those men comes easy given the same condition and the same struggles.

What I believe is a stigma for an older men is lack of success, lack of past experiences and being out of shape...at that age the risk of being found creepy is much higher than in your 20s.

A late 30s fat guy dressed like a teenager whos hobby is anime could be an example.

Even a fit guy that turns into a gym gimmick always talking about proteins or max rep is a good candidate to join him.

 

[Slowhandluke]

I notice that married men comply and conform to the hive...kinda like being connected with the assistance of their wives.

It's true, social circles made of married people dont want single older men inside and single older men have no reason to join them.

I know plenty of men my age or older that are single and are completely open about it, the bond with those men comes easy given the same condition and the same struggles.

What I believe is a stigma for an older men is lack of success, lack of past experiences and being out of shape...at that age the risk of being found creepy is much higher than in your 20s.

A late 30s fat guy dressed like a teenager whos hobby is anime could be an example.

Even a fit guy that turns into a gym gimmick always talking about proteins or max rep is a good candidate to join him.

Lack of success makes an older man creepy. After all, given enough time rolling a dice, you will get successful - if you keep trying. To be older and not have any form of success is weird and red flag area.

Young women are inherently attractive because of being young (fertility). Older guys are inherently hot because of experience (basically having tried so many times, learning though experience which leads to higher chances of being successful).

 

[member160292]

Young women are inherently attractive because of being young (fertility). Older guys are inherently hot because of experience (basically having tried so many times, learning though experience which leads to higher chances of being successful).

Just have to bridge that gap

 

[Bigpapa]

Lack of success makes an older man creepy. After all, given enough time rolling a dice, you will get successful - if you keep trying. To be older and not have any form of success is weird and red flag area.

Young women are inherently attractive because of being young (fertility). Older guys are inherently hot because of experience (basically having tried so many times, learning though experience which leads to higher chances of being successful).

the biggest red flag is that you might be a loser , if you are not backed by an upper middle lifestyle

 

[Gedmun]

I am a single male 35+. I'll tell you some things that happen when you are a 35+ single male.

Somewhere between ages 26-34, there are a flurry of weddings in your social circle. The male friends you made in your 20s or even earlier in life will become more distant. You'll be on the fringes of social circles because most social circles of people 30+ are dominated by couples. General social gatherings are established couples hanging out with each other. The established couples don't want you around and you don't want to be around them either. You will see your married man/cohabiting LTR male friends less frequently and only if you have some activity hobby in common (tennis, fishing, hunting, golf, etc).

Family gatherings are a bit uncomfortable as your similarly aged siblings and cousins will often be around with their kids and/or significant others.


You are spot on mate

 

[AureliusMaximus]

It's certainly true many single women over 35 are broken in many ways. I'm curious what everyone's thoughts and experience have been.

None.

 

[member160292]

Mid Life Crisis comes to mind if I were to put myself in their shoes, more so if recently single. My thoughts on dating at 35 and the female age group, just now so feel free to provide your insight. Actually, feedback appreciated!

24-27
You better have something better to offer over Lacrosse boy
You're competing. A lot. Be cool and aloof, but sprinkle in some financial arrogance. That's your advantage over many of the competition. Little baits here and there, but be smart.

28-31
You're afraid of commitment, give me a 5 year forecast between us
Communication is vital here, indifference will not be as effective. Flakes and tardiness will be punished here, words will actually have meanings. You have to pitch the vision and a plan to get there

32-35
Joking, maybe

 

[nmartinez12443]

Correct, can confirm all true. People distance themselves from single males 33+. Get used to being alone and at a certain age you look too old for clubs.

I mean yeah certain "clubs" like dingy rachet clubs or some college oriented bars, you obviously need to read the room. However most males at clubs, especially with tables and buying bottles aren't in there low 20s.

 

[DonJuanjr]

Lack of success makes an older man creepy. After all, given enough time rolling a dice, you will get successful - if you keep trying. To be older and not have any form of success is weird and red flag area.

Young women are inherently attractive because of being young (fertility). Older guys are inherently hot because of experience (basically having tried so many times, learning though experience which leads to higher chances of being successful).

So what the fvck is the answer then for me being 34 and having the experience of a 20 year old? As time goes on, it's exponentially harder to have success with women due to my lack of experience and being seen as "creepy". So it'll take exponentially longer to gain the attractive experience in the gap from 34-49 than it would 20-35. Be like dude's uncle, and expect some success at 60-70?

 

[Pandora]

the biggest red flag is that you might be a loser , if you are not backed by an upper middle lifestyle

Damn this hurt but the truth often does. I can provide a lower middle class lifestyle. I am definately not backed by an upper middle class lifestyle. Maybe in my late 40s.

Upper middle class in the upper northeast is no joke. I dont know too many millenials that are that affluent. Guess I will be creepy then.

This is part of the reason I have had some success with girls in the early 20s. As long as you work around them and look halfway decent you are good. Girls in their 30s want you to have actual wealth. A girl in her early 20s ( below 7/10 in looks) is impressed with an apartment and a couple vehicles.

 

[Bigpapa]

Damn this hurt but the truth often does. I can provide a lower middle class lifestyle. I am definately not backed by an upper middle class lifestyle. Maybe in my late 40s.

Upper middle class in the upper northeast is no joke. I dont know too many millenials that are that affluent. Guess I will be creepy then.

This is part of the reason I have had some success with girls in the early 20s. As long as you work around them and look halfway decent you are good. Girls in their 30s want you to have actual wealth. A girl in her early 20s ( below 7/10 in looks) is impressed with an apartment and a couple vehicles.

you can always play the artist card , but you have to dress accordingly

buy mainly you will catch the hipsters and stuff like that

 

[Pandora]

you can always play the artist card , but you have to dress accordingly

buy mainly you will catch the hipsters and stuff like that

I totally agree. The artist card definately works..but you must be in decent physical shape and have a creative fashion sense.

 

[Pandora]

In order to not be creepy in your middle age you have to be living the " American dream". The problem with the "American dream" is that its boring and miserable. Money and status will not make you happy if it is attached to a wife, kids and no real adventure. You also have to surpress your masculinity in order to be politically correct.

As a bachelor who cares if you are
"creepy". Lets see how creepy you are when they see you traveling internationally every 6 months. Life is more fun as a bachelor and they know it.

The only issue is kids. In order to have kids you must play the boring miserable American dream game. I envy the men that dont care about having kids.

 

[Bigpapa]

In order to not be creepy in your middle age you have to be living the " American dream". The problem with the "American dream" is that its boring and miserable. Money and status will not make you happy if it is attached to a wife, kids and no real adventure. You also have to surpress your masculinity in order to be politically correct.

As a bachelor who cares if you are
"creepy". Lets see how creepy you are when they see you traveling internationally every 6 months. Life is more fun as a bachelor and they know it.

The only issue is kids. In order to have kids you must play the boring miserable American dream game. I envy the men that dont care about having kids.

you can always get a surrogate mother and dna from the bank . This way it will be 100% your kid and do not have to tangle with a woman

I am considering this as a last resort

 

[Bigpapa]

I totally agree. The artist card definately works..but you must be in decent physical shape and have a creative fashion sense.

the creative fashion sense can be learned

depends on you if you will put the effort or not into it . Basically how important is for you to be successful with women

 

[Red Pill Divorce Lawyer]

I'm 40 and I have never been married and do not have children. Nearly every woman I meet asks me "what's wrong with you?". Since we live in a feminized society that promotes marriage (the coffin) and children (the nails) as the norm, anyone who lives outside of that norm must have "something wrong with them". Everyone is so brainwashed into believing that monogamy and marriage is the righteous objective, that they never stop to consider the mountain of evidence proving the inefficacy of those institutions.

It's interesting because women never seem to consider the option that I am intentionally single and never married. It has always been easy to convince them that I am simply "picky" and have high standards because of my high value. It gets their imaginations churning on whether they will be the one I finally "pick". You always want the implication running with her that there are multiple women competing to get you. Women have wild imaginations and they are solipsistic, so they will naturally believe that other women want you if they themselves do. If you believe in your own mind that you are single by choice due to an abundance of women in your life instead of a scarcity, it won't be difficult convincing women that being single is a non-issue. By non-issue, I mean that your status of being single has nothing to do with an inability to attract women, and everything to do with you being a high status male with discriminating taste and high standards. However, if you believe that you are single because of some deficiency in yourself, they will pick up on that and likely perceive you as being generally undesirable by women, which will eliminate any attraction they have for you.

In other words, any stigmas that exist for single men over 35 have never created a shred of an obstacle for me. Always take any perceived weaknesses or "stigmas" and spin them as strengths. If a "stigma" is creating a problem for a man over 35, he should just do what women over 35 do: Get yourself a group of friends your same age and act like you're much higher value than you really are. Most men fall for this and it works wonders for post-wall women with sagging bodies and another man's children in tow.

 

[Bigpapa]

wonders for post-wall women with sagging bodies and another man's children in tow.

I am quite sure that most men would not really want to target post wall women

at least not from the get go

if you can not attract younger women than you ,there is a problem and you should have a look at and try to fix it

 

[Red Pill Divorce Lawyer]

I am quite sure that most men would not really want to target post wall women

at least not from the get go

if you can not attract younger women than you ,there is a problem and you should have a look at and try to fix it

Since the wall is 30 or younger, and I'm 40, I'm really not following your line of reasoning here. If I look around at all the people I personally know, and all the thousands of people going through divorce that have consulted with me, men in their 40s are rarely having LTRs and marrying women below 30. It happens, but it's the exception to the rule.

Maybe you're talking about men that are younger than 30 targeting post-wall women? Which makes no sense on a post that is discussing single men over 35. If the wall is 30, and this post is talking about men over 35, you've got a five year gap there where the man is still older than the woman.