What are tell tale signs of a BPD, narcissist, bi-polar etc?

[wifehunter]

"What are tell tale signs of a BPD, narcissist, bi-polar etc?"

Pride, arrogance, lying, deception, etc. Basically, anything that Satan would approve of.

Society likes to candy coat evil and call it a 'personality disorder'.

Sh1t is easier to swallow that way.

 

[Infern0]

I'm going to make this very simple, and in EVERY case I know it to hold true.

You get a bad feeling about them.

That's it

That's all there is to it.

They are hot but deep down you just get a bad feeling and know it's a bad idea.

That's the only sign you need to listen to.

Everyone I know who went for the ride, got that feeling and IGNORED it.

 

[wifehunter]

I'm going to make this very simple, and in EVERY case I know it to hold true.

You get a bad feeling about them.

That's it

That's all there is to it.

They are hot but deep down you just get a bad feeling and know it's a bad idea.

That's the only sign you need to listen to.

Everyone I know who went for the ride, got that feeling and IGNORED it.

emotions are dumb....completely useless for making any sound judgments.

But in this case... Better safe than sorry.

These people CAN make you I'll... I go with that, if I'm not completely certain.

 

[sangheilios]

I'm going to make this very simple, and in EVERY case I know it to hold true.

You get a bad feeling about them.

That's it

That's all there is to it.

They are hot but deep down you just get a bad feeling and know it's a bad idea.

That's the only sign you need to listen to.

Everyone I know who went for the ride, got that feeling and IGNORED it.

I've experienced this a few times, where I ignored this instinctual "something is off" feeling because she was super hot, and it always turned into a very hurtful and chaotic experience for me.

 

[wifehunter]

I've experienced this a few times, where I ignored this instinctual "something is off" feeling because she was super hot, and it always turned into a very hurtful and chaotic experience for me.

Remember that feeling...it's common, most super hot chicks are witches.

 

[resilient]

A resounding lack of empathy or concern for others, most especially the significant other. Often playing games, passive aggressive, irradic behavior, controlling, dominating (power plays) and often workaholics — excessive need to prove oneself as being more powerful than others...

 

[Von]

Gas lighting.

But you'll not see that until you are interacting with them in person. When they gas light (because they WILL) you have to reject their premise and refuse to acquiesce.

This will create conflict (histrionics, rage, and etc.) which you will have to be unaffected by.

They will also make every conversation about them and are horrid listeners.

I should know. My mother is a malicious covert victim narcissist. Cut her entirely out of my life & my children's lives years ago.

Best. Decision. Ever.

My mom must be BDP. She was emotionally abusive or prône to anger fast if you challenge her.

My niece was diagnosed with it too.

My brother and I tend to be ADHD.

Anyway, i work with my mom.

It's difficult, and toxic sometimes but all love each other.

I've wonder about cuting ties and "what could i be on my own"... But i always felt dépendant in a way.

I know i can get around but life easier even in those environement. So work with mom lol.

Moving out was the best décision for sure, and keeping it to work only saved my mental health

I do have NPD/BDP trait. (I am my mom son)

Now it make me wonders about my current partner: all quiet, daddy-issues, indépendant yet hâtes being alone, insecure (in a healthy way)

We are a fantastic team and it's fun, without drama, simple and time fly.

Still, i noticed she can get angry on matters that challenge her faith. (Understandable, she wasnt physical but you can see she restrain herself)...

She like to tease with her body.

She extrapolate stuff (especially the bad stuff)..

After 2 years and now doing big commitment process. Life fun with her and maybe cause i am in love, but flags were burried lol.

My 2cent to these bpd/npd stuff: It doesnt mean the girl is bad /or the guy is bad... But i believe they will bring toxic gaz in the relationship especially if you dont fill that hole (emotional), and that might be hard especially if she isnt disciplined/core value system/had many partners.

As a man my limit is: don't prevent me from living the life i want to live.

Résilient: that sounds just like me (and my mom)

 

[btownbuck2012]

I'm going to make this very simple, and in EVERY case I know it to hold true.

You get a bad feeling about them.

That's it

That's all there is to it.

They are hot but deep down you just get a bad feeling and know it's a bad idea.

That's the only sign you need to listen to.

Everyone I know who went for the ride, got that feeling and IGNORED it.

I feel that way with 95% of women I meet.

 

[BeExcellent]

Gas lighting is up there. Projection to me is the dead ringer for narcissists though, I'm not sure I've ever seen a normal person use projection in the sense of doing something wrong and then accusing someone else of doing what you're doing. (Outside of me calling out women for analyzing male problems through a woman's frame but that's different).

Second would be blame shifting. I managed to avoid too much gaslighting, probably because I was very swift to play the 'youre insane' card first.

Agreed. Gaslighting is something you are only going to see in more established relationships. LTRs and family relationships. My mom was/is a gaslighter. My boyfriend also has pulled that a time or two. He is high in narcissistic traits. When I won't accept his gas lighting (also known as crazy making) he gets irritated and says he doesn't recall x, y, or z that he said or did. I simply assert the truth as it happened and do not allow him to alter the narrative. Period. Obviously this creates conflict. Oh well. Narcissists do not leave when they percieve the other person has value or attributes that benefit them. They may create drama but they typically won't leave. They need the attention too badly.

The best way to give them a taste of their own medicine is too ignore them or triangulate them. Ignoring is the far more effective tactic. Because of the immense need for attention they can be managed by withdrawal of attention. Silence and distance is spectacularly effective with them. When they realize they are being ignored they cannot tolerate it and will initiate contact, and their behavior will correct for a while.

I also have narcissistic traits but having been raised by a covert narcissist (as was my BF) as well as a strong father figure the dynamic is familiar and therefore I am accustomed to dealing with it.

Blame shifting is another classic manifestation of NPD. So is lack of empathy and complete self focus. These are people who have a hole in their psyche that no amount of attention or external validation can fill. They have a difficult time with self-examination and accountability. They have a sense of entitlement, rarely say "Thank you" or "I'm Sorry" and they expect others to cater to them. Interestingly however they do not respect the people who they push over so easily. They actually respect people who will not tolerate their entitled behavior, although they will create conflict and fights and drama. Someone who fights back is disliked in the moment, but respected after the fact. People who are conflict avoidant or conflict averse will get steamrolled by a narcissist, lose value, and get dumped. It makes for a stormy dynamic. Serenity is uncomfortable for these people. It is boring. So relationships with these individuals follow a dramatic path, for that is what the narcissist is familiar with. Periods of calm and periods of conflict. That is the pattern.

They can evolve to a more self aware state (I like to think I have over time) but they have to be internally motivated to do so. They are particularly immovable in the face of another person's desire for them to change and will only undertake self development if it is the least painful option.

As skilled manipulators of other people they rarely find themselves in a place where they can't hood wink people around them. Many are not consciously aware that they are, in fact, narcissists. Ditto BPDs. They are under diagnosed because they don't need to go to treatment in their estimation and so they don't/won't.

The more serious traits are not seen early on. The narcissist is too good at mirroring and too charming to be found out right away. And usually by the time the darker traits start to emerge the partner in the relationship (who is usually unaware of what they are dealing with) has become invested/attached to a point where withdrawal from the relationship is difficult.

 

[Bible_Belt]

"My ex is THE WORST PERSON IN THE WORLD" = borderline. You, if you are her current victim, are the best man in the world. But guess how she is going to think of you after things turn sour.

 

[AttackFormation]

Ask people if they think psychopaths and narcissists should be identified and sequestered away from society with the modern science and technology we have for diagnosing them, and they'll say something like "teach them empathy and sympathy", "they need help". But they can't change because they are not humans to begin with but humanoid predators, "therapy" doesn't work, it just makes them worse. They just view your concern for them as a pathetic weakness to laugh at and exploit. These predators are overrepresented in every kind of malign behavior, but people don't mind. People are so fvcking braindead it almost makes me lose sympathy for them too.

 

[BeExcellent]

A

You're a solid person and you need to eject from that bs ASAP!

Thank you & agreed. I'm ambivalent about him at the moment.

 

[BeExcellent]

I know it isn't easy. Usually they have at least one trait that in your mind you find irreplaceable, true or not. Mine were great looks, emotional support, and intellectual compatibility, respectively(replaced all three easily). Truth is, they take those things for granted anyway.

Agreed. He's replaceable to be sure although I quite like him. I think my ego is more tied up in this than I like to admit. There is great congruence in background and shared interests and he has modified his behavior a great deal by all accounts.

So part of me doesn't want to kick him in the teeth if he's really making the effort...but part of me doesn't trust that he really is. There isn't a short term solution to that problem other than time.

And I'm growing impatient. Hence the ambivalence. I don't care to waste time.

 

[Red Legg]

An attention wh0re ….(HPD) is worse than a BPD ever dreamed of IMO......an HPD would stomp a BPD's guts out ...lol

 

[The_411]

I’ve found through going through the experience and being able to see the patterns of behavior that ultimately it comes down to not accepting toxic behavior and enforcing your boundaries.

Cluster B women essentially have no sense of self so they are constantly acting to fit in and as such they become masters at blending in because they do it so often.

The other key point is that their targets are vulnerable and have esteem issues.

They work their way in by presenting the facade of your perfect women, which starts to crumble piece by piece.

The best way to describe these types is basically heroin addiction. They make you feel like the best boyfriend/lover/etc and then come the subtle digs. You get stuck chasing the facade they presented as they continue to push boundaries.

 

[Red Legg]

ALL women are narcissistic. They all thrive on attention and think they are higher value than they are in reality.

This part is true..however I would disagree with you that all women are money grubs (takers) I have ran into quite a few givers as well.