What are tell tale signs of a BPD, narcissist, bi-polar etc?

[HankHill]

I see a lot of these psychological conditions talked about here but I have yet to find a good summary of what the tell tale signs of these are? If I google for these the symptoms are so generic anyone can fit many of those definitions. So those who have dealt with these how do/did you know you were dating someone with these conditions?

Personally, I always thought when people mentioned these terms they weren't describing a severe condition but more like 'he/she is a psycho' i.e. they act in a way that they don't approve of but not necessarily a real clinically diagnosed mental issue.

So what are some key signs?

 

[AttackFormation]

The ones I have experience with:

1. NPD (covert, introvert)
- traumatic family background
-no one appreciates her
-lies about accomplishments
-seems very humble and insecure but at core is an enormous ego
-hides true value system to extent they even have one
-seems like the perfect catch but something isn't right in your gut "why wouldn't people jump all over this?"
-contradictions in values and gets upset if you notice
-ultimately will have extreme issues with anger, narcissistic rage, verbal abuse
- hard to detect early, only sign is traumatic family for months
-sexually promiscuous but they hide it
-liars
-sociopathic traits, legitimately enjoys hurting people
-addicted to narcissistic supply(adoration) but they hide it
-overt type is easier to detect, think Donald Trump

2. BPD
-traumatic family background
-cutter
-abandonment issues, clingy
-anger issues
-depression/suicide
-love bombing
-hot/cold cycles
-sexually promiscuous
-seem very sincere romantically
-often externally visible signs like tattoos, piercings

3. HPD/Somatic Narcissist
-Traumatic family background (notice the pattern)
-obsessed with attention, dress for attention, act almost like a crackhead in public flirting with anything that moves
-enjoy sexualizing/flirting with children, younger people, beta men
-attention hor on steroids
-obviously promiscuous
-shallow emotions

You're like a rose in an arctic climate. All we get is little buds for ages, and then under the rare right conditions you bloom out with these posts.

 

[AttackFormation]

The ones I have experience with:

1. NPD (covert, introvert)
- traumatic family background
-no one appreciates her
-lies about accomplishments
-seems very humble and insecure but at core is an enormous ego
-hides true value system to extent they even have one
-seems like the perfect catch but something isn't right in your gut "why wouldn't people jump all over this?"
-contradictions in values and gets upset if you notice
-ultimately will have extreme issues with anger, narcissistic rage, verbal abuse
- hard to detect early, only sign is traumatic family for months
-sexually promiscuous but they hide it
-liars
-sociopathic traits, legitimately enjoys hurting people
-addicted to narcissistic supply(adoration) but they hide it
-overt type is easier to detect, think Donald Trump

2. BPD
-traumatic family background
-cutter
-abandonment issues, clingy
-anger issues
-depression/suicide
-love bombing
-hot/cold cycles
-sexually promiscuous
-seem very sincere romantically
-often externally visible signs like tattoos, piercings

3. HPD/Somatic Narcissist
-Traumatic family background (notice the pattern)
-obsessed with attention, dress for attention, act almost like a crackhead in public flirting with anything that moves
-enjoy sexualizing/flirting with children, younger people, beta men
-attention hor on steroids
-obviously promiscuous
-shallow emotions

By the way, I've got some more questions...

- How'd you meet these girls?

- Do you remember little things they said or did specifically, that they used to hook you?

- What's the floor for "traumatic family background"? can it be as simple as an absent father or is there always some abuse or critical neglect? will they lie about the severity, or even all of it, to play Bambi (or waif as you call it) and activate your protective instinct?

 

[Billtx49]

The ones I have experience with:

1. NPD (covert, introvert)
- traumatic family background
-no one appreciates her
-lies about accomplishments
-seems very humble and insecure but at core is an enormous ego
-hides true value system to extent they even have one
-seems like the perfect catch but something isn't right in your gut "why wouldn't people jump all over this?"
-contradictions in values and gets upset if you notice
-ultimately will have extreme issues with anger, narcissistic rage, verbal abuse
- hard to detect early, only sign is traumatic family for months
-sexually promiscuous but they hide it
-liars
-sociopathic traits, legitimately enjoys hurting people
-addicted to narcissistic supply(adoration) but they hide it
-overt type is easier to detect, think Donald Trump

2. BPD
-traumatic family background
-cutter
-abandonment issues, clingy
-anger issues
-depression/suicide
-love bombing
-hot/cold cycles
-sexually promiscuous
-seem very sincere romantically
-often externally visible signs like tattoos, piercings

3. HPD/Somatic Narcissist
-Traumatic family background (notice the pattern)
-obsessed with attention, dress for attention, act almost like a crackhead in public flirting with anything that moves
-enjoy sexualizing/flirting with children, younger people, beta men
-attention hor on steroids
-obviously promiscuous
-shallow emotions

Great list, but fails to point out the Cluster B aspect that a disordered woman can have multiple matching traits from more than one of these categories, i.e., comorbid disorders…

 

[Glassguy]

ALL women are narcissistic. They all thrive on attention and think they are higher value than they are in reality.

That's the #1 issue with any form of OLD for most men. The 5'2 220lb woman with 3 kids by 3 guys who makes minimum wage thinks she deserves Chad Thunderc0ck with a doctorate degree or owns his own business making $500k a year.

There is no such thing as a narcissistic woman. It's just who the modern day woman has become for the most part.

 

[HankHill]

Awesome list, thanks!

But...holy crap! I'm NPD, BPD and HPD...lol
I think the difference is what each of these things mean and how many of these symptoms exist in the same person. For example, insecure and clingy, I've certainly acted that way towards someone I really cared about yes but in general am I? I don't think so. Also, since I grew up in a very close family, but then geographical distances made me grow up apart from them so perhaps I do have abandonment issues and perhaps I seek that closeness from my partner but I don't really know. This is all 'perhaps' after reading these symptoms but I'm sure there's a threshold for what's considered normal feelings/emotions in a healthy human being vs. what's considered beyond normal which I think may be the differentiator?

 

[Billtx49]

what's considered beyond normal which I think that may be the differentiator?

Exactly, it’s why they’re called disorders. Normal people don’t act that way…

 

[sangheilios]

Looking at a girl's social media, particularly instagram, can give you a really good insight into their personality. As an example, I've met a lot of baddies over the years from the gym, mostly big booty latinas that are easily 9s or higher, and their instagram reflected a lot of what I witnessed in real life. Literally all of their posts consisted of pictures showing off their body, especially booty selfies, and dressed in overly revealing gym attire that was a clear cry for attention. There was one girl that I met, lost interest in her, that would upload videos on her instagram of her doing glute poses for the camera, it was bordering on soft core porn.

The one thing to consider though is that literally none of the content consisted of anything normal without them doing something try to provoke sexual attention. No pictures of their dog, normal pictures from vacation, family, hanging out with friends, etc. Literally everything was focused on showing off their body like a stripper for nothing other than attention and likes, stay away from women like this.

 

[HankHill]

Looking at a girl's social media, particularly instagram, can give you a really good insight into their personality. As an example, I've met a lot of baddies over the years from the gym, mostly big booty latinas that are easily 9s or higher, and their instagram reflected a lot of what I witnessed in real life. Literally all of their posts consisted of pictures showing off their body, especially booty selfies, and dressed in overly revealing gym attire that was a clear cry for attention. There was one girl that I met, lost interest in her, that would upload videos on her instagram of her doing glute poses for the camera.

The one thing to consider though is that literally none of the content consisted of anything normal without them doing something try to provoke sexual attention. No pictures of their dog, normal pictures from vacation, family, hanging out with friends, etc. Literally everything was focused on showing off their body like a stripper for nothing other than attention and likes, stay away from women like this.

The trend I've noticed in OLD is usually anyone that even links their Instagram to their OLD profile they're attention seekers and I generally pass on those profiles. However, that still doesn't tell you if they're the garden variety attention seekers or are BPD, NPD etc.

 

[sangheilios]

The trend I've noticed in OLD is usually anyone that even links their Instagram to their OLD profile they're attention seekers and I generally pass on those profiles. However, that still doesn't tell you if they're the garden variety attention seekers or are BPD, NPD etc.

I personally don't use online dating, I see it as time wasted that I could have spent actually approaching women and working on my game.

I don't think you should concern yourself about how to determine if a woman has BPD, NPD, etc. Doing so is a waste of time, as you aren't a psychiatrist. The goal should be able to determine what types of behaviors to look for that can help you avoid an unhealthy individual. As I mentioned, social media provides a decent insight into what these women are about. Attention seeking behavior, especially to an extreme degree which I mentioned in my previous post, should be seen as a red flag, especially when she isn't getting paid.

If you go to any nightlife venues there are women who go there specifically just to get attention and have literally no desire to meet a man there, these are almost always the ones who are dressed up in insanely provocative outfits. I can't tell you what their issues are other than the fact that you should know to avoid women like this for anything other than something purely casual.

 

[HankHill]

OLD works fine for me...better than in person but to each his own.

I'm not trying to clinically diagnose anyone but in order to avoid people with major disorders you have to know what the tell tale signs are, hence this topic. The social media is not a bad idea but there's a huge difference in those who are attention seekers online (who isn't? or else they likely won't be on social media lol) vs. those with serious issues as mentioned in the list above. Besides, not everyone is on social media.

 

[sangheilios]

By the way, I've got some more questions...

- How'd you meet these girls?

- Do you remember little things they said or did specifically, that they used to hook you?

- What's the floor for "traumatic family background"? can it be as simple as an absent father or is there always some abuse or critical neglect? will they lie about the severity, or even all of it, to play Bambi (or waif as you call it) and activate your protective instinct?

Unstable home environments whilst growing up is a good example of this, whether or not the father is actually there. Obviously a single mom household is far more likely to be more unstable compared to a 2 parent family. I've found that women who grew up in trashier/poorer environments almost always have unstable relationships and fall for "bad boys".

I dated a Mexican girl last spring that was from a VERY poor area here in AZ. She was 20 and lived at home with her mother, sister+sister's bf and their child in a 2 bedroom home. The father was absent and her mother was a bit unstable and abusive to her, would actually tell her to "**** off" when she'd ask for something. Anyway, she got bored very easily and created lots of drama and didn't really know how to handle me, as I was always really genuine and open with her. She said she felt like I was trying to get something from her whenever I'd be nice.

She was down for sex very quickly and used her body as a means to appease me and keep me interested, which I didn't mind because she was super ****able.

 

[Billtx49]

OLD works fine for me...better than in person but to each his own.

I'm not trying to clinically diagnose anyone but in order to avoid people with major disorders you have to know what the tell tale signs are, hence this topic. The social media is not a bad idea but there's a huge difference in those who are attention seekers online (who isn't? or else they likely won't be on social media lol) vs. those with serious issues as mentioned in the list above.

With time comes knowledge. The whole idea that a man can spot them on social media is idiotic at best. You have to be able to see and evaluate the red flags when they appear as you continue to interact with her…

 

[sangheilios]

OLD works fine for me...better than in person but to each his own.

I'm not trying to clinically diagnose anyone but in order to avoid people with major disorders you have to know what the tell tale signs are, hence this topic. The social media is not a bad idea but there's a huge difference in those who are attention seekers online (who isn't? or else they likely won't be on social media lol) vs. those with serious issues as mentioned in the list above. Besides, not everyone is on social media.

Honestly, I wouldn't even concern myself with something like this. Go out, meet women, date them and learn from those interactionsyou have had. Get to really know women before you catch feelings for them and you'll be fine.

 

[ubercat]

Geez I lost interest two red flags ago. Because that's all she gets before she gets kicked to the curb.

 

[BeExcellent]

Gas lighting.

But you'll not see that until you are interacting with them in person. When they gas light (because they WILL) you have to reject their premise and refuse to acquiesce.

This will create conflict (histrionics, rage, and etc.) which you will have to be unaffected by.

They will also make every conversation about them and are horrid listeners.

I should know. My mother is a malicious covert victim narcissist. Cut her entirely out of my life & my children's lives years ago.

Best. Decision. Ever.

 

[btownbuck2012]

Two words: joyful cruelty.

 

[btownbuck2012]

The ones I have experience with:

1. NPD (covert, introvert)
- traumatic family background
-no one appreciates her
-lies about accomplishments
-seems very humble and insecure but at core is an enormous ego
-hides true value system to extent they even have one
-seems like the perfect catch but something isn't right in your gut "why wouldn't people jump all over this?"
-contradictions in values and gets upset if you notice
-EXTREMELY HYPOCRITICAL
-ultimately will have extreme issues with anger, narcissistic rage, verbal abuse
- hard to detect early, only sign is traumatic family for months
-sexually promiscuous but they hide it
-liars
-sociopathic traits, legitimately enjoys hurting people
-addicted to narcissistic supply(adoration) but they hide it
-overt type is easier to detect, think Donald Trump

2. BPD
-traumatic family background
-cutter
-abandonment issues, clingy
-anger issues
-depression/suicide
-love bombing
-hot/cold cycles
-sexually promiscuous
-seem very sincere romantically
-entitled due to past trauma to do sketchy things
-often externally visible signs like tattoos, piercings

3. HPD/Somatic Narcissist
-Traumatic family background (notice the pattern)
-obsessed with attention, dress for attention, act almost like a crackhead in public flirting with anything that moves
-enjoy sexualizing/flirting with children, younger people, beta men
-attention hor on steroids
-obviously promiscuous
-shallow emotions

If you have the time, I’d be curious to see you write a post about how you’ve recovered from dealing with 3 of these.

I think even with all the posts we all write about them and all the threads that are contributed on by guys who have gone through it, it’s still generally vastly underestimated just how much damage a true cluster b can do to you at your core. I consider myself to be recovered from what happened to me with the one I dated but the lasting damage has been done. I am able to pick up on subtle tells that I’m dealing with a girl who could potentially be one and eject immediately but the problem is MOST if not ALL the women I meet give me that vibe.

How do you maintain a positive outlook and continue to press on?

 

[DEEZEDBRAH]

So what are some key signs?

Any over the top zero to a hundred overreacting. Unnecessary moodiness. Weirdo behaviour.

 

[btownbuck2012]

Well like I said I've just met much better women in every way. Nothing has really stuck and a lot of these women have a lot of issues as well and not necessarily good long-term partners but hey they are there.

You seem to do well adjusting though which is good. I’m still too blue pill tbh. I find myself constantly disppointed with the women I date but it’s becsuse my expectations are still so high. I need to work on that.