What are some things that break your self confidence?

[SamTheHobit]

What are things that break your self confidence with women and in life.

Also if other members have a way to overcome them.

I'll start off.

Although it's something I'm starting to overcome with age, seeing a girl you use to be with that left you, with a guy that's not half the person you are in character and in looks as well.
I suppose this comes down to comparing yourself with others. This not only kills my self confidence but also baffles me to no end.

 

[Skyline]

I don't want to say nothing breaks my confidence but I honestly can't think of anything that does.

Maybe if for whatever reason I can't become an officer in order to get my position, then that would probably break my confidence.

 

[bigneil]

When they get the bouncers to kick me out of the strip club.

 

[Nabucodonosor]

Getting ignored by a hot chick / not being checked out by her, when I'm trying really hard to check for her reaction. I guess this also makes them angry when we -the guys- do this to them.

 

[Genos]

For me, nothing that has to do directly with women really. It's a consequence of having a strong center in that regard, knowing how the game works, how men and women interact, the ephemeral (and sometimes random) nature of life and knowing what I can and can't control.

What can damage my self-confidence is remembering how I was in the old days - memories, really. Past regrets (some very recently even) and recalling screw-ups can kind of get to me, I have a tendency to mull them over in my head, almost self-destructively. I sometimes think I don't deserve to be with women because of the various beta mistakes and errors I've made in the past. This kind of thinking is of course, super dumb, and I'm trying to extinguish it >_>

Reading this forum, I think many others share the same problem - their (beta, loser, depressing <insert negative adjective here>) past holds them back from pursuing life with full, uninhibited passion. I myself am still struggling with this (thinking about missed opportunities, and lamenting some dumb choices I've made - not just with regards to women, but life in general), it's not like I'm enlightened or something.

The key, I've been told, is to accept that these experiences served to teach you a lesson, and that you are better off because of it. Not everything will go perfectly the first time - use that experience to further improve yourself instead of lamenting what you lost endlessly. If you're having this same problem, have a mind directed towards the present and future, occasionally checking your rearview mirror to evaluate any mistakes. Fix whatever you can that is within your power, and move forward.

 

[DaddyLongShanks]

Being nit picked can slow my confidence.
Being rejected or strung along for sex.

Theres a bunch of other things. I want to make a list so we can determine if there are work arounds that would allow certain events not to cause a bleed down of confidence...

 

[Trump]

Although it's something I'm starting to overcome with age, seeing a girl you use to be with that left you, with a guy that's not half the person you are in character and in looks as well.
I suppose this comes down to comparing yourself with others. This not only kills my self confidence but also baffles me to no end.

I used to care a lot when I saw this, but when you get older its more like: "good riddance, I don't have spend any more money on you."

But anyway, if someone or something "breaks" your confidence, you were weak to begin with. Nothing should destroy you unless you lose life or limb. You got health? You got a roof? You are somewhat educated? You got confidence. If you get sidetracked by anything that gets in your way of what you want to accomplish, you are not focused.

Women should only be there for the RIDE, if you make them out to be MORE than that, you are in trouble. :cheer:

 

[DaddyLongShanks]

I used to care a lot when I saw this, but when you get older its more like: "good riddance, I don't have spend any more money on you."

But anyway, if someone or something "breaks" your confidence, you were weak to begin with. Nothing should destroy you unless you lose life or limb. You got health? You got a roof? You are somewhat educated? You got confidence. If you get sidetracked by anything that gets in your way of what you want to accomplish, you are not focused.

Women should only be there for the RIDE, if you make them out to be MORE than that, you are in trouble. :cheer:

Amen!

It takes being educated to understand this entire concept. Many men will make the mistake of basing the core of their confidence off the reactions of women. Which can be a fine thing if women are supporting him, but once they stop he will be in the tank.

Confidence is something that is learned too...

 

[BraddH]

I have nothing. And don't think I'm not serious.

On the contrary, try to think what would make me unconfident? Nothing.

 

[Lozboss]

How do you guys get your confidence back?

I'm struggling at the moment. I'm working on improving myself but women testing me, some failures to get a second date and my lack of happiness with my body image is crushing me.

I'd welcome the advise. I've never been an unconfident person but recently the sh*t testing especially is hurting me.

 

[captain55]

What are things that break your self confidence with women and in life.

Also if other members have a way to overcome them.

I'll start off.

Although it's something I'm starting to overcome with age, seeing a girl you use to be with that left you, with a guy that's not half the person you are in character and in looks as well.
I suppose this comes down to comparing yourself with others. This not only kills my self confidence but also baffles me to no end.

That's strange, when I saw my ex with a dude nowhere near as good looking as me I just laughed. Seeing a chick with a guy better looking than me would hurt much worse.

That said the thing that ****s with my confidence the most is probably not feeling good enough to get a woman I like to be monogamous with me or being a backup option. When you above average looking but not exactly a catch (Im only 5'10 and make average money) , you deal with this **** quite a bit.

 

[Infern0]

Sometimes when dealing with a high level chick and not getting a call or text for a while can be somewhat nerve-wracking, the urge to blink first starts to creep in but I remember that never got me anywhere in the past. I wait it out now and 90% of times it works.

This one girl it took 10 days!

 

[RangerMIke]

Failure wreaks confidence.

The best way to fight this is to NOT involve yourself with women that have low interest in you.

Learn how to identify the signs that she just isn't into you, take that at face value, and move on. She's not texting you back, well don't get pi$$ed off, just move on, delete the number and find a women that wants to rock your world.

If your confidence is shaken it's because you are letting your ego get in the way of having a good time. Would you rather get ignored and dissed by a 9 or 10, or would you rather get a BJ from a 7-8? Just stop chasing women that aren't interested. First.... understand it's a waste of time, second the MORE you obsess over a women like this the more INVESTED you are and the harder it is to walk away. It becomes a self fulfilling prophecy.

Don't waste time with women that have little interest in you.

 

[RangerMIke]

Sometimes when dealing with a high level chick and not getting a call or text for a while can be somewhat nerve-wracking, the urge to blink first starts to creep in but I remember that never got me anywhere in the past. I wait it out now and 90% of times it works.

This one girl it took 10 days!

I agree with this, but keep in mind you should NOT be doing this as a means of getting a girl. You should be walking away because she is showing you low interest and you are ONLY going to give attention to women that reciprocate. If she reaches out to you great.... if she doesn't.... well who cares.

I have a date with a woman (HB-9, rich, has more orbiters than Jupiter) this Friday that I walked away from 5 months ago, she called me last week out of the blue. When they do this, it usually means they want you to do something.... fail to take action and you will lose your opportunity.

 

[DaddyLongShanks]

On these mythical 9's if you do not give them the attention, many times you will become to look interesting to them because they will wonder why.

So you cannot persue them no matter how smitten you are. Be patient and wait. If you got the phone numbers you got a chance and you do not have to sit there and become a beta orbiter if you don't want to.

 

[Desdinova]

The only thing that messes up my confidence is a long string of unfruitful dates and/or interactions with women. When I'm putting in tons of effort and getting no results, that's when I start feeling like 5hit.

I can deal with the bad breakups, the occasional rejection and seeing ex-gfs with new guys. I know that these chicks aren't going to get anything remotely as good as me

 

[prison/con.net]

I've never even had it slowed down. I've heard that such an attitube is a sign of psychopathy, but I've never cared what other people thought.

 

[bigneil]

Sure. A guy who uses smiley faces has never been shot down in his life.

 

[captain55]

On these mythical 9's if you do not give them the attention, many times you will become to look interesting to them because they will wonder why.

So you cannot persue them no matter how smitten you are. Be patient and wait. If you got the phone numbers you got a chance and you do not have to sit there and become a beta orbiter if you don't want to.

Im going through this now. Solid 9 shows absolutely no interest in me whatsoever (never texts me first and Im sure wouldnt give a **** if i never called her again) but at the same time shell have no problems giving up her saturday night plans and driving 45 minutes to see me when I hit her up. Women can be attracted to you without being interested in you I guess.

I do wonder if I blow off plans with her this week and go ghost for a while if that would make her interested in me.

 

[old married dude]

Getting flaked on really kinda gets to me. When it happens I sit and think about what it was that I did wrong when in reality it was probably nothing.