What about virgins?

[gargamel]

I'm sorry if this thread has been started before!

I have no problems having mad sex with a 25-year old self-concious girl with some sexual exp., two hours after meeting her.

But now I'm dating a 17-year-old HB7.5.. She's a real cutie, and (first one after a while) we really clicked mentally. So we got to the point of being in bed together (the long story I posted few days ago) and when it came to the point where I usually go for the sweet thang, something stopped me - the thought of her most probably being a virgin. A ain't afraid of the act of defloration itself, it's the psychological consequences it could have on her. Maybe it's stupid - PuertoRican boi would now probably say that I shoulda gave that hor what she deserves - but she was so vulnerable in my hands at that time, that I decided to wait for a better moment, cause that moment just didn't feel right. It's the most sacred thing for some girls, the least I could do is show some respect for it.

I slept with a virgin only once, but it almost wouldn't count, cause we were young and were dating for 1,5 yrs at the time. So those of you who done it properly, please reflect on it.. I don't want to know the juicy details, just the psychological moment of it...

... last thing I want is to have a girl suffer serious life-time consequences and sexual frustrations, just because I did sth. stupid...

 

[JH6]

did you ask her if she was or not?

Its really no party, i've had one in my day and it usually is not great sex and you are afraid to hurt her.

 

[PuertoRican_Lover]

Every hor was a virgin at one time - they gotta start somewhere - it's her voluntary will - you are just the second party!

If you just met her then she is probably lying too you and she is no virgin! Every girl says she is a virgin but it is a most likely lie for respctability

 

[Delta Male]

Hey man,

Awesome job on getting to the point where you could have laid this girl. Virgins generally provide more anti-slut defense than non-virgins.

Your frame for looking at this needs adjusting however. You said that it was "the most sacred thing to her, and you need to show respect for it." This sounds like you think that by having sex with her, you would be disrespecting her and taking advantage of her.

The way I approach it, is that sex is a gift that I give to each girl. This is an easy frame for me to take because I am good in bed, which is a skill you can learn like anything else. I know that I can give a girl multiple orgasms and generally rock her world. I've had sex with two virgins, and each time, I was glad that I could make their first sexual experience so incredible and memorable.

You are not disrespecting her by having sex with her. Of course, you should strive to make the occasion special as much as you can, but even if you cannot, it is disrespectful to not give her the gift of sex with you, and to force her to make her first time with some lesser man. By holding back, you cause many more sexual frustrations -- she may think she's not attractive, you don't like her, etc. and develop insecurities.

So, the next time the opportunity presents itself, have sex with her and make it memorable and special. After all, this is really a sacred thing, and you are really the one best fit to do it with her.

-Dan

 

[Disconnect]

I slept with a virgin once, and I have to say it was very emotional for her. Yes, girls treasure their virginity because they are conditioned to. Show some feeling for her.

 

[PRMoon]

Who cares? Virgin or not, I'm in it to win it with hot girls. I've gotten virgins to shack up the easy way and the hard way just like any other girl.

 

[OzyBoy]

I haven't, well not yet anyway.

 

[chuchu]

The sex is only good when I really have strong feelings for the girl.

 

[gargamel]

Originally posted by chuchu
The sex is only good when I really have strong feelings for the girl.

Agreed!

You went a little overboard w/ the "ONLY", but yes, sex is definitly BETTER when there are feelings involved.

Actualy, some aspects of this DJ stuff gave me a lot of trouble, cause I'm a very emotional guy.. But it is also kinda fun having to hold back your true emotions sometimes.

But I still occasionally have difficulties understanding, controling and reacting in some pre-sex situations. Sex is my wildcard, never had a girl not wanting more... But getting there is still difficult. Had a lot of them telling me they wished I was their "first one", or they never had an experience like this... All thanks to tha BIBLE!

You are not disrespecting her by having sex with her. Of course, you should strive to make the occasion special as much as you can, but even if you cannot, it is disrespectful to not give her the gift of sex with you, and to force her to make her first time with some lesser man. By holding back, you cause many more sexual frustrations -- she may think she's not attractive, you don't like her, etc. and develop insecurities.

Ok, this helpes a lot.
You could say I had a hunch about this girl.. Her train of thought was like:
OK, I have no idea, what's going on because I never done it before
He maybe just wants to fvck me and then leave!
I can't let this guy be my first one!!!
I still have no idea how the fvck am I supposed to act now. And what's his hand doing grabbing my curves!!??

I really do care for her, and I want her to WANT to have sex, not just to BE OK WITH IT and just "go with the flow".

My head is so fvckd up!

 

[PRMoon]

Originally posted by chuchu
The sex is only good when I really have strong feelings for the girl.

I think the sex is best for me when the girl is really enthusiastic about it. I've had girls take me back to their hotel rooms in a serious hurry, some i seriously thought were going to hit the stop button on the elevator. Then they go nuts when we're back in their room. Serious ravaging. Conversely I've had shy girls who just want to get railed and you can see the nervousness and anticipation in their eyes thinking about it. There's a whole range of girls inbetween but typically when the girls REALLY into it, the sex is really good for me.

Conversely if it's a girl who's just going through the motions then i'm not so into it. I've walked out on b*tches because the sex was so bland. That's not a good time for either party and I'm not so hard up for it that I'll waste my time and energy on something that i'm not that interested in.

 

[Mister Big]

I've been with about a half dozen or so virgins in my life, so let me share some experiences. I had more than just a physical thing with most, but some just wanted to loose their virginity to someone decent just like many men do. Little emotional investment needs to be involved with most virgins unless they are your LTR. There are limitless scenarios, but none where I thought the woman would suffer any long term psychological damage. They can be get connected to you afterwards.

The chances of having great sex with a virgin are slim to none the first time, but if I had been with more maybe I could have developed special skills. Problems with their being really tight and dry due to nervousness and general pain are very common, etc.. Bring some lubrication to soften the experience for her.

I agree that good sex involves a partner that enjoys it. However, one of the reasons I like to have sex initially with some women is just to find out what they will be like. The expression on their face, their response to touch, sounds, etc. A great book about a DJ and his similar desire is called "The Unbearable Lightness of Being." One cool aspect of virgins is they don't know how to react to what you are doing, and you get to see their response to sex for the first time. This can be pure and memorable as long as the pain is minimal. Plus the chance of getting an STD is close to zero.