What about those "other" kinds of girls?

[Mercury21]

This is not a question for those of you who are out for just a quick fvck or ONS at a club.

This question does not even relate to those kinds of girls who have had many boyfriends/sexual experiences.

This question has to do with those girls who are very picky about the kinds of guys they date, do not drink, do not party, and have never had sex before.

I'm sure we have all come across these kinds of girls before. No, they are not nescessarily "christian" girls. They are no different than any other kind of girl...the only difference is that they are not sluts!

Well, my current girlfriend is one of those girls. Yep, you may remember my post a little over a month ago titled, "should I have closed the deal?"

Well the girl from that story is now my GF.

Ok...she is a spetacular girl(although I am even more spetacular ) She is VERY attractive, very sweet, likes to talk alot, and gets along very well with everybody. I always make the date decisions and she always goes along with everything I say. And we ALWAYS have fun wherever we end up going. Sounds pretty good, right?

Best of all she is not the party kind of girl.. so a night chilling at my place or her's is perfect for her. She does not have that itch to go out and party all the time like some girls do. She is very family oriented, and even complains to me about her brother a little because her brother IS the party type who has ONS. This is how I know what "kind" of girl she is and where her beliefs lie.

So my question-for those of you who actually have EXPERIENCE with these kinds of girls- is this: Does IL and the whole disassociation to create attraction work with the same way?

It was through those actions that I probably created attraction in her in the first place, no doubt. But now, 1 month later we are already fairly close, her parents adore me, as does her brother who is always wanting to go out and have drinks with me...NO, not in a gay way

So after all that, do all those "tacticts" we use here at sosuave to create attraction still nescessary? Is talking on the phone with her for an hour still bad?

Obviously I still have my confident mindset going at all times, combined with a ****y&funny attitude. She really likes me...weather or not it has anything to do with all that I don't know. But what is throwing me into a spin is that most of the tips here at sosuave are aimed at either:

1. Creating intial attraction and keeping it going through the first few dates. Or,

2. Getting a ONS after a night at the local bar/club.


Plus, on top of that I feel that most of these things we learn here are aimed at seducing the party girl types who are used to being hit on alot and have had various boyfriends.

But what about the girls who have never had sex? What about the girls who have certain "morals" when it comes to things like sex and drinking?

And what about the tips for Relationships?? They are few and far in between here at sosuave. That is why I am reaching out to you guys to give me some of your tips on how to proceed with this girl...keeping in mind what kind of girl she is.

Should I keep up the disassociation? Should I still NEVER talk to her for very long on the phone? Should I still NEVER agree to go over to her house if she invites me over at the last minute?

The relationship is going great, but if its one thing I have learned from many relationships in the past is that they are like a wheel. One second you are on top and the next you are on the bottom.

Who here has never had that happen: A relationship starts off great and before they know it the girl has lost interest and everything has gone sour.

I don't suspect that would ever happen with this girl I am with, but just to keep my bases covered I want to hear what you guys have to say about this.

Give me your tips on how much I should see/talk to her. Let me know if I should keep up the mystery and still give her the gift of missing me

Oh...I must mention this little detail.

The other night we were making out in my car and things were getting heated up. I proceeded to begin to caress her breasts...she didn't mind at all. Then I put my hand inside her shirt and began to go inside her bra. She didnt tell me to stop but I could sense she was reacting to it.

I wanted to put a sexual discussion out in the open so I asked her if she felt comfortable with me doing that. She said yes, but I could tell she wanted to say more. I pressured her into saying what it was and she finally sayed,

"Its just that....well, I have kisssed guys before,my last boyfriend. But I never let any of them touch me like that before. And with you...it seems right, and I want you to. But, I don't know, I'm just scared." Then I aske her why she just didn't tell me that and she said she was scared it would scare me away! Get that? She was scared that nobody ever touching her like that beofre would scare me away!

What the hell do you guys make out of that? Gives you an idea of what I am talking about when I say she is not a slut who has had alot of sex!

Then as we were cuddling she sayed that she feels very safe in my arms...she doesn't know why but she just does. Thats great, but what the hell does all of this mean??

I need you guys to be my drinking buddies right now and give those tips and advices that I know only you guys can!

 

[Skel]

I have dated a girl like this. We had a LTR of 2-3 years. Im not sure how old you or your girl are but morales and values change.
My girlfriend was a virgin, didnt drink, didnt do anything. This doesent answer your question but my girflriend changed during college. She became a slut, a lush and a *****. Worst of all is I thought I would take her virginity, marry her etc and then she just flipped. Just be careful about fallin for girls like this. They can hurt you.

 

[Ice Cold]

LOL

She had to say it because of the ASD. As a girl, she can't just say: "yeah, I like it. Please bend me over and then finish me in the mouth"



As a "good" type of girl she gave you permission by saying "yes, I am comfortable, it's ok to touch, but know that I don't usually do it"

You have a green light to sex. Basically the seduction is now over, next time you isolate her, take off her bra... and basically it's sex after that.

So read up on sex dude.

Congrats - she's yours. Even her bro is ok with you screwing her, which is rare

 

[heater528]

HAHAH yeah i agree.... i had a girl like that in HS. She would always get upset when i drank and hung out with my friends. She went to church every Sunday and we dated for 4 years, i was her first and only ****.. however she went to college and HOLY CRAP she went insane.. i couldnt figure it out all of a sudden she was drunk everynight and wanted space... sooooooo i was destroyed, found this site and am glad me and her are done.

 

[Mercury21]

You guys know EXACTLY the kind of girl I am talking about. I was afraid yall would be confused!


Damn! Those were some scary stories skel and heater! I bet you guys didnt see that coming. That is what I am scared might happen here...even though it seems like a long shot, you just never know do you?

Ice Cold, it probably was an ASD. I'm just not sure exactly HOW to take it to a sexual level. Thats because I have never dated a "nice" girl before. With other kinds of girls I am smooth when it comes to bridging from making out to sex.

But with my "nice" GF I am a little cautious!

Thanks for the input guys! That was really good.

But what do you guys think about the other things I mentioned? After being together for 1 month and becoming very close, should I keep up the sosuave techniques of:

dissapearing every once in a while

NOT getting together with her on weekends

and all that other stuff. Mind you that I am and always will be very confident, calm, and comfortable around her. Plus I keep a pretty good degree of mystery around her, even after 1 month.

But now I find myself talking more and more with her on the phone. Spending more and more time with her out around town and at home.

I just don't know if this could lead to disaster down the road, or if I don't have anything to worry about. What do you guys say?

 

[Roots]

Merc. You're on the right track. As far as this site is concerned, it did it's job helping you get the girl and get personal. At this stage you're into the STR/LTR development. I'm going to try to give you a few tips and recommendations on how you can turn this relationship into something nice for both of you.

1. Put the Bible down. At this point its time for you to figure out how you want the relationship to come along. Each couple is unique, and whatever you do to improve your relations will define who you two will become.

2. The IL is pretty much fixed. So long as you open up to your girl every once in a while and you feel comfortable doing it, don't worry about being c+f or too challenging. Just show your personality and relax on the "techniques". Think - people all over the world are able to keep good healthy relationships without any advice - its not because they are born with it. It's just common sense.

3. Once you get to about 3-4 months along, don't worry about "Oh she invited me at the last minute, should I go or not? Should I pretend I'm busy?" Answer: Don't be an idiot. Do you want to go? Yes? Then go. If you don't, tell her you don't feel like it. Common sense goes a long way.

4. Relationships ARE like a wheel, and if they weren't they wouldn't be as fun to go into. The idea behind being on the bottom is knowing that you'll get back up eventually. If you never disagree, both of you will commit suicide from the boredom.

5. At this point, the only way the girl will lose interest is if you're either an inately boring person in general, if she didn't like you to begin with, or if you do something EXTREMELY stupid. Avoid these three areas and you're home free.

6. You're doing great with the advance-to-sex. Just keep bumping it up a notch every once in a while, and you'll be in the sac in no time. Not to say that is your goal, but if you don't do it, she might get extremely sexually frustrated and bored. (ie. Skel's case) This girl is really into you, and if you keep up the sexual innuendos, she'll lose it to you.

Ultimately: What I say in a lot of threads. Use Common Sense. If she says she feels safe in your arms, then she feels safe in your arms. Not she wants to go for a walk. Listen to her just a bit, and keep developing the sex-life. You got your work cut out for you, and so long as you don't keep her virgin for 2-3 more years, you're on your way.

heater528: Thats daym strange, I'd really like to hear your full story, cuz it makes no sense to me right now.

--Roots

 

[Mercury21]

Roots,

You are the MAN!

Seriously...thank you buddy. That was incredible advice! You are absolutley right. Sosuave did its part in helping me get the girl. For that I am ever greatful.

But now I shall put the bible down, as you say and just do whatever is natural.

Besides, what would be the fun in a relationship if we were never on the bottom of that wheel?

As I always tell my friends,like a wheel, sometimes you are on top and sometimes you are on the bottom. But that is the only way you can move forward.

You were spot on about everything, Roots. Thank you, and Skel, heater, and Ice Cold for their really good input too.

I would also like more details on heater's story....that was VERY unexpected. You too skel...tell us more!

 

[JSH]

Well, you seem to have a dodgy attitude to other girls, it doenst make it moral to not have sex or not drink. It just means that she has different values to other girls. Not all girls are sluts, maybe she is worried about how she will appear to you and others which is why she was scared of escalating it. Maybe she never had the chance before. I do not think that you can jsut write off other girls in such a fashion. Everyone is an indivudal but props to you for finding and keeping the individual that you want and are happy with.

Just do what you are comfortable with and go with the flow, the aim is not to scare or bore her off. Leave some excitement in the relationship.

 

[Mercury21]

I never said it was moral not to drink or have sex. I simply stated those were HER morals.

If I thought the same way, I would be a hipocrite considering all the drinking I've done and sex I've had in the past.

Thanks for the tip though,JSH....

What I was origonally confused about was this. I know that to create attraction we must "dissapear" every now and then. Give women the gift of missing us, like David D says.

I did that in the beginning. Weather or not it had anything to do with her current attraction for me I don't know. All I know is that she digs me.

But now I don't know if I should keep up the whole "don't call her" and "don't see her too much" stuff or if we are way past all of that.

Root really gave great insight into what I should do. But as always I would LOVE to hear anymore tips/input you guys could give about all this.

 

[Slickster]

I didn't even read your whole post or any of the responses but here's something to consider.

Don't treat any woman differently. Treat them all the same.

Just because she's Miss Goody Two Shoes doesn't mean that she doesn't want the same things as any girl. Sex included.

 

[PuertoRican_Lover]

Mercury, this is my kind of girl, can I borrow her for a few days? I won't hurt her!

This is how it is with virgins who have the virgin mindset...once you have her mind (she sees and respects you as worthy) you have her trust, and once you have her trust you have her body, and once you have her body you have her soul!!!!

Now remember, every hor and every prostitute was a virgin at one time, so being a virgin on it's own standing doesn't make her a 'good' girl. She must have the virgin mindset whereby she values herself and has principles that supersede in importance of her fleshly desires!

Be careful though, she could be a freak in hiding, as Skel and heater experienced! Don't get too emotionally involved too early because these are the kind of girls that will rip your heart out and leave a 300 pound man crying like a cold hungry baby who has a severe case of diaper rash!

Be natural and sincere with her - there are no limits or rules when two people really enjoy each others conversations and company - just don't become needy and overbearing - this would come off as being less than a man in a woman's eyes!!