What a FRUSTRATING situation

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Hi

I just have to write this and ask for help, because the situation I'm in gets really, really frustrating. It's simple, there's a classmate I really want (yes, one-itis - and don't advice me to get rid of this, my goal is to GET HER) and I'm absolutely sure she wants me too (maybe not as much as I want her, but she does for sure) for a looooooooong time (don't ask how much, it's just been so fvcking long that I'm ashamed to admit). Although there is a lot of flirting and heavy kino almost every day, I just can't do the next step probably because of those three reasons:

1. she's my classmate - this is the first barrier. I can imagine (actually, I already did a few times) trying to go to the next step with someone who I wouldn't have to see anymore if the action was unsuccessful, but this is kind of limiting. This is a little compensated by the fact that I'm 80% sure she wouldn't reject me, but still...

2. she's my one-itis - same like the above, another limiting fact if you get what I'm saying

3. i don't really know how the next step should look like - this is probably the only point you can help me with - what exactly should I do to start a relationship with her?

:nervous:

Thank you
D. H. A.
 

marianne

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Why don't you just relax and ask her out? The worst that could happen is she'll say no, though I don't see why she would. Ask her out for dinner, and tell her you think she's really pretty. I'm a girl so I know this will probably work, especially since it sounds like she likes you. I've been there, it's not that big a deal if she even says no! Just smile and say okay, well no harm in asking. Then continue to be as friendly as you have been, and whatever you do, don't mope about it. Then talk to some other girls in your class. She'll probably change her mind once she sees you're a hot commodity!
 

DanelMadr

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Get her somewhere private.

'Would you fancy a walk to a coffe house with the love of your life, noble lady?'
 

ProDJ26

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agreed with danelmadr. ISOLATE HER! it will be alot easier. (trust me)
ask her out... if she says no....WHO CARES

NEXT HER! otherwise read the dj bible
 

marianne

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no! don't say that she'll think you're an egomaniac. LISTEN TO ME I AM A FEMALE.
 

DanelMadr

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marianne said:
Why don't you just relax and ask her out? The worst that could happen is she'll say no, though I don't see why she would. Ask her out for dinner, and tell her you think she's really pretty. I'm a girl so I know this will probably work, especially since it sounds like she likes you. I've been there, it's not that big a deal if she even says no! Just smile and say okay, well no harm in asking. Then continue to be as friendly as you have been, and whatever you do, don't mope about it. Then talk to some other girls in your class. She'll probably change her mind once she sees you're a hot commodity!
Are you for real? UH OH. Have you ever asked a girl out...being lesbian? Yeah I know you love to hear you are pretty but it does not mean you love the speaker, right?! ;)
 

DanelMadr

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marianne said:
no! don't say that she'll think you're an egomaniac. LISTEN TO ME I AM A FEMALE.
They know each other ;) You are a scam....make opposite of MARIANNE says:D
 

marianne

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NO, I'm not a lesbian! Sheesh! Not that there's anything wrong with that yadda yadda. Okay so pretty was probably not as good as saying she is nice and you like her. That's better. i just mean that those are ways of communicating to a girl that you wanna be more than friends without actually saying that
 

flippinfreak

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DanelMadr said:
They know each other ;) You are a scam....make opposite of MARIANNE says:D
LOL!! Marianne and the girl your after know eachother!! It's a scam, they planned this together, don't listen, do the opposite of what Marianne says!!!:D

marianne, that is the way we men, are treated when a WE want a relationship, and she feels so bad that she wants to break it 'nicely' to a guy that she only wants to be friends. She says "your nice' "you deserve better' 'I wish there were more guys like you' but when the guy asks her out he gets the "oh your so nice, I thought we were good friends, I don't want to ruin our relationship'

Can you imagine DanelMadr saying what he said in the tone of a man that you would actually desire? I can imagine myself saying that in a confident way and it actually having the effect I desire. It's just another way of saying that we're going on a date. I see nothing, and hear nothing that says 'egomaniac'.

Of course it could be said "I am the love of your life, would you like to go for coffee". Read it now, would somebody who was an egomanic, submit to requesting a "noble lady" to come on a date with him?
 

Charm

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DanelMadr said:
Get her somewhere private.

'Would you fancy a walk to a coffe house with the love of your life, noble lady?'
That is funny and probably works. I'll give that try soon. Too funny not too.
 

Fash

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Dude,

There are some funny replies here, but on a serious note...

Think of it this way: If you ask her out, she will either say yes or no.

If she says yes: then you KNOW she is interested, you take her out, ACTIVITY DATE!!!! and there you have your isolation, you can go kino, kiss close, etc...

If she says no: then she will put you out of your misery. You can then move on instead of suffering all this "one-itis" crap.

If you think about it, you have nothing to lose! Even if she says "no" to going out, she will still want to stay friends with you. Trust me.

How do you know that she isn't absolutely gagging for you to ask her out??? The more you leave it, the more she will think of you as an AFC!

Grab your balls and go for it! You are the man, you are a PUA and she should be privilage that you are even considering taking her out. You are a cool and exciting guy and you are going to show her the best time of her life!

Now go get her, and let us know how you get on!
 

Tomatoes

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Ok alot of the above are not advice but the usual ****.

First thing you MUST do is change your mindset.....IF you dont do this you wont succeed.

By this i mean your post.......you listed 3 reasons why you "think" you cant get with her......Ask yourself. If i told you to list the reasons why you SHOULD try with her.....would they outweight those 3? I think so......many times over....


Your focussing on the negatives. Your purely channeling down the "whatif" scenario's but your only looking at the paths where you fail. Thinking like this you will never sort your oneitis by GETTING THE GIRL.

You like her. You think she likes you.....what else is needed?

You to get off your bum and try!

You know you can do this.....your scared thow....you need to get rid of that fear. Stop pedistooling her.

After you have done the above.....you can start looking into PU. More info is needed if you want ideas. When do you interact with her? Your not in the friend zone? Common intrests?
 

snobby

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marianne said:
Why don't you just relax and ask her out? The worst that could happen is she'll say no, though I don't see why she would. Ask her out for dinner, and tell her you think she's really pretty. I'm a girl so I know this will probably work, especially since it sounds like she likes you. I've been there, it's not that big a deal if she even says no! Just smile and say okay, well no harm in asking. Then continue to be as friendly as you have been, and whatever you do, don't mope about it. Then talk to some other girls in your class. She'll probably change her mind once she sees you're a hot commodity!
:crackup: :crackup: :crackup: :crackup: :crackup: :crackup: :crackup: :crackup: :crackup:

:(
 
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OK, I made up a pretty smart way to ask her out I think... I suppose I should kiss her at the end of the date, but how do I make the kiss expected (to not just do it all of a sudden)?

Tomatoes said:
When do you interact with her?
Usually at or after school or when she's partying with me and my friends, I rarely come to her - sometimes she comes to me, sometimes when we're "forced" by a situation. Once a month or two there are so strong vibes that she becomes kind of shy around me the next day (no she doesn't have any personality issues)

Tomatoes said:
Your not in the friend zone?
No way, I'm sure, really.

Tomatoes said:
Common intrests?
Can't think of any, maybe sport, but common interests is not what makes attraction is it?
 

jack knife

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If you're unsure about kissing, you can kiss her on the cheek. It's pretty safe, and will still give her that feeling of affection. Plus if you do it well, she'll be anticipating the real one.
 

Macgyver

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for a person that uses the name "Alpha" seems like you're not much of a true leader here, take the advice others have given you and see if you can alpha yourself out.

you beta.
 
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Macgyver said:
for a person that uses the name "Alpha" seems like you're not much of a true leader here, take the advice others have given you and see if you can alpha yourself out.

you beta.
So are you, because you still feel the need to put someone down and the fact that you do it even on a discussion board makes it even worse... You didn't succeed though, you're funny.

BTW I'm considered to be the leader in my social groups and it doesn't depend much on whether or not I am willing to take advice on a discussion board.

:moon:

But please don't let this thread go off-topic and only post intelligent and constructive replies, thanks.
 

Tomatoes

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Dont worry about Macgyver....Hes the resident local troll atm. I have put threw for him to get banned. Admins are watching his posts so expect it soon...

Back on topic.....

Whats this smart way of asking her?

To get a kiss close requires one thing. Kino. You have to intialise kino for a kiss close. So you can get close. From your posts it sounds like this girl is really up for you. Her shyness would be the only issue but seeing as YOU are making the moves thats not an issue.

When going for a kiss close. I find the technique off the film "Hitch" works well. That is you go 90% and then stop. Then she comes the other 10% to intiate the kiss. As soon as you move in she will see whats going off and i bet you shes been waiting for it for some time.

Get on it! FR on your progress!

Sarge on!
 
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