we've had sex for a month, now she wants to wait until marriage

[CFERD]

This is a really weird situation. I started dating a woman around the first of December. We weren't intimate until the third week. A month or so is typically the norm for me. I don't mind waiting, in fact I'd say it's better when you do. Anyhow, the first time consisted of me going downtown, things didn't progress further because she told me God would be angry if we did IT..... HUH? Um, what about spending almost an hour making her moan. I guess God was ok with that. OK though, a no is always a no. So I didn't even attempt to change her mind. The next few nights were basically the same as the first. I didn't mind giving and not receiving. I think it was after the fourth night of this that around three or so in the morning we both half awoke and started doing it. Then again in the morning. No problems. Two adults who obviously care a great deal for eachother. So over the next few weeks, there have been close to a dozen times, more than half where just like in the begininng she is taken care of before things progress. I never heard another mention about God being angry.

Last week was our first argument. Allowing my dog to sleep in the bed is something she disapproves of. OK, the dog sleeps on her dog bed when she is over. When shes not here, I don't see why it would matter where the dog sleeps. I'm willing to comprimise, my partner's happiness is important to me. So she calls to apologize, I tell her it's ok, I understand and no need to be sorry. The next nite she calls and again wants to apologize, I again tell her no problem, it's not a big issue. She already apologized and I'm ok. Apparently she concluded that I was still upset by her request. After a few minutes on the phone she says I'll call you tomorrow. So five days go by without hearing from her. I could have called during those days, I'll admit. But I waited until Saturday to call her.I asked her why she didn't call, she said she didn't want to upset me. Lame excuse, but so is mine for not picking up the phone myself. Everything seemed fine, I went over to see her. I invited her to come home with me and stay over. She said she had to get up early. So I agreed to have dinner with her the following night. While having dinner she tells me that she wants to wait until marriage before having anymore sex.
I was too shocked to even ask if that ment only intercourse or if everything was off limits. I'm at the age where waking up next to your SO is just as nice as shagging them. I'm certain she knows I'm not only with her for sex. I have no idea what to make of this. I know she wants a husband, and she has told me once or twice that I need a wife. After knowing someone for a few short months and only dating for a few of them, what to make for dinner, thinking of fun dates and ways to show I care are the things I think about. I have no idea what to make of this. Could it be her clock is ticking really fast and she wants to move things along. Or is it just a test. I realise people are free to change their mind. I'm just really surprised, because there was no doubt she really enjoyed our intimate moments. Now if I decide I don't want to adapt to her lifestyle choice I'll probablty feel like a pig because I wanted sex in a exclusive relationship.. any insight would be appreciated

 

[librito]

DUMP HER......SHE IS USING SEX AS A WEAPON TO CONTROL AND MANIPULATE YOU. now you know how she will behave after marrying her. what she is doing at this moment is what we call a "power move". if you marry her, she will punish you for a month without sex every time you do something that she dont like.
also, the reason she had sex with you is because she wants you to marry her and for that reason she gave you a sample of her vagina and then took it away from you. its like the drug dealers do to the drug addicts in the hood. first, the drug dealers give them a piece of the drug for free to get them "hooked", but the next time the addicts want more of the drugs, they will have to pay for it. the way you will pay for that vagina is by marrying her.

 

[Ganondorf]

Lol @ God will be angry if we do it

Where does she go to church?

I've never heard this argument before

in that case God is angry at the entire human race all the time

 

[DJDamage]

Interesting that when she really lusted for your body, the mighty God all of the sudden was brushed aside for the temptation of the flesh.

Now all of the sudden God is important to her after she has been playing games with you and starting a stupid argument over a week ago?!

Bottom line: she is losing interest.

 

[Maxtro]

I'm the farthest thing from an expert on relationships, but I think you should pretend she never said that. Continue on like it's business as normal and try to sleep with her again. If she adamantly refuses then you might have an issue.

 

[Bible_Belt]

Your bed still smells like dog. You and pooch have to sleep separately, so that the next girl is not grossed out. Go out with next girl, and it is likely that no-sex girl will become booty-call girl.

 

[horaholic]

This is a really weird situation. I started dating a woman around the first of December. We weren't intimate until the third week. A month or so is typically the norm for me. I don't mind waiting, in fact I'd say it's better when you do.

You should change that philosiphy. The longer you wait for sex, the more time you waste, if she's not right for you.

Anyhow, the first time consisted of me going downtown, things didn't progress further because she told me God would be angry if we did IT..... HUH? Um, what about spending almost an hour making her moan. I guess God was ok with that.

God hates hypocrisy. She didnt return the favor? God hates selfishness also.

OK though, a no is always a no. So I didn't even attempt to change her mind.

O.k. you need to man up here. When it comes to chicks, no usually means 'not yet. please try again when I am in the mood.'

The next few nights were basically the same as the first. I didn't mind giving and not receiving.

Why would you put up a selfish bytch like that? You are supplicating to her, and not being a man about it. I'll bet God's dissappointed in you for that. Jesus did whatever the fvck he wanted, within his own morality. This chick is taking you for a ride.

I think it was after the fourth night of this that around three or so in the morning we both half awoke and started doing it. Then again in the morning. No problems. Two adults who obviously care a great deal for each other. So over the next few weeks, there have been close to a dozen times, more than half where just like in the begining she is taken care of before things progress. I never heard another mention about God being angry.

This to me, says she will sacrifice her ethics whenever its convenient for her. How many BJ's has she dished out? Does she use God as an excuse for that too?

Last week was our first argument. Allowing my dog to sleep in the bed is something she disapproves of. OK, the dog sleeps on her dog bed when she is over. When shes not here, I don't see why it would matter where the dog sleeps. I'm willing to comprimise, my partner's happiness is important to me.

Compromising is one thing. You are supplicating to her. Its YOUR house, and YOUR dog, and YOUR bed. So your bed smells like dog, big deal. Your compromise should be giving your dog more baths, so it smells better.

I had a GF freak out when she found out I had a shotgun. Like a chump I told her I would send it to my parents. I got rid of the shells, but never sent it, because its a real pain in the ass to legally send a gun through the mail, so I just stashed it. A few months later, some steroid freak she was fvcking behind my back, started smashing through my front door when I was getting in the shower. The only thing I could do, was bluff him out with my unloaded shotgun. I pointed it at his head, when he got through my door, then he charged me and wrestled the gun out of my hands, while his buddy was socking me in the head. I barely made it out of my apartment alive. Granted, Im glad I didnt have to blow his fvcking head off, but I could have been killed. All because I supplicated to my GF against my own better reasoning.


So she calls to apologize, I tell her it's ok, I understand and no need to be sorry. The next nite she calls and again wants to apologize, I again tell her no problem, it's not a big issue. She already apologized and I'm ok. Apparently she concluded that I was still upset by her request. After a few minutes on the phone she says I'll call you tomorrow. So five days go by without hearing from her. I could have called during those days, I'll admit. But I waited until Saturday to call her.I asked her why she didn't call, she said she didn't want to upset me. Lame excuse, but so is mine for not picking up the phone myself.

The fact is, you are upset by her request, and she can sense that. Dont lie to her and say its ok. Man up. She will respect that from you, even if it seems like she doesnt. If are going to supplicate and keep your dog off your bed for her, you should at least tell her that you arent happy about it, and she better make it worth your while. Your dog is more important than her. You need to realize that. Your dog will NEVER lie to you, or let you down, make excuses, start fights, etc. Then she wont call you because she doesnt want to upset you? Thats absolutely ridiculous.

Everything seemed fine, I went over to see her. I invited her to come home with me and stay over. She said she had to get up early.

Did she even invite you over to her house?

So I agreed to have dinner with her the following night. While having dinner she tells me that she wants to wait until marriage before having anymore sex.
I was too shocked to even ask if that ment only intercourse or if everything was off limits. I'm at the age where waking up next to your SO is just as nice as shagging them.

How old are you? Dont use your age as an excuse to put up with that shyt. The older you are, the more you should know that YOU have needs that need to be met, or you can walk away.

I'm certain she knows I'm not only with her for sex. I have no idea what to make of this. I know she wants a husband, and she has told me once or twice that I need a wife.

Well, as long as SHE tells you that. Does she tell you when you need to take a dump too?

After knowing someone for a few short months and only dating for a few of them, what to make for dinner, thinking of fun dates and ways to show I care are the things I think about. I have no idea what to make of this. Could it be her clock is ticking really fast and she wants to move things along. Or is it just a test.

You're damn right its a test. She testing you to see if you will be her bytch for the rest of your life, and so far, you get an A, dude.

I realise people are free to change their mind. I'm just really surprised, because there was no doubt she really enjoyed our intimate moments. Now if I decide I don't want to adapt to her lifestyle choice I'll probablty feel like a pig because I wanted sex in a exclusive relationship.. any insight would be appreciated

Adapt to HER lifestyle choice? Really? If you feel like a pig for wanting your God given RIGHT to have sex, then you have been seriously brainwashed. This chick has you under her thumb. What the fvck does this chick do for you, that any other chick couldnt do? She's trying to trick you into marrying her, and you think it will get better if you do?

You should drop this chick. Not because she's withholding sex, but because she is a selfish, controlling, manipulative, hypocrite, who doesnt give a rats ass about what YOU want or need. Sex is a biological NEED, BTW. Please, for the love of God, open your eyes. Dont be another victim.

Stay strong brother, and good luck.

Here, read this post from Victory Unlimited http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=141760

It might make you see things a little clearer.

 

[CFERD]

Thanks for that accurate reply. Low quality woman, rock bottom sums it up. At least it didn't take too long to find out. In the blink of an eye they change, actually she didn't change, apparently she's always been crazy, she just hid it really well. A month was all she could pull off though. Now that I think about it, about three weeks in she says, " you need a wife'...uh yeah. I need to breath, eat and sleep. Everything else is an option. The dog sleeping in the bed was a habit started by a different ex a few years ago, I never gave it much thought. I can see how it may not be appealing to all woman. Just like I can see how wearing the skimpiest of clothes when I came over and enjoying having her gash licked makes me the guy just in it for sex. Stay with a nut case and have no sex, or opt to be single and have no sex for now but ultimately have sex with a different and hopefully sane girl. This must be the point people are always making about trying to be logical with women.Add the fact that she's completely full of sh*t, It's pointless having an argument with a crazy person. I'm half tempted to stick around just to hit it one more time. It'd be like playing with matches though. I know better, and the next time it could be the cops that are angry. Scary thought..Still, I wouldn't be surprised if after a few weeks if God doesn't tell her it's ok. I'm thinking the next poor bastard has no idea, then again neither did I.

 

[horaholic]

...And another grave lies empty.

Good job! Stick to your guns, and let them testicles out for while.

Now, you must go out and meet some women, so you dont, umm...'backslide.'

 

[Paintballguy]

Good for you. You need to run far far far away from that chick.

 

[Nutz]

DUMP HER......SHE IS USING SEX AS A WEAPON TO CONTROL AND MANIPULATE YOU. now you know how she will behave after marrying her. what she is doing at this moment is what we call a "power move". if you marry her, she will punish you for a month without sex every time you do something that she dont like.
also, the reason she had sex with you is because she wants you to marry her and for that reason she gave you a sample of her vagina and then took it away from you. its like the drug dealers do to the drug addicts in the hood. first, the drug dealers give them a piece of the drug for free to get them "hooked", but the next time the addicts want more of the drugs, they will have to pay for it. the way you will pay for that vagina is by marrying her.

I endorse this post. This is also know as an early frame announcement and is an indicator of what she's going to be like in the future. DTB or show her the door and work her back into your lineup on YOUR terms.

 

[Your_Royal_Flyness]

Wake up

First off, how is waiting better? Somehow I am not convinced that you actually WANT to wait. Sounds like you feel like you have to wait, so you're trying to convince yourself that you like it.

She is playing you for a punk, man...and you've let her. Mistake number one was going down on her, first. You were groveling and she made up that stuff about it being evil after she already "got hers." Ironically, it was "A-Okay" when you were eating her out, but it becomes a sin when you want to have sex with her? Again, she's playing you.

Yes, after a few times of "servicing her" it sounds like she gave in and started sexing you. However, you punked out again. If it's your place, why are you allowing her to call the shots in YOUR bed with YOUR dog? And when she apologized, you forgave her too quickly. Throughout your entire post, you did not show ANY SEMBLENCE of manhood. I do not say this to bash you, "CFERD"...but women are not attracted to weak-acting men. Women respond to strength, self-assuredness and boldness. Where did your balls go?

The reason why she pulled the "let's wait until marriage" line is because she's getting sex from one or more OTHER guys. Period. However, she is keeping you around so she can feel validated. You increase her self-esteem because you worship her and care about her. You give her what those guys she's fvcking are NOT giving her...unconditional tolerance, forgiveness and attention. In no time, she will grow tired of you and will leave you once she no longer feels the need to have you around.

Dude, I have been in situations that are similar when I was in high school...and since then I have "bagged", "shagged", and had MANY females--long term relationships to booty calls and everything in between. I do not say this to brag. I say this to tell you that I've seen this happen over and over again.


From here man, you really need a reality check and a wake up call. I assume you want some REAL advice and no fairy tales. Right? Well here you go.


This is what you need to do:
-Realize that you are a man and a man never tolerates disrespect (i.e. if she wanted that dog off your bed, you should say something like, "ok he will get off the bed IF you cook me something later."...(you can even say this playfully...however it will communicate to her that you are not a punk). In other words, make her work for it. Stop giving away freebies).
-Be honest with yourself and admit that you do not like second class treatment. (e.g. You going down on her for DAYS without her returning the favor. Any woman you do that to WILL ABSOLUTELY not respect you because this shows you do not respect yourself).
-Realize that women need sex just as much, if not more than us men do. When any women who you've been "sexin" regularly, suddenly gives an excuse not to do it anymore, that can ONLY mean that she's fvcking someone else regularly.
-LASTLY, realize that when you always agree with a woman and completely subordinate yourself to her, she will lose respect for you. Women on a subconscious level need a man who she respects, can learn from and a man to CHALLENGE her. You, in no way, present yourself as a challenge. It seems that she didn't respect you from very early on.

As much as it sucks to say this and be so blunt, you need to wake up and move on. If you'd like some further insight, PM me.

[/FONT]

 

[backbreaker]

Interesting that when she really lusted for your body, the mighty God all of the sudden was brushed aside for the temptation of the flesh.

Now all of the sudden God is important to her after she has been playing games with you and starting a stupid argument over a week ago?!

Bottom line: she is losing interest.

That is one thing I never understood about Christan

I was an atheist for years, but it wasn't because of lack of knowledge of the bible. I find it comical all the armchair Christans you see in church who don't know jack about the bible and god's word, pick and chose what they do and don't want to practice when it's convenient for them to do so, cherry picking out the bible.

I oblivious have a son out of wedlock, i'm not pro or anti sex before marriage per say, to each his own, but the difference I don't try to justify it with any bull**** like, it doesn't say it in the bible or, those laws are outdated, or something that will attempt to make me sleep at night. When i have premarital sex I know exactly what i am doing.

IF you a Christan god fearing person, as much as this forum doesn't want to hear it, you don't need to have sex before marriage. The bible clearly states, first Corinthians , versus 1 through 40ish that sex is to be saved for marriage. Many other places too but that's the main place in the bible that it's discussed. Clear as day.

So back to the OP... who hasn't had a laspe in judgement? I would never take a woman that says she wants to wait until she is married as losing intrest or being cynical. However, I would see if mjy values matched hers and if i was not willing to do that, wish her the best and move on.

God (if you are a Christian) does not give a damn about what is and is not practical, what is and is not hard, that has nothing to do with the word.

I bumped this, because this is something that is not really discussed, it's the elephant in the room. If you are a christian, this is something you really need to address. If you aren't you need to not waste a woman of deep religious faiths time or try to guilt her into doing something that she might regret. IF a woman is guilting you by using god as a reason to not have sex, i assure you she has bigger issues, than lack of interest.

 

[Rollo Tomassi]

Iron Rule of Tomassi #3

Any woman who makes you wait for sex, or by her actions implies she is making you wait for sex; the sex is NEVER worth the wait.

When a woman makes you wait for sex you are not her highest priority. Sexuality is spontaneous chemical reaction between two parties, not a process of negotiation. It's sex first, then relationship, not the other way around. A woman who wants to ƒuck you will find a way to ƒuck you. She will fly across the country, crawl under barbwire, climb in through your second story bedroom window, ƒuck the sh!t out of you and wait patiently inside your closet if your wife comes home early from work - women who want to ƒuck will find a way to ƒuck. The girl who tells you she wants a relationship first is the same girl who ƒucked the hot guy in the foam cannon party in Cancun on spring break half an hour after meeting him.

If a girl is that into you she'll ƒuck regardless of ASD or having her friends in the room videotaping it at a frat party. All women can be sluts, you just have to be the right guy to bring it out in them, and this happens before you go back to her place. If you have to plead your case cuddling and spooning on the bed or getting the occasional peck on the cheek, you need to go back to square one and start fresh.

Looks like you got the free introductory sample sex. Now it's time to negotiate the finance terms for the full purchase. Run. Far away from this girl. If she's disingenuously and conveniently negotiating the terms for her sexuality (under the false guise of religious conviction no less) BEFORE marriage, just think of the living hell you'll have to negotiate AFTER marriage. Fly like the ƒucking wind brother.

 

[handle]

This happened to me once. I did what I usually do: said "yes, I agree with you, we should wait, this is a terrible thing to do" and kept banging her over and over anyway. One time I discussed how it would be sinful to fvck any more while I was sucking on her tits.

Question is, will she keep fvcking or no? And if yes, will she go totally insane if you continue on?

 

[terran2k]

CFERD I hope you really do get rid of this girl and just not bluffing online. She will destroy your life if you stay with her.
I don't care if she'll fvck you or not anymore. you need to put some distance from this chic. End it and don't fvck her anymore even if she begs for it, she'll use sex to try to rake you back in. her pvssy isn't that valuable.

I also agree with Rollo.

 

[backbreaker]

Hell, I agree with rollo.

My whole point however is, that is soley my point of view. I know what the bible says about marriage and ohter things, and I knowingly do not accecpt it for various reasons that I have come to. I also make my living gambling basically, I'd be going to hell in a handbasket with gasoline underwear on.
But my whole point is, that, this is one thing, that I would take seriously. First, if you are a christan, there are not levels of chrsianity lol, you can't go Christianity-lite, you either are or you aren't. If you are, no nookie before marriage. Honestly, if I chose to, I am quite sure I can be quite the DJ without having sex. Not even that big a deal to me. might even be better off because that's something else a woman can't hold on my head.

If you aren't and run into this issue with a woman, do not automatically think she is putting you off. Religious people don't play these types of games with this type of subject dealing with god. If a woman, says to you she doesn't want ot wait until she is marired, don't try to shame her into it, either you are going to wait, or you need to leave. shaming does nothing but make you come off as selifhs which you would b

even if you did get her to do it, and she was serious about her commit to being the best christian she could be, I couldn't live with myself knowing I made a woman do that just to get my rocks off. that's just my moral compass.

it's one thing for a woman to be a prude for the seek of it. it's another thing when a woman feels it's morally and spiritually wrong to do so, even if she has, people make mistakes. that's not one I take lightly.

 

[loadit21]

yep shes playing you...shes seeing how much she can get away with lol...I would say to cut her off...she will probably run back to you...but dont mess with her...she sounds unstable

 

[Diaforetikos]

Why does a girl always have to be up to something? Maybe she is realizin what she's doing and doesn't wanna go in that direction.

She chose sex instead of following her religion, so now she has to stick to her choices one hundred percent?

You shoulda saw this coming. She had a belief that she usually followed, but she broke her own rule and had sex with you. Now you expect her to not go back on her own rule? Plus you think she's crazy because of this?! Negro, WHAT!?

She is a girl. Girls constantly change their minds on a subject all the time. And of course she's gonna say that you need a wife. She is a GIRL.

And just because she is putting her beliefs before you doesn't mean she's losing interest. Just like us men, she is trying to go for self improvement. Especially as a Christian. Real Christians seem to generally try to do the right thing. So she's taking whatever steps necessary to try to achieve that. So stop bring selfish for half a second and let her follow her beliefs.

If you can't handle her, then break up with her and find some other b!tch to s your d.

 

[backbreaker]

exactly.

let me use a non religious hypothetical situation.

let's say you m et a girl, and you go out for a date. this girl is ****ing banging. super cool the whole 9 yards.

to you to keep the frame in the way you want it to be, you generally, do not pay for their food on dates. but, you say **** i and make an exception.

however, later, you know you ****ed up. and next time the situation comes up you stand your ground, not paying.

now, let's take a step back and look at this. are you unstable for suggesting that she pay for her food? no more so than she is unstable for saying that she doesn't want to have sex before marriage.

just because she did it once, doesn't mean she is lying, just means she ****ed up. romans chapter 3 verse 23 says for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of god (nigga I wasn't playing when I told you my mom takes religion to a new level lol). Everyone screws up. Sh realized she screwed up, and decided she wasn't going to do it again. Hebrews chapter 10 verse 26 says that if we sin, AFTER we know the truth, or realize the truth that , there is no sacrifice for sin available. so it's actaually the opposite of what DJD had said.. the fact that she knows she ****ed up, and has confessed her sins to god, she is forgiven, as jesus said to the prostitute in saint john, she can't change what she did in the past, but she can change what she does in the future. if she were to take what she has now, and **** you in spite of being forgiven, that's tantamount to being unforgivable.

all this just to say, it's a pretty ****ing big deal to someone who is serious about their religion. it's not about you. in fact you are the least of her concerns in this situation, her point is to please god. Now, you are either down or you aren't. neither is a bad thing. the bible doesn't frown on inter religious relationships or what not, but if you are going to be with her, you have to respect whatever set of morals she may or may not have and like wise for you, no different than a woman isn't going to do hard drugs around me. Just not going to happen. I don't curse around my fiancee, she hates it. If you are going to date me, you aren't going to do hard drugs. some women, some men, that's just where they are.