We're not in Kansas anymore

[evansblue]

I think it's time you all take a deep look inside yourselves and come to the realization that you aren't good with women because you don't understand women and lack the social awareness that you need at being successful in this game. This is evident by all these nonsense text conversations that are posted, crazy field reports and failed interactions at the bars/clubs.

You guys in this community go so far overboard with this forced ****iness, and transparent persona women can spot it a mile away. Stop trying to PROVE to these girls that you're a "player", and start learning how to disguise it. This is the fundamental difference between guys that are good with women, and the ones that aren't. The true playboys don't call attention to themselves. Most women that were used by a player had no idea he was even a player to begin with. This is a game of subtlety, not one of "Look at me! I'm so ****y, I don't take sh!t from any girl. I'm such a bad ass, I'm not even going to hold a door open! I'm too cool for that!" Since when did players make it obvious they were playing?

Do you guys know why you do this? The real reason? It's because you reek of insecurity. You've been so bad with women for so long you close yourself off and think you need to act this way. You care so much what other people think of you that you feel forced to push the "jerk agenda". This isn't even your natural personality, it's a defense mechanism and a poorly crafted social veneer that's terribly incongruent and painfully obvious.

Night game for example. Every guy that goes out to the bars/clubs is looking for one thing: A piece of ass. There's just one small conflicting problem with this: Women are NOT. This is why almost every. single. guy. fails when it comes to grasping the concept that women are different. If women WERE looking for a one night stand, how come 99% of guys go home to their hands, or come here complaining how about they're not getting any? It's because they make the assumption that just because a girl is wearing tight fitting, revealing clothing, she must be a slvt. I was just as guilty of it as anybody else.

The weekend kicks into high gear, and that's when all the hordes of guys are out full force, sloppy a55 drunk, and think their "pickup" tactics are going to work on these girls. Women aren't stupid. Reread what I just said. They're NOT stupid. In fact, I would bet most of them are probably a lot smarter than the guys hitting on them. It was relatively effective when all these social networking sites and cellphones weren't around. I want you to think about this scenario for a minute, and the premise is one we can all agree on. A cute, attractive girl WILL update her Facebook status to tell what bars/clubs she's at. Most girls (hot ones) have easily 1,500+ friends. Not only do you have the added competition from all the other random drunk guys in the bar, now you have to compete with her male friends that will be trying to steal your thunder. Not to mention all the people she's texting as well. And you think she's going to leave with some random guy and look like a total slvt in front of her girl friends/male friends? Guess again. Most girls already have their entire night mapped out. You're just a mark for a free drink. It's time to come to grips with reality. Picking up girls in the bars/clubs is OUTDATED. Like the bowlcut. This is 2011, almost 2012. It's not 1999 anymore. It used to be a venue where a guy could walk up to a girl, flirt with her, and take her home. Those days are obsolete. The anonymity factor is gone. Technology isn't the only thing that advances. I really believe "Day Game" is slowly, but gradually taking over and it wouldn't surprise me if it went mainstream in the next couple of years.

The point of this post is make you step back for a minute, and realize that things are changing. Not necessarily for the worse, but they are changing. The "tough guy" attitude, the "night life scene". These things have run their course. Especially when you mix those two ingredients together. The question is how are you going to counter this and stay ahead of the game?

 

[Solomon]

*Grabs POPCORN, comes in for the show*

This is gonna be a good one

 

[Tiguere]

The way to counter this to get a passport and save your club money and invested in a 2week vacation in the Dominican Republic or any other tourist place. The the women will be competing for you instead.

Going foreign is the way to adapt.

 

[gaspipe]

The way to counter this to get a passport and save your club money and invested in a 2week vacation in the Dominican Republic or any other tourist place. The the women will be competing for you instead.

Going foreign is the way to adapt.

Sad, but true.

I dont even bother going to clubs or bars anymore to pickup women. Its become almost irrelevant these days unless your rich or possess some high status characteristics. Best venues for me at least are bookstores and coffee shops. Of course if you have the money and time going abroad where foreign women still know how to treat and appreciate a man is always a viable option.

 

[Borknagar]

I think it's time you all take a deep look inside yourselves and come to the realization that you aren't good with women because you don't understand women and lack the social awareness that you need at being successful in this game. This is evident by all these nonsense text conversations that are posted, crazy field reports and failed interactions at the bars/clubs.

You guys in this community go so far overboard with this forced ****iness, and transparent persona women can spot it a mile away. Stop trying to PROVE to these girls that you're a "player", and start learning how to disguise it. This is the fundamental difference between guys that are good with women, and the ones that aren't. The true playboys don't call attention to themselves. Most women that were used by a player had no idea he was even a player to begin with. This is a game of subtlety, not one of "Look at me! I'm so ****y, I don't take sh!t from any girl. I'm such a bad ass, I'm not even going to hold a door open! I'm too cool for that!" Since when did players make it obvious they were playing?

I think forced ****iness is ruining a lot of peoples game, I can be ****y at times, but theres a point where you need to be your true self. I tried to way ****y routines, I always went home alone, and everytime I did leave with a chick, it was me being myself, while yes under the influence if it was the bar/club thing , so a bit more "hyper" ,but myself nonetheless.

Do you guys know why you do this? The real reason? It's because you reek of insecurity. You've been so bad with women for so long you close yourself off and think you need to act this way. You care so much what other people think of you that you feel forced to push the "jerk agenda". This isn't even your natural personality, it's a defense mechanism and a poorly crafted social veneer that's terribly incongruent and painfully obvious.
I have been bad with women most of my life, but the deal is it's not really changing your personality(unless it truly stinks), but it's about being yourself, and being confident, sure you're going to have to flirt, but people in general can tell when you're really out of your comfort zone, especially chicks. People think being a jerk = confident, no, people bully(jerK) cause they're insecure themselves. Like when we were in school, and got bullied around by people who were insecure with themselves, same difference

Night game for example. Every guy that goes out to the bars/clubs is looking for one thing: A piece of ass. There's just one small conflicting problem with this: Women are NOT. This is why almost every. single. guy. fails when it comes to grasping the concept that women are different. If women WERE looking for a one night stand, how come 99% of guys go home to their hands, or come here complaining how about they're not getting any? It's because they make the assumption that just because a girl is wearing tight fitting, revealing clothing, she must be a slvt. I was just as guilty of it as anybody else.
Some women are, it all depends on the person. Some women aren't but they are unconsciously open to the idea. And some will never. And some will be stopped by their friends aka ****blockers, then some, like with me last weekend, will be encouraged by their friend(s)

The weekend kicks into high gear, and that's when all the hordes of guys are out full force, sloppy a55 drunk, and think their "pickup" tactics are going to work on these girls. Women aren't stupid. Reread what I just said. They're NOT stupid. In fact, I would bet most of them are probably a lot smarter than the guys hitting on them. It was relatively effective when all these social networking sites and cellphones weren't around. I want you to think about this scenario for a minute, and the premise is one we can all agree on. A cute, attractive girl WILL update her Facebook status to tell what bars/clubs she's at. Most girls (hot ones) have easily 1,500+ friends. Not only do you have the added competition from all the other random drunk guys in the bar, now you have to compete with her male friends that will be trying to steal your thunder. Not to mention all the people she's texting as well. And you think she's going to leave with some random guy and look like a total slvt in front of her girl friends/male friends? Guess again. Most girls already have their entire night mapped out. You're just a mark for a free drink. It's time to come to grips with reality. Picking up girls in the bars/clubs is OUTDATED. Like the bowlcut. This is 2011, almost 2012. It's not 1999 anymore. It used to be a venue where a guy could walk up to a girl, flirt with her, and take her home. Those days are obsolete. The anonymity factor is gone. Technology isn't the only thing that advances. I really believe "Day Game" is slowly, but gradually taking over and it wouldn't surprise me if it went mainstream in the next couple of years.

The point of this post is make you step back for a minute, and realize that things are changing. Not necessarily for the worse, but they are changing. The "tough guy" attitude, the "night life scene". These things have run their course. Especially when you mix those two ingredients together. The question is how are you going to counter this and stay ahead of the game?

I disagree that night game is dead, it can be how you approach it. A lot of guys just looking for some are obvious, while others are not. I've had just guessing, about 12 SNLs from bars and clubs in the last year, not counting first meets from pof, or day 2 lays. However I can agree most the pickup horse **** doesn't work perfectly, and might 25-30% of the time to a girl who would have went home with you anyway if you were your cool normal self.

I can agree with most of what ya said however. A lot of the stuff had got retarded, like Rob Judge said once "Most pick up techniques are there to impress other guys, not to really get the girl".

I rarely use "negs" occasionally use false time constraints, but it's rare, I use ****y funny a little, only cause that's my real personality. I don't make up stories. I own the mystery method only cause i got it a long time ago, maybe read a chapter.

 

[sstype]

Good post OP.....all this PUA/DJ stuff is dime-store psychobabble. No wonder there are so many BPD/crazy threads here......those are the only women that respond to this kind of B.S.

Night Game isn't dead.....there was no "game" to begin with. In a chaotic and unpredictable environment like a loud club or bar, its all chance and playing the numbers game. Trying hard to be ****y and funny or witty is not going to sway girls one way or the other.

It truly is ALL about subtlety. PUAs/DJs are like the Noveau Rich, constantly trying to prove to others they "made it to the big leagues" Just being your goddamn self, calm and confident, can set you apart from all the phonies, fakes, and showboats trying to get with her.

 

[Zodiac]

Troll thread?

The way to counter this to get a passport and save your club money and invested in a 2week vacation in the Dominican Republic or any other tourist place. The the women will be competing for you instead.

Going foreign is the way to adapt.

Exactly man. I posted a similar thing in another thread that the OP posted in and he personal attacked the crap out of me. This is gonna be a fun thread.

*Waits with Solomon with the popcorn.*

 

[Atom Smasher]

News flash:
Night game is dead. Day game is also dead. Social circle game is the only game left and that is terribly contrived and limited. Look around...the last thing women want is to be approached when they're out and about. Society has become so contrived and women so brainwashed by the media that they are retreating into fantasy and all avenues of socializing with women are drying up. We are living in very wierd times.

 

[Rubato]

News flash:
Night game is dead. Day game is also dead. Social circle game is the only game left and that is terribly contrived and limited. Look around...the last thing women want is to be approached when they're out and about. Society has become so contrived and women so brainwashed by the media that they are retreating into fantasy and all avenues of socializing with women are drying up. We are living in very wierd times.

There's a big part of me that wants to disagree with this.

I will be the first to admit I'm not a pinnacle DJ yet, but I have been having a lot of success both with my night and day game. I think a lot of this might depend on geography. I've learned the routines presented in The Game by Niel Strauss and the stuff Style posted on the public forums from the Pickup Artist TV show. I use those things all the time around where I live and they work.

And I think if I can be making progress at day and night game being a mediocre DJ, the great DJ's on this board should be getting some major success. I remember reading in The Game about how LA got saturated with the same PUA material and how Style lamented that his lines were all used up on the audience he had there. My response to that is that a good DJ needs to know how to adapt and calibrate what he's doing to a given situation. Most of you guys probably know what the jealous girlfriend opener is... there are a billion ways you can deliver that and make it new every time!

The last time I looked, women still went shopping at the mall and other stores, bought groceries, went to bookstores, coffee shops, and restaurants. They still go to bars and clubs at night, love to go dancing, and participate in social events. True, in today's times some of this socializing may require the industrious DJ to make friends with people who can give him a connection, but there are millions of options and opportunities out there for us every day!

I think women are freaking sick of lame ass guys walking up to her that are totally incongruent and trying to say a few lines like they're a magic spell that unzip her pants and insert his d$ck inside. They're sick of men who use bad attitudes, anger, hard feelings, and jackassary as a crutch for their personal insecurity (although, being a jackass is probably a much more effective approach). And they're really sick of wussy p$ssy nice guys who never had a MAN (not a dad, a MAN) in their life to teach them what it means to be masculine. And so they aren't.

And thus, women are skeptical whenever a man expresses any interest in her, passive or active. What if you were them? Think about it. If you were a woman and really didn't believe high quality men existed, or had horribly unrealistic expectations about the kind of man you ought to be looking for, how would you respond when a man approached you? You'd say "yea f$cking right."

DJ's are able to bypass the bullsh$t sensor God gave to women. All other males are just very good at making it go off.

 

[nismo-4]

Troll thread?



Exactly man. I posted a similar thing in another thread that the OP posted in and he personal attacked the crap out of me. This is gonna be a fun thread.

*Waits with Solomon with the popcorn.*

I've got some Orville Reddenbacher's Movie Theater Butter for this! Hey, I gotta grab some snacks out the courtroom!

Anyways, I'd go to Tahiti. Women there supposedly will compete for you. Night game is overpopulated by guys using PUA moves. Now women know this well. They ain't stupid. They know why you're talking to them.

Damn VH1 for making a TV show about this PUA sh*t. Women are easily making new-age rejections for these tactics.

Day game is no different and it's already mainstream.

Dating older women is more mainstream than that! It's 2011, and they think they're entitled to a rich and handsome athlete!

For a regular average joe, he doesn't see a lot of available women, and the women he tries to get won't give him the time of day or feign interest! But the NBA player and the rich guy sees a lot of available women and has no problem getting them!

Women generally think they're entitled to a guy who's all that, yet they drive a rusted ass car.

My point is this: This PUA **** did was give average Joes and guys who have trouble with women a free pass to bother women out of their league, and the constantly growing number of men who buy this sh*t and use it doesn't help. What did you guys think would happen when the PUA movement went mainstream? Yep, made millionaire "Gurus & PUAs" while the game got a lot harder for men, and stacked the deck higher for women even more. Most women generally think they're entitled to a guy who's all that, yet they drive a rusted ass Ford Contour. They love to snobb you if you don't have the goods at face value.

Case closed. Follow the yellow brick road.

 

[Rubato]

Women generally think they're entitled to a guy who's all that, yet they drive a rusted ass car. - agreed

This PUA **** did was give average Joes and guys who have trouble with women a free pass to bother women out of their league, and the constantly growing number of men who buy this sh*t and use it doesn't help. - why doesn't it help? I don't see this happening. What I see is a lot of guys reading this stuff and either playing a lifetime game of mental masturbation or applying it incorrectly. Do you really think the majority of guys who buy David Deangelo's or Mystery's book or read the DJ Bible are actually going to submit to the dramatic behavioral and lifestyle changes it requires in order for it to work?

Hell F$cking No!

What did you guys think would happen when the PUA movement went mainstream? Yep, made millionaire "Gurus & PUAs" while the game got a lot harder for men, and stacked the deck higher for women even more. - I agree that this has made several people rich. But like I said above, it's just like anything else. There are plenty of books and resources available to teach people how to play the piano and write great songs. They sell very well. And yet, how many people are really doing this? How many Paul McCartney's and Brian Wilson's are there out there? There are resources to teach become how to become excellent in any number of skills, magic, music, dancing, art, whatever they want. And they sell. People have possession of the knowledge. But they either never apply it, apply it partially, or apply it incorrectly.

See above

 

[Deadly_Ripped]

If you don't like the pickup game, I suggest finding another way i.e. friends of friends, academic environment, working for a big company, taking a job where you are the one meeting a ton of people (server, wait staff, customer relations etc). Hell, even your family might have friends or co-workers they could set you up with.

Social skills still get you friends and girlfriends.

Self esteem still makes you glow from the inside out.

Physical attractiveness still gets you looks.

Money still earns you more desirable.

Night or day these hold true, and anyone claiming that all pickup scenes are dead are either doing it wrong or not doing it at all.

 

[nismo-4]

See above

Rubato, What I was saying was that there is a constantly growing number of men buying PUA material. It doesn't make the game any easier for men. That's what I was saying.

Some sh*t might work for one person, but not the next. Most doesn't work for me. I use my own game. Mostly because I'm Black, and most women would chew you out for using that sh*t on them, or just feign interest.

 

[Rogue]

It's true that rookies tend to overcompensate and go overboard with being an asswhole; it's true women can smell incongruencies from a mile away; but it's not an indictment of learning game. Like Nutz once said a recent thread, it's better to overcompensate and then re-calibrate backwards to find the sweet spot in the groove than to try inching forward towards the middle. Incongruencies disappear with enough practice and internalization of game. Once congruent, once internalized, it's imperceptible. (And what is game, really, but having high value social skills? You become alpha, because game is status in itself.)

The conclusion of the original post is disjointed, non-sequitur, to the first half. If you wanted a thread about night game, fine, okay, but as Rollo Tomassi recently said, the overall principles of game work the same whether you're in a nightclub with party sluts or the wilderness mountains of Tennessee.

I would also question the failure of guys on here to get laid as resting on the assumption of sluts dressing like sluts. No, it's because most guys on here have weak game. Many women are receptive to the right guy who comes along, and these guys aren't the right guy.

And as for having to travel abroad to get some action, I once again refer to Rollo. Don't wish things were easier, wish you were better.

 

[Deadly_Ripped]

We never were in Kansas, but people love to pretend that there are greener pastures behind us and all hope is lost.

Buck up!

 

[Rollo Tomassi]

Think of the best musician you can think of now. I'm a guitarist myself so I'm going to throw out some old school shredder's names like EVH, George Lynch, Nuno Bettancourt, but you might think Jimmy Page or B.B. King, or maybe Andre Segovia really kick ass.

When you listen to a virtuoso - a guy so good he makes his talent seem effortless - you're not listening to just him, you're listening to all the musicians who influenced him, who inspired him, to become the musician he is now. You're essentially listening to (or at least variations of) the riffs, licks, arpeggios, melodic stylings, etc. of all the musicians that came before him to which, out of passion, he was inspired to commit to memory.

It's important to remember, when you hear a great guitarist that his ‘improvised’ guitar licks are still built upon a solid base of a series of learned patterns that harmonize within a given key of music.

A good musician practices his scales, and learns the runs of the guys who influenced him, note for note until they’re subconscious, then he can improvise with them. Likewise a good player caters his learned approaches to the tune of the woman and the environment.

Many critics of Game fail to understand what the 'A' stands for in PUA - "artist". If it seems like a forced script to you, that's because you haven't practiced it enough to become a fluent 'social artist'. Rote memorization of any subject is never conducive to actual internalized learning. All of the subroutines and "canned material" do in fact have a teaching purpose, but it will never seem 'real' for you until you understand that they are simply teaching tools to help a greater learning of an internalized Game.

This is why it's seemingly easy for critics outside the community sphere to ridicule Game; it all seems like laughable parlor tricks and 70's disco club pick up lines repackaged for the 21st century. All they see is the 'how to play guitar' book and the practice tablature intended to teach the skills needed to play the instrument. They don't (refuse to?) see the jump between the practice and the learning, to the internalized skill, that to everyone else seems like a natural, enviable, ability. Even the guitarists who never create an original piece of music, but play cover songs so well they can play professionally are still equated with have an effortless skill.

 

[joverby]

Rollo's got it. /Endofthread.

 

[Atom Smasher]

@Ruboto-

I see your points, and I think you're right, it does have to do with geography, and also age to a lesser degree.

I live a little north of NYC and it's COLD here. Icy cold. It is very noticable to me when I go a little West or South how the social climate changes.

My comments have a lot to do with the current phenomenon of most fat and unkempt chicks walking around thinking they deserve Brad Pitt. Even average, ho-hum girls have this sense of entitlement. It's grossly out of proportion to reality.

At any rate, your points are well taken.

 

[Mike32ct]

AtomSmasher is correct about regional differences. I'm in Connecticut, not too far away, and women (regardless of looks) are cold as ice. They are also VERY clique-y. If you're not a friend of a friend, good luck to you. Conversations between strangers are rare here.

 

[Stagger Lee]

The thing is unless we are talking about extremes-extreme nice guy or extreme @sshole game, what you say and your material makes little difference in attraction. But the PUA community puts most of the focus and credit on having the right lines and right tactics.

Attraction and game is really about how you appear and how you sound. Women are mostly subsconsciously screening for things like facial symmetry, expressiveness, outgoingness and extraversion, confident nonverbals and body language, sociability etc. These things are very hard if not impossible to fake. Only when you have these factors at the necessary level do the lines and tactics even make any real difference or can work.

What the PUA movement has done is give all these guys some lines and tactics and encouraged them to approach. The guys who already have the fundamental factors of attraction see good results just from being encouraged to take more action. But the bigger group who sought out PUA guidance because they were lacking in the factors needed see little change or even worse results.

The PUA community by encourage more guys to play the field really just made more competition for guys and benefited women as much as more than it did men. Women sit back and can offer crap and demand more and more of men because men are working harder to attract women and wishing they were better.

A lot of it is not so good advice that is not catered to the individual's real weak spots or strenghts. So many of the guys are out on a fool's errand and being made a fool of by it.