Were His actions Innocent?

stalluproar

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The reason you felt flight syndrome is because he has done just about everything wrong to bring it to the next level. Forcefully putting arm around and not being tactful when you tested him about he would never get sex and you wouldn't have sex with anyone demonstrates he is not a suitable lover. He needs to learn anticipation and how to take things to the next level. If you forcefully and logically have attraction for him, things will get miserable for you very quickly. Date someone else.
 

Latinoman

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Here is what's going on...so listen carefully.

The reason he was not interested at first is because he did not feel that much interest for you. Furthermore, he had others to keep him occupied and like you enough as a "friend". Nothing more and nothing less.

The reason he is trying to "seduce" you is because he is horny. He has no intentions to be with you...as in a relationship. Why is he doing this now?

Once again, he is horny. Perhaps, he is experiencing some level of drought (no luck getting some women). Or perhaps he wants an easy laid.

Note: To the person that believe we (men) should be pursue agressively toward a woman that says "no" and implied that "no" means "yes"...son, I will tell you one thing. You have a LOT to learn. This girl always wanted this guy. No every woman is the same. Lot of "good" men are in jail because they felt "no" was "yes". No worth the risk, IMO.
 

Latinoman

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Bvbidd said:
Ahaha lots of "good" men are in jail?

Latinoman are you a rapist? :whistle:
I personally believe that violent rapists should be given the death penalty. That's how I view the crime of rape.

To answer your question about "good"...what I'm saying that there are a number of kids (college and highschool) that have engaged in sex with either "drunk" or women that said "no"...those women ended up giving it up (without saying "yes") and the next morning have run to the authorities (after realizing that they made a mistake - e.g. changed their minds-) and accused the man of forcing sex.

It happens all the time. There have been instances in which the man has been released from jail YEARS later after the women confesed that the make a "mistake".
 

DreamyChick

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I am an idiot. i need a drink.
 
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DreamyChick

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stalluproar said:
The reason you felt flight syndrome is because he has done just about everything wrong to bring it to the next level. Forcefully putting arm around and not being tactful when you tested him about he would never get sex and you wouldn't have sex with anyone demonstrates he is not a suitable lover. He needs to learn anticipation and how to take things to the next level. If you forcefully and logically have attraction for him, things will get miserable for you very quickly. Date someone else.
You lost me.
 

Bvbidd

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That guy has no idea what he is talking about. That Stalluproar is a brainwashed disallusioned retard who sits at home and who reads this stuff way too much. He thinks you were testing him and who knows what else.

Just call up this guy you made the post about DreamyChick.
 

DreamyChick

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We saw each other on saturday I think I should wait longer. I am not even going to bring up what happened bc he may get in denial mode. He's done it before.
 

Bvbidd

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Nah don't bring up anything as if something happend.

Just let him know in whatever way, it's cool.
 

Latinoman

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DreamyChick said:
So...you want to get laid by him...and you are coming in here wasting our times with your questions?
 

spider_007

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interasting read......it gives us an insight to what is going on in a womans head as she is being seduced.....it would be even more usefull if she didn't already like the guy in the first place......but it's still a great insight.
 

DreamyChick

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He hasn't called yet. Why not? Why did he avoid talking about the girl I've seen him out with? Man I am mad at him for making me want him.
 

SamePendo

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Im starting to suspect you arent for real.
 

undesputable

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wow look at yourself...75 posts, probably half by you on this thread....this guy has gotten into your mind soo bad. Im going to tell you what hes doing...hes not calling because he wants you to come after him, kind of a power game, he also wants to keep his distance. meanwhile you have all this thoughts in your head about him making you want him even more...which from the looks of it, its working wonderfully. Second, he tells you about another girl but doesnt go into details, why? "a person will desire any object so long as he is convinced that it is desired by another person whom he admires". kinda goes along the lines of wanting what we cant have huh? hes just toying with your vanity and self esteem here, everyones primary weaknesses (watch the devils adbvocate). and lastly if i were you and wanted to turn the game around, i would put all the prude bull**** aside and go after him, mirror his desires, play with him...but do not give in so easily, he'll get pleasure from you if you play with him as well. give him the attention he wants, insinuate sex, then pull back. instead of you being full of himself, be full of yourself, independent from him all of the sudden, self sufficient. and lastly you too hint of another person in your life. turn the game around, it will be fun, youll give him a good chase and youll know how good of a seductor and how much into you he really is.
 

DreamyChick

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Thank you

undesputable said:
wow look at yourself...75 posts, probably half by you on this thread....this guy has gotten into your mind soo bad. Im going to tell you what hes doing...hes not calling because he wants you to come after him, kind of a power game, he also wants to keep his distance. meanwhile you have all this thoughts in your head about him making you want him even more...which from the looks of it, its working wonderfully. Second, he tells you about another girl but doesnt go into details, why? "a person will desire any object so long as he is convinced that it is desired by another person whom he admires". kinda goes along the lines of wanting what we cant have huh? hes just toying with your vanity and self esteem here, everyones primary weaknesses (watch the devils adbvocate). and lastly if i were you and wanted to turn the game around, i would put all the prude bull**** aside and go after him, mirror his desires, play with him...but do not give in so easily, he'll get pleasure from you if you play with him as well. give him the attention he wants, insinuate sex, then pull back. instead of you being full of himself, be full of yourself, independent from him all of the sudden, self sufficient. and lastly you too hint of another person in your life. turn the game around, it will be fun, youll give him a good chase and youll know how good of a seductor and how much into you he really is.

Now this is some really good advice. I am going to use it. :eek: He did repeatedly say that I needed to stop being a prude in general conversations and that I'd have to be willing to have sex in a romantic relationship *duh* But I just don't like that he stopped and started so much with his actions. But I held back bc I was scared to voice it and have things go back to normal. But at one point I was like you never listen to me and he was like tell me what you want and I will. See what drives me crazy is he wants me to voice everything. He cant just take the lead. He just wants me to say it.
 

TesuqueRed

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hey babe,

as pointed out above, he's not a total dj (you'd be asking, "should I sleep with him again?" if he was...)

he does have some instinct for it

half-@ssed instinct - he's still at the trial and error stage and made a number of basic blunders. i'd say overall he was too timid or didn't go far enough or follow through on the stuff that was working. he didn't completely blow it because he got you all wound up now (not hard to do, you have to admit...)

--none of it was innocent, but that is obvious.

he was looking for a "go for it" sign from you, which is a form of permission. fair enough - that's part of the seduction dance between two people - an exchange of signals, non-verbal cues, etc. you were ready to give it, too, he just didn't follow through as i said before and make it irresistible to you (i.e., you can't help but give a "go for it" signal...)

he got you wound up, which means he's still in the game



from what i can remember reading thru this - dunno - what did he do wrong?

you could say he set it up right but failed to convert you into booty call when he had you pretty close to that (he did too...you don't want to hear that.) he needed to convince you that you weren't being a slvt and follow thru with more sensual massage, wine maybe, a kiss... (let your imagination run on what he could've done and you'll be so horny next time you're alone with him he won't have to do anything!)

you could say he set it up wrong -- probably got you two back into contact and then begin to escalate things -- deep eye contact, kino, etc etc and get you wound back up where "am I being a slvt" thoughts are half defeated already. that would take days and weeks, involve some subtlety, nothing obvious (there were some stunning posts about 3-4 yrs ago on converting friends like this -- i have 'em buried somewhere...)

anyway, he kept talking about sex and put you in a defensive stance --

he was being too obvious

and, then again, he was being too coy -- he went half way, danced and pranced around it all and didn't move in and convert. he was looking for the "go for it" sign. he left plenty of opportunities for you to give it but mucked it up overall because he couldn't make it irresistable (the sex talk, not working you longer on the set up)

_________________
so - does he want you? obviously

does he want you in the way you need to be wanted? probably not.
you want it HEAVY and ROMANTIC. that will scare him off as it probably did before. he wants the sex and to keep his options open elsewhere (doesn't want to feel trapped, wants to keep options open to pursue other tail when it swishes by - it's a guy thing, right?)

going for the HEAVY and ROMANTIC and "do you REALLY care for me?" to the point where you need a certified and notarized statement from him that he's thinking "one and only" stuff when he looks at you before you'll kiss him let alone let him mount you (tha's crude, i know, but there it is) is -- ummm -- you said it before, innocent and inexperienced.

i suppose you have to go through something heavy like that and get it out of your system (a couple times maybe) before you lighten up, date around, sleep around (discretely, right? a girl has a rep to protect you know...) and get to know yourself and others.

i get from your posts here that sex just for sex's sake isn't something you can really consider now except as some disassociated intellectual exercise --- sure, you can imagine it, but not in a real, live 'let's do it now' situation.

i suppose this heavy romantic "you're the one" requirements is one way one-itis takes hold

i bet it has some to do with being an old fashioned southern girl in the heart of the bible belt (no daisy duke are you!)


anyway, final note - a more experienced woman would've shot him down with a glance or a tone of voice that said "proof time, buddy - either you're man enough to take what you want (me), or you're not and you need to get that weak shyt outta here..."

boys need to be slapped around like that some before they get it and learn what to do


I'd say do him, get your heart torn out, wreck a friendship, get a little bit of a rep and get it all past you and move on.

but you won't do that - you'll obsess over it, he'll do this maybe/maybe not dance, get you wound up, on and on (admit that too!)



..... site has changed a bit since i last stepped around. not bad
 
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