went to the bar alone for the first time

[Leon]

I have been reading some great messages on this board the last few days. I think there are some mature guys here, so decided to register and ask for advice.

My other single friend was busy tonight so I decided to go to the bar and grab a drink (never done that before on my own). As I was walking to the bar, I came across three asian girls on the street walking the opposite way, one of them was hot. We held eye contact, I smiled and then she said: "cute guy!" But I did not stop them. Then I came across them again and I said: "You guys follow me!" and she said: "Yes! The cute guy again!" They were with a guy this second time so I didn't stop them (you can tell I regret...)

Anyhow then I went into the bar and ordered a beer. I stood there a few feet from the bar, watching the tv and such, so that I could get the girls that came to order drinks near me. So these two cute girls come and start talking to each other right next to me, kind of behind me. Then one of them slightly pushes me. It was obvious, they wanted me to open them but I didn't (grrrr....). So I finished my beer and left.

Well it was an interesting experience and will sure repeat and improve. I have the attitude, body language, i am kind of tall. I tease girls but kind of lack practice in conversations and sometimes don't know what to say.

Comments/advice greatly appreciated

-Leon

 

[DonJoseCantosie]

Good stuff man! Its why they come to the bar....to get hit on and find a guy to pipe them for the night(depending on logistics). Next time, if your not sure what to say...have a few prescripted topics in your head and then ask her what she thinks about those topics and what not and talk for as long as you can with them. It takes some practice but once you do it...you'll be fine.

 

[Don Wha]

I've gone to bars alone just a couple of times. Some tips I would suggest are to:

1. Befriend the staff. Talk to them and get to know them if you are planning on going to the same bar regularly.

2. Talk to everyone around you. Guys, girls, it doesn't matter.

These first two will help you build social proof and improve your conversations with strangers. Which will give you confidence to open up sets of girls.

3. You've got to at least try. You cant just go alone and stare at the tv the whole time. These girls definitely seemed to have interest in you and were just waiting for you to make a move. This is a famous quote that floats around these boards "You miss 100 percent of the shots you never take." by Wayne Gretzky. Also know that rejection is better than regret.

I have the attitude, body language, i am kind of tall.

I'm sorry to say, but you do not have the attitude. The right attitude is confidence, which you were lacking. If you had confidence, you would have approached the first time when you there were just 3 girls. If you had confidence, you would have approached them the 2nd time when there were 3 girls and 1 guy. If you had confidence you would have opened up the set of 2 girls at the bar. Bottom line, if you had confidence, you would have made a move. Work on that, and everything else will fall into place.

Since you seem pretty new, I'd recommend reading the DJ bible and the book of pook.

Good luck next time and remember to try.

-Don Wha in the making

 

[The_last_Gunslinger]

Leon,

I used to be a bartender in various establishments over my life. I found it was my duty to initiate conversations at the bar between people, if I got a guy talking to a girl the guy was usually appreciative and tipped me good. In fact I made several friends that way who in turn invited me to parties and outings.

Hang out with the male bartender, they know the situation and if they’re good they will be like a built in wingman. Use the bartenders to bounce a conversation to the people next to you. Be positive in your conversations, you need to project an attitude of “out for some adventure”. Don’t make fun of other groups around you, brag or constantly be combative. It demonstrates insecurity.

Sports bars are a great place to join some guys at the bar without the gay vibe going off. That is if you’re a sports guy. Girls entering sports bars are not interested in sports, they have another thing in mind. Of course there are female Lakers fans or Cowboys fans, but they know it’s a perfect market for them.

When you have a spot at the bar when it’s not crowded and someone, anyone sits near you they most likely are open to socializing. This is the point of bars. If you keep the initial thought of non-sexual banter in your frame you’ll make friends easily at bars, thus demonstrating your social value. If a female or females sit near you they want the same thing, but it guarantees nothing. I watched a lot of guys open sets the same they initiated conversation with another guy. Once you get IOI from the female sets, that’s when you escalate and express a sexual nature.

Small pubs, lounges, sports bars seem to work best for me these days when flying solo. Maybe cause I’m older too. It’s tough to build a network with the wait staff if they are running around making silly colorful drinks in packed night clubs.

You seem to have something natural going for yourself and that’s awesome. Gather confidence from that and make friends, demonstrate your social value and sexually escalate the female encounters.

 

[PRMoon]

Going to bars alone is always a good chance to met girls. I've been approached by girls more times while at the bar alone then almost any other circumstances I can think of. The key is just to go and have a good time. I make it a point to get to know the bartenders at any bar I'm going to frequent. What else do they have to do besides entertain me? I usually get a good story and a free drink (or a relaxed bar tab) by the time I'm done. I've strayed from my point, when you're at the bar and you're having a good time, people will gravitate towards you. People go out to have a good time and humans are social beings by nature so it makes sense that people out having a good time tend to pair up with people doing the same. Just make sure you don't over do it and get too sloppy. That's when things go downhill. Moderate and enjoy

 

[Black Dog]

I have been reading some great messages on this board the last few days. I think there are some mature guys here, so decided to register and ask for advice.

My other single friend was busy tonight so I decided to go to the bar and grab a drink (never done that before on my own). As I was walking to the bar, I came across three asian girls on the street walking the opposite way, one of them was hot. We held eye contact, I smiled and then she said: "cute guy!" But I did not stop them. Then I came across them again and I said: "You guys follow me!" and she said: "Yes! The cute guy again!" They were with a guy this second time so I didn't stop them (you can tell I regret...)

Anyhow then I went into the bar and ordered a beer. I stood there a few feet from the bar, watching the tv and such, so that I could get the girls that came to order drinks near me. So these two cute girls come and start talking to each other right next to me, kind of behind me. Then one of them slightly pushes me. It was obvious, they wanted me to open them but I didn't (grrrr....). So I finished my beer and left.

WHAT THE ****

Well it was an interesting experience and will sure repeatNO YOU DONT WANT TO REPEAT THIS and improve. I have the attitude, body language, i am kind of tall. I tease girls but kind of lack practice in conversations and sometimes don't know what to say.

Comments/advice greatly appreciated

-Leon

Dude you got like 10 chances to open!!! I understand the first part. It's weird cause you had the confidence to smile at the hot biddies. May I ask if they were Filipinas? Those are usually the Asian girls that I'm attracted to right away, idk I guess they remind me of Latinas who usually I'm wet off of.not really lately but anyway


Yea dude you got about 5 chances. The girl EVEN positioned herself near you, talking loudly about stupid girl sh*t cuz she wanted you to talk to her. You even say that you KNEW she wanted you to open, yet you didn't. That's not good.

Sorry I'm not the best advice disher, but I really identified with your post. I used to struggle with the girlies giving me obvious signs, like seriously walking around with shirts that say TALK TO ME (well not really) but.....you got a lot of opporunities that you didn't take advantage of. The best thing to do I guess is not have that anxiety next time. All the smiling, proximity and loud talking were big signs.

Now whenever a girl is like near me--not to mention rubbing her body against mine---I'll talk to her....cmon man those are big signs..

 

[Leon]

DonJoseCantosie, Don Wha, The_last_Gunslinger, PRMoon, Black Dog:
Thanks guys for your comments, that's a lot of good advice.

I see all your points. I will use my oportunities from now on and let you know.

 

[S0LID]

Well done Leon, I'm proud of you mate!

I can tell you're the type of guy who will adapt to this situation. Awesome bro, just keep going, don't put too much pressure on your self, you're doing great!

 

[initiatorhater06]

story of my life

 

[Vanilla]

This might be a bit off topic, but since you're in the bay area, would you like to hang with me? I also fly solo to bars but it doesn't hurt having someone to help motivate.

 

[CarlitosWay]

Leon,

I used to be a bartender in various establishments over my life. I found it was my duty to initiate conversations at the bar between people, if I got a guy talking to a girl the guy was usually appreciative and tipped me good. In fact I made several friends that way who in turn invited me to parties and outings.

Hang out with the male bartender, they know the situation and if they’re good they will be like a built in wingman. Use the bartenders to bounce a conversation to the people next to you. Be positive in your conversations, you need to project an attitude of “out for some adventure”. Don’t make fun of other groups around you, brag or constantly be combative. It demonstrates insecurity.

Sports bars are a great place to join some guys at the bar without the gay vibe going off. That is if you’re a sports guy. Girls entering sports bars are not interested in sports, they have another thing in mind. Of course there are female Lakers fans or Cowboys fans, but they know it’s a perfect market for them.

When you have a spot at the bar when it’s not crowded and someone, anyone sits near you they most likely are open to socializing. This is the point of bars. If you keep the initial thought of non-sexual banter in your frame you’ll make friends easily at bars, thus demonstrating your social value. If a female or females sit near you they want the same thing, but it guarantees nothing. I watched a lot of guys open sets the same they initiated conversation with another guy. Once you get IOI from the female sets, that’s when you escalate and express a sexual nature.

Small pubs, lounges, sports bars seem to work best for me these days when flying solo. Maybe cause I’m older too. It’s tough to build a network with the wait staff if they are running around making silly colorful drinks in packed night clubs.

You seem to have something natural going for yourself and that’s awesome. Gather confidence from that and make friends, demonstrate your social value and sexually escalate the female encounters.

repped this is money! !$$$$:cheer:

 

[nivapimpru]

Man, I'm the same, need practice. But its easier for me, I'm in a different country and speak with an accent, they go for it. Dude, order Jack Daniels, have a few shots, and sarge.

 

[buzzit]

this sounds really interesting to try!
i will give it a shot

but then i will visit some places where i never been before..
that imo sounds more exciting than visit bars i come more often

 

[r0cky]

I like to stand by the bar and try to get girls to bump into me then say "are you drunk?" in a funny way. If they laugh or say some comment, then i transition.

 

[COD]

TWO THINGS WHEN SARGING ALONE........if u aint got mad skills........find an instant wingman or..........GOSH I hate to say it but it works.........PUMA (pickup magic attraction).

I am so not a fan of gimmicks..........but dude I cant believe how easy it was when I did a simple magic trick.........INSTANT ATTENTION........and INTEREST.......then it opens the door for rapport.

There is just a ton of ways to have fun with it........the trick I used was the light up thumbs........totally cool and instant interest.

Corny, gimmicky yes..........but it works.

 

[initiatorhater06]

I'm not a big social person since I went to 3 different high schools, also I've been unemployed throughout most of my life, I've only had 1 real job and I worked there for only 3 months, and I'm 22.