Yet sat and Sunday she was talking to me though. She goes on a lot of match dates to crapplebees. Probably found someone else. Cost me 43 bucks for nothing.
Since you don't meet many woman then that doesn't mean anything to you. If you had 10 dates then that would be $ 430? Guess you do fine not to meet too many woman if you are shelling like that. I have a "stupid budget" of $ 50 so $ 43 wouldn't matter to me because it's below the daily "stupid" budget. Cut yourself some slack and have a stupid budget too and allow yourself to make mistakes now and then.
In all my first dates either the lady paid for me, or if I paid, it was a cheap coffee date. The focus should be on the lady and if there is chemistry / potential, not pandering to a professional dater. You also broke an unspoken cardinal rule here. You don't spend money on a first date because the first meeting is not really a date, it is just a warm meeting with no strings attached for any subsequent meeting. Normally women LOSE attraction when they meet you IRL from online. You also stalked her online so if she's aware of that then you look too desperate as well. Why would she tell you that some hacker got to her online account unless you asked her about her being online?
First date rules:
1) Meet for coffee or make sure she pays
2) Make sure the meeting is not longer than 30 minutes and end the date at a high note, don't wait for her to get bored with you or end the date first.
Also, didn't I tell you that unless you have a SECOND DATE, you have NOTHING? Right now you have nothing until she SHOWS UP to a second date. Nobody on here can help you get SECOND dates. All people can do is help your profile to get more hits, at best, but it's a fact of life that there is a crazy numbers game involved in getting that second date and you have to knock her dead impress her to get that second to work out. You are not at the level so it's best to manage your expectations and learn how to get the first meeting right so you make an impression that sticks.