Well, where to begin....

[GuyInNeed09]

I have been long time reader of this site, It has made me see alot of things differently, maybe even for worse, but there has been no major success for me, so it tends to feel rather depressing. I am not even going to to go into any of it, but things haven't felt like they have gotten any better.

I mean, I keep reading about what has worked, what hasn't, and have a hard time putting together something that works. Even something like confidence, or approaching. Shyness or even trust issues is or has been a factor. It also doesn't help about hearing or seeing other guys who are successful, and you just feel empty or something else. Well hopefully, with the help on here, I can get through this.

 

[Dante420]

Just try going to the mall and approaching people.

 

[Five To One]

Are you still in high school? It sounds like you are.

You need to put this stuff to use, start out small, you dont need to even be trying to number close right now. Start small talk with people you see. People arent usually friendly and wont start conversations with random stranders but often are willing to converse if you stick your neck out first. One of my favorite places to talk to strangers is while waiting in line at the grocery store, i usually make a comment on what they are buying to start it off.

Learn to enjoy human interaction. You should love the adventure. Make it your job to learn human behaivor and understand body language, it makes it that much easier to communicate and relate to others.

It starts out small but with time you will see change in your life.

good luck

 

[I'm in the Mood]

You can't just read things and try them and expect them to magically work every single time. It's true that some of these ideas can be helpful, but most of the experiences people post on this site are strictly situational.

I suggest: you try things and find out what works to you, and use your "natural game" to guide you. This means express yourself through your personality, trust your gut instincts and do what you want to do and what you like to do.

I guarantee you will learn through experience, so go out and do some experiencing!

 

[GuyInNeed09]

No, actually I am not in school at all. I am at the age in which most people are graduating college, and moving onto the next phase. Graduate school, post college, etc. Things didn't plan out for me as I had hoped, so that has caused some personal conflict if you would.

I work a job in which I approach people every day. So you would think alot of this would come more naturally, but not quite. When I am out of the job, i.e comfort zone, I can feel mysef getting a little nervous, esp if it is a pretty girl I am talking too. Usually it's if I am checking out for something. I tend to feel to want to get through it. So that could be a number of things. I mean, I have read that anxiety is just repressed emotions, so it could be that, plus over the years, having found myself spending too much time at home, and not acquiring the same social experience(s), so as a result of that, I feel rather behind. But on a slightly positive note, I have made some new freinds recently, and things have gone rather well. Of course, it is through this girl I know, who I would hope to maybe be more than just freinds with at some point.

As for starting out small, better interactions, etc, this is where I feel one of my bigger trip ups has been. For one thing, when and if I am out, shopping, movies, whatever, I am usually in my own little world. I tend to not bother anyone, for either fear of rejection, or not wanting to seem like a creep. If someone was with me, I feel those feelings would be lessened. Not that I feel I constantly need someone by my side, but I find myself more alone as opposed to with someone.


I mean, maybe I just overthink or think too ahead, like I need to be at this level, I need to have reached this goal, or this accomplishment, stuff like that. I have always had a way of tending to look at things on the larger scale, such as where I would be in x amount of years, but, I haven't used that to plan such things out.

Like I said about anxiety, it could come from the fact that for the most part, I find myself not tending to like people, put off by there superficiality, materialism, and I guess differing world views if you would. As for success with women or lack of, that's been one of the bigger obstacles. That's another stress perhaps we can get into later. As for now, my main focus is changing my own mindset, beliefs, which I am not fully sure as to what I would say they are, and hopefully feeling better in due time. I have long felt depressed, and this has added to the problem(s). I am trying to get in contact with a therapist to discuss and sort out alot of these issues.

 

[Igetit!]

CapedCrusader,how many surnames do you have? Will you quit trying to fool people? We already know it's you dude. Look,you're not going to get banned again unless you go hog wild making 10 to 20 threads per day again. If you're going to be here,then be here. But stop trying to trick people man. I'd reconize your whining,complaining,"woe is me" writing anywhere.

Oh,by the way,this name is much better than that "SobchekSecurity" nonsense.

 

[Scars]

Read the newest SoSuave article. http://www.sosuave.com/articles/at/powerful.htm I was reading it today and I think it's exactly what you need. You need to be happy with yourself and who you are. Like the article says, not everybody can just turn overly confident over night, so a better and temporary regime is to improve your happiness. I will almost guarantee you will see an improvement. From there you can work on your confidence and inner game and finally moving onto seduction material. I think people on this site often overlook the innergame aspect of things. They come here and read an article about seduction, try it out step-by-step and then come back here wondering why they have failed? There's a lot more to it than just pick-up material, being a DJ is a lifestyle, a lifestyle that can only be achieved through strong innergame. I say take these next few weeks to improve yourself. Clothes, diet, attitude, hygiene, eliminating bad habits (that includes depressive thoughts), and trying to get rid of all the negative things you feel that are keeping you from growing. Improve yourself and happiness and confidence will come naturally, and with your new-found glowing confidence woman will also come naturally.

 

[GuyInNeed09]

Well, that has been the dillemma, making all these lifestyle changes. I never really thought before how much that stuff impacts you. As for inner game and feeling good, it can be a temporary feeling at times, only to quickly go away. I wonder if I could be bi-polar. I feel I am not happy with myself, cause I feel I haven't done anything, or have what I want, or feel like not having much to offer. It always seemed to me the "popular" people had all that. God, that sounds like high school....

I guess it comes down not having, or knowing, all that much about game,inner game, etc. But I have long felt I want something more, something deeper, than just one night stands. I mean, the way it is now, she sleeps with one guy one night,and another one the next, so on and so forth. Am I right? I mean, I just don't see myself wanting to be involved in something like that, or trying to steal girls, or having someone come and take away you're girl. I want something solid based in trust.

I guess I am, or have been, a little too caught up in this idea of, "must have/get this now!!!" , which maybe means I am shooting myself before I even start. This is all mental. But I am not this type of guy, but I do have my emotional problems:

http://revolution31.com/forum/showthread.php?t=784&page=3

 

[Scars]

That's the difference between this community and the other seduction communities. Being a DJ is about improving yourself and your lifestyle, the woman will come naturally when you radiate a happy confident and successful aura around you. Sure, seduction material comes into play but the basis of it all is innergame and it plays a tremendous role. Sometimes you will read PUA routines here, it does seep through sometimes, and it's not neccesarily a bad thing, a lot of people like you have decided to use this knowledge to find themselves long term relationships and even marriage. Others tend to use it for ONS, and stealing girlfriends etc.. don't think that's the way it has to be. A lot of guys here try to make it sound like all girls are sluts, and this is just simply not the case. Use the material here to sort through the unworthy girls until you find yourself a worthy one.

I used to think I was bi-polar too, it's debatable but I honestly think that is all a load of crap. It's simply just you looking for an excuse. That was the case for me. When I want to be happy, I can make myself happy, it's just a matter of CHOOSING to be happy. Sometimes we don't want to be happy, that is fine. We're human and sometimes we need to let out our emotions, there is nothing wrong with that. But to mourn over the pathetic quarrels of daily life is unhealthy, a lot of times these little quarrels can be fixed. You just need to address the problem and find a solution. It's a matter of WANTING it. You have to want to be happy, and you will. Avoid negative thoughts. If your problem is you have too much time to think then you need to preoccupy your mind or go out and do something. Feeling sad? Call up a good buddy, or go for a walk, draw a picture, write a story, watch a good movie, listen to a good album.. do SOMETHING to occupy yourself and your mind. I've not only quit smoking after a year and a half, I was also a heavy cocaine user as well, and I let it control a good 6 months of my life. It destroyed me, and I needed to get away from it, but I had to WANT to get away from it. And I did. This is just simply a bump in the road, there will be many, especially if you're on the road to becoming a DJ.

 

[NewAndImproved]

You're that rare brand of troll that is also a sociopath...

Same writing style, same bait, same everything.

sigh

 

[GuyInNeed09]

Hmm, well, that's been the dilemma, no happy,confident successful aura. Instead,anger, bitterness, criticism of and at the world if you would.

To me all, but in my own viewing and experience, all girls are sluts. They sleep around at an early age, only with the "top guys", and I feel on the bottom. So in that regard, at least I have realized if she isn't gonna give me what I want, why do anything for her? Well, what constitutes worthyness? Loyalty? Trust? Respect? What if I struggle with those qualities myself?

I find myself going from feeling happy,etc, to really down at various times. Mostly over due to inexperience, everyone else has more, more confident, etc. You know the deal. I have long adressed the problem, but no seemingly solution, this is where I feel a therapist would come in handy. I mean, I have found myself at various times doing those things to take my mind off of things, but that's all they did. There was no solution. It's a feeling of no control I guess.

Maybe I don't want to get away from this, or I just don't know how. Alcohol has been a problem at times as well. My problems are more emotional and mental than anything. A little social as well. I am also concerned about sexual issues, like as in these posts,
http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=158823&page=2, I mean, maybe I don't give off, or know how to, give off that vibe, it could be from depression, or not wanting to seem like a creep. Or it's the belief of love over sex. Something like this is a concern: "Just because our need for water, air etc outweighs our need for sex doesn't mean it's not a need.

There are very few men who are happy and celibate. I would say that sex is needed to have a mentally stable mind. Without it one would slip into depression unless they were able to reach enlightenment or something.

It's very easy to see that men who are environments where sex with women is not possible, find unconventional methods to let out their sexual frustrations. I bet virtually all prison rapes male x male sex would stop if inmates were allowed to have sex with women at least once a month.

So no, lack of sex won't kill you, but it will make you wish you were dead."

I mean, I never find myself even trying to get sex, or approach,etc. Number of reasons I guess. I also worry about how much porn has had an affect on me.
I am not a sociopath, I am someone looking to change his life, but end up with more questions than take action. So it is confusing for me. I won't post 50 million posts, I am not a troll. I mean, I am here talking about the problem(s), obsessing over it, on this and other forums, see the pattern and problem? Is that ocd or anxiety or something else altogether?

Also, what exactly is personality? How your respond? act? carry yourself? treat others? Also, I know this has been beaten to death, but how important are looks? It is something I am now really starting to wonder about.