Well, to the know it all woman hating masses in the MM's forum

[L B]

Oh nm. We talked things out and I brought her back in. I made a snap decision based on emotion and it ended up biting me in the ass.

So don't worry guys. Everything is okay!

Sh!t, I'm going to hear it now, aren't I? Just call me the MM's Gomer Pyle. Hahahaha

Maybe pictures will help...:yes:

This will not end well. You're in for more punishment :trouble: .

This is her :kick: .
This will be you .
This will be us (told ya so).

She looks for a white knight, you volunteer :wave: . She pummels drama your way :box: . You cry . She throws more punishments your way because you are so tolerant. You get exhausted. You come here and vent some more. We just laugh now because it gets to a point where it becomes comical .

whatever the case, let's just hope she's worth all the trouble you will have to go through to make all this work.

 

[Colossus]

Actually the joke's on you Thunder. Dont expect any sympathy from anybody at this point. We give you real, unbiased advice and you still go back to this histrionic basketcase. Your problem now.

 

[zekko]

There's a thread over on the general discussion board talking about how once you have a break up, the relationshiip is doomed basically. You're going to really break up sooner or later. Not everyone in that thread believes that, but I happen to. Even if there were an exception, I imagine it's very rare. So I think you're just prolonging the inevitable:

http://sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=179216

 

[Slickster]

Just as I'm about to enter a nice "Good for you Thunder! You made the right decision..." you get back with her??? REALLY??

Wrong move IMO and I think deep down you know it too.

I guess some people just choose to be unhappy....

Or maybe they're just too afraid to look for happiness on their own.

I would normally say good luck.

 

[Boilermaker]

It is easy to tell people what to do in their most vulnerable decisions from the convenience of your living room and current LTR...

If this is a brotherhood; sometimes it's good to shut up and respect the OP's decision.

This reduces the perceived negative feedback he gets to rationalize his
actions, the so-called "Us vs. the rest of the world" syndrome ...

This looks like an unlikely shot; but I think OP needs to figure it for himself...

 

[Jeffst1980]

This reduces the perceived negative feedback he gets to rationalize his
actions, the so-called "Us vs. the rest of the world" syndrome ...

This looks like an unlikely shot; but I think OP needs to figure it for himself...

This is true. It's akin to when someone feels their faith is attacked; the result? More justification for believing that faith. Another counterintuitive human truth.

However, I think it would be good to setup a "best of" forum for these kind of threads, just as a warning to those that ask our [free] advice, and then do the opposite.

 

[romangod]

Just as I'm about to enter a nice "Good for you Thunder! You made the right decision..." you get back with her??? REALLY??

Wrong move IMO and I think deep down you know it too.

I hope that deep down he really does know it. I'm beginning to wonder. This is pretty serious "chump" territory. The fact that their relationship is **** adds a whole different layer. The emperor has no clothes. She'll be playing him worse from here on in. As The Police sang, "Soon you'll find your servant is your master". He's wrapped around her finger. Still, I wish him luck. The spiral is just beginning.


Cheers!

 

[Slickster]

Thunder you've been around here a long time and I know you know better.

I know you can take the "negative feedback" too so I'm not about to pull any punches. That wouldn't be very "brotherly" of me now would it?

Somewhere down the road you are going to look back at this relationship. It's going to be right around the time you are entering a really good one.

You are going to be amazed at just how easy a good relationship is. You are going to look back at this particular woman and wonder why you ever wasted your time.

Breaking up and getting back together rarely works. Poker analogy: It's like folding your hand out of turn, and then betting when the action comes around to you. Everyone knows you are done, even you. You are trying to bluff yourself.

 

[jophil28]

Breaking up and getting back together rarely works. Poker analogy: It's like folding your hand out of turn, and then betting when the action comes around to you. Everyone knows you are done, even you. You are trying to bluff yourself.

An awesome parallel. On the money !

 

[backbreaker]

2 things

1. you have to be able to be single. Something tells me your wanting to "talk things out" was due to you suddingly being single, and not liking it at all, then rationalizing why it's okay to get back with her or she isn't that bad. in reality you were setting it up then when you kept saying she's not that bad just different

2. A guy in a lTR should not be spinning plates. Nor should he need to.

it's all a big circle of life. If you are kepeing her, and she is doing what you want her to do, and you have a normal relationship, throughout the time of the relationship you will meet women, from various places, who you know under different situtations, you could get at. they will make it known.

If my Girl and i broke up tomorrow, I am willing to bet 100 bucks i could take the girl at my gym out by Tuesday, not once have i ever hinted that i was interested in her.. extremely nice ass. Then the youngin who i meet in AA I still have her number somewhere around here, heck she still emails me. The girl who I told to screw off because she was becoming a side relationship, I could call her tomorrow and go out. That's 3 hold me over ****s right there, none of which I would consider plates or anything, just women who have showed enough interest, and that I could call and setup some dates just to get out the house so i'm not at home thinking about my ex.


The way I see it, if you are in a year relationship and your girl leaves you and you have absolutely no idea what to do about female companionship, no women have have looked twice at you, no women who have shown any type of itnerest in you the last year, you are the reason your girl left in the first place, not her. She doesn't w ant you, no other girl wants you either, I dont' blame her.

 

[ThunderMaverick]

Backy - I've been alone for almost 4 years. The concept of being alone doesn't scare me. It's less of a hassle and I don't have to think about the feelings of another. I don't have to take another person's opinion or life into consideration. I like being alone. I'm an introvert with strong extrovert tendencies. Before my last relationship (lasted almost 2 years) I was alone. I'm fine being by myself so being alone isn't a problem.

I see a lot of value in her despite her "flags" but I'm teaching her what works for me in the relationship. She's never had a boyfriend who was as high maintenance is I am. When I dumped her I wasn't physically in the best condition (pneumonia) and I had a falling out with my sister (she threatened to stab me and I had to stop talking to her) among other horrible things that were going on in my life. My girlfriend said something that I didn't like and I just dropped her right then and there. It was an emotional response and I lost control.

Oh, also don't get it twisted. As soon as I put "single" on my facebook a lot of new girls and girls from my past wanted to "talk to see if I were okay". It was like clockwork. Girls are just as orbity as guys sometimes. Getting laid isn't a problem either, of course.

 

[jophil28]

I see a lot of value in her despite her "flags" but I'm teaching her what works for me in the relationship. She's never had a boyfriend who was as high maintenance is I am..

Here -

"The person with the most severe pathology will always control the relationship ."

That is why nice sane guys get eaten alive and spat out by BPD women.

 

[iqqi]

Here -

"The person with the most severe pathology will always control the relationship ."

That is why nice sane guys get eaten alive and spat out by BPD women.

But is TM nice or sane? :crazy:

Or... a rare male BPD specimen? :nervous:

His similar choices in types of women, responses to situations, and reasoning makes one wonder!

 

[hithard]

2. A guy in a lTR should not be spinning plates. Nor should he need to.

it's all a big circle of life. If you are kepeing her, and she is doing what you want her to do, and you have a normal relationship, throughout the time of the relationship you will meet women, from various places, who you know under different situtations, you could get at. they will make it known.

If my Girl and i broke up tomorrow, I am willing to bet 100 bucks i could take the girl at my gym out by Tuesday, not once have i ever hinted that i was interested in her.. extremely nice ass. Then the youngin who i meet in AA I still have her number somewhere around here, heck she still emails me. The girl who I told to screw off because she was becoming a side relationship, I could call her tomorrow and go out. That's 3 hold me over ****s right there, none of which I would consider plates or anything, just women who have showed enough interest, and that I could call and setup some dates just to get out the house so i'm not at home thinking about my ex.


.

I agree with the above.
If more guys made an effort to stay in the loop even while in a LTR, they wouldn't have such a hard time getting over their ex. They don't need to be plates. You just have to spark enough interest to simmer in the back of their mind.

 

[wait_out]

But is TM nice or sane? :crazy:

Or... a rare male BPD specimen? :nervous:

His similar choices in types of women, responses to situations, and reasoning makes one wonder!

They are not that rare iqqi. Guys tend to end up dead or imprisoned rather than diagnosed though. I'm pretty sure most relationships that end in a murder-suicide are the result of a BPD male.

 

[hithard]

Hey TM you now have advice on staying or going, so I think you are covered. Now all we need is a thread titled: ' Does ThunderMav have BPD'

 

[Rollo Tomassi]

Iron Rule of Tomassi #7

It is always time and effort better spent developing new, fresh, prospective women than it will ever be in attempting to reconstruct a failed relationship. Never root through the trash once the garbage has been dragged to the curb. You get messy, your neighbors see you do it, and what you thought was worth digging for is never what you thought it was.

As an addendum I should add that this also applies to trying to figure out a woman's mental situation. It is always time and effort better spent in developing new prospects than it ever will be in attempts to psychoanalyze a woman back into an ill-conceived LTR.

 

[cordoncordon]

But is TM nice or sane? :crazy:

Or... a rare male BPD specimen? :nervous:

His similar choices in types of women, responses to situations, and reasoning makes one wonder!

He's BPD, not a doubt in my mind after this fiasco. You now have two BPD's dating each other.....end of the world coming?

 

[Kailex]

He's BPD, not a doubt in my mind after this fiasco. You now have two BPD's dating each other.....end of the world coming?

Basically all of the worst parts of the Bible.

 

[Nutz]

Translated : You guys were right. B1tches ain't sh1t.

LOL

Repped!