Well, that was fun!

[Desdinova]

Hey all, I don't write much about my personal life on here, but in the near future, I'll be on here much more regularly. After being out of the game for the last 8 years, the time has come for me to get back into it. I'm getting divorced.

I'm happy to say that we're both putting in the effort to make the split as easy and as peaceful as possible. The split is taking some time... a little more time than I would like it to. I'm so bloody anxious to get back out there and polish up my game, but I have to be patient for things to be more finalized before that happens. I also have a child which will make things a little bit more interesting.

As Tom Petty said, "The Future Is Wide Open". I want to revamp the entire house, have a big-ass party this year, and I need to get the rust off my game. Once the time is right, I'll likely put myself through the boot camp for a quick refresher - unless I discover I don't need it

And what about the ex? Don't worry about her. I'm not

 

[synergy1]

good to see both of you are taking efforts to make the separation as humane as possible. Best of luck on that and welcome back to the community!

what are your plans of action to get back into the game?

 

[sodbuster]

SHE SAYS she wants an amicable divorce. Doesn't mean you'll get it. Keep the check book balance LOW. Start cancelling Credit cards,have her get one of her own[you also]. Divide up the savings now[after paying off and cancelling cards. YOUR version of equal may not be HERS. As we always say,it's not what she says-it's what she does.

 

[jonwon]

Hey all, I don't write much about my personal life on here, but in the near future, I'll be on here much more regularly. After being out of the game for the last 8 years, the time has come for me to get back into it. I'm getting divorced.

I'm happy to say that we're both putting in the effort to make the split as easy and as peaceful as possible. The split is taking some time... a little more time than I would like it to. I'm so bloody anxious to get back out there and polish up my game, but I have to be patient for things to be more finalized before that happens. I also have a child which will make things a little bit more interesting.

As Tom Petty said, "The Future Is Wide Open". I want to revamp the entire house, have a big-ass party this year, and I need to get the rust off my game. Once the time is right, I'll likely put myself through the boot camp for a quick refresher - unless I discover I don't need it

And what about the ex? Don't worry about her. I'm not

Wow.

But then again the odds where stacked against you!

I always think no matter how good you are or your game, marriage is nothing but a time delay system this day and age anyway. It's not a reflection on the man, if anything its a reflection on the institution of marriage.

 

[grinder]

Congratulations.

Freedom, peace, liberty, self actualization, and self determination are often compromised “for the good of the relationship”.

These inalienable rights are not appreciated until they are taken away. Ah, perhaps there is some good in marriage after all! Ha ha

 

[Desdinova]

Keep the check book balance LOW. Start cancelling Credit cards,have her get one of her own[you also]. Divide up the savings now[after paying off and cancelling cards.

We have seperate accounts and she doesn't have a credit card nor a copy of mine. She doesn't know my pin numbers. She can't just go in and take what she wants.

what are your plans of action to get back into the game?

My biggest priority right now is to deal with this situation at hand. If a plaything comes along before she moves out, I'm cool with that. However, I cannot start bringing women over to the house just yet, which is unfortunate because she's already brought HER plaything over to the house. I requested for her not to do this while I'm home, and so far she's co-operated.

As for my game itself, the areas that I need the most work on are my approaches, then my number closes. Everything else just needs a bit of polishing up. I also need to do some work on my house to make it more appealing. My main area of concern is the bedroom. A good bed, some nice sheets, and a fresh coat of paint are at the top of my list for beginning my new life.

 

[jonwon]

My biggest priority right now is to deal with this situation at hand. If a plaything comes along before she moves out, I'm cool with that. However, I cannot start bringing women over to the house just yet, which is unfortunate because she's already brought HER plaything over to the house. I requested for her not to do this while I'm home, and so far she's co-operated.

Women when the chips fall can be the biggest cun*s on planet earth.

I believe she did this for a purpose but you probably know that already.

 

[speed dawg]

If you don't mind me asking, what triggered this divorce? I'm sure alot could be learned from it, especially when the the poster is not in an irrational state of mind like most are when posting about a break up.

 

[spider_007]

This is what I don't get:

For me a "Ladies Man" means that your a man that can take most women and make them be happy around you, make them feel special, make them feel loved, wanted, aroused, ecstatic to be around you, and willing to do your bidding for you. Willing to be your queen, your partner in crime, your soul mate and your slave (to a point). This is the magical power of Don Juan.

For someone who not only knows the game, but is a leader in the game (moderator of a huge forum) to be divorced, to me mean one of two things:
1) You got sick of being married to her and wanted a change even though she worships the ground you walk on........or
2) You failed in the game, and failed to make her feel things she needed to feel in the relationship - so she dumped your ass.

If it's the second....I’m concerned

 

[Nutz]

SHE SAYS she wants an amicable divorce. Doesn't mean you'll get it. Keep the check book balance LOW. Start cancelling Credit cards,have her get one of her own[you also]. Divide up the savings now[after paying off and cancelling cards. YOUR version of equal may not be HERS. As we always say,it's not what she says-it's what she does.

That bears repeating. HER VERSION OF EQUAL & FAIR MAY NOT BE THE SAME AS WHAT YOU HAVE IN MIND. Been there, done that.

 

[jophil28]

However, I cannot start bringing women over to the house just yet, which is unfortunate because she's already brought HER plaything over to the house. I requested for her not to do this while I'm home, and so far she's co-operated.

A classic example of the difference between men and women's sense of 'decent' behavior - of what is acceptable and what is not OK.

I bet that she would have gone volcanic if you had brought a playmate home first.

 

[Nutz]

A classic example of the difference between men and women's sense of 'decent' behavior - of what is acceptable and what is not OK.

I bet that she would have gone volcanic if you had brought a playmate home first.

Agreed. In fact when the ex found out I was seeing some girls she freaked and even admitted that that hurt the most because she though she'd be the first to find someone new. That head game, that you're living well without them, it hits them where it counts most... their ego.

 

[Colossus]

Sorry to hear that Des...I had no idea you were married. Look forward to seeing more of your posts around here.

This is what I don't get:

For me a "Ladies Man" means that your a man that can take most women and make them be happy around you, make them feel special, make them feel loved, wanted, aroused, ecstatic to be around you, and willing to do your bidding for you. Willing to be your queen, your partner in crime, your soul mate and your slave (to a point). This is the magical power of Don Juan.

For someone who not only knows the game, but is a leader in the game (moderator of a huge forum) to be divorced, to me mean one of two things:
1) You got sick of being married to her and wanted a change even though she worships the ground you walk on........or
2) You failed in the game, and failed to make her feel things she needed to feel in the relationship - so she dumped your ass.

If it's the second....I’m concerned

Wow you're right dude, those are the only two possible explanations for this. :crazy: Knock off the assumptions, you know nothing about him or his soon-to-be ex wife.

 

[speed dawg]

Wow you're right dude, those are the only two possible explanations for this. :crazy: Knock off the assumptions, you know nothing about him or his soon-to-be ex wife.

Well isn't that what we do on SS? As soon as somebody brings this type of post to the board, he's hit with a tidal wave of wannabe DJs giving their share of tough love. But either way, that's why I asked the question earlier....lots could be learned/discussed from this.

 

[5string]

That bears repeating. HER VERSION OF EQUAL & FAIR MAY NOT BE THE SAME AS WHAT YOU HAVE IN MIND. Been there, done that.

Agree with Nutz. When I kicked out my wife and divorced her after 25 yrs, by law, she was entitled to 1/2 of everything. Keep in mind I had done very well over the years so she got quite a bit. It hurt, because I earned so much more than she did. Then she sends me an email after we had split the assets and divorced, stating she thought she should only have to pay 1/4-1/3 of the taxes we owed for that year because my salary had been so much greater. I emailed her back and said "ok, just so long as we can apply this same formula to our former combined community property and recalculate". That shut her up, and she paid her half of the taxes. Lesson learned. And to the moderator, I'm sorry she chose to bring the guy home. Disrespectful, no matter the circumstances. Salt in a wound no doubt. Wish you great things in your new life.

 

[Desdinova]

For someone who not only knows the game, but is a leader in the game (moderator of a huge forum) to be divorced, to me mean one of two things:
1) You got sick of being married to her and wanted a change even though she worships the ground you walk on........or
2) You failed in the game, and failed to make her feel things she needed to feel in the relationship - so she dumped your ass.

If you REALLY want to know, here's what happened...

She quit being a good mate, got lazy, and decided that her social life was more important than her home life. She started playing games to get me to stroke her ego while she was out with her friends 24/7. She wanted love and attention from me while she would go out and fulfill her own selfish needs. I wouldn't play into it, and we became more distant as time went on.

Although I found out she was seeing someone else, I didn't let on. If I were going to end the marriage, I decided that I should wait for my emotions to cool down before I did anything, and I'm glad I went this route. After a couple of weeks, I let her know that I was done with it all.

The split was inevitable, and she claims she still loves me. But when it comes to women, actions speak louder than words.

 

[spider_007]

Wow you're right dude, those are the only two possible explanations for this. :crazy: Knock off the assumptions, you know nothing about him or his soon-to-be ex wife.

One thing i do know, somebody’s needs ware not being met (hers, his, or both). Our needs are the reason why all relationships start.....and when they stop being met or new needs become more important, why those relationships end.

You and I think on a Different wave band, it's ok.

Well isn't that what we do on SS? As soon as somebody brings this type of post to the board, he's hit with a tidal wave of wannabe DJs giving their share of tough love. But either way, that's why I asked the question earlier....lots could be learned/discussed from this.

I wasn't trying to sh!t on the guy, my bad if it loked that way.

 

[squirrels]

Although I found out she was seeing someone else, I didn't let on.

"Nah, man...she's just over her friend's house playing X-box. She's not cheating on me. She wouldn't do that."

If I were going to end the marriage, I decided that I should wait for my emotions to cool down before I did anything, and I'm glad I went this route. After a couple of weeks, I let her know that I was done with it all.

You've been very smart about your "exit strategy" for this whole thing, and that's admirable.

You think everything is going to go OK with custody as you had foreseen? If you can avoid that "gotcha" and she is OK with letting you have custody, then you've pretty much had the ideal break.

Somehow, I don't see her making it that easy, though. Sure she was a "ghost" when she had you taking care of the child, but I wouldn't be surprised if that motherly instinct kicks in all of a sudden and gives you trouble with custody in court. And we know who the court favors in custody matters, regardless of the situation. :nervous: I wish you luck, though.

As far as "new women" are concerned, I don't think you'll have a problem getting THAT going again.

 

[In$tinct]

And we know who the court favors in custody matters, regardless of the situation. :nervous: I wish you luck, though.

That is becoming more and more of an invalid statement daily. It seems that the courts are finally starting to put the best interest of the children before any gender preferences. Which is way over due.

 

[speed dawg]

If you REALLY want to know, here's what happened...

She quit being a good mate, got lazy, and decided that her social life was more important than her home life. She started playing games to get me to stroke her ego while she was out with her friends 24/7. She wanted love and attention from me while she would go out and fulfill her own selfish needs. I wouldn't play into it, and we became more distant as time went on.

Although I found out she was seeing someone else, I didn't let on. If I were going to end the marriage, I decided that I should wait for my emotions to cool down before I did anything, and I'm glad I went this route. After a couple of weeks, I let her know that I was done with it all.

The split was inevitable, and she claims she still loves me. But when it comes to women, actions speak louder than words.

I know a guy with that exact same story. I posted about it a few months back when he caught her in the act. They stayed together and have a terrible marriage right now. They do nothing together, the wife has not learned her lesson at all. And still, I'm the only one who sees things clearly.

My question is, how does it come to this? The guy was an alpha type. He never got jealous, it seemed to me anyway. Are some women just the "diva" type? Ie they just have to have that "feeling" all the time?