Well I officially know the worst feeling (emotionally) in the world...

[HardTimes]

Just got back from seeing my ex girlfriend with another guy. She broke up with me a few weeks ago with the "its not you its me" bs and I really liked this girl. She (claimed) she just needed to get some things straight with her life and blah blah. I really liked this girl and it really broke my heart that she all of a sudden broke up with me... i thought it was the worst feeling in the world until....


...today I see her in her driveway all dressed up kissing another guy. I was leaving my best friends house and she lives next door and I saw this as I was leaving his house. We made a short eye contact and I just hopped in my car and bounced.

Wow let me tell you, I felt like complete ass when I left and still do. I don't think I've ever been this heart broken in my life. For some stupid reason I actually believed that she really needed to get her life together and maybe thats she missed me (she still contacted me for a little bit after she broke up with me), had no clue that in reality she just found another guy

God you guys don't know, this REALLY hurt. It's like all my lifes dreams and ambitions kinda just got flushed down the toliet in an instant. Yes I liked her that much.

Well guys, I'm completely done. Yes, done. I'm not leaving my apartment anymore expect to go to work and back. Other than that I'm going to completely hermit up. I don't really want to see friends and family anymore or be around any people in general. I don't really have any desires for anything anymore other than to just exist. I'm not even sure how long that desire will even be there.

Worst feeling in the world.

 

[Zaraza]

WOAH! Hardtimes, come on man, dont live up to your name in that sense.

You came to this website to learn, understand, prosper, and evaluate your own life. Unfortunately, when we start living differently is when we are broken down completely. I am no guru, but i feel as if many guys on this site can relate to you or some form of your emotions. We all have been there, feeling like ****. But life isn't so one sided. Yes there are many fish in the sea, but thats not what im here to say. I'm here to say that there is a better approach to your situation. We can both agree, it hurts, We can both agree, your alive. And ending your life over a girl, we can both agree seems a little too out of this world. What your ex did is, find another emotional outlet. I dont wish her bad luck, but most likely the new dude is just an emotional tampon or guy who will get is heart broken and come crying here. This is where you take a differnt path. Everything you listed that you are going to quit doing, you should look at the opposite.
o
Your friends and family, are here for you because of times like these. Your own will and desire to grow is present and this is your chance to find new happiness.

Go out, Talk to family, go to work talk to everyone, begin a hobby, excercise, start slow and let it pick up.

There is nothing worse than to quit when you don't know your odds.

You will be giving her a satisfaction, she will feel great about herself if she knows you are falling apart. She will feel important. Shes not important right now, you are. Your life.

Get your ass together. We are here to learn by failing.

 

[HardTimes]

WOAH! Hardtimes, come on man, dont live up to your name in that sense.

You came to this website to learn, understand, prosper, and evaluate your own life. Unfortunately, when we start living differently is when we are broken down completely. I am no guru, but i feel as if many guys on this site can relate to you or some form of your emotions. We all have been there, feeling like ****. But life isn't so one sided. Yes there are many fish in the sea, but thats not what im here to say. I'm here to say that there is a better approach to your situation. We can both agree, it hurts, We can both agree, your alive. And ending your life over a girl, we can both agree seems a little too out of this world. What your ex did is, find another emotional outlet. I dont wish her bad luck, but most likely the new dude is just an emotional tampon or guy who will get is heart broken and come crying here. This is where you take a differnt path. Everything you listed that you are going to quit doing, you should look at the opposite.
o
Your friends and family, are here for you because of times like these. Your own will and desire to grow is present and this is your chance to find new happiness.

Go out, Talk to family, go to work talk to everyone, begin a hobby, excercise, start slow and let it pick up.

There is nothing worse than to quit when you don't know your odds.

You will be giving her a satisfaction, she will feel great about herself if she knows you are falling apart. She will feel important. Shes not important right now, you are. Your life.

Get your ass together. We are here to learn by failing.

Not quite at the point of ending my life (yet). As for talking to friends/family/hobbys/whatever, all of those desires pretty much fell off a cliff after tonight. Her breaking up with me was hard but I still had desires and ambitions, but all of that has just left me tonight. I really have absolutely no desire but to do bare minimum (go to work and come home). I don't really care about giving her satisfaction because it doesnt matter at this point, shes already won and she knows it. It's not even an issue of her being important, she obviously feels im not important enough to be a part of her life.

 

[btownbuck2012]

Hang in there man....

 

[Zaraza]

Not quite at the point of ending my life (yet). As for talking to friends/family/hobbys/whatever, all of those desires pretty much fell off a cliff after tonight. Her breaking up with me was hard but I still had desires and ambitions, but all of that has just left me tonight. I really have absolutely no desire but to do bare minimum (go to work and come home). I don't really care about giving her satisfaction because it doesnt matter at this point, shes already won and she knows it. It's not even an issue of her being important, she obviously feels im not important enough to be a part of her life.

Who said it was a game? that you both have to be playing?

This isnt about her, its about you. It takes time to heal.

how old are you?

 

[HardTimes]

Who said it was a game? that you both have to be playing?

This isnt about her, its about you. It takes time to heal.

how old are you?

I agree its not a game and I'm not playing. But the truth is she came out better in the situation than me obviously. I still had feelings for her and shes banging some guy right now and I'm sitting at home thinking my life is over as I know it. Objectively I'd say shes better off.

 

[Zaraza]

you forgot one thing.

The long run.

she came out strong in the short run, you came out strong in the long run. The difference is, it will take you a lil time and you will enjoy life forever.

 

[HardTimes]

you forgot one thing.

The long run.

she came out strong in the short run, you came out strong in the long run. The difference is, it will take you a lil time and you will enjoy life forever.

I disagree. The long run hasn't happened yet so theres no reaon to say I will come out strong in the long run when I obviously won't. I know you probably won't buy this but I'm pretty sure after tonight I'm damaged for life.

 

[DonGorgon]

never ever like or love a woman more than she loves you.... as soon as you do that she looses all respect for you and sees you as weak... She willl cheat anyway cause it human nature, so remember that 95% of the time there is some other dude working his way into her PU$$Y. It the way of nature.

The reality is that if you are young an in the fertile mating stage of the human life cycle them monogamy is damn near impossible especially for women who are constantly being wooed and begged to mate by dozens of desperate male per week... So the most you can expect from a relationship at this time is maybe more sex than she gives to other men, a baby or a disease or two...

Yes you will fall in love but you must learn to control it so that you dont sustain catastrophic emotional damage that can lead to depression and other mental issues... women are better equipped for dealing with emotional tragedies so always dump your girl first when she least expects it...

 

[HardTimes]

never ever like or love a woman more than she loves you.... as soon as you do that she looses all respect for you and sees you as weak... She willl cheat anyway cause it human nature, so remember that 95% of the time there is some other dude working his way into her PU$$Y. It the way of nature.

If thats truely the state of women I was always destin for failure then. I'm not into being a player so if I date a woman I'm interested in being serious and not the mind games about making sure I don't like her more than she likes me...

Yes you will fall in love but you must learn to control it so that you dont sustain catastrophic emotional damage that can lead to depression and other mental issues... women are better equipped for dealing with emotional tragedies so always dump your girl first when she least expects it...

Too late for that.

 

[Aragon034]

That defeatist mentality is the first thing you need to break.

Yes it hurts like ****ing hell when that happens, hell even years later something'll happen that'll hurt you.

Man up, pull your balls out and move on. Because unless you start working on yourself and forget about her, yeah, she is better off than you.

And dude, she lives NEXT DOOR? Jebus!

 

[HardTimes]

That defeatist mentality is the first thing you need to break.

Yes it hurts like ****ing hell when that happens, hell even years later something'll happen that'll hurt you.

Man up, pull your balls out and move on. Because unless you start working on yourself and forget about her, yeah, she is better off than you.

And dude, she lives NEXT DOOR? Jebus!

Problem is, after tonight, I have no desire to do any of that. I don't have any desire to try to move on.

She doesn't live next door to me, she lives next door to my best friend.

 

[Samedi]

So you have no desire? Tell me, what do you think of when you sit at home and allow your thoughts to wonder? Do you get angry or jealous? Does the thought of her being with another guy make your blood boil?

 

[Jerky Boi]

Problem is, after tonight, I have no desire to do any of that. I don't have any desire to try to move on.

She doesn't live next door to me, she lives next door to my best friend.

Ouch, that's not going to make things easy.

Well, I can tell you this man; I've been there and I know exactly how you feel. Anybody on here can easily tell you to man up and move on, but it's not that easy, right?

And her living next to your best friend is obviously going to stir up some problems. You'll feel yourself asking him how she is doing, who he sees her with, etc..But you can't!

Trusting someone and believing their word is not a sin sir. From what you said, it seems as though she lied to you. It hurts..oh do I know that is hurts, but you can't give up. Go out with your friends, and meet new people! You'll be surprised how much you can forget about your ex when you're out having a few drinks with some buddies. I think it was Dave Copeland who said, "Make life work for you." Keep your head up man. Avoid contact with her for a while but don't let her know that you are suffering because she isn't your girl anymore.

 

[Aragon034]

Alright, maybe i'm a little bitter on the subject as i went through the same thing a few years ago.

To be more objective than just "Man up". Start thinking about things in a larger sense.

This is not the end of the world. She is one girl in a population of 6 billion.

It's hard to get up after having something like this happen, and the only thing that will help is time and new experiences.

If you don't want to be a "player" then forget about girls and focus on yourself. Forget falling in love, forget finding women to bang, and focus entirely on YOUR dreams and YOUR ambitions. As you divert all your energy to this, you will feel happier since you will feel you are accomplishing something. Work out, let your creative juices flow and paint something, whatever it is you like to do.

With time, and social interactions, you will find other women, and if you remain objective than you will be able to choose which you want, and the quality of them.

DonGorgon, i politely disagree with your dire assessment of women, I do think a majority of them are like that, but there are women out there for exclusivity, and not just uggofatties.

That's the best advice i can give you hardtimes. It got me through, and i think it could help you as well.

 

[gordiepoopy]

GFTOG

and then.. you should realize that her "need to get her life together" is a response to your actions. So, that means you need to get your life together... figure it out.... get into pick up + self help... get your life back together....

think about it... if SHE leaves YOU and YOU break down like this... WHAT DOES THAT SAY ABOUT YOU!!??!!!!?!??!?!

You need a stronger inner game!!!

 

[WhoAmI?]

I'm not reading every post so this might have been said already but w/e...Dude I was in the same boat as you 3 months ago. She left after 5 years I felt like **** didn't talk to anyone just chilled at home for like a month. Of course the whole time texting/talking to her thinking we could work on things.

It hurts now and ya it feels like someone just ripped your heart out and spit on it, but trust me IT WILL go away. TBH the best thing I did was A. Start hanging out with my bro and catching up with old friends I had lost because of her. B. Go out and meet someone new. In the last 3 months i've slowly started talkin to a few girls and i'll be honest I feel 100x better now.

Straight up my moms b/f gave me the best advice...There is more Fish in the Sea...the sooner you relize that the sooner you won't give a **** what she does...Example...my ex is going out tonight on a date (heard it from my brother) Do I still have some feelings for her...sure...Do I care that shes going out...Hell No...Why? Because I already have a date planned for Sun.

 

[crazymedstudent]

i think that every guy, in their lifetime has ONE girl that severely damages them. I know my college girlfriend devastated me, and for months I didn't feel the same and didn't have any motivation to do anything much less look for other girls.

5/6 years later I can look back on that experience with my ex-girlfriend as a PIVOTAL point in my life. The way she made me feel made me realize what I wanted from a girl. She was never perfect, but in retrospect I learned so much from reflecing on my interactions (including all my AFCness) with her to build better relationships with the girls I have been with since.

Now, I am much more satisfied with my choices of women because I realize that you can't necessarily control who likes you and you have to just let it go with the flow and give yourself opportunities to meet new women.

Most of us have been in your boat and though we wish you weren't feeling the way you are feeling, you will eventually get over it.

One day you will look back on this relationship and realize that despite its crappy ending, it made you a better man.

Cheers

 

[chinwaggler]

You're not the only person this has happened to. Do what a real man would do.

 

[vachir]

You're not the only person this has happened to. Do what a real man would do.

take what you learned from this, and be a stronger man. you know what to do

take care