Weird use of 'hon', and myself wanting a smack in the head

[RedScorpion]

A few days ago, I headed over to my friends to play cod. The girl I liked, my friend's fiancee, and another girl whom I'm friends (and has a bf) with were all getting ready to go out and celebrate the girl I like birthday at his house. I got there, she smiled broadly at me, I smiled briefly at her (wasn't feeling too nice towards her), then looked away and sat down. A couple minute later, the third girl was putting her boots so I said "Oh, putting on your hooker boots eh?". Then the girl I like says "Those aren't hooker boots. They'd have to go up to your knee to be hooker boots, hon." First time I've ever heard her use 'hon' before, and she said it in a fairly snotty manner as well (friend confirmed when I asked him what was with that). Instinct was to be like 'no, fu bish you're wrong', but I said "Ah well then she's putting on her pretend hooker boots'. Not sure why she combated what I said. Nothing else was said after that, they got ready and left to party.

For history, no relationship between us, mostly periods of ignoring then brief periods of talking (like 4 weeks of ignoring each other then her suddenly texting, how's the house going, let me know if you need help, I can come over, etc.). Then quiet. Latest stretch is us being friends, talking and joking with each other before this. Worst is I know she's flirting with my same friend who's about to get married, and his fiancee seems oblivious (which she recently re became best friends with). Flirts with everyone. She's an attention ***** for sure. I'm basically wanting justification to no contact her.

I'm definitely an AFC, I know what I want to do, but I want to react the best way.

 

[Zerro]

Nothing wrong with the response you gave, it was definitely classier than the one you almost gave. Don't think much of it though, it sounds like she was using "hon" in a rather *****y sense anyway.

After all, just because the women handing me my food at the drive through sometimes call me "sweetie" doesn't mean they want to **** me. What a woman says doesn't matter nearly as much her actions, the later is what you need to read into. From the sound of her behavior she's not interested in you anyway.

 

[RedScorpion]

Thanks, I was wondering if I did alright with the reply to her. And I agree, unfortunately she's not that interested. If she is, it's only for the cat and mouse chase. Every time we talk nice, she backs off, I simultaneously back off. She's always the one to restart things, things go well, I do a negative thing (or choose to ignore her because of something), she goes to ignore me. And so on. Frustrating because she sucks me back in, and, I let myself get sucked in. Been going on for about 6 months. Which is my fault.

I'm trying to break it by not doing any afc things. Haven't texted or msgd her or anything like that. I have deleted her number and texts. Have not said 'I like you' at any point (although my behavior most likely has revealed me). Her birthday was the day after the party, I omitted wishing her happy birthday (because why reward snotty behavior with attention, and positive attention at that?). Next step I feel is blocking her on fb. Not really because I want to get back at her, or make her sad or whatever (part of me does, to be true). But, I want to send the signal of 'no more stringing me along'. And that this really is it.

 

[FairShake]

She didn't like being called a hooker. What a b!tch! Who is she to stand up to your disrespect?

 

[RedScorpion]

Haha, it was her/my friend I said that to, not herself. The friend just laughed.

 

[Zerro]

Haha, it was her/my friend I said that to, not herself. The friend just laughed.

Even more *****y is she was defending someone who a) didn't need to be defended and b) wasn't even insulted. It sounds like she was just looking for an excuse to talk down at you.

 

[Atom Smasher]

I think in this case "hon" = "douchebag".

You should have said "How did you become such an expert on the subject?", watch the sh!t hit the fan, and then watch her looking at you (the bad boy) all night long.

 

[RedScorpion]

Haha, that would have been an awesome reply, I wish I had thought it. Yeah exactly zerro, I was surprised she jumped in with such a defensive posture. I was like wtf? I don't think she had any reason to talk down to me, the worst being I gave her a half-hearted smile back when she smiled at me. Y'know, big whoop.

The only other thing I can think of is she holds a grudge against me. Example, she gave me a dirty look and said 'You only have a G2?' when I said I only had my intermediate driver's license. Gave her no response. Talked to my Mcpl about it for advice (because she'd been harassing me a bit). He talked to her, She talked to me about it, said she didn't mean to do it, I could talk to her about anything, etc. I thought, cool, she was mature and was nice. Settled the problem. Was cool with her (mostly) from there. And she invited out (group stuff) and crap.

Fast forward 6-7 months, we were playing cards at work, she said 'Don't judge me!' and I was just teasing, saying 'Never'. She responded 'Yeah you did', I went 'Huh? When?'. She said 'Last year, you judged me on how I looked at you'. I just thought "are you fkin kidding me". Later that night, she was bugging me on what I was doing (snottily) I blew up on her for the other things she's called me/insulted me on and didn't apologize for. She apologized for that after, never knew, and was sorry and blah blah blah. Yep.

 

[NewAndImproved]

She didn't like being called a hooker. What a b!tch! Who is she to stand up to your disrespect?

Exactly. OP is the one that started the negging. Sounds like the friend didn't want to engage with you but the fact that the girl you're interested in responded means she does feel something-- maybe it's positive, maybe it's negative.

Sarcastic girls are kinda my thing so IMO, I'd go with positive. They're the easiest to crack. When they're being negative it's just a front.

EDIT: Reading your post above I'm even more certain.

 

[RedScorpion]

Exactly. OP is the one that started the negging. Sounds like the friend didn't want to engage with you but the fact that the girl you're interested in responded means she does feel something-- maybe it's positive, maybe it's negative.

Sarcastic girls are kinda my thing so IMO, I'd go with positive. They're the easiest to crack. When they're being negative it's just a front.

EDIT: Reading your post above I'm even more certain.

Hmmm maybe. Maybe it was a response to me not being very friendly to her when I saw her at the house. And of course choosing to talk to her friend. And that she essentially had a conversation with every single person that said happy birthday to her on fb (or minimum 'Thanks! '). Never seen someone that dedicated to happy birthday replies. (I didn't wish her it)

Her friend has a bf (one of my friends too).

Hard to path thinking this way.

Other thing that is a huge blockade to me is flirting with my friend that's engaged. Same day as party, earlier in the afternoon, texted him to go drinking with her and couple friends. He ignored (he was napping), she texts me this

Her: "Hey do you know where *guy* is?"
Me: I dropped him off at his house, not sure where he is now
Her: How long ago?
Me: Like 4 hours lol
Her: Thanks!
Me: Did you text him?
Me: np
---half hour later
Her: Yeah, he didn't reply. I was worried loll
--Half hour after that
Me: Ah ok, did you talk to him then?
Her: Nope it's ok though



Showed my friend the texts, he was like 'Why is she 'worried' about me?' And normally, when people don't respond to texts, they don't text their friend asking 'Where is he?? Omg I'm worried'

Then she invited him and fiancee over for bbq burgers. And texted him the next morning after the party asking how his fiancee was doing, don't wake her up, where's my breakfast too. And she's done lots of flirting with him before. Would be different if he was single (ok she's into him), but he's not.

 

[RedScorpion]

Well, after reading awhile on threads and opinions and such, I found one that had a link describing borderline personality disorder. And it fits her like a gem. Not only that, but my reactions to her as well. Perfectly. It's shocking really. Because I never understood her at all (even for a woman). Made no sense at all. It's made me really glad I found it.

Deleted her fb, blocked. And prayfully will keep no contact indefinitely. :rock: