Weird Situation!

[resevil]

Deleted. Thanks for the help.

 

[Stagger Lee]

I wouldn't call her again. I think she is just leading you on and playing games. She will string you a long for years at this rate. You let her flake and cancel on you so many times she thinks you are owned. The only disappointment she had when she saw you out that night was that you didn't continue to chase her. I think she is wanting to make you one of her orbiters to gratify her ego. How old is she anyway? How old are you?

 

[thevilittletroll]

this is a pretty easy one. first of all, if it takes two months after meeting a chick for the first time to meet up, its a strong sign she's never going out with you. you have not built up enough attraction. yes you may have sparked up her interest levels when you first met, but they quickly faded away. her attraction for you was completely gone after about 2 weeks of not seeing each other. even if her excuses were true, a woman that is attracted to you and genuinely interested will make it a priority to hang out with you at some point within a week or 2 at the most. i understand that people are busy, but c'mon. not to mention how many other guys she's currently dating, talking to, or having sex with already. more times then not in this situation your just the low man on the totam pole. build more attraction, work on that part of your game.

you seemed to have played it cool, and thats always the right attitude, however do this with her and any other chick you meet that pulls the same s.hit. if any girl flakes on me twice, i will only tell her about things i'm already doing. example text her: me and some friends are going to x bar. you are not inviting her out, and your text does not require a response from her. if she's not even responding to the texts, you can next her. if she's responding but not showing up, this can be seen as low interest level. its a judgement call on your part to decide how many times your going to send texts like this, i like to use the 3 strikes rule. but think about it, how many times are you gonna let some chick blow you off before you realize that she's probably not into you. girls like to use excuses that its impossible for anyone to get upset about. like anything involving a family member, mom, dad, sibling, child, or whatever. if you show you are upset in any way, you can consider yourself nexted. i would say that 90% of the time its not true, but i'll always give them the benifit of the doubt the first time just in case it is true. oh and by the way let me drop this little bit of info on you. i've heard that excuse over 100 times before, and every single girl that has ever used one of those excuses, i never went out with her.

 

[resevil]

I wouldn't call her again. I think she is just leading you on and playing games. She will string you a long for years at this rate. You let her flake and cancel on you so many times she thinks you are owned. The only disappointment she had when she saw you out that night was that you didn't continue to chase her. I think she is wanting to make you one of her orbiters to gratify her ego. How old is she anyway? How old are you?

I think the same too, im 25 and she is 20.

this is a pretty easy one. first of all, if it takes two months after meeting a chick for the first time to meet up, its a strong sign she's never going out with you. you have not built up enough attraction. yes you may have sparked up her interest levels when you first met, but they quickly faded away. her attraction for you was completely gone after about 2 weeks of not seeing each other. even if her excuses were true, a woman that is attracted to you and genuinely interested will make it a priority to hang out with you at some point within a week or 2 at the most. i understand that people are busy, but c'mon. not to mention how many other guys she's currently dating, talking to, or having sex with already. more times then not in this situation your just the low man on the totam pole. build more attraction, work on that part of your game.

you seemed to have played it cool, and thats always the right attitude, however do this with her and any other chick you meet that pulls the same s.hit. if any girl flakes on me twice, i will only tell her about things i'm already doing. example text her: me and some friends are going to x bar. you are not inviting her out, and your text does not require a response from her. if she's not even responding to the texts, you can next her. if she's responding but not showing up, this can be seen as low interest level. its a judgement call on your part to decide how many times your going to send texts like this, i like to use the 3 strikes rule. but think about it, how many times are you gonna let some chick blow you off before you realize that she's probably not into you. girls like to use excuses that its impossible for anyone to get upset about. like anything involving a family member, mom, dad, sibling, child, or whatever. if you show you are upset in any way, you can consider yourself nexted. i would say that 90% of the time its not true, but i'll always give them the benifit of the doubt the first time just in case it is true. oh and by the way let me drop this little bit of info on you. i've heard that excuse over 100 times before, and every single girl that has ever used one of those excuses, i never went out with her.

I understand where you are coming from, and i know that if i get 1 meetup with her i can increase the attraction level hugely, like i have done in the past. Its just been difficult to get this one out!

When she called for the first time last month, she seemed quite interested and asking me about which movies i like, the ones in cinema and asking about how nice my uni is and her wanting to see it. but i was busy that month and said maybe when im less busy we will meet up. Dunno, it could be more games.

So did you next the girl when she came up with those excuses? and what would you do / say to her if she doesn't call back? or take time to call back? would you just keep it totally cool like you didn't realise?

 

[Pimp-sicle]

I met this girl while shopping she kept looking at me and when i looked at her she glanced away (she is shy, traditional and lives with parents, uni student, hb8), spoke to her / flirted, she was interested, got email, flirted via email and also got her number. We continued casual texting and keeping it all fun, and I invited her out first time via text and she said maybe. Being persistent but not needy tried again week after kept it fun again and called her this time to invite her to join me later that day... she said she will let me know, later texted she can't today due to family and said next time. I have always kept cool.

There's a difference between persistence and being able to understand when a girl doesn't have enough interest in you. As another reply pointed out, when a girl is highly interested in a guy they will drop their plans to make time for you. The fact that this girl made you hang out on a merry-go round for over 2 months and then some should have been the red flag to open your eyes to the fact that she is not interested, but enjoys the attention you give her.

The week after tried again, asked her to join me grocery shopping, she said she will meet up, “BUT I LOOK LIKE A MESS” (insecure?) i kept c/f. She never turned up and text me she was waiting for a lift and couldn't make it... asked me if im going out later on... said no i was genuinely busy, and she said “we will defo meet up". I said cool and left it there.

Again your over-analyzing all this to the max because you don't know the fundamentals of the game. Your getting sucked in by her WORDS, instead of judging her for her actions. She goes from I dunno, I couldn't get a ride, we will definitely meet up to disappearing, yet somewhere in your mind you think she's interested in you?! Actions bro, its all about actions and her's SCREAM low interest.

Called her few days later to arrange a meet up, she didn't pick up or return call, tried again week after same stuff and she text a few days after that and being all sorry and she will explain later and saying she will call me. I just said "ok" and left it there.

Okay remember that difference between persistence and low interest? Well at this point your creeping into desperation mode. Not an attractive trait at all and even though she had low interest from the start, now it goes to a whole different level where the girl will disrespect you because she can tell you don't get it. Again think logically, if you were really into a girl that exchanged numbers with you and she kept calling you up to hang out, you would want to go right? And if you didn't have a ride, but you knew 2-3 days in advance that she wanted to hang out, wouldn't you arrange for someone to give you a ride to the place? And if you truly couldn't make it, wouldn't you call her BEFORE you were suppose to meet up to let her know and/or re-schedule?

She initiated text for the first time (after 2 months) after a few days. I was all fun and flirty invited her again stupidly via text she never replied for a week and came up with excuse that someone passed away in family (don't know how true), im like "oh ok, i hope everything is ok."

Bro, flat out your clueless in this situation. Seems like she was texting you to possibly open the door and see if you were still going to give her all the attention you were before and like a dog to his bone you fell for it right on cue. You don't just invite a girl to go out after not talking to her at all for 2 months. You catch up with her, flirt with her and SEE how SHE responds to it. And for the record if I was in this situation I would have never even talked to this b-yatch after all this time she wasted.


she wanted convo kept asking stuff and about my life, i just ended text, called her few days later... no pick up again. At this point i couldn't be bothered with her, stopped contacting her. but then she returned my call first time few days later asking me a lot of questions and constantly apologising about not picking up phone, i spoke to her a while told her im busy cos of uni work for a month and said i have to go sleep... I think she wanted to talk more, she said ok il call u end of the week. Of course no callback. I didn't call also and almost forgot about her.

You say you couldn't be bothered with her anymore, but yet you answer her calls? Why? Do you realize what your doing? Your enabling her shiatty behavior to continue. Your basically saying:

"Its okay if you flake, never answer my calls and take me for a ride down bullshyt lane. Don't worry I won't ever get mad at you because I don't believe you should take responsibility for your actions.

Then my brother towards the end said why don't u talk to her u know her (he was there when I got her details and has good memory and was quite sure)... im like u sure it’s her, i didn't recognise her!? lol i wasn't totally convinced but thought she does look kinda familiar and soon she left, seeming quite annoyed (am I overthinking?). I called the next day to speak to her... didn’t pick up (been a day).

Wow! You see her in person and won't talk to her, then call her the next day?! Bro you can't even make up your own mind on what to do, no wonder you have given this girl 8000 chances.

Now she maybe pissed off but it’s my fault i couldn’t remember her face!

Ummm you seriously need to learn the basics because you are the definition of an AFC aka Mr. Nice Guy aka Glutton For Punishment


(dunno what’s in her mind, and not gonna go there!). I had a great chance to hugely increase the interest level.

No you didn't have a chance to HUGELY increase the interest level. Because this girl was not attracted to you; now that doesn't mean just physically speaking (she could have been), but without attraction you can't increase anything. What's 0 + 0? Exactly, when you had nothing, you can't increase anything.


This hot and cold approach from this girl is kinda confusing me, while i think she might not be that into me, she might be thinking the same for me and trying to play games to find out if i care about her. I know she is shy and i haven't built much comfort or I wasn’t that strict with her for not calling back... i don't text or call that often.

Dude its not HOT and COLD?! Where is the hot part? Please explain that to me? Was it when she never called you back 18 million times? Or was it when she flaked on your scheduled date, then text you AFTER the fact giving you a bs excuse that she didn't have a ride. Or maybe it was the random time when her family member passed away? This dumb chick text you on her own once or twice and you think that she's into you after all the disrespect? Wake up!

This is not oneitis, but I don’t like NEXTing girls unless they say NO, im looking for day2, to see if she worth a relationship.

This just keeps getting better with the random stuff your saying. First off this DEFINITELY IS ONE-ITIS! If it wasn't you wouldn't be posting on a internet forum about such a low quality w-hore. Secondly how could you even say some chump thing like "I want to see if she's worth a relationship when she doesn't even call you back?!!! And the worst part is, you buy all her fake excuses. I can understand if something comes up with a girl from time to time, but connect the dots on this one and you can call a spade a spade.

I have plates spinning.

Do you really? So you have other girls you are sleeping with? Dating and getting female attention from, yet your primarily focused on this flakey, lame chick?

Not too sure where to take it from here, i don't have experience with shy girls (I’m learning and love challenges)... should i just leave it here and not call her again? And wait for her to contact? Or call her /text her again a few days later and not mention her being there / not remembering her face?

This isn't a case of a shy girl. This is a case of a girl who has low/zero interest in you and you not taking the hint for whatever reason. Its good to look back and analyze situations, but only to figure out how you can improve and what you might have done wrong that's REALISTIC. Its NOT good to over-anlyze why a girl might be doing this or that and constantly give her bad behavior the free pass.


Thanks for reading

See above in bold








PIMP

 

[resevil]

PIMP

Thanks dude, i understand exactly what you are saying! Its time for me completely forget / ignore her.

And yep you are right i don't know why i'm wasting my time with this chick.

Now i am always learning and enjoy learning (i was very bad a few years back). you have told me all the signs i have missed of zero/low-interest and me screwing up...could you tell me how i should have responded to her flaky behaviour? or how you would've taken this situation early on?

 

[Pimp-sicle]

PIMP

Thanks dude, i understand exactly what you are saying! Its time for me completely forget / ignore her.

And yep you are right i don't know why i'm wasting my time with this chick.

Now i am always learning and enjoy learning (i was very bad a few years back). you have told me all the signs i have missed of zero/low-interest and me screwing up...could you tell me how i should have responded to her flaky behaviour? or how you would've taken this situation early on?

No problem bro, believe I know how it feels going through the struggles when your trying to get this all down, but trust me just keep meeting women and practicing good habits and you will get better.

I follow the 2 strike rule when dealing with any woman, new or old. So in essence what that means to me is she gets two chances. If she fuvks up on both of them, then I drop her. Not only does this simplify things, but OFTEN TIMES it makes the girl suddenly start chasing YOU, because she realizes your not a chump and then feels like she's missing out.

Let me explain that in a little more detail with some examples.


What you did in your situation through your actions (repeated phone calls) was convey to this girl that she can treat you like absolute garbage and you would continue to her loyal lap dog. I could give you multiple examples of this, but I think you know which ones I'm talking about.

When you first met her and called her up, then asked her out she was wishy washy. That to me would have signaled right there that her interest wasn't high enough OR she was a little immature and liked to have guys chase her. In either case that's STRIKE 1. You asked her out, she gave you a wishy washy answer AND she didn't counter offer with another day or time that worked better for her.

I'm all for persistence because I def think lots of guys give up too soon, but its gotta be more casual that active. In other words after you asked her out the first time and she was wishy washy, I would have immediately put her on the back burner, focus on my other plates or go meet new ones. Then I would hit her up and try an flirt with her, try to build up some level of interest (laughing, flirting, sexual frame if possible) and when the conversation was going extremely well, would tell her I have to go. In other words I would NOT have asked her out the 2nd time I called.

Then I would have hit her up again maybe a couple days later, see if she is more responsive and then ask her out. If she agreed, then great, if she didn't or flaked and gave me the car excuse I wouldn't have even responded to her text. She's cut, done, deleted, she's lost her chance dunzo!

Now obviously you know the way you handled it was the wrong way, but the reason that it didn't work were:

-every time you called as mentioned you re-inforced that you would accept her bad behavior

-this creates thoughts in a girl's head such as: "he must not meet many girls" "he's a "nice guy" -aka the kiss of death label AND I DON'T CARE WTF A GIRL SAYS SHE WANTS, DON'T LISTEN TO HER! Its all about her actions. Women are emotional beings, driven by the desire to be around a masculine man, someone who is sure of themselves and doesn't take her bs.

-all the above makes you lose value in the girl's mind. And the crazy part is you have barely talked to each other.

Wann know what else? You most likely lost her completely after that first phone conversation. Why? Because most guys have no idea how to create and elevate attraction. So instead they talk about boring stuff, things that doesn't excite the girl, things that make her less and less excited to see you again. Because think about it, the way a girl thinks is "if he's this boring on the phone, he must be worse in person!" Again women don't think logically, they base their thoughts on how the FEEL.

What you need to learn aside from not buying a the bs a woman is trying to feed you, is how to quickly get her excited and wanting MORE of you.

Many of the things you will read on this site are guidelines, designed to beat the "nice guy" out of you. Some of them might come off as extreme or things that you would say "no way would that work," but don't get lost in analyzing specific lines or theories.

DO get obsessed with learning how to be ubber confident in yourself. Some tips on doing that are by:

-improving your physical appearance: clothes, physique, social skills, hair, teeth etc

-improve your posture, body language eye contact etc

Did you know almost all of communication is non verbal? Hence again why a woman will tell you she misses you and you must hang out when you randomly run into each other, then never call or call you back.


When you truly grasp what I'm trying to teach you here, you will be able to get away with some shiat that you NEVER thought was possible.


Move on from this dumb byatch, don't look back, don't answer her texts if she does contact you. Be confident, learn to make a girl laugh and most importantly feel good in your own skin.






PIMP