Weird situation with a fling from the past

vermilion

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Hi everyone, I want to clarify one thing that happened to me recently so I want to hear other opinions on it. Especially from guys with experience.

I will keep it as short as possible. 3 years ago I was in a fling with this one girl that was crazy about me for months, like 24/7 texting, sending nude pics, clips, saying that she wants me like no one else, etc etc.. She was at a LTR for few years at the time before she broke up cuz of me. I liked her a lot at that time as well and it was all good until she started distancing and playing stupid games(that I hate and don't tolerate) by the end of that same year(probably love bombing phase was over at the time).

Couple of months after that she found some bf, but she was still contacting me from time to time saying that she wants me and that she is thinking about me every day. I didnt find those things serious tbh thats why I never tried to re-ignite the flame with her or anything. Few months after that she broke with him and guess whos the first person she contacted. But again I didnt took any baits or nothing and we just kept in touch on and off(like few msgs per month) until I decided last year(in april) to let her know that I will delete all her photos and clips(nude or not) she sent me and that I am done with her. She said good luck with everything and I basically walked away for good. The very next day a friend showed me that she posted an IG story with some photo that said everything I care about is gone.


Zero msgs zero anything since then from me to her to give her anything to think about that I might want her back. I never had oneitis on a girl or some very strong attachments but those small talks that we had pissed me off cuz I knew nothing will happen between us and that's why I wanted to cut her off and I don't want to be some backup plan to anyone, especially to girls.
All of this wouldn't be funny if I didn't saw 10 days ago that she all of a sudden deleted me on discord and she deleted my phone number as well. Its been 8 MONTHS since I send her that last msg and keep in mind in the meantime she had a birthday and it was a new year, I used to always send her a small msg on those days nothing too much. Just happy birthday/new year all the best and that's it.

Did she secretly hoped I would come back on those 2 particular days or in any day in general so she kept my number for this long. She couldn't get over the fact that we will not speak anymore ? Cuz she said plenty of times in the past even if I marry u and we divorce I still want u in my life, I never want to lose u..

Or this could be a desperate move by her to get my attention this way cuz she didn't want to msg me directly and say what she wants to say. Its an ego thing these girls have. I have a lot of experience with them(I am 31) and I saw a lot of stuff first hand myself but I wasn't in a situation quite like this before, that's why I am curious to see what it could be, that's all. Cuz I proved in these last 8 months by not sending a single msg or anything of any kind to give her a signal that I might want her back in my life and she noticed that as well and that's why "all of a sudden" she did something like this.. My guess at least.
 

Modern Man Advice

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Why do you care? Are you planning or even considering getting back with her? If you are smart, you shouldn't. So in that case, who cares or what difference does it make whether she wants you, contacts you, or why she does? None.

Do not invest energy in the wrong places.

What this does tell me, is that if you are asking is because you haven't truly moved on. You may say you did, even convinced yourself that you did, but you haven't. So truly move on and focus your energy on your present and future. She is neither of those two.

To put it into context, the same thing happened to me right before NYE. A girl I dated, with whom I had the next sex of my life, reached out to me 4 years later. She had already married, and separated, AND had a child. Long story short, she said she wished she would have had the wisdom to understand me and appreciate me and that would do anything to have a man like me now.

I hadn't thought about her in years so what was my response? I hope she is doing fine and wish her the best.
 

vermilion

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Why do you care? Are you planning or even considering getting back with her? If you are smart, you shouldn't. So in that case, who cares or what difference does it make whether she wants you, contacts you, or why she does? None.

Do not invest energy in the wrong places.

What this does tell me, is that if you are asking is because you haven't truly moved on. You may say you did, even convinced yourself that you did, but you haven't. So truly move on and focus your energy on your present and future. She is neither of those two.

To put it into context, the same thing happened to me right before NYE. A girl I dated, with whom I had the next sex of my life, reached out to me 4 years later. She had already married, and separated, AND had a child. Long story short, she said she wished she would have had the wisdom to understand me and appreciate me and that would do anything to have a man like me now.

I hadn't thought about her in years so what was my response? I hope she is doing fine and wish her the best.
Trust me I couldn't care less about this girl, like I stated couple of times during my post. I literally never spoke about her or anything but focusing on myself ever since I broke contact with her, it just happened that she put herself on my radar by doing what she did recently and I was curious what it could mean thats all.
 

Modern Man Advice

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Trust me I couldn't care less about this girl, like I stated couple of times during my post. I literally never spoke about her or anything but focusing on myself ever since I broke contact with her, it just happened that she put herself on my radar by doing what she did recently and I was curious what it could mean thats all.
Curiosity means you care, don't lie to yourself. Why you don't see that or accept that, is beyond me but anyway, the faster you accept this fact, the faster you'll move on.

Just look at other's people comments, we can all see you are still hung up deep inside to some degree.

Do not be curious, do not ask, do not wonder. DO move on.
 

Bingo-Player

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Why do you care? Are you planning or even considering getting back with her? If you are smart, you shouldn't. So in that case, who cares or what difference does it make whether she wants you, contacts you, or why she does? None.

Do not invest energy in the wrong places.
Agreed OP is wasting way too much time thinking about this , scarcity mindset & lack of options
 

Manure Spherian

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Cuz she said plenty of times in the past even if I marry u and we divorce I still want u in my life, I never want to lose u..
Did you want to marry and have children with her?
 

vermilion

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Curiosity means you care, don't lie to yourself. Why you don't see that or accept that, is beyond me but anyway, the faster you accept this fact, the faster you'll move on.
I know its contradicting with what you are saying and it makes perfect sense, but I already did a long time ago. I never lie to myself, if I make a mistake I will admit it. My mistake was even writing this post in the first place and thats why your msg makes sense. Lets just move on from this and thanks for the advice.
 
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