Weird Situation. What Do You Think?

[AmsterdamAssassin]

All the forum members here..... were on pins and needles just wondering if you do or do not do this on purpose. Finally.... we can now sleep well with the comfort that we'll make it to the new year.

If I had known, I would've told you earlier.
Or probably not, I don't know.
Too much of a tease, I guess.

 

[Foe]

I would have gone for the close, you had the perfect setup you took a feminine approach by not finishing what you started.

She's juggling, you would have been #1 if you closed, she went back to her other guys place, told him about how amazing you were and now he's all in.

Or something like that.

 

[jamesfromhouston]

Thanks for the input guys.

I would have gone for the close that night but I was feeling quite tired.

Since her IL was so high that night (which I determined from: 1) the make-outs/kisses 2) her compliance of bouncing with me 3) her overall giggly, lovey-dovey stares, bright smile 4) flirtiness) I thought that I had this one in a bag. I didn't **** her that night because I was tired.

I didn't contact her immediately after meeting her because I was busy but also because I don't want to come off as needy.

Just shocked what 24 hours difference it makes, how she can go from high IL to basically cold-fish.

My overall sense from reading everyone's answers is that she either has other branches in her life already and that night out with me was just an escape for one night, she met someone cool (i.e. me) and if that is the case, yes I should have ****ed her. The buying temperature was there. (Although I had a feeling she would have also had LMR or ASD for a ONS.)

How quick do you guys usually set a date after a first meet on an outing? How quick do you guys usually contact the girl? What do you think is the right approach?

 

[SW15]

How quick do you guys usually set a date after a first meet on an outing?

Set a date on an initial in-person approach, typically at a non-bar venue or an earlier evening Happy Hour type environment in a bar.

I always have thought that term "first meet" is a bullshiit term. Stop using swipe apps.

How quick do you guys usually contact the girl?

If you set a date during the approach, you don't need to contact her much in between. Perhaps the day before the scheduled date you send one text message and that's it.

I would have gone for the close that night but I was feeling quite tired.

I didn't **** her that night because I was tired.

This is an issue that doesn't get talked about enough. It's an issue in both first dates and same night sex from nightlife venues.

With same night sex from a nightlife venue, you're typically leaving the bar between 11:30 pm and 1:30 am. By the time you get to your home, her home, or a hotel room after a walk or Uber/Lyft/taxi ride, it is often between 12:00 am and 2:00 am. If you woke up before 8 am that morning, physical exhaustion is a real possibility. Physical exhaustion + alcohol have the potential to make the quality of sex worse. Women don't want to have sex again if the quality of sex is bad. At the same time, with or without sex, you are not likely to see her again. The man is put in a tough position. It's a position that is good to avoid. Even if you close the interaction before leaving the nightlife venue together late at night with a date agreement for the future, it is more likely than not that she will flake on that date.

The typical man who arranges a date from an in-person approach or a swipe app arranges a drinks date or a dinner date at 7:30 pm or 8 pm. These dates, even if going well (more likely that a drinks date is going well), might end at 10 pm or later. If it's something like 9:45 pm - 10:30 pm and first date sex is a possibility, there are still the issues of physical exhaustion + alcohol that could easily lead to bad sex. You could postpone sex until a 2nd or 3rd date and possibly have it earlier in the day or schedule your first dates earlier.

 

[jamesfromhouston]

Stop using bold on a forum for start, it reeks attention seeking. Maybe that’s what you do in reality that turns off women

That's your interpretation bro. I've never come to SS to seek attention. For what purpose? To get the attention of other "anonymous" men? I'm straight.

The bold is just a matter of how I edit. In my mind, I'm just highlighting the main questions for those who want to skip the other parts that I think maybe less important to the continuation thread over some other questions I have.

 

[Pierce Manhammer]

WHY WOULD YOU SAY THAT?

Use all the features of the interface they’re there for use.

Stop using bold on a forum for start, it reeks attention seeking. Maybe that’s what you do in reality that turns off women

 

[Nitrozv20]

she most likely finished herself off when she got home, expecting you to and you disappointed her. Her burner went from High to Low.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

Thanks for the input guys.

I would have gone for the close that night but I was feeling quite tired.

Since her IL was so high that night (which I determined from: 1) the make-outs/kisses 2) her compliance of bouncing with me 3) her overall giggly, lovey-dovey stares, bright smile 4) flirtiness) I thought that I had this one in a bag. I didn't **** her that night because I was tired.

I didn't contact her immediately after meeting her because I was busy but also because I don't want to come off as needy.

Just shocked what 24 hours difference it makes, how she can go from high IL to basically cold-fish.

My overall sense from reading everyone's answers is that she either has other branches in her life already and that night out with me was just an escape for one night, she met someone cool (i.e. me) and if that is the case, yes I should have ****ed her. The buying temperature was there. (Although I had a feeling she would have also had LMR or ASD for a ONS.)

How quick do you guys usually set a date after a first meet on an outing? How quick do you guys usually contact the girl? What do you think is the right approach?

Fatal mistake of assuming a new woman's interest IN THE MOMENT is her actual interest level overall. ESPECIALLY one you don't actually have a planned date with.

Often times these are very different. Never assume you'll ever see a woman who you randomly meet out and about again or that they are interested in anything other than a night of hot wild sex.

IMO, this chick was down for some holiday sex but nothing else. Maybe because she has a boyfriend already, is dating someone else or whatever other reason.

And if you were so "tired" why did you bother going to a nightclub after with her? That doesn't make a lot of sense to me.

You either need to be all in or all out in these situations. Being half-assed leads to where you are now.

 

[RangerMIke]

Based on my personal experiences (and I've messed up a few of them) I've learned that instead of waiting for a better environment/time.... it's best to strike when the iron is hot.

I've learned the hard way... that what seemed so promising one night can quickly turn into the opposite.

My theories:
A: It was a matter of being at the right place and at the right time
or
B: If she's giving strong signals and we don't advance to the max, she is insulted or humiliated or is too disappointed because we didn't pursue harder.

This also has the added benefit of finding out as soon as possible if you have a shot. The sooner you know she's not interested... the sooner you can forget about her.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

This also has the added benefit of finding out as soon as possible if you have a shot. The sooner you know she's not interested... the sooner you can forget about her.

He would have likely found she was horny that night and he was right place, right time but that was likely all it was going to be.

 

[The Duke]

If you like banging new girls and culminating lots of crazy/fun stories, then a man should always strike when the iron is hot.

Girls are emotional and in the moment. Ride the wave to your advantage.

Always be down to fuhk.

But you must accept the consequences. Sometimes you end up with a crazy hot mess, sometimes you end up with a fresh case of Chlamydia.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

If you like banging new girls and culminating lots of crazy/fun stories, then a man should always strike when the iron is hot.

Girls are emotional and in the moment. Ride the wave to your advantage.

Always be down to fuhk.

But you must accept the consequences. Sometimes you end up with a crazy hot mess, sometimes you end up with a fresh case of Chlamydia.

True enough but if you aren't then what's the purpose of going to a nightclub with her?

 

[The Duke]

True enough but if you aren't then what's the purpose of going to a nightclub with her?

Very solid point. And most likely that's why things ended like they did.

 

[MtmVaott]

Things ended because OP was unaware of what he felt at the moment at her door and therefore was unable to to address it in a constructive way.

From the woman's point of view, OP obviously chickened out but is now pursuing her like nothing happened and like he doesn't know he chickened out. She would expect him to instead text her why he didn't get in or never contact her again. She probably thinks OP is dangerous as well.