Weekend plans advice

[Michajo]

Hi guys,

Long time lurker, first time poster. I apologize for the long post in advance.

To keep the background as brief as possible I went through high school and college not really getting with any women. However, I did some work on myself, and have gotten to the point where I'm at least in the game, although my no means great or even good at it.

That brings us the present situation. I've garnered the attention of a women and would just like to pick the brains of some more experienced guys as how to handle this.

Recently, I've been out on 3 dinner and drink "dates" with, let’s call her L. They've all gone great from my perspective. No awkwardness, I've let her do most of the talking and really flexed the ole' listening skills. We've traded who pays. Unfortunately, I haven't kissed her yet, although there has been non-sexual physical contact. As a converse to that negative, the conversations have turned markedly more sexual with each "date." (Nothing really on the first, talking about her large collection of bras and panties on the second, and finally on the third to talking about how much sex her friends have, talking about her breasts, asking if I would get naked for her, etc.)

At any rate, that brings us to the present. She's asked me to come over to her uncle's house (she is house sitting alone) on both Saturday and Sundays nights. She's explained that she wants to cook for me and has also thrown out the idea of getting drinks nearby and then coming back to the house.

So that brings me my request for guidance. What would you guys do if you were in my shoes? Obviously, best case scenario is wild sex all weekend, although I certainly won't count on it. I’d be happy with less.

Basically, here are my thoughts/plans: (1) I'm going to bring some nice wine. Good social lubricant and since neither of us has to drive, it seems natural; (2) I know there's a pool so suggest skinny dipping if the circumstances are right (obviously non-skeezy, joking, etc.); (3) Remember to take it slow, don't stick to any outline and basically play it by ear.

Anyway, thoughts? Advice? Criticisms?

 

[Kailex]

Don't forget the condoms.

She's inviting you over... to a home... alone.
She wants you to have sex with her.

Do NOT let it go past her cooking... if you two eat, the mood will die.

This whole ordeal is indicative to sexual intercourse. Do NOT pass this opportunity up or you will be Friend-Zoned.

She wants a kiss, kino, escalation, and sex.
If a woman asks you to come over to an empty house and that she wants to cook for you... the immediate translation is: I want you to make me sizzle like a fajita in my bed.

 

[Michajo]

Don't forget the condoms.

She's inviting you over... to a home... alone.
She wants you to have sex with her.

Do NOT let it go past her cooking... if you two eat, the mood will die.

This whole ordeal is indicative to sexual intercourse. Do NOT pass this opportunity up or you will be Friend-Zoned.

She wants a kiss, kino, escalation, and sex.
If a woman asks you to come over to an empty house and that she wants to cook for you... the immediate translation is: I want you to make me sizzle like a fajita in my bed.

Ha ha. Thanks man. I like the simile. Any other tips on how to progress from the "walk in the door, hi, how are you," to some serious stuff. Again, any ideas would be amazing.

 

[Iceberg]

Ha ha. Thanks man. I like the simile. Any other tips on how to progress from the "walk in the door, hi, how are you," to some serious stuff. Again, any ideas would be amazing.

Not to oversimplify it, but it's pretty much like you've seen on the movies.

You enjoy your dinner (unless you start banging from the start), you enjoy a movie on the couch, your kino-ing her, you make out, then you take it to the bedroom.

It's not like there's a check list you need to bring with you. Just use every opportunity to touch her. If she's at the stove, walk over, put your arm around her back and sneak some of her food. Make sure that touching is a natural part of you being there. Not so much for her, even. Just for you to understand that she wants you to touch her. That's she's going to allow it. And in fact, she's going to welcome it.

You got this.

 

[scorpio1138]

she definitely wants to bang you, so get some wine drinking going and by the 2nd or 3rd glass, be closer to her and go in for a kiss.

I never understood the "eat dinner and you get no sex" theory.

Doesn't make any sense to me. If we're having drinks and then dinner, sex is next. At least thats how it plays out in my world.

 

[Michajo]

she definitely wants to bang you, so get some wine drinking going and by the 2nd or 3rd glass, be closer to her and go in for a kiss.

I never understood the "eat dinner and you get no sex" theory.

Doesn't make any sense to me. If we're having drinks and then dinner, sex is next. At least thats how it plays out in my world.

Thanks for the pep talk guys. With respect to the food, while I understand the earlier point, I think the key is just don't do anything foolish. I don't want to piss her off my not trying her food, but on the other hand, I don't think either of us will go Kobiachi on it.

Oh, with respect to drinks, I forgot another interesting detail. She's swimming and drinking with friends at the house until 4 or 5 an then the friends have someplace to be.

 

[Michajo]

Alright guys, here with an update and in need of some advice. The whole situation just kind of proves I apparently don't know **** from Shinola when it comes to women. I realize I'm delving in over-analyzing, so if the best course of action is to just nut-up, just slap some sense into me. Here goes:

First she unfortunately flaked n Saturday. She said she had to pitch-in at a charity event with her parents that lasted pretty much all day/evening. FWIW, I do believe her and have never found her to be untruthful. She apologized profusely. On the other hand, the day before she had texted and asked to do something on Friday (kind of last minute) and I told her I couldn't.

That brings us to Sunday. That night I go over to her place, have dinner and generally a nice time (she's a bad cook, but I didn't tell her that). After dinner, we sit on the couch and generally talk and drink some wine. Although the conversation was nice, my non-sexual touching wasn't really reciprocated or re-enforce, i.e., she did not re-coil or act like she didn't like it, but didn't really seem to encourage it either, if that makes sense. As I was leaving, we kissed and I got the same vibe. Oddly, I told her to kiss me and she did, twice. If she didn't want to kiss she easily could have laughed it off so to say.

So that brings me to my conundrum. In sum, the interaction this week has seemed very icy. Again, maybe it's me playing head games with myself, but I really suspect something is up. I've asked to set up dinner/drinks or whatever and she's shot me down twice without offering any kind of alternate date. However, there has been a little bit of the same old kind of joking, etc., so it hasn't all been ****.

My best guesses are these: (1) With the kiss, I indicated that I'm romantically interested and she really didn't have any romantic interest from the get go. If this is the case, I figure **** it, at least I'm figuring this out now. I'll promptly dump her as I have no interest in just being some non-sexual chick-friend. (2) Maybe she wanted more physicality on Sunday and was upset when I wasn't aggressive enough? I really don't know about this one. She really didn’t give me any green light signals on Sunday…

So, thoughts, opinions, etc. I really don't have anyone at all to talk to in real life, so thanks in advance guys. Where do I go from here? This could totally be a scrub move, but I was thinking something along the lines of, “Let’s go out to dinner sometime this week or next, let me know when you’re free.” If she gives me some bull**** about not having a single free evening in the next two weeks, **** her, it’s over. Opinions?

 

[Michajo]

Alright guys, here with an update and in need of some advice. The whole situation just kind of proves I apparently don't know **** from Shinola when it comes to women. I realize I'm delving in over-analyzing, so if the best course of action is to just nut-up and shut up, just slap some sense into me. Here goes:

First she unfortunately flaked on Saturday. She said she had to pitch-in at a charity event with her parents that lasted pretty much all day/evening. FWIW, I believe her and have never found her to be untruthful. She apologized profusely. Conversley, on Friday she had texted and asked to do something Friday (kind of last minute) and I told her I couldn't.

That brings us to Sunday. I go over to here place, have dinner and generally a nice time (she's a bad cook, but I didn't tell her that). We sit on the couch and generally talk and drink some wine. Although the conversation was nice, my non-sexual touching wasn't really reciprocated or re-enforce, i.e., she did re-coil or act like she didn't like it, but didn't really seem to encourage it, if that makes sense. As I was leaving, we kissed and I got the same vibe. Oddly, I told her to kiss me and she did, twice. If she didn't want to kiss she easily could have laughed it off so to speak.

That brings me to my conundrum. In sum, the interaction this week has seemed icy. Maybe it's me playing head games with myself but I really suspect something is up. I've asked to set up dinner/drinks or whatever and she's shot me down twice without offering any kind of alternate date. However, there has been a little bit of the same old kind of joking, etc., so it hasn't all been ****.

My best guesses are these: (1) With the kiss, I indicated that I'm romantically interested and she really didn't have romantic interest from the get go. If this is the case, I figure **** it, at least I'm figuring this out now. I'll promptly dump her as I have no interest in just being some non-sexual chick-like friend. (2) Maybe she wanted more physicality on Sunday and was upset when I wasn't aggressive enough? I really don't know about this one. She really didn’t give me any green light signals on Sunday…

So, thoughts, opinions, etc. I really don't have anyone to talk to in real life, so thanks in advance guys. Where do I go from here? This could totally be a scrub move, but I was thinking something along the lines of, “Let’s go out to dinner sometime this week or next, let me know when you’re free.” If she gives me some bull**** about not having a single free evening in the next two weeks, **** her, it’s over. Opinions?

 

[Michajo]

Quick update. Just spoke with her 3 minutes ago. Just tried to casually mention something she and I though was funny a few weeks ago and she gave me the total ***** treatment. I think it might be time to close the door on this one...

 

[Kailex]

This whole ordeal is indicative to sexual intercourse. Do NOT pass this opportunity up or you will be Friend-Zoned.

She wants a kiss, kino, escalation, and sex.
If a woman asks you to come over to an empty house and that she wants to cook for you... the immediate translation is: I want you to make me sizzle like a fajita in my bed.

I already said it once.

You know the answer to what happened.
Do NOT, EVER wait for green lights. You LEAD.
You MAKE those lights change from red to green.

You keep pushing Kino until you meet some resistance.

This one is probably done with. After 3 dates and then this, there's no coming back. Sorry, but at least you get to learn from these mistakes.

When she invites you to HER PLACE, you make her gina tingle however you possibly can. I'd rather sit at home the next day thinking about why she rejected my advances rather than thinking about why she's being so cold to me.

At least with the last minute resistance, you KNOW what the answer is, not so much with the other options. A lot of users here have this saying: Make the hoee say no.

Apply that to your next dating situation.

 

[j0n24]

I agree and speculate you didnt listen to the advice given.

You post your thread before you meet up with her and we tell you point blank that she is bringing you over alone to fvcukkk and what do you do? Eat food talk and do nothing till you leave with just a kiss and some touching.

Everyone was telling you to eat drink and then start the touching to go into the bedroom.....

You pussed out plain and simple no reason to call her anymore because she knows you have no backbone now which you showed when you told her to kiss you and then did nothing.

Just move on and hope next time you have the balls to go further. good lucks.

 

[Michajo]

Well, didn't want to hear it, but I'll concede that the previous two posters probably speak the truth. Thanks for the honest answers. I don't know though. I really think she could have just been looking for a "friend," i.e. someone to use, from day one. Maybe I'm just being cynical.

I know it's a long shot but any chance of salvaging this one? I'm not intent on saving it, but if it could be done, I'm game to try.

Couple things. We're both employees at the same company. She's basically an intern, I'm an actual employee and therefore "above" her in the rankings. Her last day is tomorrow. Is it possible to maybe hint that I didn't "go for it" or only mildly escalated the situation for this reason, but tomorrow would be fair game? Again, I totally concede that this is a hail Mary. Opinions? Best way to approach if anyone says go for it?

She did send me an e-mail regarding something we had talked about earlier. So she's not totally ignoring me or anything. She came into my office to chat about it, but only for a bit and it didn't seem flirty or anything.

 

[Iceberg]

I really think she could have just been looking for a "friend," i.e. someone to use, from day one. Maybe I'm just being cynical.

Maybe. Then again, the few chick "friends" I have usually don't have me go out for drinks or dinner alone with them. And then offer to cook for me. Well I definitely have one female friend that I can have beer with. But cooking dinner for you? Nah. That's not normal friendliness. That was her saying, "I'm a woman. I cook. You're a man. You initiate sex."

I know it's a long shot but any chance of salvaging this one?

Probably not.

Is it possible to maybe hint that I didn't "go for it" or only mildly escalated the situation for this reason, but tomorrow would be fair game?

Eh. No. Sounds like you're making excuses for yourself. "Let's both take this moment to acknowledge that I didn't pull the trigger on the kinky sex you were begging for. Now that we've gotten that out of the way....are you wet?"

I'm gonna wager that the "non-sexual touching" you pulled at her house on Sunday was the awkward kind. Like, my buddy from work I hung out with last week...we meet this girl he likes, and his form of flirting with her was elbowing her...patting her on the shoulder....oh and the "something's on your shirt" nose-grab. Completely non sexual and childlike. Maybe that's not you...but that's my most recent example of a guy trying to be touchy...and failing.

In the future, you have a girl cooking for you, come up to the stove and whip out a shoulder rub or something. Slap her butt with a kitchen towel. Do something that shows that you're different from the 40 other men she knows. You stand out because you're the sexual one.

I'd say that the book is closed on this one. But seems like you're gonna try anyway. Hope it works for ya.

 

[Michajo]

Good post Iceberg, and points well taken. You're right, I probably am going to go for it. I figure at this point, what the ****, right? I think I can come up with something that has a chance but I can still escape with my dignity if I crash and burn.

With respect to the employee-subordinate situation, I know your quote was purposefully facetious in order to make a point, and you're right, ultimately it is an excuse, but still I think something subtle in this area could maybe get me a little traction. I don't know. I guess I'm just kind of thinking aloud.

I'll let you guys know how it goes, however, if anyone has any ideas, I'm all ears.