Originally posted by violator
Congrats, Bungo Pony. But as one who has already taken the plunge and regretted it, ask yourself this. Am I 100% sure that I want to go through with this? Not 99.9%, but 100%?
If not, DO NOT DO IT!
I do not know how old you are, but I suspect that I am older and a bit wiser when it comes to marriage. 10 years ago I thought I was doing the right thing by marrying my current ex-wife. I was not completely sold to the idea and probably not even in love, but I convinced myself that I can grow to love her and to become a good husband and have a family as normal people do. But, then again I was an AFC who did not have the werewithal to think for myself and pretty much influenced by people who thought marriage to this girl was inevitable and unavoidable.
You see I had been seeing this girl for 7 years before getting married. She was the one who made the plans and made me believe that it was inevitable that we would end up being married.
The only problem was that deep inside I knew I was not in love with her and that I did not want to go through with it, but I did not have the balls to say no.
Now that I am single again, I can truly say that I am happy, much more happy now than when I was married. She was a good wife, faithful and everything, but I always felt something missing. And the one good thing that the union gave me was a beautiful son who I wish could have had the benefit of a family with mother and father together. But, unfortunately that is not the case. Things just did not work out.
And divorce and separation is a financially and emotionally taxing experience. It is something you do not want to go through. So please think things very carefully before taking that route.
I second that... my ex and I dated for 6 years before we got married. 6 years later, divorced. I can honestly say, at 32, the divorce couldn't happen at a better time for me. I wasn't a young blood anymore, but I ain't close to being old either. Just like Violator, right now, I couldn't be happier with my 'new' relationship. So why drag marriage into it you know? My life style is still a total clusterf*ck, so why drag anyone else into it.
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...honestly, I think marriage is so over-rated these days. I would much rather put a Cheerio on her finger, and live the family lifestyle without the paper work that makes it 'official'. She'll still call me husband, I'll call her wife, and the child will call us Mom and Dad.
How's that old saying go? 'First you hear the wedding bells, THEN you wake up.'
Then there's the old... 'It starts out with a wedding ring.. then it ends with suffering.'
Seriously folks...
"A Man is incomplete until he is married.. then he's finished."
"If you afraid of loneliness, do not marry."
A wise man once said, "I never knew what happiness was until I got married, by then it was too late." <--- I like that one.
"Marriage is like putting your hand into a bag of snakes in the hope of pulling out an eel." -Leonardo da Vinci
"Marriage is a mistake every man should make. "
I've got a million of 'em!
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