Originally posted by TheShadow
It seems like I'm in your boat then... perhaps even worse. I IMed her online a few times since then and she's either slow to respond or doesn't at all.
What's the best move now? I'm guessing I should ignore her and let her come to me; If she doesn't, that's the end of that.
I remember when we decided not to date anymore, I verbally told her that I was going to leave the "friends with benefits" route open, and she didn't immediately say no, rather she said she'll consider it, but she also thought it was wrong. That's the problem I faced.
She was totally held back by her morals, even though they were essentially shot the minute we hooked up after she explicitly told me it wasn't going to happen. Apparently this happened before with her and another guy, and she cut off all contact. Girls like this tend to be a little immature. They want to come off as good girls and to do this they have to resist temptation to do stuff like this. It's like a totaly inner turmoil going on.
Anyways, I haven't done the IM thing for a while, but I can only imagine how much easier you're making it for her to ignore you that way. You'll be more effective if you see each other. At the same time, you might as well keep her as a friend if you are on good terms with her and just go after other women.
The way I see it is that if you two have already done it, and you're on good terms, that's a recipe for a possible repeat performance in the future, since the cat has already been let out of the bag, so to speak.