We have sex but she rarely initates contact

[SW15]

That’s a limiting belief. I been doing this for years. It’s ripped straight from Doc Love. If they forget you in a week they’re either too structured, too power mad to pick up the damn phone and call you, or they aren’t interested. My current lead plate im two months in, have laid her on three dates so far. I’ve called her only one time, to organize the 2nd date. She’s initiated contact ever since.

Doc Love was saying that in the 1990s/early 2000s, before social media and swipe apps provided so much stimulation and validation for them. How would that work today when women have so many more options?

 

[EyeBRollin]

Doc Love was saying that in the 1990s/early 2000s, before social media and swipe apps provided so much stimulation and validation for them. How would that work today when women have so many more options?

He was saying that up until his death this summer. It still works

 

[Pm856]

I don’t see a problem. Some women are more agreeable than assertive.

I had one that would just start a text conversation with me. I knew what that meant.
It meant “can I come over and surrender to you and have you ravage me?”

The more feminine she is the less likely she is to be as forward. She will just be there. Or near you. Want to be around you.
There is a lot of stuff out there that is highly demographically orientated. I imagine that this AMS guy is also correct. To project it as an absolute is intellectually dishonest. Cultures and other things are mixed in with it.

I’m pretty sure that “masculinized” women are more assertive. If you want that programmed type then go for it. Sex is what you wanted wasn’t it?

There are plenty of women that are very subtle with their cues. This is actually good for me. I will act. They feel the same thing as the sexually aggressive women and may even want to be more aggressive but they want the interaction and mentally massaging game of play. It’s not just the sex, there’s the ambiguity of who’s the cat and who’s the mouse. This is called play.

Sometimes the woman who won’t initiate is really the cat disguising herself as the mouse. By NOT being assertive her mind and intimate thoughts power up. I find sexually assertive women from the start are actually chasing a feeling that was lost a long time ago with cvck number 20.

The play intensifies the game. This is a game that some men will get and others won’t. It’s massively foreplay in its application.

Now if you initiate and she rejects for whatever reason, then yes, all the above posts may apply. She is giving herself to you?

It sounds like a hidden standard. The hidden standard is...”if she doesn’t jump all over me, then she really doesn’t validate me with her amazingly overwhelming desire”

This is all about your validation and being accepted by her as the major “alpha” male. This might be why she doesn’t initiate at times. Or at least how you want her to. This is really about you and the search to have that hidden standard blossom before you. That’s the wrong model and paradigm. She will never initiate with your hidden standard. She can feel it, even though she doesn’t know why or how.

“As long as you use this stuff from AMS as a hidden standard, you will have to have a huge paradigm shift that is far in the future. When or if you do get it...you won’t even want her anymore. You’ve eliminated theforeplay of play.”

She writes and i respond and then she disappears again for hours. Its like she is testing me. I have passed all her other tests up until sex was done. I want this chic i realize more and more. I hate this back and forth playing. I could ask her to meet up now and she would probably agree. But it would be just sexual. Im not into that long term.

 

[deadmasterx]

She contacted me yesterday. And then i answered a couple of hours later. She hasnt answered yet. I know she is like this usually, even when we werent dating. She even said she is worthless with phones. But i can also tell its not 100 percent true since i see her online without answering me. Flaky, but i have to be more detached. She is just a symptom of something in me.

Alright, but keep in your mind that if a girl is close to you, don't chit chat too much on your phone. It's better if you use it just to set up dates (and let her come and talk to you if she wants to chit chat, but don't give yourself too much, some 30 minutes of chit chat is enough, make sure to limit it) so you can go out with her. The time between the day you set up the date and when the date will happen it's when some anticipation is gonna be built. It's better if she come there with lots of things to talk than you two talking on the phone making it boring with little to no thing to be said when you get together.

 

[Pm856]

She has no real desire for you.
Dump her and move on...
You cannot force real desire and when she doesn't feel that for you then she will never initiate sexual contact with you. Instead she is craving for Peter in accounting and doing him, but not you.
So why do you want to waste more time on it?

Keep her as friend zone case and use her to find new plates, as a female wingman friend etc. That's it in my opinion.
But I would not spend time to have her as FWB when she obviously not doesn't crave for you..

I am already ****ing her.

 

[EyeBRollin]

She writes and i respond and then she disappears again for hours. Its like she is testing me. I have passed all her other tests up until sex was done. I want this chic i realize more and more. I hate this back and forth playing. I could ask her to meet up now and she would probably agree. But it would be just sexual. Im not into that long term.

You care more than she does. Back off. Create some space to raise her interest level.

 

[Pm856]

You care more than she does. Back off. Create some space to raise her interest level.

Yeah im doing it now. She has to initiate and set a date now. Im trying to not care anymore

 

[EyeBRollin]

Yeah im doing it now. She has to initiate and set a date now. Im trying to not care anymore

Did not you set a date in your last message?

 

[metalwater]

Yeah im doing it now. She has to initiate and set a date now. Im trying to not care anymore

not going to work. she is going to do as she wants. she might accommodate some requests for you but in the end, she will do what she wants to do. if what she wants to do is not how you like it, be available to others that will.

if a woman really chooses you, you will have no questions about it. or your questions will be how to manage a woman that is not giving you enough space.

she is FWB, and sounds like a good one for that position. she will let you know if she wants more. she sounds like a decent friend to you and even lets you sex with her. that's a good friend. be a good friend back and reciprocate, but don't punish her for just wanting to be a FWB.

 

[BadBoy89]

if i wait that long with ANY woman shes gonna be pissed off or gone. I had one chick recently, banged her first date, she initiated it. I wasnt gonna do her cause i wasnt that attracted to her but when i started to leave she jumped up and kissed me so we ended up doing it. I wasnt into her so i never contacted her afterwards and she never reached out either. I know she was into me and im sure if i had contacted her again she'd of been happy to see me. Another chick i was seeing left my place, i didnt text her for 3 days afterwards and she finally texted me saying she doesnt ghost people and broke up with me. So i dont see how waiting 5-9 days is gonna do anything but make them think you're not interested in them. 2-4 days after 2 months together shes gonna be mad.
I don't know how in the heck you pull that sh*t off but i know i couldnt and keep a woman around long

I don’t get it either.

Right now, if an older woman contacted me via text or call, I respond back within the hour or pick up the phone. If a younger woman contacted me via text or call, I respond back within NINE SECONDS.

I may be bias because I hate Doc Love, I think one of the WORST pieces of advice I received in my 20s was waiting to call, acting busy or important or whatever. It is pointless and will mess men up. If a girl calls you, ANSWER.

Saying that, one thing I am very careful doing is INITIATING with girls. That is where you have to careful. With a girl I like, cut it down to once a week. A girl lukewarm about, once maybe every 2-3 months.

Be aggressive when THEY initiate, but rarely initiate. It’s a balancing act.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

She's not into you. The other guys are giving details to it, but that is simply it. I've been with women who show interest vs those who don't. A girl really wants you when she's clinging to you and doing other annoying things that interrupts what I may be doing at the present moment. Any guy that goes over to kiss his girl randomly is a chump. I will always call him that. You need to get to the point where she has to do everything to you and you get annoyed by it. That is how I always think of my girl contacts.

Truth...just learned that lesson from a woman I date for 5 months...I have no idea why women date guys they aren't all that into for that length of time.

 

[Pm856]

Then you have now, what it will ever be. Accept it. She’s not exclusive to you. She’s a sex partner. She is spinning plates. Thats what women do. You are a plate. Get use to it.

True. Sexual and Good friends usually creates emotions. But im.backing off.

Did not you set a date in your last message?

I did, we met up and then two days later she contacted me to show some pictures she likes. Then some small talk and then she disappeared again. Its tiring.

 

[EyeBRollin]

I don’t get it either.

I may be bias because I hate Doc Love, I think one of the WORST pieces of advice I received in my 20s was waiting to call, acting busy or important or whatever. It is pointless and will mess men up. If a girl calls you, ANSWER.

Don’t bring Doc Love into this if you’re going to misquote his material. Never in the system does it say ignore or play around with incoming contact from a girl. On the contrary...

 

[HaleyBaron]

Truth...just learned that lesson from a woman I date for 5 months...I have no idea why women date guys they aren't all that into for that length of time.

They do it cause it still fulfills a certain attention seeking endorphin release for them. I cannot imagine it myself cause I am annoyed by women who want to spend lots of time with me. Mostly cause I have better things to do. With only twelve to fifteen waking hours a day to do anything, time is precious to me. Women can easily eat like eight of that.

 

[King Lion]

If you like her - Then act like it ffs!

Y'all keep playing these stupid mind games - Do you think females are completely stupid?

This sh*t would be almost funny if it weren't so pathetic...You want her to fuss over and call you?!?!

Make a woman feel desired and if she feels it - you will have your way with her!

But instead you want sit around twiddling your thumbs waiting for an invite to be delivered to you on a silver platter as if you are some little princess...smh

What kind of manly challenge is that to a woman?

Who's wearing the pants?!?!

 

[Pm856]

Ok, this is a flaky weirdness going on. She contacted me again today (two days after the last time) and she was going to a mall with a carpet and asked me if i want to join. I answered a bit later and told her i was busy (i was busy between her text and mine) and no response from her now. She didnt even check the message. Is she playing or had other people helping her with it? I mean she actually kept in touch two times in four days...

 

[Lookatu]

Ok, this is a flaky weirdness going on. She contacted me again today (two days after the last time) and she was going to a mall with a carpet and asked me if i want to join. I answered a bit later and told her i was busy (i was busy between her text and mine) and no response from her now. She didnt even check the message. Is she playing or had other people helping her with it? I mean she actually kept in touch two times in four days...

Sounds like she's playing games. I would move on if I were you. No girl should place that amount of stress or anxiety in your life. Not worth it. If I stuck to girls like that, I'm sure I'd actually look 49yo by now.

 

[BadBoy89]

Don’t bring Doc Love into this if you’re going to misquote his material. Never in the system does it say ignore or play around with incoming contact from a girl. On the contrary...

‘Doc, I met a girl, she is young and hot and we had a great first date on Feb 1. We kissed at the end and I would love to see her again. Id like to call her again.“
”OK you can call her.”
”Should I call Feb 2?” No
”Should I call Feb 3?” No
”Should I call Feb 4?“ No
”Should I call Feb 5?” No
“Should I call Feb 6?” No
”Should I call Feb 7?“ No
”Should I call Feb 8?” No
”Should I call Feb 9?” No
”Should I call Feb 10?” No
”Well Doc, when do I call her?”
”Call her Feb 11. Remember, in order for you to be CHALLENGE, you have to wait 9 FULL DAYS before you call a hot young girl who is in demand by society.”
”Well Doc, won’t she lose feelings/interest/meet a taller more handsome guy in those 9 days?”
”No, no. As long as you are a CHALLENGE. This hot young girl who millionaires and billionaires are always a looking for won’t forget you.”
”Got it, thanks Doc. Love your material.”

Give me a break.

 

[EyeBRollin]

‘Doc, I met a girl, she is young and hot and we had a great first date on Feb 1. We kissed at the end and I would love to see her again. Id like to call her again.“
”OK you can call her.”
”Should I call Feb 2?” No
”Should I call Feb 3?” No
”Should I call Feb 4?“ No
”Should I call Feb 5?” No
“Should I call Feb 6?” No
”Should I call Feb 7?“ No
”Should I call Feb 8?” No
”Should I call Feb 9?” No
”Should I call Feb 10?” No
”Well Doc, when do I call her?”
”Call her Feb 11. Remember, in order for you to be CHALLENGE, you have to wait 9 FULL DAYS before you call a hot young girl who is in demand by society.”
”Well Doc, won’t she lose feelings/interest/meet a taller more handsome guy in those 9 days?”
”No, no. As long as you are a CHALLENGE. This hot young girl who millionaires and billionaires are always a looking for won’t forget you.”
”Got it, thanks Doc. Love your material.”

Give me a break.

That’s what we call a strawman argument. The concept of challenge comes from interviewing thousands of women over decades and why the ended up with their current partner. Challenge was a common theme. Women value men they had to work for.

The actual correct play is to wait 5-9 days. Nine days is acceptable to accommodate for weekends (since you don’t call on Friday or Saturday). If the girl has interest level, the space has a positive effect on her feelings. It’s counterintuitive to people with limited game that scarcity increases value. This is true and always will be true.

 

[FuzzX]

Hey fellow Djs

As the title says. How to deal with a girl who is also a good friend that you have sex with and you like but rarely initiates contact? (Like: almost never), but always make herself available when you ask for a date. I hate overpursuing even though i get what i want.

Sounds like a garbage relationship. Good quality girls don't fvck their friends.