We have a traitor in our midst . . .

[HOMBRE]

:crackup:

Everyone posts here to learn but it's also for fun. The thing at loveshack was to teach, and also have fun.

Lighten up everyone.

I'm as light as a feather. But enlighten some of us here. What exactly did you teach again?

 

[The tin man]

I gotta say: I think your "raid" was carried out poorly, hastily and without taste, but I can't really disagree with anything that has been posted. I didn't even get a chance to read much of it, Maybe the "panty-raiding" assumptions are correct, but I've seen evidence that's not entirely the case. At least enough to get me registered. I think most of the negative response you received was due to feeling "attacked" rather than "informed".

I'm also a newbie from LS and I couldn't agree more.

It's been interesting to follow events on both threads as they unfold. There seems to be mostly miscommunication between the sites, and a lot of backlash. Plus, while some of you expressed yourselves really well, please take the time to also focus on how you can get your points across better in the future. A lot of it felt more like cult-like propaganda then information to me. Your point was precisely to win a war, not to communicate. I myself am more of a fan of communication, seeing as that's my career.

I'm sure this 'war' you waged will have the result of keeping the conversation going between both sites.

 

[frivolousz21]

Ok, I was referring just as much to Frivolous. What do 'Real Men' do for a laugh then?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WqBjbM1f9ZQ



http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nF4STGmM-HU

 

[reset]

I'm as light as a feather. But enlighten some of us here. What exactly did you teach again?

Well I think I'm teaching you that being in a relationship for five years is not in itself an achievement.

That's probably one of the big themes on this site. Men grow up thinking being in a LTR in itself is a goal. Nothing wrong with being in a LTR, but it helps to be in it with the proper person.

So many guys will latch onto some girl and just hold on for dear life to say they have a "girlfriend". It can be destructive. Better to wait until you've found the right person. By your logic, everyone should have found the right person by 30, to meet your requirements of a 5 year LTR at 35.

Thing is most guys don't even start taking themselves or their lives all that seriously until they get a little older.

 

[The tin man]

Well I think I'm teaching you that being in a relationship for five years is not in itself an achievement.

That's probably one of the big themes on this site. Men grow up thinking being in a LTR in itself is a goal. Nothing wrong with being in a LTR, but it helps to be in it with the proper person.

So many guys will latch onto some girl and just hold on for dear life to say they have a "girlfriend". It can be destructive. Better to wait until you've found the right person. By your logic, everyone should have found the right person by 30, to meet your requirements of a 5 year LTR at 35.

Thing is most guys don't even start taking themselves or their lives all that seriously until they get a little older.

I just don't see how this advice is gender specific. Women do this too and could benefit from the same advice.

 

[HOMBRE]

Well I think I'm teaching you that being in a relationship for five years is not in itself an achievement.

That's probably one of the big themes on this site. Men grow up thinking being in a LTR in itself is a goal. Nothing wrong with being in a LTR, but it helps to be in it with the proper person.

So many guys will latch onto some girl and just hold on for dear life to say they have a "girlfriend". It can be destructive. Better to wait until you've found the right person. By your logic, everyone should have found the right person by 30, to meet your requirements of a 5 year LTR at 35.

Thing is most guys don't even start taking themselves or their lives all that seriously until they get a little older.

I actually agree with most of that. The age and 5 year thing is not set in stone though really. It's more of a general guideline.

I guess everyone should remain open and not make such blanket statements. That's what I've learned.

 

[Phyzzle]

I just checked out those Loveshack forums . . . I don't see what's so bad about them! What advice are they giving that really goes against what we say here?

Q: "My girlfriend says she needs space, just a break to think for a while."

A: "It's over. Move on. She's probably seeing someone else already."

Even the women posters have that steely-eyed realism. It's really not THAT horrible there, guys. Can any of you find a thread there with significant amounts of flat-out bad advice?

 

[Burrito Supreme]

I just don't see how this advice is gender specific. Women do this too and could benefit from the same advice.

Good advice tan man.

 

[bigjohnson]

I actually agree with most of that. The age and 5 year thing is not set in stone though really. It's more of a general guideline.

I guess everyone should remain open and not make such blanket statements. That's what I've learned.

Keep being reasonable like that and I will begin to view you as a real person. This is your final warning.

 

[DavenJuan]

I just don't see how this advice is gender specific. Women do this too and could benefit from the same advice.

thats just it. the advice that bleeds through these forum walls ARENT gender specific when you look at the message not the words.

however, it is men mostly that we are trying to educate as well as learn from since that is WHAT we are.. MEN.

i greatly appreciate the female advice given on this forum from time to time, entertainment purposes mostly..

but unfortunately most of the advice gven cant really be taken to seriously, (depending the source) since most of what women THINK they feel on a given topic isnt necessarliy how she would feel emotionally. words and actions play different roles.

 

[The tin man]

thats just it. the advice that bleeds through these forum walls ARENT gender specific when you look at the message not the words.

however, it is men mostly that we are trying to educate as well as learn from since that is WHAT we are.. MEN.

i greatly appreciate the female advice given on this forum from time to time, entertainment purposes mostly..

but unfortunately most of the advice gven cant really be taken to seriously, (depending the source) since most of what women THINK they feel on a given topic isnt necessarliy how she would feel emotionally. words and actions play different roles.

Ok, that makes sense. The one thing I do find interesting about LS is that women do talk about their own problems, and are usually genuine about how they feel. I have learned a lot from them and I am thankful for that. Women are no longer so mysterious to me.

 

[DavenJuan]

I actually agree with most of that. The age and 5 year thing is not set in stone though really. It's more of a general guideline.

I guess everyone should remain open and not make such blanket statements. That's what I've learned.

i think i am missing the boat on this whole 5 yr LTR " in general".

plenty of men/women have plenty of experience and success that havent been in such a "dilemna" ( i kid i kid )

in my own experiences, i have been in 2 4-5 yr LTRs and THAT in itself has hendered my growth in many different ways for the longest time.

i spent so much time in a relationship that i didnt have time to find myself.

 

[reset]

The age and 5 year thing is not set in stone though really. It's more of a general guideline.

Right, a guideline, but where does the guideline come from? This is what I'm talking about. Many people think there is something wrong with them if they haven't found that right person, maybe they need to do some inner work, whatever, that's fine... but to say they are somehow defective, because they haven't been in a LTR by a certain age... all that does is reinforce their own negativity and their own negative self-image, and then it becomes a self-fulfiling prophecy.

"I haven't had a LTR I'm no good" <----so why bother?

What this site talks about, at least this part (mature man) is that there IS more to life than relationships and you can have a good life, in OR out of a relationship, and feel good about yourself, at the same time.

So it's my belief that being in a LTR, in itself, is a misguided goal. Too many guys think that is going to answer their questions in life and that they will be "successful", because everyone can see they have a partner. So in order to get that acceptance, they may choose partners who are ill-suited, or rush into something just to say they did it. Just so they can fit in.

Pretty much sums up my take on this.

 

[reset]

Ok, that makes sense. The one thing I do find interesting about LS is that women do talk about their own problems, and are usually genuine about how they feel. I have learned a lot from them and I am thankful for that. Women are no longer so mysterious to me.

Only thing is, often times what they say they want, and what they actually respond to, are different things. (this could be said of men as well).

So many women say they want the afc nice guy, or at least parts of that... but when they GET that, they aren't attracted TO it. And they end up hooking up with guys who know what they are doing and know how to push their buttons. That's the real dance.

 

[DavenJuan]

Ok, that makes sense. The one thing I do find interesting about LS is that women do talk about their own problems, and are usually genuine about how they feel. I have learned a lot from them and I am thankful for that. Women are no longer so mysterious to me.

this is one of many things that i have found to be true from being on this forum for several years..

when i say words vs. actions play different roles, i say it with the conviction that women usually are 'GENIUNE" ABOUT HOW THE FEEL when they tell you certain things. however the catch is, some women THINK and SAY they feel a certain way with that same conviction, however their ACTIONS speak differently.

i could give you several examples but i dont think i have to. just think back to past experiences with women. those SAME EXPERIENCES that made you believe women were so mysterious.

im speaking to you with the assumpton that you are a male. and if that is the case, the BIG difference that i think these to forums have is

LS is giving you a womens perspective. things they THINK will help. with 100 percent conviction they will tell you this is how i would handle this. but with certainty i can tell you some will ACT differently.

HAVE YOU EVER HAD A WOMEN SAY ONE THING AND DO SOMETHING DIFFERENT? Perfect example is the AFC nice guy that ALL women tell you they want. if that is the case... WHY ARENT MOST nice guys taken??

SS is opening you up from wasting such time and energy on ONE focus which is women. the focus is YOU. work on yourself, become a better man. FIND YOURSELF and the rest will follow.

 

[reset]

i say it with the conviction that women usually are 'GENIUNE" ABOUT HOW THE FEEL when they tell you certain things. however the catch is, some women THINK and SAY they feel a certain way with that same conviction, however their ACTIONS speak differently.

I agree with this. In the moment when they are saying whatever, yes they truly believe and stand by it. Till the guy who pushes all their buttons comes along.

 

[The tin man]

Absolutely true, words and actions need to match, but don't always do.

My thing is, I have no time to waste with women who are headcases. I like strong confident women, and that's who I date. They flake or play games? I have no time to waste on them.

I hope this board will help me improve my game with the type of women I am attracted too.

 

[Nighthawk]

Welcome new members to our hot-bed of woman-bashing and gender-hate.

One of the Loveshack cliche's I touched on before is that even now they are discussing this site as sad because it supposedly encourages men to think sexual conquests are the measure of a man (although it doesn't). Yet what was the first weapon the women there used against the 'invaders'? That they were sexually inexperienced, or hadn't had a LTR.

This hypocrisy carries itself over into the real world, and is why it's bad news listening to too much women's advice. Do they ever say 'I want a man who has slept with lots of other women?' Of course not. But in reality this is a hugely important factor - they want what's hot, what's popular. Men are more honest about wanting the most popular/hottest woman, and often get shamed as shallow or creepy as a result - see Loveshack for more of this.

What's really damaging about Loveshack advice is that they will keep encouraging the 'sweet' guys to keep looking for Miss Right, she's out there somewhere, forget all those hot girls going with the 'jerks' they have low self-esteem and aren't for you... and the years go by and the men get bitter. And bitterness can scar for good, and is not attractive.

As I hope you new members can see, and as opposed to what some on LS would have you believe, this place is not full of misogynists looking for women to abuse, and can really help you become the sort of cool, decent, strong yet ****y and playful man that women go crazy for.

So feel free to have a good look around. The DJ Bible is a good read, it's linked at the bottom of the page. Cheers.