We broke up but I think I can get her back.

Raptor

Don Juan
Joined
Dec 13, 2004
Messages
11
Reaction score
0
Age
38
Before you all start busting on me why I want her back its something I can't explain. In short this is what happened.....We dated for about one month. Things started off really good I got her by being C&F around her at work. Well the first couple of dates were good.....really good. Christmas eve came around and we exchanged gifts she wrote me a card telling me how she had fallen for me so bad and that I was one in a million. We kissed that night for our first time and it was amazing.

About 4 days go by and she says that she wants her space. This is where I made a mistake and believe that I entered the "wuss" zone. I really did not give it to her. So about a week goes by and we meet and she tells me she doesn't think that this is going to work and she does not feel "chemistry" anymore. I told her how I felt about her and that I was pretty upset because I couldnt possibly figure out how her feelings for me could have changed in a matter of days. Get this: "The day before we broke up she sent me a text from a party when she was semi drunk say: I love you and I want to have sex with you." I always thought the mind spole the truth when drunk. She told me she wanted to be friends and I told her I would give it a try but I think it is going to be hard.

So the last couple of days I figured I would not initiate any conversation with her. She has started all conversations the last 2 or 3 days. When we are talking I am always nice to her and helping her. But again I have started busting on her for little things she says that don't make sence. Yesterday she texted my phone 13 times....she hasnt done that at all other than when we were dating. Last night I did sent her one text which was in an effort to make her remeber the good times we had. But it was in a subtle way: "I said I'm in ____ and we are lost again."(Her and I got lost in the city and she told me it was the most fun ever) When I got home I signed on AIM and she sent me another text. This time I busted on her a little more and I could tell I was making her mad. Then I lightened it a little and she said I was on her good side again. She then sent me about 5 pictures of herself out of the blue for really no reason. I think I got her chasing me again and I'm not sure what to do or say to her. Any advice on this situation? Usually I don't chase after ex's but she is different so please don't tell me not too I just want advice on how to get her back.
 

Raptor

Don Juan
Joined
Dec 13, 2004
Messages
11
Reaction score
0
Age
38
alright maybe I worded that a little wrong. I'm open for advice on any level but without having first hand expierence its hard to explain why I want her back. Like I said I usually dont chase after ex's but something feels different and my gut is telling me I should. Take that for whatever you think it is worth.
 

whistler

Master Don Juan
Joined
Dec 4, 2004
Messages
633
Reaction score
5
Location
New York
She's flaking and being immature. If you really want a relationship with her, you need to be an adult and make it clear that her being immature and fvcking around is beneath you.

As she plays with you and has fun, the process will also make you less and less desirable to her. Not taking control will make you worthless to her and ruin any long-term potential.

I know you're hooked on her. That makes handling this all the more difficult. But, from experience, I would just drop her, even if she's a model.

Good luck.
 

Raptor

Don Juan
Joined
Dec 13, 2004
Messages
11
Reaction score
0
Age
38
After reading some articles I think I know what I am going to do.
1.) First thing I read stated how many relationships involve a breakup of some sorts or another.
2.) Read another article about how to get past the being friends part of it and put it back in her court. She used to have me by the balls and I realize now she doesnt.

This is my plan: I'm going to give it another week or so and see what happens and she may change her mind on her own. If things dont develop I'm going to say something like: "I can't do this friend thing anymore. I can't be a friend without being close to you you might not see the difference but I do. Give me a call when you are ready and hopefully I will be too." I hope I didn't screw too much up by telling her how I felt but..... who knows. If she comes back great if she doesn't it was a good learning experience and I had fun while I was with her. Now the ball will be back in her court and she will have to make the choice. She will see I don't need her to continue and again the chase might start. I think she already has started it again :/
 

TizZle

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Nov 12, 2004
Messages
434
Reaction score
6
Originally posted by Desdinova
Humans naturally want the things they can't have: money, women, bigger d1cks, etc.
You can have all those things... But it takes some time.
 

dearsappho

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Oct 13, 2004
Messages
313
Reaction score
1
Location
Happy Hunting Grounds
The important thing is YOU have made a choice...stick to that choice no matter what.
Even though you let her have control you can still become empowered by sticking to your choice.
 

Raptor

Don Juan
Joined
Dec 13, 2004
Messages
11
Reaction score
0
Age
38
Originally posted by dearsappho
The important thing is YOU have made a choice...stick to that choice no matter what.
Even though you let her have control you can still become empowered by sticking to your choice.
Could anyone elaborate what he means here?
 

abcd_z

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Jun 28, 2003
Messages
305
Reaction score
8
Location
Oslo, Norway
Geez. I hate to sound rude, but get over her. I'm sure you haven't realized this yet, but your problem started *before* she said she "needed some space". That should have been your first clue that something was wrong, right off the bat.

Having said that, there's little chance you have of regaining the relationship. The very same patterns of behavior that drove her off in the first place will make it impossible to get back together. The only thing that will happen is you'll waste time and effort, and alienate her even more. There's a solution to this, and, ironically enough, it's not from this site.

Ready for it? Here it is.

GFTOW.

Short for "Go F*ck Ten Other Women."

Crude? Yes. Sexist? Quite possibly. But still an incredibly important concept for you to understand.

Now, I'm almost positive that you (being the DJ that you are) have never heard that acronym before. So, in order to make things as simple as possible for you, here's a link with the important info.
http://www.fastseduction.com/asf-faq.shtml#q001
Check out the first three questions. Hell, read all of it if you're interested. I honestly don't think you will, seeing as how you're still stuck with oneitis, and therefore unlikely to look beyond what you want to hear. Still, you never know.

Good luck.

You'll need it.
 
Top