we been dating for 2 months... what's next?

[pipe007]

hey guys
I am in a situation here. I am dating this girl who is 27 just like me. She is fun and we get along pretty well. she is always making plans with me and wants to hang out, and we have this interaction like we are exclusive

she has told me that she is not seeing anyone else, and she has asked me and I've said no. (which is true, I like to focus on one girl at a time and see where things go, that's just me

the only reason why I keep seeing her is because she is putting effort in seeing me, wanting to go out, she also pays for some days and likes equality in the dates...

none of us has mentioned the idea of getting serious yet. She did mentioned that she likes to take things slow and enjoy the process of getting to know each other,and I nodded as in I think the same way....

however, I am well experienced, and I can usually tell when a girl wants to take things into a serious relatiosnhip.. but this girl is not mentioning that, and I'm thinking is there a way to bring up the topic, and discuss it maturely as to if she is really looking for a relationship or wants one, or just wants to date casually?

Like Im thinking of just talking about it with no pressure just to understand her thinking about the whole topic, and what her desire is. Also so that I can back down and not give her as much thought if she tells me that she is really not looking for a relationship...

what is your opinion on this? we been going out for almost 2 months and talking for 3.. I think we know each other pretty well, and at this point every sane person should have an "idea" of where things may go... specially women? would I look like a puss and lose her if I bring this up like mature adult?

I just think that at 27, we are both adults, and if a girl is just looking to play around, then I just next her because that is not what I want. I am looking for a relationship and a girl who knows what she wants. I mean this, of course I wanna talk to her about this in general and tell her that Im not asking her to be exclusive, that's not what I want, but I wanna get to know her and how she views relationships in her life.

when dating a girl you guys like, how long do you guys wait, how many months, before you decide... Ok she is not saying anything, im going to withdraw, or, I'm going to do something about it and ask?

real talk here, I think nexting because she doesnt bring up the topic is childish in the context of 2 adults willingly dating each other and getting to know each other continuously for 3 months... maybe sometimes its the man's job to step up and take it the direction he wants, and get an answer for himself as to whether she wants to be with you or not?

 

[DonJuanabe]

What does it mean to get serious? Have you had sex with her?

If you have then I wouldn't say anything or do anything differently. Sex + exclusivity + high interest = go with the flow things are good. Don't force her to verbalize how she feels - let her actions show you how she feels.

If you have not had sex with her after two months then there is a problem, IMO. Talking about it will make her feel pressured. I would be more aggressive next time you see her and seal the deal. If she resists then I'd start spinning plates.

 

[pipe007]

Important info

She has been putting resistance, but I advance more every time I see her, like literally every time is a step forward, last time we met last week, I fingered her...

its confusing, she seems to have an open mind, but seems conservative with sexual stuff, she doesnt talk much about sexual topics, but she gets turned on easily... when we make out ( a lot) kiss her neck she gets aroused a lot

but we havent had sex, I am very patient if I know the girl likes me, I dont rush it, and go with the flow, eventually all of them drop defenses and have sex like cray...

I've been patient in the past and eventually every girl ive dated has had sex at some point... not every girl has sex at first week of dating... and this one really seems to respect herself.

trust me I have game and I know how to turn a girl on in different ways, and still she takes her time...

 

[DonJuanabe]

I'm not doubting your game and I'm not saying a woman needs to seal the deal after one week. I'm wondering what psychological problem(s) she has...

 

[Jitterbug]

Well the answer for "what's next?" is obvious then: Sex.

You think you like her now, you may have a very different opinion on that after sex.

As for the "what are we?" business, that's her job to bring it up, not yours. Don't sweat it.

 

[SecondHalf]

Beware the chick who wants you to spend money first.
I was going out with one woman last year, was bursting at the seams with passion and curiosity, but had a personal rule ... first time had to be in a hotel, out of city. As in a few hundred dollar investment (saw the cash = sex pattern and never pursued).

Rereading your post before I post this ... if you want a relationship, then why not test the waters. Ask her out of the city, a road trip or something, where you spend some serious time together?

SH

 

[Desdinova]

Nice to see you posting again!

She did mentioned that she likes to take things slow and enjoy the process of getting to know each other,and I nodded as in I think the same way....

You should know that this is a woman's words and is a very typical statement that women give when their IL isn't sky-rocket high. She may very well enjoy dating you, but she's not convinced that you're Mr. Right.

I am well experienced, and I can usually tell when a girl wants to take things into a serious relatiosnhip.. but this girl is not mentioning that, and I'm thinking is there a way to bring up the topic, and discuss it maturely as to if she is really looking for a relationship or wants one, or just wants to date casually?

You're reading her correctly so there's no need to bring it up.

I have to ask, are YOU the one who's wanting the LTR with her?

when dating a girl you guys like, how long do you guys wait, how many months, before you decide... Ok she is not saying anything, im going to withdraw, or, I'm going to do something about it and ask?

She's always the one who brings it up. When the IL is there and she realizes that other women would kill to have a man like you, that's when she'll bring it up.

but we havent had sex, I am very patient if I know the girl likes me, I dont rush it, and go with the flow, eventually all of them drop defenses and have sex like cray...

Huh? Dude, are you fvcking serious? You know better!!!

Sex is how you cross over the border between friendship and dating. If she's resisting after you've been dating her for two months, it's time to drop her.

My rule-of-thumb is to fvck a woman by the 4th date. If that doesn't happen, then we're just friends and it's time to move on

 

[Scaramouche]

Dear Pipe,
Look if you can't do the dastardly deed after 2-3 Months forget her,she is a time waster....Her Libido is very low,it will just get lower as you up the ante...if you want a miserable Svex life then go ahead,you have been warned!

 

[pdx1138]

wow pipe...thats a really long time.

Even if casually dating you two should have done the deed after the 5 date...at most!

The "what's next....where is this going" usually gets asked by the girl after you've been doing it for 3 months.
You've been here long enough to know its up to the girl to bring that up.

Time to escalate in high gear and have your way with her...STAT!

If not, time to move on.

 

[st_99]

if you havn't had sex yet, you're not dating, you're just friends. imo.

i'd be willing to bet she has already boned someone in the 2 months you guys have been "dating"
notice she said she is not "seeing" anyone, doesn't mean she hasn't "boned" someone.

wake up man, unless this girl is a virgin, you're in total chump mode.

 

[DonJuanabe]

Why do men and women date, have a relationship, get married, whatever? What's the overarching reason? To f*ck. Honestly, that is the primary reason. Everyone knows it. If you're not f*cking after two months you need to get real about the situation.

 

[muscleman]

Important info

She has been putting resistance, but I advance more every time I see her, like literally every time is a step forward, last time we met last week, I fingered her...

its confusing, she seems to have an open mind, but seems conservative with sexual stuff, she doesnt talk much about sexual topics, but she gets turned on easily... when we make out ( a lot) kiss her neck she gets aroused a lot

but we havent had sex, I am very patient if I know the girl likes me, I dont rush it, and go with the flow, eventually all of them drop defenses and have sex like cray...

I've been patient in the past and eventually every girl ive dated has had sex at some point... not every girl has sex at first week of dating... and this one really seems to respect herself.

trust me I have game and I know how to turn a girl on in different ways, and still she takes her time...

Nothing to do with respect, everything to do with not taking you seriously. As if on cue, read today's post: http://heartiste.wordpress.com/2012/09/11/the-4-date-misrule/

 

[pipe007]

wow, thanks for putting things in perspective guys

but ok so for reals we have been going out month and half. Gone out around 5 6 times...

Ok so I have seen a pattern that every time we see each other we are escalating every time a bit more... reason why i'm not rushing cuz I know we are heading to sex soon... like I can tell

before its happened many times with several women in the past, and it always led to sex at the end.... some girls do like to take time... and they ended up having sex..

like this has been my experience? hard to believe that nobody else has experienced this, and if they dont put out during the first 4 dates, its game over, i dont think that is necessary true because we are escalating further more every single time...

anyway.. this saturday she wants to go out, and we will spend all day together since 5:00 pm and we will go out at night... my plan is to take it to the next level at night, I will escalate slowly, heat her up to the point of no return and then i she resists.... I'll know its time to distance myself from her...

but If that happens, and before I move on, at least I will bring this up to her and ask if she is uncomfortable or if something is going on... ill listen to her explanation and make a decision based on that...

like real life brothers a lot of gilrs do take their time to have sex... I have had possible 7 different girls who have had this pattern in the past... so this is not new to me...

my concern is that she is not expressing emotions as to how she feels for me and where she wants to take this... so I get a bit weird.. but I wont bring it up, i'll wait and keep dating and see if i can escalate more... if this doesnt happen... well there is always someone else

 

[Desdinova]

Ok so I have seen a pattern that every time we see each other we are escalating every time a bit more... reason why i'm not rushing cuz I know we are heading to sex soon... like I can tell

As soon as you can get your mouth on her, you can start escalating quickly. I usually have the girl warmed up enough for sex by date 3, but I always make them wait until date 4 just for the extra bit of suspense.

some girls do like to take time...

Waiting four dates IS taking your time. Fvcking on the first or second date isn't.

I'll know its time to distance myself from her...

but If that happens, and before I move on, at least I will bring this up to her and ask if she is uncomfortable or if something is going on... ill listen to her explanation and make a decision based on that...

If that were me, I'd just drive her ass home, dump her off, and move on. Talking about the lack of sex isn't sexy, and it doesn't help move things forward. You're likely to hit more road blocks and experience more delays if you talk about it.

Heavy foreplay IS sexy. You can take small steps toward sex, but take those steps on the same night. It doesn't take long for the woman to become comfortable with something. When you take steps toward sex, think of it as sneaking up on your prey. If you run toward it or sneak too slowly, your prey will fly away.

like real life brothers a lot of gilrs do take their time to have sex... I have had possible 7 different girls who have had this pattern in the past... so this is not new to me...

I likely have more who would prove you to be a liar

my concern is that she is not expressing emotions as to how she feels for me and where she wants to take this

Some women just aren't that verbally expressive about their emotions. You need to read her body language and actions to get your idea of where she stands emotionally. From the sound of it, she only has luke warm emotions for you. If you crank up the heat, you'll get her emotions boiling over the pot.

 

[pdx1138]

ya don't talk about it or seek an explanation from her.

that will kill any interest fast.

Show her a great time, then just go for it.