Dazedandconfused79
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- Aug 1, 2018
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- 45
Ok sorry but this is probably going to be wordy but need advice.
So I have a female friend( I am male). I really have no idea what her thoughts or intentions are and it’s driving me crazy. So it is a girl I work with that at first we didn’t really care for each other. We eventually became work friends and then started hanging out outside of work. We are both attached to others and the 4 of us started hanging out together.
She and I started making sexual jokes to each other and she’d even joke about if we pissed off our partners to the point of leaving we’d have to be married. I work at a warehouse so the sexual jokes for me were always in fun( constantly make sexual jokes to the guys and I’m not at all gay or bi lol). So it was no big deal, literally felt the same as one of the dudes.
So time goes on and we find out we both enjoy doing a certain narcotic recreationally now and again. We also know this wouldn’t fly with our partners at all!! So we would meet up alone and do it obviously our partners didn’t know or even knew we were together. This happened quite a few times. All the while just seeing her as a friend.
About 2 years ago the 4 of us went to Vegas and were at a dance club. I was dancing behind my wife and and my female friend was staring at me hard. She then whispered in my ear that our SOs weren’t cut out for Vegas and that her and I should go there without them sometime. I didn’t think too much of this as we were drinking and it was always just friendly occasions between us( besides the joking around stuff).
So about a year ago I noticed I started having feelings for her. We were all out for a party and I was standing sort of behind/beside her if that makes sense. I said something to her and just lightly caressed her arm with my thumb. No big deal right? But I caught myself, realizing that’s not something I’d do with her. So it kind of freaked me out( obviously our others didn’t see this). Anyhow, I know it caught her attention because she immediately turned to me and propped her leg up on the foot rest for the stool( we were both standing). I could tell she was trying to discretely get my attention as she was looking at me( I could see through my side vision as I was purposely didn’t look cause it weirded me out). After a few seconds of me not reacting she pointed to her leg and said something( I couldn’t hear her but I pretended like I did and did the smile and nod thing, she was wearing a skirt btw). So after awhile I started thinking about her a lot. Here’s the thing though, she’s very pretty girl, but I am not at all physically attracted to her. Not even a bit but I want to be around her( I think a walk on the beach holding her hand would be amazing!!) But absolutely don’t even think about her in a sexual way.
So I ended up telling her this( during one of our secret meet ups). I told her I like her a little more than I should seeing as how we are both married. I apologized and she asked why I’d apologize and I told her that’s it was weird. She then asked me why it was weird. Kind of trying to probe for more info Is the feeling I got. I told her I hope she didn’t want to not hang out with me because of it and that I would never cross a line with here as I would never cheat on my wife and I don’t believe she would on her husband. When she asked why it was weird I told her because it was ridiculous cuz we both know nothing could ever happen. We then kind of just moved on from the conversation.
Over the next few days we texted a lot talking about it and I was feeling guilty about even letting feelings for her arise. I told her I felt like a terrible husband for it. She would give positive feedback saying I wasn’t a terrible husband. After awhile she said it’s no big deal and that I was in the friend zone anyways( she said this with a lol). Since then we hung out alone multiple times and she recently started telling me how she’s not happy with her man anymore and that she doesn’t want sex with him( kind of odd convo). I recently told her I’d like to have my wife try the fun with us and I can tell she doesn’t want that. She straight up said she likes our time together. So I can tell she doesn’t want my wife around when we do it.
So i guess I have no idea what her intentions are. I mean she says the friend thing but it seems a lot of what she does says something completely different. In addition to all of this we usually talk through text late at night after our SOs are asleep.
Thoughts guys?
So I have a female friend( I am male). I really have no idea what her thoughts or intentions are and it’s driving me crazy. So it is a girl I work with that at first we didn’t really care for each other. We eventually became work friends and then started hanging out outside of work. We are both attached to others and the 4 of us started hanging out together.
She and I started making sexual jokes to each other and she’d even joke about if we pissed off our partners to the point of leaving we’d have to be married. I work at a warehouse so the sexual jokes for me were always in fun( constantly make sexual jokes to the guys and I’m not at all gay or bi lol). So it was no big deal, literally felt the same as one of the dudes.
So time goes on and we find out we both enjoy doing a certain narcotic recreationally now and again. We also know this wouldn’t fly with our partners at all!! So we would meet up alone and do it obviously our partners didn’t know or even knew we were together. This happened quite a few times. All the while just seeing her as a friend.
About 2 years ago the 4 of us went to Vegas and were at a dance club. I was dancing behind my wife and and my female friend was staring at me hard. She then whispered in my ear that our SOs weren’t cut out for Vegas and that her and I should go there without them sometime. I didn’t think too much of this as we were drinking and it was always just friendly occasions between us( besides the joking around stuff).
So about a year ago I noticed I started having feelings for her. We were all out for a party and I was standing sort of behind/beside her if that makes sense. I said something to her and just lightly caressed her arm with my thumb. No big deal right? But I caught myself, realizing that’s not something I’d do with her. So it kind of freaked me out( obviously our others didn’t see this). Anyhow, I know it caught her attention because she immediately turned to me and propped her leg up on the foot rest for the stool( we were both standing). I could tell she was trying to discretely get my attention as she was looking at me( I could see through my side vision as I was purposely didn’t look cause it weirded me out). After a few seconds of me not reacting she pointed to her leg and said something( I couldn’t hear her but I pretended like I did and did the smile and nod thing, she was wearing a skirt btw). So after awhile I started thinking about her a lot. Here’s the thing though, she’s very pretty girl, but I am not at all physically attracted to her. Not even a bit but I want to be around her( I think a walk on the beach holding her hand would be amazing!!) But absolutely don’t even think about her in a sexual way.
So I ended up telling her this( during one of our secret meet ups). I told her I like her a little more than I should seeing as how we are both married. I apologized and she asked why I’d apologize and I told her that’s it was weird. She then asked me why it was weird. Kind of trying to probe for more info Is the feeling I got. I told her I hope she didn’t want to not hang out with me because of it and that I would never cross a line with here as I would never cheat on my wife and I don’t believe she would on her husband. When she asked why it was weird I told her because it was ridiculous cuz we both know nothing could ever happen. We then kind of just moved on from the conversation.
Over the next few days we texted a lot talking about it and I was feeling guilty about even letting feelings for her arise. I told her I felt like a terrible husband for it. She would give positive feedback saying I wasn’t a terrible husband. After awhile she said it’s no big deal and that I was in the friend zone anyways( she said this with a lol). Since then we hung out alone multiple times and she recently started telling me how she’s not happy with her man anymore and that she doesn’t want sex with him( kind of odd convo). I recently told her I’d like to have my wife try the fun with us and I can tell she doesn’t want that. She straight up said she likes our time together. So I can tell she doesn’t want my wife around when we do it.
So i guess I have no idea what her intentions are. I mean she says the friend thing but it seems a lot of what she does says something completely different. In addition to all of this we usually talk through text late at night after our SOs are asleep.
Thoughts guys?
