Ways to be successfully social

[Moon Ram]

In order to be social one has to understand the characteristics of both a social and an unsocial person. How are you suppose to know about day if you don't know anything about night. I have a a few friends who are unsocial and a few who are very social. When I observe & compare both the types, I see many sharp differences.
Unsocial
-always looks down at the ground when walking, appears to be deep in thoughts
-most of the time they are quiet & they speak in low voices, monotonous voice
-they are always trying to please others (like servants)
-really easy to get their attention
-easy to make friends with
-they talk about limited subjects, so they become boring after a few minutes
-they don't have any life
-the only thing that they know is 'study'
-they are scared to pursue their dreams
-they are scared to even talk about their dreams because they think that others will laugh at them
-they don't have anything unique about them (most of them study all day long but still doesn't get good grades)
-they are very predictable. Most of them stay at home & study.
-they loose their calmness at the slightest change of environment(insecure)
-they are controlled by the environment
Social
-look everywhere, makes eye-contact with everyone when walking
-always seems to be talking to someone
-speak in a normal or loud but clear voice
-they are not always trying to please others but are trying to have fun (like kings)
-really hard to get their attention
-comparatively hard to make friends with
-they are updated with the latest trends
-they are always busy
-they have a lot of things going on in their life
-they pursue their dreams
-each of them are unique in their own ways (good debates, good musicians, good soccer players, etc.)
-they are mysterious, I don't know how they spend their days but they appear to have fun most of the time
-they are always calmness even in the most toughest environment (secure about themselves)
-they seem to control the environment
Now, who will everyone prefer, the social guy or the unsocial one. Not only girls but also guys will flock towards the guys who are socially adjusted. To me it seems that most of the guys who are AFC's possesses the traits of my unsocial persons. But the difference between my unsocial friends and the AFC's on this site is that, my friends will not change their ways no matter how much I tell them, but the AFC's on this site wants to change their ways. To me they are all potential DJ's.

 

[Moon Ram]

I can see that you have skimmed through the article. You are thinking, "This is all common stuff, I have heard & read them a thousand times". But my question to all of you is, did you experience & observe these things in real life. Like most of the posters, I have also read along these lines thousand times before. At that time I couldn't experience those teachings(mainly because I had no popular friends to compare with!).But I have understood those teachings when I have seen them work in real life. I know that many of you have been here for a long time, and you still didn't achieve the goals that you have set for yourself when you first came to this site.Do you know the reason, it is because there is a great chasm between what you know and your experience. When you can finally combine what you know and what you have experienced, you will finally learn. So, I think it is time that you combine what you know with your experience.

 

[Bluesteak]

Its true, I see bolth types walking around campus everyday.

 

[Privitor]

What a crock of ****!

In order to be social one has to understand the characteristics of both a social and an unsocial person. How are you suppose to know about day if you don't know anything about night. I have a a few friends who are unsocial and a few who are very social. When I observe & compare both the types, I see many sharp differences.
Unsocial
-always looks down at the ground when walking, appears to be deep in thoughts What if you do that from time to time? What if you are in deep thoughts? Never happened to you?
-most of the time they are quiet & they speak in low voices, monotonous voice
-they are always trying to please others (like servants)
-really easy to get their attention
-easy to make friends with
-they talk about limited subjects, so they become boring after a few minutes
-they don't have any life Meaning?
-the only thing that they know is 'study'
-they are scared to pursue their dreams Happens to both the unsocial and social fellas
-they are scared to even talk about their dreams because they think that others will laugh at them
-they don't have anything unique about them (most of them study all day long but still doesn't get good grades) How exactly do you know that? Since when getting good grades reflects your level of knowledge/intelligence. E.G: A group of guys in my University invented this medical device which was supposed to be bought with $1 million in the US (no kidding). Yet, one of the guys (who also worked for IBM-Ferrari [Database stuff] and was going to work at Oracle) failed maaaany of his exams. He was such a loser, right?
-they are very predictable. Most of them stay at home & study. Is there a study showing that?
-they loose I think it was the Urban Dictionary who said that "a looser" is a loser who can't spell "lose/loser" their calmness at the slightest change of environment(insecure) Get real! Happens to both the categories
-they are controlled by the environment

Basically, you tried to portray studying as if it's a bad thing. What you have just done shows us all that you are stupid. (A bit unsocial as well, cuz you have troubles meeting women.)

Social
-look everywhere, makes eye-contact with everyone when walking Looks everywhere? Is he scared? Makes eye contact with EVERYONE? Looking for acceptance? Is he confused, lost, scared, anxious?
-always seems to be talking to someone Always? He'd better shut his big mouth. He should study instead, or he will become a BUM talking to everyone.
-speak in a normal or loud but clear voice
-they are not always trying to please others but are trying to have fun (like kings)
-really hard to get their attention Why? Are they pricks or are they challenged?
-comparatively hard to make friends with So they're not unsocial, but antisocial. Or jerks.
-they are updated with the latest trends Thanks, but we should carry ourselves however we like, not according to the trends
-they are always busy
-they have a lot of things going on in their life
-they pursue their dreams The unsocial may be doing the same thing. I dunno, but I bet that the ones that invented the (advanced) technology were not the most social guys ever, but they pursued their dreams of getting to a deep level of knowledge. Them losers!

*actually, you are writing shyt on the Internet because of some unsocial guys who never pursued their dreams of getting really good at electronics :yes:
-each of them are unique in their own ways (good debates, good musicians, good soccer players, etc.) What if you're good at sending robots to the moon? Studying takes up most of your time and your social skills suffer. BUT you cannot say that you are good in your own way, right?
-they are mysterious, I don't know how they spend their days but they appear to have fun most of the time
-they are always calmness even in the most toughest environment (secure about themselves) Being social has nothing to do with this.
-they seem to control the environment
Now, who will everyone prefer, the social guy or the unsocial one. Not only girls but also guys will flock towards the guys who are socially adjusted. To me it seems that most of the guys who are AFC's possesses the traits of my unsocial persons. But the difference between my unsocial friends and the AFC's on this site is that, my friends will not change their ways no matter how much I tell them, but the AFC's on this site wants to change their ways. To me they are all potential DJ's.

If you actually believe in what you just wrote you are a loser! You and all those who agree with you.


*you do have some good stuff, though

 

[Groovy]

What a crock of ****!



If you actually believe in what you just wrote you are a loser! You and all those who agree with you.


*you do have some good stuff, though

BAHHHAHAHAHAHAH!!

Man, that was very funny.

I can't seem to write a honest response to this...

Some good stuff? Okay, you still have SOME hope then.

(Of course you gotta take it all with a grain of salt, but that was TOO MUCH hate it was funny!) (Not saying your post had no truth, but cmon, that was OBVIOUS.).

 

[Groovy]

Actually, I tought that post was full of truth. I was surprised. Good post! Keep posting!

But what the **** was that second post man? that sounded not so good at all! (first part especifficly). you could EASILY have left that one out!

 

[search1ng]

that list is too stereotypical, that's the problem. You can't just divide the 'unsocial,' and 'social' like that. Sure there are certain characteristics that seem prevalent among certain types of groups but that doesn't define them to a single category. You're limiting yourself if you think like this.

 

[Stud No1]

Disagree with alot of this mate,

Firstly you try to correlate social people with their study ethos (which is stereotypical but often wrong) whilst at the same time infering that it is the social people that tend to be successful? Thats a major flaw right there. Theres plenty of super intelligent, hardworking and successful people from both categories. Some of the best socialites i know are actually losers. Think about the town drunk. Whereas the anti-social people might be a scientist or judge, hell even a popular sports man. You appear to assume, for example, that all famous people are social? Because many of them aren't, they get to where they are by skill and hard work, not necessarily their social capacity.

Secondly, things like the sociable person is harder to be friends with. This isn't necessarily the case at all; in fact quite often it could be the anti-social person who is difficult to relate with or become friends with because they are socially awkward and actually make others uncomfortable too.

This is only the tip of the iceberg, overall you're just generalising and trying to pigeon-hole all of these supposedly attractive qualities under these categories when many of these correlations simple don't work. One last one for ex- why is the social person always mysterious? Sometimes the unsocialable person is the mysterious one (even if thats in a bad way) whereas a sociable person might be very much an open book that is what you see is what you get (which is very often the case - people like genuine people)

 

[Bonafide]

Bull**** post. Try again.

 

[DJVladdy]

no its a GOOD post,

except he picked the wrong words: he did not mean "unsocial" or "social"

First list should be called "alpha male" "leader" "manly"... and second list can be called "beta" or "follower" or "unmanly".

Now if you read it again it will make perfect sense.

And by the way "pivitor" - get out of your head and stop being such an uptight nerd. The way you write just SCREAMS those qualities about you..

 

[DJVladdy]

Im sorry I mean FIRST list is beta, second is alpha, and so on.

 

[Privitor]

no its a GOOD post,

except he picked the wrong words: he did not mean "unsocial" or "social"
Actually, I wrote that in the original post, but then deleted it because I realized that the bullshyt would still stick to the op's post.

First list should be called "alpha male" "leader" "manly"... and second list can be called "beta" or "follower" or "unmanly".

Now if you read it again it will make perfect sense.
No, it does not!

And by the way "pivitor" - get out of your head and stop being such an uptight nerd. The way you write just SCREAMS those qualities about you.. Ok

The things some guys wrote in the past on this forum are taken out of the context, their meaning is taken to the extremes, and then the usual chorus of buddies comes and hails the post/op. Some of you guys would eat shyt if that's what you were to be fed with.

 

[suaveplayer]

a lot of good stuff on the lists. very convinient cuz its in list form

 

[DJVladdy]

What are you arguing with.
Obviously you disagree with me - so what do YOU think is wrong with what he wrote.

by the way - I can tell the OP is young kid (highschool), thats why he says its not manly to study all the time. Its not necessarily bad... other than that what don't you like.

 

[Paintballguy]

How can you say someone that studies is unsocial? I agree with some of your points. Some are just huge generalizations though.

 

[War Against Betaism]

The flaw to this topic is that you're defining what a "social" person is and an "unsocial" person through their actions when it's been beaten to death that things like these are defined by their mindset. Like I've said before, AFC's are prone to do DJ things and DJ's are prone to commit AFC acts. I remember a ridiculous thread stating how Batman was an AFC because of just one scene from the trailer. Now there are some points that are spot on but there is just way too many that are off or irrelevant to "social" and "unsocial" behaviour.

 

[magickarl]

Those uncool study habits aren't going to be nearly as uncool when those guys are picking up college chicks instead of townies and a few years later driving down the road with some hot trophy wife in their BMW that they earned with money from a fantastic job instead of tooling around with a bar skank in a Chevy Caprice.