Was this some kinda **** test ?

[RIchardo]

Ok, heres the backround info.

I met this cutie in my highschool class and we hungout a few times and had a blast, then last week i took her back to my place to watch a movie but we ended up making out passionatley for 2 hours.

This girl is always really happy to see me and pays me attention, asks how im doing, and can remember every minute detail of conversations we had and such. I havent acted desperate at all, and like i said our 3rd outing turned into a makeout fest....

She was my homecomign date for last night and that went absolutley great, we had a blast and i was still doing the CF , takeaways and all that , she was loving it.

After the dance we are in my car and end up making out again but like halfway through shes like " I dont want a serious relationship right now , i just got out of that" i was like wtf in my head cuz this just totally conflicted with her behavior but i just played it cool and said "Yeah i just got out of one too, but this is fun isnt it" and we then resumed making out and after a whiel i stopped and took her home..... but that statement she made really puzzled me

Could it have been ASD cuz thats only been the fourth time we hung out and she didnt want to be seen as easy.... or is she trying to like see how i respond to that , whether i will give up or continue like nothin happened?

 

[You ain't a DJ]

Originally posted by RIchardo
" I dont want a serious relationship right now , i just got out of that"

= 'I don't want a boyfriend, I don't want you with me 24/7, I don't want anything emotional ... I JUST WANT TO HAVE SEX!!!'

What the FUKK are you tripping out for???

 

[ZeeOwl]

Impossible to know for sure, with so little info. But here's my "feel" of it...

ASD is unlikely as you already made out with her before, and this isn't the type of comment that a girl would use for ASD. I would say 1 of 2 things.
a) She was just telling you the truth. She just got out of a relationship, and she doesn't feel ready for any kind of emotional commitement right now.
b) She was trying to find out how you felt about her, in an roundabout way.

I don't see any conflicting behavior here. You two were making out, she was talking about a relationship.

 

[RIchardo]

Well, i actually would like a relationship with this girl, if she was just hot then i wouldnt mind the benefits without strings, but she has the qualities i look for in a girlfriend.

Should i just keep casually dating and see if her feelings change or whatnot or should i just cut this cold turkey and go for others?

Im not sure about the asd, while she was willing to makeout (and she did get pretty into it) she wouldnt let me go to 2nd.

 

[iqqi]

straaaange. i think it was a **** test. she wants to be hard to get. maybe she thinks she likes you more than you like her, and she is trying to even the playing field. who knows. you can only know how you feel for sure, and if you want more than what she is offering (whether it is a **** test or not), then be true to yourself. you can still be funny and ****y about it.

"you don't want a serious relationship, eh? ha ha, hope that you think twice about that otherwise it'll be your loss...", while smiling charmingly. and if she still acts retarded, then LJBF her arse.

 

[Señor Fingers]

Originally posted by iqqi
straaaange. i think it was a **** test. she wants to be hard to get. maybe she thinks she likes you more than you like her, and she is trying to even the playing field. who knows. you can only know how you feel for sure, and if you want more than what she is offering (whether it is a **** test or not), then be true to yourself. you can still be funny and ****y about it.

"you don't want a serious relationship, eh? ha ha, hope that you think twice about that otherwise it'll be your loss...", while smiling charmingly. and if she still acts retarded, then LJBF her arse.

Nice post. Very eye-opening for me.

I always thought of shyt-tests as a way for a girl to "qualify" me and see if I am worthy of her affections (true in so many cases) But your explanation really hits home because I have seen the opposite happen, where a girl thinks I am too good for her (too much social proof/ conveyed value) and tries to be distance herself from an anticipated rejection.

I think that the best approach to this is too do some light playful C&F and then get more rapport with her, so that you connect with each other, wchich is the ultimate way to "level the playing field"

"I don't want a serious relationship right now"

If I was in your shoes, I woulda said:

"Me niether. Serious is so...well, serious! Makes a relationship sound like a bad medical condition or something. I'd much rather have fun than be serious anyday."

Usually dissolves any resistence with a laugh, and I've never had a girl disagree with me.

Reminds me of the single most important "tip" you can ever take to heart.

HAVE FUN!

 

[RIchardo]

thank you for the insightful replies, i suppose i was sorta close to what you would have said senor fingers. Ill see how this week goes and propose something for friday.

Oh yeah, she repeatedly thanked me for showing her such a good time at the dance

 

[THA REALNESS]

Lol.I would of just kept going.

 

[Señor Fingers]

A short, but great post from THA REALNESS.

Often times you can just plow through ASD by agreeing with her verbally while escalating the physical stuff. If she is persistent with her talk of serious relationships, try the above suggestion.

 

[iqqi]

Originally posted by Señor Fingers

If I was in your shoes, I woulda said:

"Me niether. Serious is so...well, serious! Makes a relationship sound like a bad medical condition or something. I'd much rather have fun than be serious anyday."

yes, well you gotta be careful with this one. this might just fail her **** test, like "oh, he doesn't really want to be with me seriously. he just wants @ss. i knew it."

so be careful.

 

[RIchardo]

well, the relationship thing is true, i just found out that maybe a month or two ago she was involved in a LTR breakup or like 8-10months or somthing liek that..... so maybe that alters my gameplan?

 

[Señor Fingers]

Originally posted by iqqi
yes, well you gotta be careful with this one. this might just fail her **** test, like "oh, he doesn't really want to be with me seriously. he just wants @ss. i knew it."

so be careful.

Interesting feedback.

It all depends on the situation I reckon. I have never had a bad reaction before so maybe there is something else I am doing unconsciously. Hmmm...

BTW its ok to say "ass"

 

[GTS Jeff]

you know, even if she wants to keep things light for now, if u can stay with that..she will demand a more serious relationship in a short while. girls are like that, even if they say they just want to keep it casual, they will eventually cave in for a serious relationship. just keep doing what ure doing!

 

[RIchardo]

i think thats going to be my course of action jeff.

How long does it usually take girls to get over ex's though? Even with a dj working them (i would like to think of myself as somewhat of a dj at least)

 

[GTS Jeff]

Originally posted by RIchardo
i think thats going to be my course of action jeff.

How long does it usually take girls to get over ex's though? Even with a dj working them (i would like to think of myself as somewhat of a dj at least)

about 2 weeks if u are a somewhat interesting person haha